Learn how to shut up.

Dzuari · 2015-05-13T14:07:53+00:00

You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you want to teach, teach by example, not with words. People can misunderstand words, there is no misinterpretation when they see your reality.

Di-onysos · 2015-05-13T14:46:18+00:00

Being the strong silent type works but you have to pay attention to the context.

If no one in the circle you're at knows your SMV, being quiet can lead you to being ignored. They assign you mediocre SMV due to your lack of social dominance. Meanwhile, if your SMV in group is high, your quietness will only enhance it. People wonder what you are thinking and will hang onto your every word. When you use this right you can control the group with very few words, your approval or disapproval carries weight.

Also pay attention to body language and visual appearance. Shabby, overweight, badly dressed male with inconfident body language combined with quietness is in the abyss of SMV. Meanwhile, the athletic, well-dressed, confidence-exuding quiet man is an enigma. The image will send, individually, the imaginations of the group running. "What is he like?" "Why is he that way?" "What does he think of me?". The simultaneous display of apparently high SMV, uncaredness towards the group and impenetrable poker face puts you, without "doing" a thing, into the position where almost every one in the group feels they must validate themselves to you.

Of course, the success of the above approach hinges on whether you can pull off the reality/illusion that your SMV is vastly higher than anyone else's in the group.

wanderer779 · 2015-05-13T14:37:16+00:00

Whenever I read posts like this, I always wonder how many red pillers I know in real life.

rpreader · 2015-05-13T13:44:03+00:00

Probably the most important thing I ever took from this site is to learn to use silence game. Silence can say more than talking ever could. When you're silent, she doesn't know what you think or feel. The hamster starts faster than it ever would with words. A million things go through her hear about what you might be thinking and how she should respond. Ergo: all her attention is focused on you.

Remain a mystery. If something she said doesn't contribute anything, don't waste the effort to respond. Be a man of few words who only says what he needs to.

TekkomanKingz · 2015-05-13T14:42:41+00:00

Since I'm Black I often get a pass to say what I want on certain subjects because I don't have as many privilege points as a White male. Nonetheless I do come across as non-confrontational and open minded the majority of times so if people do ask me about my opinion on gender relations - They feel what I am saying is reflective of conditions in the Black community as opposed to a group of angry White men online. This gets their guard down and their ears open purely based on my skin color (which is ridiculous of course).

What is hilarious is they do not realize (especially the Liberals) that what is happening in our community is basically foreshadowing the future of the rest of this nation. Sooner or later it will no longer be a "Black Problem". And frankly when it comes to Single Motherhood - It already isn't.

EmperorAurelius · 2015-05-13T14:59:49+00:00

Holy fuck. Today when I woke up I did a little introspection. I talk way too much. Damn too much. To coworkers. To people I know or don't know well. It's a big problem. I told myself during that introspection that I need to shut the fuck up.

malevolentmc · 2015-05-13T14:51:38+00:00

As someone who views himself as a openly creative/expressive individual, the aspect of silence is the newest face of TRP being revealed to me..

I realized I've been saying way to much. I'm finally coming to a place of understanding. edit: For anyone reading, care to offer words for how to overcome the 'feeling' of expression? Sometimes, I simply feel very anxious to 'say my piece' on a certain matter. I have a hard time keeping it down. And the internal dialogue is just a constant cycling of a 'new' 'safer' ways to 'accurately' express myself.

All the while at the same time I know that I should just be quiet.

flexiblehold · 2015-05-13T16:05:30+00:00

Also learn, how to use. Commas and periods correctly. It makes, it difficult, to read. When clauses are all hacked up in the wrong places and in the wrong ways.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/clauses.htm

electroavenue · 2015-05-13T16:18:07+00:00

I read this in the voice of William Shatner, since you impulsively punctuate.

Good post.

mbooter · 2015-05-13T16:47:11+00:00

This is all good advice but I would caution that refusing to speak can make you seem arrogant. American society is already cold and unfriendly. Refusing to have a decent conversation with a stranger sitting next to you on the train or airplane is just plain rude. Not alpha. Alternatively, yes being a chatterbox that only talks because you don't like silence is bad, but there are some instances where you are going to half to start the conversation even if it is a shallow one, and putting yourself out there to make other people comfortable is alpha.

gardens4lyf · 2015-05-13T13:47:30+00:00

Anyone got anything further to say on 3)? I believe this is happening to me now (cut off a girl I used to orbit, she actually tried to branch swing to me and failed, drama ensued).

Not sure exactly what has been spread around but I've noticed a few people treating me differently. Would love to be able to bring them around a bit but I'm not sure how well that's going to work.

2015-05-13T20:59:33+00:00

Well written, I wish i knew this before I had to go through many "friends" and hang out groups to learn where i was fucking up. Well written except this part.

Don't say nothing at all.

It is correct in rabbit communities, but in human land it's a double negative. Say nothing at all or don't say anything at all.

_whistler · 2015-05-13T21:45:40+00:00

'Strong' & 'Silent' go together for a reason.

2015-05-13T21:57:52+00:00

Law #4: Always say less than necessary.

Saving on words brings about critical thinking. The more you economize, the more you ponder over every word you say. You end up committing less blunders and slips. Remember that you can never take back your words once you have said them.

Saving on words keeps you enigmatic and interesting. It makes your audience think more about the few, meaningful words you said--and they end up ingesting and understanding your message more. They end up hanging on to every word you say.

From the book "The 48 Laws of Power".

Senderious · 2015-05-13T13:49:16+00:00

And is the book of Pook any good? And what do you mean with that neat stumble app you can add to your browser?

Tenebris_Rubrum · 2015-05-13T22:34:16+00:00

I've something to add here. In my unit at university, the guys were looking at tinder. They read out one girl's profile, where she said "if you can't put up with...blah feminist bullshit...blah. entitled me...blah, then swipe left", as soon as the guy read that out, I said very loudly "But who would put up with that?". The reaction I got from the guys was wonderful. They all agreed with me. But then I realized that the girl they were talking about was standing behind me. That's why the guys had laughed so much when I said it. I live with this girl, so looks like I've got some rough times ahead.

The lesson is, like OP said, know the opinions of those in the room before you open your mouth, but ALSO, be 100% aware of who else might hear what you have to say, even if you can't see them.

2015-05-13T22:52:13+00:00

Have a giant ego

Be friendly

Don't give a fuck about making friends

Fuck bitches

Fuck what bitches think

Least stressful way to live life. Period

Rougepellet · 2015-05-14T00:13:13+00:00

Being so politically correct is like being in a circle where everyone gives each other a reach around. People's shitty egos have become so sensitive nowadays that giving public speeches is like walking on broken glass. Do these people have nothing else to do with their short shitty lives than to worry about who said what?

kempff · 2015-05-14T03:04:01+00:00

Holy shit, yes, this! ...with the shutting of the pie-hole.. Preach it, brother!

Like you, I had to become aware that I was doing this myself. Since doing so and learning to moderate my speech, I then noticed that everyone around me still does this. They just open the mouth vent and let that shit run without stopping.

I now see it as one of the principle tells of a weak, beta, femmidude. The few people I know that are truly alpha all seem to have mastered their own mouths. Whereas beta men run their mouths ad nauseam

Running one's mouth impulsively and excessively is a feminine trait. Seems to me that's it's so common among beta males because it's an inevitable result of blue-pill conditioning.

I see two elements of the problem:

First, the inability to stop chattering...through nervousness, restless energy, child-like enthusiasm...for whatever reason women and beta men are compelled to operate their mouth...it's the act of speaking itself regardless of the content. It's a compulsion to make mouth make noise.

Second, the content. More accurately the busted ass filter between the mind and the mouth, so that every thought that occurs is articulated immediately regardless of appropriateness or audience interest. Someone's talking and it reminds you of something, you have to speak to that something and explain it in detail. God forbid someone disagrees with you because then you have to be right about something....and pontificate at length why you are right. Again this is mindless of whether anyone else gives a shit or not. It's compulsive behavior, lack of mental discipline, a form of weakness.

There is strength in playing your cards close to your chest as well as not operation your speech mechanism recklessly. There are advantages to being quiet.

-You cultivate an air of mystique.

-You make a doofus of yourself a whole lot less.

-You free up tons of mental resources, improving your situational awareness and overall ability to read people. Think about it. How often have you or someone you know been running their mouth and missed something, got in a wreck, that kind of thing? Hell, I know a guy who, once he gets going good, literally has trouble standing and starts falling into shit.

-You draw less attention to yourself.

-You maintain frame.

So yeah, probably one of the best things you can do to become more alpha is control your head sphincter.

TL;DR: STFU

2015-05-14T12:37:24+00:00

I have a good friend. Well, he used to be my best friend, but now we are really just friends who play soccer together sometimes.

I told him once about my beliefs and he would always respond, "I'm not going to argue with you."

All along I thought he was agreeing with me like I was preaching to the choir. Turns out I was pissing him off and he didn't want to add fuel to the fire. I alienated one of my best friends because I thought he thought and felt the same as me.

We still hang out but it's never been the same. This thread is a good lesson for everyone.

Now that I think of it I should probably clean up my Facebook page too. That would be a dead giveaway.

2015-05-14T16:42:23+00:00

I think every man should show his opinions through his actions, he doesn't have to tell everyone his views on this or that, but he should always act according to his principles, or else, he's not a man, but a slave.

Especially when you want to show off how red pilled you are and how alpha you are, don't do that, but act upon it. Actions speak louder than words, and words can easily be perceived as weakness.

Just a thought.

prodigyx · 2015-05-13T16:55:26+00:00

People respect a natural. Don't let them know that you read TRP, or spend hours in the gym every day.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-05-13T15:20:33+00:00

I am exactly the same way, and have been cultivating NOT automatically just speaking my thoughts. I have noticed a direct correlation between telling a lot about yourself or experiences, and the interest from even established partners.

The less I talk, the more they reach, the more affection they show, and the better and longer the relationships generally are. It's a work in progress.

BadassRPMofo · 2015-05-13T16:00:37+00:00

It is often said that you shouldn't speak if you have nothing meaningful to say. Silence is often a very powerful tool. At the same time, being able to speak to people and more importantly, getting them to speak about themselves is a skill that should not be overlooked.

One of my greatest skills is engaging in conversation with women without saying/revealing much about myself. The less you reveal, the more they try to validate themselves to you. It's like being the facilitator of a conversation she's having with herself. At some point she'll catch on and say something like, "You haven't said much. I've been doing all the talking. I should let you talk." I just smile and tell them how much I enjoy listening to them.

2015-05-13T16:30:22+00:00

I say always keep your mouth closed until you have something important to say.

This matches my natural frame, in the trp and physical health sense, and I find people respect my opinion more.

To each his own , but if you can play the strong silent type, and have the physical build for it, I recommend shutting up and being quiet unless absolutely necessary.

should_ · 2015-05-13T17:02:18+00:00

I understand very well the importance of and power behind not saying what you think when it's an unpopular opinion. But it's gotten to this point where not saying anything in response to something blatantly man-hating feels like self-denial, or like not applying my will to my reality. Everyone close to me and even in my secondary circle knows I sport controversial views at this point, but the way I spout them is always tasteful, and I am always open to saying things like "yeah I see what you mean" and acknowledging when they're right. I frame 'debate' like we're conjoining the different info we know (and honestly that's how I think it should be); feminists and SJWs that freak out at me just make themselves look like total asses next to my gentlemanly posture. The blue haired girls in my life actually dig my presence.

I also understand showing by example is the best way, but I have a feeling people in my circle will still be blind after I win at life with manliness and get a long-term and willingly submissive partner. Honestly sometimes what people say is hilarious and I understand the importance of keeping a sense of humor about these things; Julian from RSD laughing it off hands in pockets when that feminist was punching him comes to mind, and I'm not out of control. But the more people I 'lose' because they see me as thinking 'dangerous thoughts', the less of a shit I give. Business and employment wise? Yeah that might bite me. But as someone who works in an artistic field, I don't feel the need to be in a rehearsal room with people who are anti-sex and spend two evenings a week to hear them talk about the evils of men. I'm good.

2015-05-13T17:21:09+00:00

On point man. I'm the exact same way. I talk way too much. I also project my thoughts onto others, thus I assume they should think like I do. So when I don't get the response I like, I don't understand, and there becomes cognitive dissonance.

t0mbstone · 2015-05-13T19:03:40+00:00

This post strikes home for me.

There are a couple of devout feminists in my office, and they actually hold a "womens-only" lunch with all of the women in the office every Friday.

I recently got into a debate with one of these feminists (outside of work, at a birthday party), and ever since then, I've noticed other females in the office have been acting aloof and borderline unfriendly towards me (even though I've never been anything but nice and professional towards them).

The only logical conclusion I can draw is that the woman I had the argument with went and dragged my name through the mud amongst all of the other women.

I should have just kept my mouth shut. Nothing I can say will change their minds. All I accomplished was getting myself blacklisted.

Killigraphy · 2015-05-13T19:30:13+00:00

The main tact is to act like David Carusso in Jade or James Spader in The Blacklist, those two are the most accurate analogies that best cover this topic at hand. Come into the scene knowing you have to manipulate and lie into the space of other people. Any other way is boring or not beneficial to you.

Be patient, but always be in control, be funny, but don't be a Merry Andrew, no one likes a clown, even Mel Brooks acts completely cool in person, save the slapstick for broadway or a youtube vid. Your job is to be a beacon of knowledge and smoothness, if you can't be clever, be charming, if you can't be charming, be brilliant.

Rorta · 2015-05-13T21:30:09+00:00

Keeping stum is an essential power play. I can't count the number of times I've fucked up or been fucked over because I opened my mouth. I'm a talkative person, but to those I don't trust my words are mainly misdirection.

Greene didn't include Law 4 for no reason.

Skank_of_America · 2015-05-13T21:34:04+00:00

I used to have an urge to explain past texts and interactions to a girl I knew by explaining my underlying motivations. But being a silent guy by nature most of the time, I opted for just accepting what was said and forming new interactions. It works better that way for me. It forms an element of mystery, covers up the hard-or-impossible-to-explain, and puts you in a position of slight power.

-Quotidian · 2015-05-13T21:44:00+00:00

Don't speak without purpose. It's the easiest way to dilute the potency of your speech, and for people to find your time and attention increasingly less valuable. Remove yourself from the discussion when it no longer interests, concerns, or benefits you--and feel no need to appease others when you do this. If a superior speaks, then obviously their speech concerns you, their subordinate, and you should listen…but when a subordinate speaks, and they're wasting your time, feel free to cut them off or leave without remorse. Your time is--or should be--valuable.

Be comfortable in your own skin. "A silver tongue is fine, but silence is golden." Know when it's better not to say anything, and what posture, facial expression, and type of eye-contact will best serve you in these circumstances. Master at least one "deadpan" expression (it feels and appears natural when you've mastered it), and use it. The people who converse with you regularly will learn to recognize that expression and its nuances if you use it appropriately, and they're not completely oblivious.

Once you've learned to concentrate your words for their maximum value and how to keep others from wasting your time with drivel, all that's left is knowing how to read the audience or atmosphere.

Sometimes there is nothing to be said--a decision was made without your input, right or wrong, and any words would be wasted--and sometimes there is too much that needs to be said, and you have to decide where to start. Focus on what is most important, whether you're stating that from the onset or working towards it.

There's obviously much more to it than this, but I found these three to be useful starting points. Hope they help.

FoolishWiseGuy · 2015-05-13T22:13:26+00:00

Personally, I struggle immensely with this, I have always been a polarizing person so having to filter my statements around the sjw type has been tough to say the least (Law 38). Great post OP

my_redpill_account · 2015-05-13T22:34:06+00:00

Good post.

If you're a younger guy like me, sometimes it's tough to shut up. I'm 23, have ADD and have a comedic, charismatic personality. When you're young sometimes you talk a lot, have different opinions that aren't the best to preach, in order for some form of validation from others.

If I can give advice to people like me:

Fix diet and exercise (lift). I had excess energy from not moving much and it can poke into your brain to talk more/be hyperactive.

Since I have ADD I went and got diagnosis after researching, because I didn't want prescribed something I didn't entirely need but it's helped me calm the hell down. Do not self diagnose.

First step to changing behavior is to notice it. It's tough to notice because well, it's something you do without realizing it. Try to meditate more in order to be more observant of how your actions play out. Sometimes it's hard to notice a behavior you're aware of until after it's over and done with, so then reflect and see what you can do to fix it.

Meditate. I started going out to the woods by my house with a notebook to draw comics, it's nice to be away from others and drawing is a nice activity for stress relief for myself, but also reflect on my actions throughout the day. Helps make you "think before you act". By this I mean if you're thinking more instead of speaking, it can cross into your daily life.

These are personal experiences so don't take them too literally, but sometimes it's good to hear what others do.

Remember READ THE SIDEBAR. Very helpful links.

2015-05-14T00:23:11+00:00

You can always argue certain points in pretty much any company as long as you're not self-righteous about it; If you attach your arguments to your sense of self than you'll come off as a try-hard or a snob. But impeccable logic paired with the ability to let someone else think they won if needed can go a long way as far as getting your opinions out there are concerned.

After all, we can't mesh into the status quo of everyone else's discourse all the time; yet, if you don't understand how to use rhetoric effectively, arguing is almost useless. Truth doesn't matter, but presentation does. Learn to shut up, but make sure that people respect your speech.

2015-05-14T05:19:40+00:00

So it seems like what you're saying is "say what you want but don't say what you want because of other peoples opinions, also fuck what people think of you." ??? I don't get it.

moose_war · 2015-05-14T08:37:23+00:00

I noticed I do this recently. I get a bit too negative with my teasing and genuinely make girls mad. It's usually to girls I don't care about, but it's still not very good because I just seem bitter to them.

GregariousWolf · 2015-05-14T11:59:40+00:00

I know the 48 laws of power has been mentioned. Learning when to STFU is part of living deliberately.

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." --Henry David Thoreau

Choosing when to speak is a good habit to cultivate. Running off at the mouth or having verbal diarrhea is a sign you are living reactively. By this I mean you are running on auto-pilot. You are simply responding to stimuli and you are not engaging your brain. Instead, whatever stream-of-consciousness ideas that percolates up makes it past your verbal filter.

There are times when it is OK to disengage this filter, such as among your friends and family. And I am not saying that you should not speak your mind in social situations. I am only saying that holding your tongue is an exercise in self-control.

Philhelm · 2015-05-14T15:38:27+00:00

Part of learning to kill your ego is to learn how to not voice your real opinion.

Why would I want to kill my ego?

1.Adapt to the environment. Don't say your opinion until you know the opinions of the people you are dealing with. For example, I knew I could be truthful, but not completely truthful with my one friend because he asked me if I knew about the "manosphere". I told him, who knows what that manosphere is, but I did stumble upon this thing called the book of pook on that neat stumble app you can add to your browser.

Honestly, this comes across as weak. I'll generally give my honest assessment of something without reservation, since I don't give a shit. The only exceptions being where I have a highly invested interest in keeping my mouth shut (at work, but even then I'll skirt the line). At a base level, lies stem from fear - the fear of the consequences of another knowing the truth of a matter.

Why are there so many people that can't talk about things like the Red Pill or the Manosphere with their friends? What kind of friends are these people that such tame subjects can't be broached? It's not like you're asking your bud if he wants to put on some gay porn and jack each other off.

brasilgringo · 2015-05-14T17:24:02+00:00

What do you do about the opposite situation. Case in point: banging a 19y.o. university student on the 2nd date, she sleeps in my bed, I take her to breakfast/lunch when she finally wakes up at noon the next day ... and she hardly talks at all. So there's that horrible silence of sitting across from her in a small cafe with her saying nothing.

I hate to be making conversation just to make it, but the silence is horrifying and reminds me of all those old couples that never ever talk during meals ... I feel compelled to make statements / ask questions so we're not just sitting there like two lumps, checking our What's Apps and emails.

the1iwant · 2015-05-13T19:26:15+00:00

Short? Sound advice though

Futdashukup · 2015-05-13T18:10:11+00:00

so impressed with all you do tried so hard to be like you flew too high and burnt the wing lost my faith in everything

lick around divine debris taste the wealth of hate in me shedding skin succumb defeat this machine is obsolete

made the choice to go away drink the fountain of decay tear a hole exquisite red fuck the rest and stab it dead

broken bruised forgotten sore too fucked up to care anymore poisoned to my rotten core too fucked up to care anymore

in the back off the side far away is a place where I hide where I stay tried to say tried to ask I needed to all alone by myself where were you? how could I ever think it's funny how everything that swore it wouldn't change is different now just like you would always say we'll make it through then my head fell apart and where were you? how could I ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change is different now like you said you and me make it through didn't quite fell apart where the fuck were you?

Title	Learn how to shut up.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	348
Comments	99
Date	May 13, 2015 1:03 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/35tqlx/learn_how_to_shut_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/learn-how-to-shut-up.32519 https://theredarchive.com/post/32519

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