[deleted by user]

FlashedBlaze · 2012-12-31T17:13:25+00:00

I didn't want to start since I am on my phone but here it goes (Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes) and I don't have as many FRs as a lot of people here.

A little background, I am a semi-noob. 19 years old. Mostly day games.

I am out at the mall and I see this HB 7. Proceed with the nice earrings line. She smiles and says thanks. Now I was actually doing pretty good. Had some good IOIs going, but I was pretty tense. Then her dad pops out, freaked out and probably did the fastest ejection in the history of PUAs.

Got a girl's # and proceeded to text her.

Her:"Hey FlashedBlaze :)"

I was like that's an IOI when I see one! Calling me by my name and a happy face ^_____^ so at the time I was reading TofuTofu's be direct. So I was like time to cut the bullshit.

Me: Hey, you're an interesting girl. How about a movie tonight?

Her: Umm okay lol? Let me ask my dad.

wtf ask her dad? Whatever lol she agreed to the date

Me: alright just text me when you are ready.

She called me later. Turned out it was my cousin. I texted the wrong Karina.

EricDisco · 2012-12-31T20:46:13+00:00

I was in Barnes and Noble, Union Square, New York City with my wing. I see a cute girl. I walk over to her and say Hi. She's really friendly with me.

After about two sentences of talking, she says, "You wanna get out of here?"

I don't skip a beat and I say sure. I walk over to the escalator with her. I walk past my friend with a little smirk on my face thinking, jesus, I'm da man. I can't believe how fast this is happening.

We're going down the escalator toward the first floor and she says, "Is your car far from here."

I say I don't have a car because I don't. I live in NYC.

She says, "I thought you said you had a car." Her and I had never talked about any car in our short two-minute interaction.

I look at her and see she looks confused. I call it out. "You look really confused."

We get to the bottom of the escalator and she says, "You're not from Craigslist, are you?"

I laugh as she turns around in a hurry and walks off.

imacarpet · 2013-01-01T00:30:39+00:00

Met a really pretty girl in a nightclub. Very pretty eastern european. We got on really well. Didn't go home together.

Next day we texted and arranged to meet up at a cafe. When I got there, there was a really cute eastern european girl sitting there. I didn't know if it was my girl or not.

Thinking... thinking... oh fuck it, lets take a risk...

I went over with a big warm hello. She responded warmly. I sat down with her and chatted. After about 10 minutes she said "Um... do we actually know each other?"

"No we don't. The thing is, I met this really pretty girl last night and arranged to meet here. I couldn't tell if you were her or not, but you are really cute."

She cracks up laughing. My date arrives, I introduce them. I get the new girls number and then leave with my date.

bl1y · 2012-12-31T19:36:20+00:00

I forget exactly how we got on the topic of ties, but I was talking to this girl (a warpig obstacle I was distracting so another guy could hit on her HB10 friend) and said something about having a tie with an M.C. Escher tessellation on it, a bunch of gray and brown penguins. She told me there are no gray or brown penguins, that penguins are black and white. I told her that there are penguins in South America and that they are in fact brown.

Then she gets fucking irate. I've never seen someone get so upset about something so quickly. "South America is hot! Penguins live in Antarctica where it's cold!"

"The southern tip of South America is pretty cold, it nearly reaches Antarctica."

"NO! I'm from Puerto Rico, so I know South America is HOT!"

"Puerto Rico is in North America."

"OH MY GOD! (Loud enough for the entire bar to hear.) I'D RATHER BE AT HOME MASTURBATING THAN STANDING HERE TALKING TO YOU."

"So would I, but even when I go home to masturbate, I'm still stuck talking to me."

She storms out of the bar. Her friends come over, and apologize to me for how drunk and rude her friend was, and they buy me a drink.

iabmob · 2012-12-31T18:36:27+00:00

This happened at summer camp last summer. I hadn't even found Seddit yet and I was trying to learn how to get girls. So it's half way through summer camp and I walk up to this one girl and act all suave and such.

"So, uh... You here for camp?"

cwilo · 2012-12-31T17:02:17+00:00

Hooked up with a chick at a party. Took her to the garden shed, the only place we could find some privacy. It was in the middle of the night and we could not find the lights. Job done, walk back into the house to find everyone staring at me. My fingers, face, white shirt all covered in blood. Bad timing.

thebayway · 2012-12-31T22:53:25+00:00

I wasn't sarging, but headed to a restaurant for a first date. Downtown locale. I was about 100 ft from the front door when my internal dialog is hijacked by a single thought.

"Sphincter calling brain. Come in brain."

"This is brain. Why're you butting in?"

"Because I'm only going to be able to hold in this diarrhea for about 5 more seconds."

I'm not exaggerating about the amount of time. It was one of those 'Oh SHIT!', blood runs cold, drenched in sweat type situations. I took 3 or 4 steps into the alley. Ripped my new pants by pulling them down too hard... and I'll spare you the rest of the details.

After cleaning up in a proper bathroom, the date went fine. It was awkward spitting game without boxers on, and with ripped pants, though. I have a preppy style.

crazmnky90 · 2012-12-31T18:00:48+00:00

Brought this girl I had my eye on for a while back to my dorm room. Hearing my door open and close, one of my floormates came and knocked on my door. I ignored it. He then yelled through the door "so I'm guessing your silence means she didn't spread her legs open and say 'fuck me fuck me fuck me'?"

Completely turned off, the girl left lol. I gave my friend the benefit of the doubt that he thought I came back to the room alone.

ChemicalRascal · 2012-12-31T17:43:36+00:00

Tonight, actually, NYE. Joints are getting tired. Shoulder aches a bit. Too much mad dancing. Felt like stepping out to the patio because inside was an utter sausage fest. And, also, my game was going down the drain.

Would have succeeded in stepping out, if it wasn't for the floor-to-ceiling windows.

smo0rphy · 2012-12-31T20:30:04+00:00

My main dismal failures come from before I got into pickup, but had heard of negging, and consequently had no idea how to do it. I'm sure all of us have these stories, but one time I pretty much called a girl fat, racist and a sad act for drinking in the bar she worked in. Somehow she even approached me again later, playfully asking if I wanted to insult her some more. I was more expecting a slap.

DEVi4TION · 2012-12-31T19:54:12+00:00

My story actually happened this last Friday. I am still very new at all of this so it was one of the first nights I tried actually trying any of the stuff I have read here. The thing I was going to work on tonight was not breaking eye contact, so every person I started or had a conversion with that night I wasn't going to break eye contact first. The night started off pretty well and I only had some slip ups here and there. I actually hit it off pretty well with this HB6 and after awhile all of her friends and my friends end up going to an after party after the bars close. While we are there I'm still trying to keep as much eye contact as I can. After going to the kitchen to get another drink, I come back to the living room and I lock eyes again with the HB6 from earlier. She motions me to come sit next to her on the couch. At this point I probably have drank a little to much, but I head on over to her trying not to break eye contact on the walk over there. Well I try to step over a coffee table, again while not breaking eye contact, my heal hits the edge of the coffee table and I fall flat on my ass spilling every ones drinks on the coffee table all over my self. After my friends help me up I look up and she is no where to be found.

tl;dr Tripped on coffee table while trying to keep eye contact during set.

That is my story, not the greatest but I thought it was worth sharing. I apologize for my horrible gift of bad story telling. :)

the_grim_CREEPER · 2012-12-31T22:49:39+00:00

Shattered her clit ring...she screamed like a dolphin. Took one of the pieces as a souvenir.

For-Teh-Lulz · 2012-12-31T18:49:34+00:00

There was a girl at the bar I was at for karaoke and pool. Chatted her up a bit before I was up to sing, and about half an hour later she storms up to me looking pissed and says, "Either you and me are fucking tonight or I'm leaving right now." I was taken by surprise and started to laugh pretty loudly. She quickly got the hell out of there. It was the first time a girl had ever been that direct to me.

Another time, this guy was trying to attract a woman and I was watching him drown, so when I got the chance I offered him a couple pointers. He wasn't using any kino and was being quite beta. He got mad at me and said, if you think you know how it's done, then you take her! I went and grabbed her hand and puled her on the dance floor. After a couple of spins, smiling eye contact, and some flirty banter, I went in for the kiss and then we left together. The guy wasn't very happy about it, said something like, "She is supposed to fuck meeeee!" as we were leaving. We both got a little chuckle out of that.

2012-12-31T19:08:56+00:00

I was talking to one girl and I found out she was on the softball team. I proceeded to ask "Are you a lesbian?" I found it funny. Then her boyfriend/guy she was with came up to us and I asked him "did you know your girl's a lesbian?"

I was drunk, really drunk.

readonlyuser · 2012-12-31T18:52:01+00:00

Pointing at what I thought was a HB7 across the dancefloor, smiling and gesturing her to come over. She comes over.

EJECT EJECT! Damn dark clubs

AmboC · 2012-12-31T23:44:56+00:00

God damn... so much spaghetti, I love it!

BARNABY_J0NES · 2012-12-31T16:58:27+00:00

Two girls were fighting over a midget outside the bar, then one of them slipped a titty. A saggy baggy National Geographic titty.

Nook201 · 2012-12-31T17:48:11+00:00

I like you guys, but some of these feel like /r/cringe.

rmbarnes · 2013-01-01T01:47:01+00:00

This happened to me last month, i was chatting up a girl that looked in her early 20s (i am 27), then her friends that did looked quite young came and said they have to go they have to go class in the morning, she wants to stay, and i tell her no problems i can take her to class she says yes very exited (FUCK YEAH), as they are leaving, i ask her to which university she is studying... she tells me she is in high-school.

I ask, 3rd year? (senior in here), and she says no just finishing 1st year (junior here) i froze, grab her by the hand and run with her to catch her friends, i give her my "number" and then run away like a mad man.

God damn i hate bars here don't ask Id if the girls are hot...

2013-01-01T02:50:00+00:00

This happened last night, first thing that pops to mind

I was with a couple of mates walking down to get a kick-ass view to watch the Sydney NYE fireworks. On the way there i notice there's 2 cute girls walking behind us so i turn around and open with "Hey guys, my name's X and i will be hitting on you tonight".

They looks bemused and don't respond. I go "Hold on, am I not pretty enough for you?" Still no response. Then from my left i hear some laughter and a 40 year old woman in a group of 4 like her says to me "They don't speak english hun, you picked the wrong girls."

I act offended whilst laughing and make small talk with them until we go our seperate ways.

Not much of a story but i found it funny at the time.

budguy68 · 2012-12-31T17:03:19+00:00

I've done some stupid shit:

Girl "I am Virgina"

Me "well nice you meet you Virgina. Your name reminds me of Vagina"

Girl (looks at me in disbelief) "Walk away!"

Me (trying to change subject) "I like the lights here... they are cool....?"

Girl "Shush! Go away!"

Open 2 set

"Hey you guys look cute and I wanted to talk to you... Hmm trying to figure out which one of you is cutier...."

Girls are actually VERY RECEPTIVE

Can't think of what else to say. SelfEject

Made out with drunk HB8 and shes all over me.

I Started acting all good guy beta . (instead of taking her to the restroom ad having my way with her I said shit like "dont worry I will take care of you. Let me know what you needor if you want water or anything")

At one point I also Dropped my beer bottle and it splashes all over her and her friends

They all looked annoyed, everyone walk away from me

Girl is telling a story to all her friends. Super hot set. I did what I call, ramming the set.

I jumped in and shouted "hey Iam curious. what are you guys talking about?"

Girl: "Who the fuck are you? You ruined my story. Go Away you drunk"

I walked away

pissy looking HB9, height is like 5'3, trying to get though me in crowded area

Me: Ohhh You want to pass?

Her: Yes....!

Me: HAHA.. thats too bad...

HB shoves me to the side like a curtain

(I enjoyed it...)

aapearson · 2012-12-31T23:01:37+00:00

First time comment in this sub-reddit! Hooked up with my now gf on Halloween (2 years ago) and her cousin the next day. Gf spotted her cousin texting me some interesting things while on a date... Made for an interesting conversation!

xenzor · 2013-01-01T10:15:24+00:00

Went back to a girl's hotel room, Turns out her friends had got back from the club before her so we decided the roof top would be a nice place to do the dirty.. Anyway its all over and done with an as i'm walking out the hotel the security on that night said "So you know we have camera's on the roof right ? ". Then turned to the other security guy and they both grinned in a way that told me they watched the whole thing.

DM;HS

Edit: Another one, Met a girl and she said her name was Analese . I said oh ill remember that it sounds like Anal..Yep..

apab · 2012-12-31T22:55:28+00:00

Hook up with a girl at the club, bring her home.

Mid-fuck I notice that there is blood all over the place, but being drunk I kid of ignore it. She doesn't notice till we finish, she freaks out. I just laugh because I have burgundy sheets and blankets so they won't stain noticeably.

2013-01-01T20:11:04+00:00

At a house party where I tried convincing a lesbian friend we should make out. After about an hour of persistence, we made out. All her lesbian friends got really upset with me and told me to stay away from her, because she doesn't swing that way and I was crossing serious boundaries. We had sex immediately after, and she was awkwardly really good at every facet of it.

CestWhatAgain · 2012-12-31T22:41:32+00:00

I'm a lady and occasional sedditor. I work as a barback and get hit on a lot at my job (booze, +staff hotness, have to act nice/fun with everyone, have tits, whatever the reason). Anyway this guy was negging me all night about my undercut haircut (ie one side of my head is shaved). He kept saying things like "you'd look like such a nice girl with a full head of hair" and "you'd be hotter if you didnt have a weird haircut". I just looked at him and said "you'd be such a nice guy if you didn't have a stick up your ass". He laughed it off and bought me a drink.

hiphoprising · 2013-01-01T01:22:25+00:00

After school I sat next to a HB7 in the library. My mouse cord touched her area. Me "oops" Got an awkward stare Got my stuff and walked away from the library.

Attila_TheHipster · 2012-12-31T20:05:20+00:00

Be travelling Finland. Some weird bar in 'alternative' area. Grab a beer, half a liter. Some even weirder chick citing a poem. Grab second glass of beer Sit myself next to couple of girls. Introduce. One is called Tia and the other is called Pia. Tia has dreads. Fuck dreads. I continue with Pia. Kinda locking Tia out of the set, she's sitting on the other side of the table but Pia doesn't mind. I grab another beer before getting back. Friends text me to meet up at another venue. Pia is leaving for some place else as well. We talk some more over some new beers. She asks me if I want her number. Haha yeah, I'd like that. I tell her about how they say goodbye where I'm from. A kiss on the cheek. I give her one and she decides to k-close me on the second one. I back out and say, wow you sure are sneaky. She looks suprised and kisses me on the cheek before leaving.

ALCOHOL. NOT EVEN ONCE.

fuzzyjw · 2013-01-01T00:13:42+00:00

I like this thread ha. Anyways around November I broke my phone and couldn't afford to get a new one till I got paid, during this time I was at a party and talking to this girl and I wanted her number so bad. But I couldn't text/call her for while so I settled and gave her my school email address lol. But I think I gave her the wrong one, haven't heard from her since though :(

ThomasRoll · 2012-12-31T19:45:40+00:00

Took a shit on a sluts face when she was passed out drunk. Also pissed on her.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	172
Comments	167
Date	December 31, 2012 4:05 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15q71q/lets_take_a_break_from_theory_whats_the_funniest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1345094 https://theredarchive.com/post/1345094

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