Should I break up with my girlfriend?

Thediepend · 2022-07-21T07:10:45+00:00

Seems like you’re in it for a free place to stay. Are you able to afford your own place if you break up with your girlfriend? Or do you just not want to spend your own money yet? Legitimate question.

Regardless, it seems like you want sex more than a stable relationship, which is fair. You’re still young. But really think about what she provides to you other than sex.

AngeloMacon · 2022-07-21T07:14:58+00:00

Requires a major self awareness check. Have you been holding your end up? Or did you just get lazy once you got the girl while faking it till you make it?

i_hella · 2022-07-21T08:06:09+00:00

Keep it moving bud. There is no spark and you’re wasting each others time. Life is short. Dont waste it on something that is not there anymore

Connect-Pear-3859 · 2022-07-21T08:23:03+00:00

Move back home, then start your game again. Don't know what went on during Covid but get over it and move on.

Sex does drop off over time, but not in your twenties! I'm 55 and been married 34 yrs.

Good luck in what you decide.

no_not_this · 2022-07-21T09:08:49+00:00

You’ll never “get any girl you want”. No chance in hell. Just be aware if you want to be with very attractive women you need to have a lot to offer.

In your case without sex I would have been out of there yesterday. Just don’t expect to be Hugh Hefner because you’ll be disappointed

splusm4 · 2022-07-21T08:10:11+00:00

Jesse?

MichaelKnight80s · 2022-07-21T08:33:03+00:00

Yeah man it’s time. Walk away live your life eventually somebody will make the decision to leave you feel it now so do what you have to do. In a strange way that might be exactly what you need to do to get things back how they were if you want them back. Go get your own don’t waste your time you could be doing a whole lot.

minhyo · 2022-07-21T09:09:54+00:00

sounds like a dopamine problem

H8beingmale · 2022-07-21T08:28:29+00:00

i assume you had to ask her out, hit on her

SleepyBeast89 · 2022-07-21T11:37:06+00:00

Most of the time in a relationship that’s at this point, it doesn’t get better. I’m sure you love her but if you want a relationship that still has passion and sex, you’ll need to leave.

No_Intention_8878 · 2022-07-21T13:32:16+00:00

I had the same situation. 5 year relationship and the sex dwindled from multiple times daily at the beginning to like 5 times in a year, we broke up in February and I couldn’t be happier

funkmaster322 · 2022-07-21T13:24:06+00:00

I dont like you at all man. This whole post reeks of narcissism and selfishness. Have you paused for a moment and thought that she might be going through a hard time, might be depressed or sad? Have you entertained the thought that you are not meeting her needs? Which is why sex is becoming a "no go" for you as a couple?

If this were my daughter or sister I'd be kicking you the fuck out of her house. Prick.

aaanon888 · 2022-07-21T09:43:49+00:00

yes, u/sussykeke, you should break up with the gf.

TheNextBigCrash · 2022-07-21T11:49:52+00:00

Become mysterious again. Trust me it works.

Start going out and not saying where you’re going, spend longer at the gym, go to the gym at random times and don’t mention anything.

She’s not attracted to you because you’re boring. Doesn’t matter if you look like Brad Pitt, if you bumble along day to day not being interesting and mysterious she’s gonna fantasies about other people.

Become mysterious again and sex will come back, I promise you.

Edit: and be a man about it. None of this “will you have sex with me tonight pwease? 🥺” Text her at 6 to say you’re going out for dinner, be ready in an hour. Take her out for a meal, walk to watch the sunset and drinks at a cool bar, and if she’s still not interested, then the next day sit her down and say your needs aren’t being fulfilled and you’re breaking up. Again, be a man. None of this “I want to break up.” You have to say “I’m breaking up with you, it’s over.”

sincere_blasphemy · 2022-07-21T07:41:56+00:00

Oh dear, that’s rough. No sex in the relationship does not sound fun. I see in another comment that you said that your gf does not find you attractive? I guess what I would do is make a list of pros and cons. What are gaining from this relationship? What are losing?

And do you feel like it is worth trying to fix the relationship, or would you rather move on? I think that if you are not completely done and over the relationshi, it might be good to to sit down with her and talk about how you’re feeling and see if she feels the same. I would not bring up that you are interested in being with other people until you decide to break up, as I feel like at that point, you’re basically saying that it’s over for her.

Take my advice with a grain of salt, I haven’t been in this exact position. I do understand the strain of mostly sexless relationship, although mine is due to a very busy life and lack of privacy (so it’s no one’s fault, just our life situation). It’s really demoralizing at times, especially when you JUST WANNA FUCK! Haha. Good luck though.

Plenty_Software4415 · 2022-07-21T09:39:53+00:00

Dump her & move out. I’m in your same boat, without the living with her without rent part. I wanna be single I feel like I prosper more while single

froze_gold · 2022-07-21T12:01:30+00:00

I just read this scenario in the book "Models" lol. Can't build a relationship off the PUA style, it doesn't last. If she wanted you like that she'd have sex with you. I agree it's time to split

notanewbiedude · 2022-07-21T13:41:04+00:00

Why are you in a relationship if you wanna be promiscuous?

Low-Illustrator8812 · 2022-07-21T14:32:41+00:00

It’s so easy for couples to fall into a rut when they live together. Hope you’ve been spending some of the cash you save on rent to take her out for special dates to reignite the spark. Just a thought.

ChiraqGorilla24 · 2022-07-21T09:20:20+00:00

If sex is a non negotiable for you then break up with her. Why would you give up something thats important to you in a relationship. Bro you are 24! Get out while you can.

libert-y · 2022-07-21T12:55:27+00:00

You sound like an immature loser. Pay your rent, be a man and leave her, she deserves better

J_Chris_B · 2022-07-21T13:41:24+00:00

Bro you're a Hobosexual get your shit together, you complain about not having sex but you're being a leech to this woman. Break up with her and let a man court her properly or get your shit together there's no grey area.

ILostFull1 · 2022-07-21T09:35:46+00:00

Just using my brain here. If your not having sex anymore she definitely wants too with other dudes if she hasn’t already. Nothing wrong with you because sometimes it just doesn’t work out for both people. Just pull the band aid and do what’s best for you man

sussykeke · 2022-07-21T09:47:13+00:00

I had sex with escorts and became to busy with university but I believe genuine experience builds a person faster. Maturity is being able to grow and take responsibility when it’s time. If she is good to you I say see the relationship through till the end. There will always be others but creating something takes time.

versacelotus · 2022-07-21T10:42:45+00:00

Have you just pulled it out on her? Like if she just sitting somewhere just walk up without saying a word and pull it out?

ChoiceTank · 2022-07-21T08:45:55+00:00

I mean, its weird that she doesn't want to have sex. I'd start to believe she's getting it from someone else

Titty_Slicer_5000 · 2022-07-21T11:51:41+00:00

Have you talked to her about this?

ScuzeRude · 2022-07-21T14:13:30+00:00

She might not be feeling sex with you because freeloading isn’t attractive. Even if there’s other things you help pay for, there’s just something about a man who doesn’t pay his own rent that’s so ick.

PoinFLEXter · 2022-07-21T09:27:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sudo_rai · 2022-07-21T15:38:37+00:00

If you repeat the same PUA shit mostly you are going to end up in the same situation again.

If you don’t want that to happen again, become self aware and fix your life first.

redvelvet_oreo · 2022-07-21T10:39:26+00:00

Talk and sleep with other women.

She will give it up once she notices you having fun with other girls.

But obviously you shouldn’t be doing this for her reaction, it’s just a benefit.

Def don’t get back with her.

Squeeze out the free rent situation and save as much $$$ as possible.

coachmelloweyes · 2022-07-21T10:24:32+00:00

Id stay with her and cheat on the side.

Amalasian · 2022-07-21T14:04:39+00:00

seams your only care is sex. as soon as the sex lessened you lost interest and are not even happy getting free rent.

NightMasterDom · 2022-07-21T15:07:34+00:00

First thing first. Get out or pay her dad some rent, fuck the economy, do your shit, don’t be cheap. You will get the sex part back in no time.

Second; if you feel the urge to be back in the game, don’t waste no time, your youth years are finite, don’t waste it.

And 3: build a business. Can’t stress enough, I wish someone told that when I was in your age.

mugatucrazypills · 2022-07-21T15:34:30+00:00

I mean self respect would dictate that you can support yourself and pay for shit.

Maybe that's why she's not ... fucking you. On the other hand, 90% of women do this or try when a man moves in with them no matter who pays the bills. They should at least keep up the act until they have a man really locked down, but most can't even do that.

Barring some sort of horrible vaginal injury or sickness. Once a woman sees she can keep you around without even giving you the sugar or scraps, they lose respect for you and attraction.

Long term it's likely better to move on than fix at your age.

You're at danger of coasting through your 20s. Because it's easier not to confront this. Focus on yourself and your ambitions, and use her for free rent while you have to and move on. And by move on I mean both where you live and who you bang.

What's the purpose of a relationship with a person not interested or concerned in your needs.

edit: read about your hard luck spell, Covid. But this is good news too. You almost got tethered to a woman who is going to bail on you at major setbacks. Plan and Eject. but do Eject.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-21T10:43:45+00:00

Yes or have an open relationship where you can get new ass.

detraxx22 · 2022-07-21T11:56:27+00:00

Been there and know how it feels. The reason is most likely that she is not emotionally connected to you anymore, so either try to recover the relationship for a few months by trying your best to seduce her or gtfo.

I tried option 1 myself and it didn't succeed so we broke up but I feel much better knowing that I did everything I could.

Jasonhardon · 2022-07-21T12:23:20+00:00

If you wanna go then go

moistmonkeymerkin · 2022-07-21T12:30:59+00:00

You should definitely break up.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-07-21T13:03:53+00:00

Truth is yes. But its not going to be easy. Life is too short. And its not fair to you or her if this is how you really feel.

ProductivityMonster · 2022-07-21T13:35:30+00:00

No sex, no relationship. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Sex should be pretty frequent in your 20's and 30's, especially with no kids. If it's not, there's something very wrong. I see you say you've tried talking with her a number of times and she just shuts you down. I'd leave unless you want to stay a little longer for free rent to save up for a house down payment.

quietsam · 2022-07-21T13:56:03+00:00

It’s over. Leave.

DarthBroker · 2022-07-21T14:02:15+00:00

Unfortunately, most relationships get into a some kind of lull.

However, if I was having sex less than 3 times a week, I would leave.

Your young...you only really have to ask yourself one question:

Are you going to marry her -- yes or no?

If yes, try to figure it out

If no, leave

We men really know deep down if a woman is worth marriage or not. That is the only way in which I would try to repair this.

runaround_fruitcop · 2022-07-21T14:49:27+00:00

4 years? Do you genuinely love this person?

It seems you're just looking for a way out to get laid.

If the problem is lack of sex

Talk to her about it

And don't act entitled.

"Having intimate moments with you, like sex, is how I feel loved. Is there anything we can do to make your libido higher/get you hornier (etc)?"

I had an ex who would make it seem like it was my fault even though I was going through a lot of problems.

And he put so much pressure on the idea of sex it made me extremely anxious about sex vs excited about it.

In my experience, a lot of men have sex to become happy/feel better

But women have to be happy and feel good to have sex.

Ie when I wake up in the morning and he tries to immediately fuck to start his day, I would like to but I wanna brush my teeth, shower or rinse off, coffee, wake up a bit and then enjoy it.

notLOL · 2022-07-21T15:49:52+00:00

You can seduce her. She's a woman so it'll work

Jin-Sun-Mi · 2022-07-21T16:25:16+00:00

Oh wow you sound like a moron

alwaystostadas · 2022-07-21T16:32:08+00:00

It sounds like you made up your mind. But 4 years is a long time, I would honestly sit down and think about the decision you’re about to make. Maybe give yourself a due date for whatever you decide.

Velociraptor2018 · 2022-07-21T16:36:14+00:00

Have you talked with her about it?

hancockcjz · 2022-07-21T16:41:50+00:00

Seems like you want to

If you do just do it. Dont stick around just to save paying rent that's not a classy move.

Shanbaceball · 2022-07-21T16:42:39+00:00

Been with my bf 7 years. Still having sex 3 times a week and he still walks around with a raging boner. Something is likely bothering her we like sex just as much as you do so make it up to her and be the great bf your cut out to be

cobraCL · 2022-07-21T16:44:16+00:00

A dead bedroom relationship is painful to be in, but intimacy problems are always a two-way street.

From your replies, it feels as if you have long mentally checked out of the relationship and are fantasizing about lining up "options" and living a non-monogamous lifestyle.

I would usually recommend communication, courtship, re-bonding and even couple's therapy but if your heart isn't in it it's best not to waste your time or her's. Break up with her and live the life that would make you happiest. All the best.

SgtSplacker · 2022-07-21T16:50:19+00:00

Sex is part of the relationship. If she feels she can withdraw that part maybe you should withdraw the fidelity part..

Title	Should I break up with my girlfriend?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	87
Comments	100
Date	July 21, 2022 7:00 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w49w8a/should_i_break_up_with_my_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-break-up-with-my-girlfriend.1253940 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253940

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