Seriously.

I'm a lurker, post-hoarder, up-voter, etc, etc, on this board. I've been mining tips and tricks for "the big moment": when hell freezes over and there's no choice but to approach in the cold.

But, this isn't a post about my cold approaches. I didn't do that tonight.

What did happen? I started going to yoga classes over the weekend. Tonight was my third one. It was sparsely attended. During the end-of-session Zen in the Dark, I let my thoughts freely enter my mind. I remembered a friend explaining anthro-furs (don't ask) to me the other day. I had to fight pangs of amusement while three other women meditated silently to the chime of Tibetan singing bowls. It was the best-worst feeling I've had in recent memory.

Two of the three women were 20+ years older than me. The one in my age group had a wedding ring on her finger. No tail was won at yoga.

I walked out of the yoga lesson. The weather was clear, in stark contrast to the monsoon I braved to get to the studio. I was planning to visit a hipster bar after the lesson-- until the rain started. I abandoned that hope. I left my "presentable" change of clothes at home on purpose. I would go to my lesson and then go home. Tuesday was canceled.

But, the sky was clear when I emerged from the studio. "Fuck it-- I'm going to that hipster bar, " I told myself. After all, r/seduction says to just fucking go out. Exist in public. Even if nothing happens, you are exploring unknown territory so that it may be mapped, familiarized, and used to your advantage for subsequent visits. So, yes: I went straight to the bar in Adidas track pants, a band shirt, and "athletic style" steel-toe shoes. I was head-to-toe in black. I probably looked like a stick of licorice.

I didn't care. "Just fucking go out."

I get to the bar. There are two nerds sticking out like sore thumbs, engaged in a heated discussion about the ethics of the Rebel Alliance going on suicide missions in Star Wars. "At least I'm not one of those guys," I said to myself. I order a beer. The waitress seems disheartened to have to serve me. Fair enough, I asked for the beer with the weirdest name on the menu. BUT, at least I'm not raising my voice in public about Star Wars.

I sit outside, alone, and sip on my beer. I have a few text conversations going. I've been there for 20 minutes, and expect to leave after accomplishing my goal to just fucking go out. Then, a guy comes over to my table. "Is this seat taken? Do you mind if I sit here?" I invite him in. We make introductions and start to talk.

The guy is dating one of the bartenders (not the one who begrudgingly served me), but he doesn't know anyone at the bar. We don't have time to share pleasantries-- he identifies my hobbies immediately and we get into a deep discussion. Two hours elapse. We've made a solid connection. He's determined to be a wingman for my inexperienced self, but I have to leave. I have a physically demanding job to attend in the morning, a yoga class after my shift, and a decent amount of alcohol to sleep off.

I got cold approached-- by another guy! And, THAT is another piece of wisdom found on this forum. Open up. Approach people. Be sociable. Allow for new connections, even if they're not the ones you intended to have.

You can't do that unless you JUST FUCKING GO OUT.

This was my first time going to a bar alone. It was a weekday evening on a hot, humid day. It rained cats and dogs. I had a long day at work. I only got two hours of sleep the night before (my fault for drinking coffee late at night). I had better things to spend money on than $25 worth of craft beer. I had "good reasons" for going to my yoga lesson and going home.

But, I didn't. I just fucking went out. I made a new friend. Maybe he'll be a wingman someday. Maybe he'll just be a new connection. Maybe he was just there to show me that humans are social creatures, like attention, and will respond with baseline culturally-indoctrinated civility when interacted with (unless they're bartenders that don't like sour stouts).

Exit your comfort zone, even if it might be challenging. Live life, even if it might be disappointing. Meet people, even if they don't look like they would connect with you. Take another step on your journey.

Just fucking go out.

EDIT: Since a certain element of the story has become the locus of discussion, I've posted a follow-up comment explaining it in further detail. I encourage you to read it if you're feeling ornery.