Sex tips? Things you wish you knew the first time!

BigPhoCup · 2016-12-21T18:26:23+00:00

Depending on how long the session is it might be a idea to have some water or something to drink nearby. Sex can be exhausting.
Don't forget to bring a towel(s). Sex can get messy.
Pee afterwards. UTIs are not fun.

The_Turbinator · 2016-12-21T16:47:48+00:00

The entrance to the vagina is A LOT lower than you think it is. Almost right down by the butholle.

sexualsidefx · 2016-12-21T15:32:57+00:00

Make your place clean.

Spaceman7Spiff · 2016-12-21T15:53:58+00:00

In my experience, most women like to be tossed around and manhandled to some degree. So try to approach the situation like you're in charge. Sex is inherently very animalistic so embrace it. You don't have to do anything crazy but it's certainly not the time to be shy or timid. If you feel like changing positions, don't ask her permission, just move her.

Also, it's very important to relax and try to emphasize your passion or lust for her. Don't try to "do" moves, but rather focus on how you feel about her and then just do what those feelings tell you to do.

TheGodfather_1992 · 2016-12-21T18:43:15+00:00

When in missionary position, put a pillow under her hips to get a better angle. Also, you could ask this question over at r/sex as I believe you'd get better/more answers.

chet11 · 2016-12-21T18:59:18+00:00

Just remember you're not in a porno. The real thing is nothing like porn.

forseti_ · 2016-12-21T15:26:43+00:00

Doesn't matter how shitty the sex really is, you will think it's heaven on earth. So enjoy and do what you like. Also use a condom!

wherearemystripes · 2016-12-21T16:25:57+00:00

Relax. Dont really have expectations. Just explore but respect boundaries. Women have a different sexual experience than men. Its more mental than physical.

adaman360 · 2016-12-21T18:32:12+00:00

Go slow in the beginning. You start pumping away and you're going to be done way too soon.

Also, go down on her and finger her first. It gets her wet and will make her cum easier later on. Foreplay is a good investment of your time. Always.

shmadman · 2016-12-21T23:08:25+00:00

Wear a condom. Especially if she say's "it's ok. I'm on birth control". Only don't wear a condom in a serious relationship (over 3 months) if you both get std tested together. If she thinks you are "weird" for wanting to get tested, that tells you everything. Condomless sex is awesome but worth waiting for. The heightened pleasure from raw dog sex with be negated by the shame and guilt of risking yourself to STDs. 20 minutes of bliss isnt worth an infection or lifelong disease. You will be tempted (and maybe screw up), but the risks are real.
Women dont (necessarily) need to be "banged HARD", but rather it is about consistency. If she is making good noises, dont bang harder, but rather keep the same frequency of thrusting going. She will lose her mind. It's all about the frequency.
Some women need clitoral stimulation to to orgasm. Some women will be turned off if you go for the clit. Just be gentle and let her tell you what she wants. If she doesnt say anything, she can discuss it with you later. Dont ask during sex. Instead of asking what she likes, be open about what you like and open the door to discussing it. Some women are turned off by asking questions in the moment as it kills your perceived role of taking the lead, despite it being the polite thing to do. Let them tell you naturally. Just give off the vibe that you're open to hearing requests.
Dont worry about making her orgasm (because some women have complicated requirements to orgasm and you may be pressuring them). You absolutely want her to enjoy sex and to orgasm. But at the same time you dont want her to feel bad for not being able to because she hasnt told you want gets her off yet. If this is your first time together, you dont want to nerd up the sex with talking. When you two have gone at it 2 or 3 times, she should tell you what she likes. Again, give off the vibe that its ok to talk to u about what she likes. That convo probably isnt appropriate for the first time unfortunately.
In case this isnt obvious, butt holes are off limits. Porn isnt real life. I feel the need to tell you this because I had this conversation with a virgin friend and he asked "when do I go in for anal?". Lol. you dont. Some women (a minority I believe) do indeed enjoy anal sex. But not nearly as fucking much as you were led to believe from porn. A woman who enjoys anal is most definitely an advanced sex haver. The poopster is 100% off limits unless you have discussed it before.
Technically u should be wearing a condom for oral and using a dental dam for when you give her oral. This is what you SHOULd be doing. Unfortunately, I believe a severe minority of people follow this rule and only wear protection for P in V sex. Do what you want, but just know what you technically SHOULD be protecting yourself for oral as well....i never have... but I know I should have been. Using flavoured protection helps.
1. Finally, dont worry about your performance. You first time will probably be hilarious. My first time was literally 20 seconds because I couldnt believe I was actually having sex. The next time was 20 minutes. Dont be self conscious. Enjoy yourself. Make sure she seems comfortable. Have fun. Treat her well after its done. Some women (in my experience) like cuddling afterwards, and denying it is received as offensive "im just a sex object to you!". But at the same time you both should be cleaning up after sex in the bathroom and having a pee to avoid infection as others have mentioned on this thread.
Dont take it too seriously. Its not a big deal as long as you are practising safe sex.

slool4 · 2016-12-21T15:01:48+00:00

Contrary to the other guy in this thread, I STRONGLY SUGGEST you don't tell her you're a virgin, there's a good chance she'll refuse to have sex then. Don't tell her after either, it comes across as beta.

Ideally, though, you'd lose your virginity to a FWB and you'd both be super comfortable.

a_nus · 2016-12-22T00:32:56+00:00

If missionary, eye contact. Fuck her with your eyes too. This isn't limited to having sex.

Hyperion_Dark · 2016-12-21T20:34:02+00:00

Always take the lead as a man. Don't wait or expect her to.

nontoxicreddit · 2016-12-21T15:25:25+00:00

DO NOT MASTURBATE for at least 2 days prior. This will really increase your sexual "aura" and performance... unless you don't last that long which in that case masturbating will help.

If you are nervous, you will have trouble maintaining a boner. Happens to everyone. The more you think about it, the worse it will get. If this happens, tell her she is exhausting you (in a good way) and eat her out. Sex isn't just PIV, its a whole experience, whatever sexual stuff you do is fine. Feel free to go nuts (kiss her everywhere, boob stuff, massage, whatever). Express yourself sexually bro

Don't be creepy about the fact that you are going to have sex. Don't even mention that you are going to have sex. Make her comfortable, create that sexual tension, and start with a kiss. Ideally you make food or a snack, put on some netflix, watch it for like 2 minutes, look at her and say "hey' and kiss her. If she likes you, it really doesn't matter what you do.

Most of all, relax. Almost everyone likes and has sex. Almost everyone "messes up" but most people don't get turned off by that, its a funny moment. Don't take it too seriously, have fun man you can do this

edit: oh yeah, use a fucking condom. No matter what she says, no matter how in the moment you are, just use a fucking condom. Some people with STDs are asymptomatic so she might not even be lying when she says she is clean

wallymart · 2016-12-21T18:39:51+00:00

Tell yourself, if you're a first timer, that you'll have plenty more chances with your partner and that you don't need to have sex with her right before intimacy. That release of pressure will help alleviate any anxiety ridden performance issues.

h4i2tl35s · 2016-12-21T16:23:25+00:00

Only tell her u're a virgin if u end up dating seriously. Use a condom, don't keep pumping like in porn, go slow

Nergaal · 2016-12-21T20:35:06+00:00

She only really cares about your confidence.

chadbrochillout · 2016-12-21T20:34:01+00:00

Just have fun with it, and try not to worry about anything. Enjoy the experience. There's plenty more times it's gonna happen

XeroMotivation · 2016-12-21T14:52:32+00:00

First time?

You might have trouble getting it up. You will probably either cum too fast or not at all. It's going to be pretty average but can still be fun. Loosen up. Don't take it so seriously. Do not expect to be a changed man after having lost your virginity, you will not feel any different.

Do:

Tell her you're a virgin or make it obvious if you are.

Use protection.

Make some noise.

Have fun.

Don't:

Be quiet

Be shy

"Accidentally" put finger in her butthole.

Her first time? Don't:

Be rough, just take it slow.

"Accidentally" put finger in her butthole.

secretmonkeyassassin · 2016-12-22T00:47:12+00:00

For women, sex is much more of an emotional act than it is for men. So engage her emotionally, take the lead, and don't be afraid to just kinda fuck with her for a bit. Something like this usually works pretty good:

"fuck me"
[withdraw]
"you don't tell me what to do. I'm the boss here, you'll get it when I say you deserve it. Now ask me again, nicely..."
"Please fuck me. Please"
[stick just the head in, and go back and forth just like that for a bit]
"Who's the boss here?"
"You are."
[slam it right in, balls deep]
"You damn right."

Blue_Falcon_Killer · 2016-12-21T18:31:18+00:00

Ask her what she likes and to show you what she likes. You will come off as wanting to please her and you do not have to tell her that your still have the v-card.

Tofumaro · 2016-12-21T20:32:04+00:00

Make it a full body experience for her and take your time before the P in V act. If your in a lit room, put a shirt or a sleep mask over her eyes and start gently kissing her from mouth down to her Vagina and eat her out for awhile til she practically begs you to put it in. GL and I hope it's an enjoyable experience for you! <3

t1mman · 2016-12-21T16:45:54+00:00

Take your time, be in the “here and now” and try to focus on what you are doing now. ie: don’t go in your head overthinking everything. Don’t try to be perfect, have fun and LISTEN to the non-verbal cues. Touch, kiss, lick, feel your body with hers, moan, have fun and show it!

Congruenceislife · 2016-12-21T23:03:31+00:00

foreplay. foreplay. and build tension. you'll get better by paying close attention to how she responds, to the point you know when to give it good and when to tease. get this and you will have some amazing sex. Get a FWB or girlfriend that will get you good.

narbilistic · 2016-12-22T02:14:27+00:00

slow and steady wins the race

hcarguy · 2016-12-22T02:49:42+00:00

Take your time, don't rush each part. Relax, this was a big one for me. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and just have fun

Havinsman2 · 2016-12-21T15:51:03+00:00

Don't limit yourself to one position, it's your first time so explore what you do and don't like. Switching around gives me a couple seconds in between and really helps me last for hours. Also keep a bottle/cup of water handy, you are in fact doing lots of cardio.

Cariat · 2016-12-21T22:43:18+00:00

Don't sacrifice stimulating one zone for another if you can help it. Suck her collarbone while you fuck her and pin her hands down with yours. Hit the spots she likes. Sometimes, you'll focus too much on one thing and forget about another thing; this totally happens, but just try to recalibrate and continue. Ymmv, but my exes all loved the "overwhelming" attention every now and again.

The part I wish I knew sooner was that, if she responds particularly well to one thing, don't try to balance out - capitalize instead. She's feeling that spot right now? Make that spot your whole world. And when she cums, don't you dare fucking stop until she says so, or you'll be in so much shit, you might as well should have stopped at foreplay.

yuckyuck13 · 2016-12-21T16:25:30+00:00

Do: use a condom, relax, and especially foreplay. She must be warmed up before penetration.

Don't: shove it in or forget about her.

Your first time most likely be quick, don't worry about that. Be in the moment!

trombone646 · 2016-12-21T16:30:08+00:00

If you're worried about session length, it might be good to have a drink or two before the romp. Don't get drunk or anything, but it takes the edge off, and usually makes this last a bit longer.

Ser-Joe-the-Joe · 2016-12-21T20:18:45+00:00

When you finger a girl make sure you're touch the vagina and not her butthole.

Big_TX · 2016-12-21T23:02:15+00:00

Do cardio earlier that day. It will make everything better and make you last longer. If that isn't posible do it the day before.

Meditation can also help you last longer and regular meditation will let you feel more chemistry.

nobody2000 · 2016-12-22T06:46:51+00:00

If sex is in the cards, and you're at your place or her place, then know that you're in the clear. Know that you're gonna rock, and even if you suck, doesn't matter; had sex*

(Oh yeah, you can fuck it up big-time and not have sex at all. If you act confidently like you're gonna have sex and you're good at it, then you're going to have sex. Even when I was a total AFC, I had one thing going for me - if we were near having sex, I was able to go into autopilot and make it happen. This is because I felt that I had achieved what I needed, and I could reap my rewards. Every moment before that was pure anxiety, but once we were in my house/on the bed/ whatever, I was confident it would happen, so I never got in my own way)

itsjustchad · 2016-12-22T07:55:23+00:00

Don't go buck wild your first time, figure out your stroke length. It can be some serious pain for both parties if you pull out just a little too far and end up not going bach onto the hole from you just came out of, we're talking PAIN.

silkin · 2016-12-22T10:56:58+00:00

Water is not a lubricant.

Psychocist · 2016-12-21T21:40:32+00:00

If you are worrying about the whole thing.. nothing wrong with taking a little viagra.

elgskred · 2016-12-21T18:50:12+00:00

sex isn't about you.

Aeon199 · 2016-12-22T07:18:51+00:00

First you should apologize to all the guys who have never had sex, in particular those guys past 25. And tell 'em "Your chance will come"

And also tell these guys, "I'm just average looking, I'm not a winner, I'm actually socially awkward, have a very small social circle, I have few achievements.. and so, you can eventually have sex too! Some girls don't need very much, just a good connection and that's it!" And I want you to say this, even if it isn't all true for you.

Then and only then are you allowed to proceed.

a_terrible_sound · 2016-12-21T18:00:27+00:00

See if she's OK with you not wearing a condom

Title	Sex tips? Things you wish you knew the first time!
Author	RammerBee
Upvotes	261
Comments	138
Date	December 21, 2016 2:49 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5jk9in/sex_tips_things_you_wish_you_knew_the_first_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/sex-tips-things-you-wish-you-knew-the-first-time.1417412 https://theredarchive.com/post/1417412

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