[deleted by user] | seduction

[–]Daunt02 164 points165 points166 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]willgo-waggins 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait until later that day. Then return the message in a manner that implies you didn’t get hers until then (it needs to be like LATE afternoon - 3-4 or later) and that you were just waking up from last night because it was “crazy”. Imply but do not be specific. Let her wonder if you went home with someone else but do not state that or deny it just work around if the question comes up. “We went to some other friends place and partied there with a bunch of people, I can barely remember because we were drinking a lot” type of thing. Use what you know works best for you and with her.

Don’t send a bunch of messages or continuously reply. One response. Let her wig out and send you a few before you respond again - later not immediately.

Make her come to you and prove her seriousness and not allow yourself to be treated like option B or C or whatever. Let her think that is where she is.

Also this behavior makes me ask - what makes her a 10/10 girl? Because that crap with me puts her automatically down the scale as my scale is NOT at all based simply I’m looks/body, but also who she is across the board. It is subjective. We can obviously all agree on basic beauty factors with a truly knockout looks girl. But my 10/10 and yours can be two very different things based in what we each find attractive qualities beyond the looks.

[–]razama 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]razama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Moxiecodone 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Moxiecodone 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The context is she flaked on him (wasted his time), then ‘hung out’ for 5 minutes, and then had the audacity to hit him up at 6am asking where he was. She is just using him when she feels like it instead of committing to spending any time with him. It sounded as if they were going to hang out, but she clearly didn’t care. He is just a source of attention when she beckons. So, him not responding and moving on with his life - talking to other people, going to another party, etc.. is letting her know that he is not going to play along. It sets a boundary because what you respond to, you’re validating. He is not waiting for sex, he is not hoping she comes around, he has detached from what she was doing and left her alone. The intent is not for her to now come around and them to have sex now, because that’s not someone IN GENERAL that is worth his undivided attention and time. However, because it is a message that says ‘I respect myself and my time more than this’ - it could make him more appealing to her. It may not, she may just drop it, but that doesn’t matter because that’s not why you act this way. So, this interaction isn’t about increasing his odds of having sex although it might. It’s about increasing his self respect and that is something that will eventually gain respect from others, including women he will want to be with.

If he decides to respond later, it’s just treated as another conversation without a specific intent and if she acts differently that time because of his behavior previously - the opportunity to fuck could open up again..

Saying and doing things that increase YOUR self respect, like setting boundaries or not responding to bullshit, makes your entire life better and increases how attractive you are IN GENERAL. The intent isn’t that you will always line up a sexual experience with someone. It’s about creating a relationship with the opposite sex where you are valuable in your own eyes, so you don’t simp for some hot piece of ass which won’t get you laid anyways.

There’s no guarantee you’ll always get sex, but increasing your odds comes secondary when you increase your value and standing in your own eyes.

The alternative is he could have immediately responded and been like, ‘omg I’m so sorry I missed your text. I thought you didn’t want to hang out because you came by for 5 minutes and then just left. What are you up to?!’

Or whatever, the reason is any moves except moving on was him accepting her flakey and superficial behavior.

Don’t text her back NOW because she didn’t act right.

Text her, MAYBE, if you even care to, LATER.. at no predetermined time - just to chat. If she acts differently, for example apologizing, then an opportunity reopens. But you don’t put stock in her now.

So the context and the order does matter. It’s not about gaming every single interaction to get laid and timing it out so it 100% happens.

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[–]immatonton 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago* (97 children) | Copy Link

You’ll eventually meet girls who make it a little (lot) easier. Some go a little too far with the cat and mouse act, I think.

If I express intent and pushing things forward and you keep pulling back, I’m going to look elsewhere, because you have it twisted in thinking that I’m not the prize, because I am, or at least that’s how I feel.

You have to look at yourself as someone who is worthwhile to be around and girls should be happy that you’re talking to them. I posted it here a week or so ago, but “confidence is attractiveness.” If you believe it, so will they, and, if not, move on, because other people gladly will.

Someone in your case, it’ll help for you to act like you’re not a virgin and that you have a selection of girls to choose from/you have no trouble getting women, because then they’ll believe that is the case too. It’s a thing called pre-selection, implying to women that “oh, he gets girls, so there must be something good about him, let me find out too.”

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (96 children) | Copy Link

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[–]chemicalmamba1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

We don't know the answer. We don't know the details of who you are or what you are doing or not doing.

The general advice most people have is to be confident. If you are desperate for sex it will definitely leek out into your interactions with women and probably keeps them from wanting to have sex with you. One of my friends had like no experience even talking to women in college. So he went out of his way to just get used to that. He joined coed groups, became a mentor in a group meant to help women get into his STEM area of expertise. Now I think he's doing well for himself. The thing is you can't join and be angling to hook up with girls at these things, because that is insincere. He joined and did not want to hook up with them. To my knowledge he hasn't. This is something that helped him gain confidence with women. So maybe if you keep doing you're salsa club and don't hit on women you'll feel more confident. Idk man.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]chemicalmamba2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]chemicalmamba1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There are lots of different ways attractiveness can be evaluated. Working out a lot and making money might be one way to seem attractive, but if you're staring down women's shirts, can't get a sentence out, or are otherwise boring then you are unattractive in those ways. We're all tryna tell you that being more well rounded will make you more attractive overall.

Overall, we don't know the answer. We don't know you. Maybe nothing we say will work. Maybe there is some crucial detail we don't know. We're just saying what worked for us. Additionally, even if this stuff doesn't work, it might help you enjoy your life more.

There is no formula because women are unique individuals with multidimensional personalities and lives. We can't generalize nor predict nor should we. All we can say is what worked for us, and generally that has to do with just improving our lives and selves independent of women. I'm sorry we can't be more helpful. Its counter intuitive and frustrating because of this lack of formula. Getting mad at us won't help and neither will getting mad at women.

I havent been able to get into a longterm relationship and it's been eating at me for all of my adult life. It's hard to feel like you aren't getting what you want. I'm sure we all feel it.

[–]chemicalmamba1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Trust me I understand. I've wondered the same thing. The point is you become more attractive to women if you are a more well rounded person. For example, my friend who couldn't get anywhere with women learned how to talk to them as people and was more successful when he did try and find women to date. I've always had a lot of female friends so I'm good on dates and good at getting girls to hook up with me...but my desperation to be in a relationship is what kills that part lol.

Think of it this way. If you are a girl...do you wanna fuck the guy you seems like all he's tryna do is have sex with you? He can't string together a sentence that doesn't seem to try to get you into bed, and he's not that interesting because all he thinks about is sex. Does that sound appealing? Or does someone who seems at ease with you, doesn't seem desperate, has hobbies and friends and a fulfilling life...that sounds better, doesn't it?

Make friends at events without trying to hook up with them. Those friends might be able to give you advice, set you up, or just make you happy with their friendship.

[–]willgo-waggins1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I have - over the past almost five years - hooked up with, dated, had a LT relationship with (year and a half) and am still FWB’s with over two dozen women from my Meetups social group. I have never yet walked in to the group social events (they are NOT hookup groups at all just social activities groups for adults) with the intention of scoring tail or a GF.

I go with the intention of hanging out with friends and having a fun time and enjoy the activities. Of making new friends and connections. I go with the knowledge and confidence of being in a comfortable environment and I PROJECT this aura. I don’t overheat or be an assertive ass. I am always participatory and helpful and generous (I am very good friends with the organizer and host events often and help her out both financially and working to help mount the events on) doing things like hosting the group at the local favorite live band spot and reserving us a private area to gather at my own expense.

The results speak for themselves. Women come to me. They are attracted anyway but I have made myself a man of value and a desired partner both sexually and more.

You keep telling everyone that they aren’t answering your questions but you aren’t telling us how YOU are acting when you approach that is resulting in continuing failures.

I have to speculate though by your responses all being very negative, smart ass and sarcastic that you are likely projecting an incel attitude of blame of the women and are running them off by projecting that shit on approach or conversation. Women smell that crap across the room.

[–]chemicalmamba2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]maplemario3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You're massively missing the point here

You don't leave them on read forever when you leave them on read

You leave them on read until you have something relevant to message them about. Figure out how to find things to message women that are relevant to both of you and show at least some kind of value. If you know she's into fitness, send her a video of yourself doing something impressive. If you know she's into wellness, send her a nice pic of a healthy meal you made. If you're both into fucking LEGO star wars, and you make a lego replica millennium falcon, send her that. That's the crucial next step that makes the "leaving people on read" advice actually work.

Notice he only saw her message in the morning after having a great time and leaving - there's ZERO point in texting her back then unless you have something valuable or relevant to say and intend to start a new convo. The moment had already passed.

[–]willgo-waggins1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This here is EXACTLY the correct point!

I literally just did this five minutes ago.

I had a woman who we had a serious mutual interest and good thing going on. I had left her in read for a week two weeks in a row. She is Christian and I am not. So she is super into the big family (she has young adult kids and one grandchild from her oldest) Christmas extravaganza and has claimed being really busy. I don’t see that as an excuse for not even sending a little ten second “how are you” type thing so I sent her to the read pile while I’m okay with other possibles. Today is her birthday so I sent a happy birthday/guess you’ve been busy/or if you aren’t interested let me know text because she did respond after the first week gap. But that’s it. No more from me but a delete from my phone if she either doesn’t respond or blows it off with some lame response because I have a number of other possibles (including the one that spent the night with me last night and a different one coming over tonight) to work on who aren’t too busy at Xmas to work in communication and a get together.

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Maybe I’m the minority opinion but I don’t think you’re exactly in the right based off what you said in this post. 1) it was clear from the get go that she was going out with a bunch of her friends to a nightclub. She messaged you and was obviously drunk. This was never a date or suppose to be one on one time. This is her going out with friends…your time was not disrespected because you decided to go 2) she danced with you so there was obviously interest. Again, she was out with friends in a night club and she doesn’t know you romantically. Of course she didn’t keep dancing with you…she was probably just moving with her friends 3) it is up to you as the guy to escalate- you obviously didn’t do that and now for whatever reason you feel disrespected.

I think you’re wasting an opportunity- I’d personally go out with her….but if you’re going to blow it because you had a false perception of what last night was going to be about, go for it.

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Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	194
Comments	193
Date	December 24, 2021 4:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rnq6w8/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1270332 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270332

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