18M How do I avoid becoming an incel?

lanseri · 2026-07-14T15:20:07+00:00

Easy. Get off Reddit. Turn off your computer. The time you would spend on your phone or computer, spend it in real life talking to people.

Spirited-Bullfrog-45 · 2026-07-14T12:45:02+00:00

Don't think of girls as some mystical egg carrying creatures with a hole that needs filling. Think of them as normal humans and go talk to them nicely. You'll be fine

SuperPoop · 2026-07-14T17:46:42+00:00

real easy. get better. read a lot. stay busy with extracurriculars. compete with yourself from yesterday. after failures, self reflect on where things went wrong and learn from it. that's it.

jarrai8000 · 2026-07-14T21:19:03+00:00

Drop all expectations, and any belief you have about yourself or your appearance.

Don't delude yourself into thinking you "deserve" anything. Life is unfair, and then you die. (My mom would say that to me as a kid)

Just follow your excitement, and follow your instincts. Do what you want, and fuck what anyone thinks. Remember, they're all going to die, so why bother with their opinions?

Be prepared to fail. And fail again. Failure is the first step to succeess.

If you feel any negative emotions, or you have a long streak of bad experiences, just breathe, and remember, this too will pass. When your mind is in turmoil, don't believe the voice in your head. Try and remain curious.

Love yourself.

Dyvanna · 2026-07-14T13:57:31+00:00

A lot of good advice here. Can I recommend a book called Models by Mark Manson.

Nigelthornfruit · 2026-07-14T13:41:38+00:00

Learn to use your balls to guide your decisions and trust them to give you strength to and motivation.

neolantj · 2026-07-14T16:07:04+00:00

you shouldn’t start with just trying to date, and definitely not if you’re not just sexually frustrated. Try and genuinely make friends. Get used to hanging out and talking with girls as buddies and then it will come along if you’re decent. If you just want to date from the get-go then that’s when you fall into the incel mentality (people don’t like it when you basically lie to them)

ComradeCam · 2026-07-14T20:23:49+00:00

Don't obsess over sex. It's actually not that big of deal. Accept your looks and work on them. Fat? Work out and eat. Skinny? Work out and eat. Bad skin or good skin? Wash your face. Shower. Get a hair cut. Grow your beard out and maintain it or shave it. Read a book about science or history.

Once you start having sex you realize it's not that big of a deal. I used to do hinge/ tinder and raw dog chicks. Looking back, probably not a safe practice. Then I learned sex isn't a big deal. I just left for NYC for a week last week. Never left my home state 33 years old. Flew to a city totally opposite of my state. Solo. That was better than fucking.

So OP can have sex and realize it's fun but a cure all or... save some cash and fly somewhere.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2026-07-14T14:22:54+00:00

Limit your time online, stay in shape, get regular social interaction, avoid porn

EstablishmentCute591 · 2026-07-14T12:56:48+00:00

Gym and convo skills, will help u a lot in life

sheldlord · 2026-07-14T15:48:55+00:00

this is cliche but put yourself out there. Actively try to talk to girls and move things forward

HotepOurobo · 2026-07-14T17:43:08+00:00

Get off and stay off the internet. Say hello. Treat them like people. Trust yourself. Improve based on feedback. Go to therapy if need be.

Everything else is noise.

PrinceDestin · 2026-07-14T18:01:50+00:00

Actually find the beauty that lays within the essence of a woman? Simple stuff not hard
To see when they are being nice to you and giving you the things you want

How if you aren’t getting good treatment from them it could be hard but you gotta realize the good essence gets shown anyway with how they may treat others or how they may treat you as a regular person

Crazy_Guidance_2220 · 2026-07-14T18:21:54+00:00

Make platonic female friends in your school/college. And make sure your end goal is not to fuck them, no matter how bad they are, even if they approach first. And Hangout with them. Your social worth would increase automatically. Your anxiety of talking to women would automatically disappear.

m0rbius · 2026-07-14T20:06:14+00:00

Focus on yourself. Travel, take up some fun hobbies, do some physical sport or activity. Don't make your world revolve around what women think of you. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin. Maybe you'll never fully be fully comfortable, but you can get to a point where others won't see it.

This is key, don't view women like they're some higher being. They're just people with problems and insecurities like the rest of us.

Go out on dates and get comfortable just chit chatting. Build your confidence through just putting yourself out there. You are young and you got a lot of time to work on yourself and make yourself into who you want to be. Don't waste it.

shankartz · 2026-07-14T21:59:39+00:00

Treat women like human beings that don't owe you their attention any more than you owe them yours. And recognize that the internet isn't real life nor is it particularly reflective of society.

VinTheStranger · 2026-07-15T05:51:13+00:00

Make friends and find hobbies; don’t obsess over women or seduction. Most incels dont interact with women at all, so make some real platonic friendships with girls and it will help save you from that outsider perspective

HungDaddyNYC · 2026-07-14T13:50:56+00:00

Read. Constantly. Have a hobby. Maintain fitness and activity level. Have goals. Maintain healthy friendships. Fall in love. Be kind. Learn how to cook.

laced1 · 2026-07-14T12:48:55+00:00

Go outside and learn how to talk to women everywhere you go, not just for numbers or sex but just how they talk

Krazyflipz · 2026-07-14T14:35:04+00:00

I'll give you 3 solid pieces of advice.

Gym, essential to health and getting out of the house.

Make and effort to be community aware. Know what's going on in your community, farmers markets, events, etc. Attend these regardless of interest. Maybe you get interested in something you weren't, if not consider the walking around cardio.

Compliment people as often as possible. Guy or girl doesn't matter. Compliment things you see on them that are unique. Hey I like those shoes. You nails look nice. Etc.

Artrock80 · 2026-07-14T16:29:16+00:00

Don’t become angry at women, don’t fall into these right wing uber bro groups…. You have time to create an interesting life for yourself with interesting hobbies, and interesting style. Once you have a life you love, women will be more willing to share it with you.

thegreat4 · 2026-07-14T15:17:07+00:00

Join groups on campus, get friends. Also know that yes school is the main thing but social improvement and networking are also extremely important

SolidWriter356 · 2026-07-14T15:25:23+00:00

First and only tip view woman as human being with her own though and feeling and has her own life i know really crazy. But for real has attractive woman friends that are just friends and that it

Discopotatoz · 2026-07-14T19:23:17+00:00

As a young man, the biggest leg up you can get on your peers is to develop your social skills and talk to women.

Imscubbabish · 2026-07-14T20:01:56+00:00

Best thing to do is work on yourself. Gym for your body, read for your mind, and something for your spirit. And work on your flaws. Mine was a huge one self defeating attitude, I was a shy kid still am in a way. Remember girls aren't some strange other creature they are human. Sometimes the best thing to do is just talk

Timely-Ad2251 · 2026-07-14T22:41:13+00:00

Lol- hit the gym and work on social skills

xXReggieXx · 2026-07-15T00:25:05+00:00

The best thing you can do is to eliminate distractions. The way you stay an incel is by choosing to numb yourself with video games, endless scrolling and even studies (yes, studying).

Eliminate distractions, and you will naturally gravitate towards whatever you're passionate about ;)

Reddit_is_Racist_888 · 2026-07-15T01:25:21+00:00

Make friends with females, approach them as individuals with their own peculiarities, interests, and tastes. Those of them that are romantically interested in you will make it known provided you aren't completely clueless and aloof.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-07-15T07:35:58+00:00

Models by Mark Manson is a good place to start

Key-Proud · 2026-07-14T13:16:45+00:00

Dont think and focus too far on what a success is ... like success = sex or dating

Lower success on the baby steps that gets to sex and/or relationship. - edit: so you become good and to prevent being butt hurt.

Be like a scientist and challenge main stream "opinions" ... and turn opinions to hypotheticals. - scientist will then prove if that hypothetical is correct ... by doubting and challenging it.

For example - Internet says girls dont want to be interrupted when cold approaching them. - now go challenge that by actually doing tons of cold approach.

When you do try to challenge that hypothesis to go learn different tactics to make approaching strangers successful. - for example when you false time constraint during an approach will reduces your rudeness when interrupting a stranger. - false time constraint is saying "2 seconds of your time" ... then open.

Your brain wants proof ... not promises - so go take action instead of reading hypotheticals online... dont stop their and trust it.

Edit: The true form of trust is to doubt until proving wrong.

The world is your laboratory.

Careless-Internet-63 · 2026-07-14T13:55:03+00:00

College is legitimately the easiest place to meet people. Just be social and don't be weird, I met most of the people I met my freshman year just by hanging out in the common areas of the building I lived in. Most people there don't know anyone and are trying to make friends

Nervous-Arrogance · 2026-07-14T13:01:50+00:00

Actually got social events and talk to people.

Frequent-Ad-5738 · 2026-07-14T12:39:05+00:00

runi.surf/smoll?invite=G77USP

fumble__cel · 2026-07-19T06:22:53+00:00

Take it from me. 23 just graduated college. START APPROACHING. Do NOT gaf what people think!!!! I did up until my last semester of college and it has fucked me. Please do not make my mistake! Just approach!

I_EnjoyEatingPoop · 2026-07-15T11:07:55+00:00

Test

erentronic · 2026-07-15T13:48:45+00:00

just be curious, kind, and confident and you'll have girls like me wanting to show you our boobs in no time 😉.

Prudent_Impact7692 · 2026-07-15T22:30:41+00:00

I recommend that you deeply evaluate your situation. Are you neurodivergent? Again, I'm not saying that you are, but people who are often face the fact that they are different and can therefore sometimes be irritating to neurotypical people in social situations. Neurodivergent doesnt mean autism btw, it can be ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia and so on. How was your upbringing? Did you have social exposure? Did you had opportunities to develop and practice your social skills? Do you sometimes experience social anxiety, so do you generally feel safe and grounded when talking to people? What is your attachment style? This could help explain why some people are more drawn to you while others are not. Are you an immigrant in the country you live in? Sometimes, this can lead to meaningful cultural differences that may cause social irritation, not always depending on how large the cultural differences are. This can sometimes be the case if you were socialized differently from what is typical in the country where you live. Are you someone who neglected your appearance in the past? Have you been one of those people who sat in front of a computer and never really took their looks seriously? Do an in-depth analysis of your appearance. What facial ratios do you have? How much forward facial growth do you have, or are your features recessed? Consider your frame, your shoulder-to-hip ratio, your body fat percentage, and other health indicators, such as skin quality. Do you have acne, for example? It is about finding out where you stand, when you start out. There is no point in doing something if you have not understood where you are. The first thing I recommend is becoming an expert on yourself. Map out your situation so that you can understand what makes sense and what the most meaningful step is to invest in.

MrPoopyButthole272 · 2026-07-16T01:25:31+00:00

Befriend women with no intent of sleeping with them. Genuinely listen when they speak. Don’t view them as objects for your pleasure.
This will pay off when you meet someone you want any kind of relationship with.

HitokiriRonin · 2026-07-16T02:43:36+00:00

33/yo and 10 LTRs deep.

The current state of dating is a cutthroat Machiavellian chess game of leverage where whoever cares the least and has the most options wins. Women aren't "bad" there's nothing inherently wrong with women or the feminine historically or biologically. But socially because of social media and dating apps culture has changed.

Womens M.O. is to take as much from you as possible while giving as close to absolutely nothing back as possible. If you ever think "She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't lie about that." Yes she absolutely would. Not cause she's evil, but because this is not a generation focused on love and relationships. It's a generation of competition and she's competing with other women to get the best man possible.

Gain as much status, wealth, and looks as possible and play the game as cutthroat as possible or you will get taken for a ride.

Matter_Still · 2026-07-14T17:12:25+00:00

At the top of the list, get rid of all the arbitrary categories—“simp”, “chad”, “incel”, etc. They are abstractions that create artificial categories. Furthermore, the word “incel” is bullshit. In the overwhelming majority of cases the declared “involuntary celibacy” is a choice. There are, I suppose, paraplegics and quadriplegics as well as others with severe physical limitations who cannot have penetrative sex, but the healthy male who identifies with Elliot Roger and abandoning sex and women is not being made to do so against his will.

That being the case, your question is a strange one. Who asks “How do I avoid becoming a heroin addict?” other than someone who may have a drug problem?

jackthehat6 · 2026-07-14T13:18:11+00:00

hit on WAY WAY more girls, and improve your fashion and physique as much as possible. Even if it means roids etc. You'll get laid at some point

AppointmentItchy5119 · 2026-07-19T00:18:22+00:00

leave reddit

Zestyclose-Chance219 · 2026-07-14T14:13:28+00:00

Join the airforce or Navy if in the US have fun for 4-6 bang hot chicks with your confidence you’ll get and then have free college and bang more. I wish I did that at 18, I did the lite version when I joined at 24. (Coming from a mindset of I’m ugly and girls hate me a few years before I joined)

The service is a party that no one gives a chance lmao

HaikusfromBuddha · 2026-07-14T19:07:36+00:00

Probably avoid this sub reddit. Avoid a lot of online communities. If you haven't noticed by now there is a lot of right winged content that often immediately blames any failures on DEI or woman.

Just avoid it all together my guy.

Rotund_Flatworm · 2026-07-14T15:42:00+00:00

Don't blame anyone but yourself for your troubles.

Sherman140824 · 2026-07-15T00:03:00+00:00

Befriend people who are not virgins

erichf3893 · 2026-07-14T15:51:14+00:00

Be abstinent voluntarily

Lucky-Finish7331 · 2026-07-14T13:55:27+00:00

Become chad

Title	18M How do I avoid becoming an incel?
Author	El_Ray_M
Upvotes	49
Comments	89
Date	July 14, 2026 12:38 PM UTC (4 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1uw7i8v/18m_how_do_i_avoid_becoming_an_incel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/18m-how-do-i-avoid-becoming-an-incel.1585014 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585014

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