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Yahazu
[–]YetzirahToAhssiah 97 points98 points99 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How to answer this question:
Don't self-reject.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Craft_feisty 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed mate, currently workign on this myself and realizing that people are different creatures. Each and every one of us. What works for one woman is different for another and what not. Also extend to if something doesn't work out, sometimes you can't really know what happened or what to do about it.
[–]Chabubu -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask the same woman out 20 times but change into taller shoe lifts each time.
+1 for science.
[–]Casanova-Quinn 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In general, height only matters to the extent that women prefer men who are taller than them. So whatever your height is, you'll typically have the most success pursuing women who are at least 1-2" shorter than you. That's the key point. All the details about "how much taller" are arbitrary.
[–]vbcbandr 64 points65 points66 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Height matters...from a 5'4" guy. Any women who says it doesn't is lying. I especially like the women who say, "I won't date a guy who is under 6 feet", but is 100lbs overweight herself.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
As an immigrant to North America, one of the things I've observed and pretty much all my other immigrant friends (men & women) agree on is the entitled nature of North American people. This is a generalization, not everyone is entitled. That being said the number of entitled people -- particularly women in dating -- is astonishing.
[–]LemonSauxe 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What hurts my head the most is the stupid articles that correlate height with wages and health. First of all as a latino immigrant I see that a majority of foreigners work minimum wage jobs. So no shit lots of them aren't 6' Dutch men and women barely making livable wages. Stupid shit like these articles are meant to discourage men that if they're not tall enough they won't make the same as their counterpart tall workers. News Flash! Theres more then one way to make money and theres more than just height that gets you a good promotion! I'm proud to be a short male. Shit where I come from most kids dont get to see their adult years, but it's so stupid seeing how fixated everyone is on such a stupid generalization.
[–]autist_advice 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That being said the number of entitled people -- particularly women in dating -- is astonishing.
I actually talked to a hapa guy in one of my Meetup groups about this exact thing. He said while in Bangkok, he was scheduling two or three dates a day, to the point where he was just ditching girls because his schedule was too tight. Now here in the American Southwest, he found the scenery to be dry both literally and figuratively.
Other subreddits I'm a part of reported better results swiping in Latin America (sans Argentina), Eastern Europe, and Asia compared to the U.S.
I've got no idea what's in the water here, but while you absolutely can have a fulfilling dating life, understand that American girls will make you work for it.
[–]Sarcastic-betty 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
That’s fair. And harsh. But true.
On the other side of the coin, as a 6’ tall woman myself I have “average” height dudes excluded from wanting to date me. So turnabout and all that shit
[–]No-Pay9075 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
that sucks. Speaking for myself, I don't ever try to hit on tall girls, but it's not because I don't find tall girls hot. I do! It's more that I assume there's no way in hell she'd want to hook up with a guy shorter than her.
[–]Sarcastic-betty 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well that’s MY opinion or preference. But I know there are tall ladies who don’t see any big deal about it. So don’t let that stop you. You never know right?
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You have a comment on this thread saying you much prefer dating guys taller than you. That would make the shorter dudes right in assuming you probably wouldn’t want to date them, no?
[–]Sarcastic-betty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep
[–]Stormbreaker_98 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gotcha!!😂
[–]vbcbandr 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sure that can be challenging also.
[–]throwayyyallday 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know if it’s true. “Height matters”. If this statement means “height means something to some people” yes. This is true.
As a short guy (5’ 5.5”) let me offer another perspective though. If someone wonders if “height matters” I would say no it does not. It doesn’t “matter” at all to me. Because I can’t change it. My height is meaningless to me because of this.
But hey that’s just me. Thats how I’m choosing to tackle it and It works most of the time tbh. I’m insecure about a lot of things but for some reason my height isn’t high up on that list. I just know I was born this way, my height has nothing to do with “me”. I view height as relative. And anyways I find it hilarious that humans put so much stock in mere feet and inches of difference. It’s like narcissism of small differences to me.
I see so much negative self talk about height from my short bro’s on reddit and I just wanted to show it’s not the only way. I promise you that the number of inches you are above the ground does not matter.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Great perspective, but wouldn't you be frustrated if some gorgeous girl with whom you have chemistry and lots of things in common rejects you because of something you can't change. How mentally to deal with that?
[–]throwayyyallday 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh I’m sure that would be... but I feel like if my height really was an issue it wouldn’t get very far in the first place
Edit: Not really sure what I’d do. Probably just move on. Even though it would likely hurt I know you can’t just get hung up on one. Theres one out there that won’t care and has the same values I do. That really goes for anything you could be hypothetically rejected for
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True
[–]Dudeman1000 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she’s rejecting me based on height then there’s definitely no chemistry, IMO.
[–]Narcan9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe she rejects the tall guy too because she doesn't like his eye color 🤷♂️ or he doesn't make enough money. Oh well, focus your effort on women who are interested in you.
[+]Lucid_Nights -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How can all women be the same in thought on height? That is statistically impossible. I am taking offense because you say I am lying when I say I do not care if a man is short or shorter than me. I am dating a man that is 5'3" and he is wonderful. Scrappy and wonderful <3
[–]throwayyyallday 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Coming from a shorter guy. I can answer this question right now. Here’s the bottom line. You can’t change it so it doesn’t matter.
I didn’t even read this cuz I don’t have to. No offense OP. It just doesn’t matter to me. just being real for my short bro’s on here. I don’t give a shit about the stats. I’m short and I barely think about it. That’s the only mindset you can have.
[–]Yahazu[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
None taken.
This post was mainly intended for the guys using the excuse of "I can't get a date because of my height."
The data clearly shows that height is not this big handicap we need to be insecure about.
Small correlations and effect sizes despite what women say. No correlation between total dates and height.
To me, that's really encouraging shit, so I thought it was worth sharing.
[–]throwayyyallday 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I see. I kinda scanned your post a bit ago and I read your edit. I see the numbers are encouraging anyways! So we agree I just feel like even without the numbers, we just gotta stop putting so much stock into how many inches we are above the ground. You know? Idk man I just feel like it’s so ridiculous sometimes and any modern thinking person wouldn’t judge someone so harshly for a physical attribute made by genetics they couldn’t control.
Sorry I’m kinda rambling I’m just upset that this is such an issue today. We all know human insecurity is probably at an all time high due to social media... i feel like a stoic mindset really is the answer to insecurities like this. You just have to say fuck it. My height doesn’t matter. What matters is who I am, my values and how I carry myself. Anyone that scoffs at that is just stupid (like seriously and honestly dumb) and a waste of our time. And believe me the les it matters to you the short person, the less it will matter to others.
[–]earsurgery9 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
simple answer: it matters if it matters to her. Not all girls have the same tastes
[–]Lucid_Nights 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you! Not all women are the same. My current bf is 5'3" and an inch shorter than me. I have no issue with it. Our mouths are closer together so I don't have to tiptoe and its wonderful.
[–]yuckyuck13 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Height helps, just like being in good shape does. Height is not a choice but working out is. But at the end of the day neither is why she chooses to stay with you, it's your personality and what you have in common. Work on what you can change not what you can't.
[–]Ohhhwordddd 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You can be ugly but if your tall you have a better chance then the shorter guy.
[–]bittr_n_swt 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I disagree. I’ve seen plenty of short guy/tall guy friendship where the short friend pulls more
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
He said that if the tall and short guys are both ugly then the taller one has more chances.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LemonSauxe 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reddit and Twitter are the worst with this height crap and it only seems to be getting worse. I see kids on tik-tok talking about how they hope they keep growing so they dont become those short guys girls talk about not wanting to date. I'm the same height as you and it never bothers me in the real world, but to see how fixated people are on such a stupid subject hurts my head. And now there is "scientific articles" on height and correlation with wages. Give me a break. It's called being a man picking up your fucking balls and finding a way to make passive income and standing up for who you are. Its just sad at this point.
[–]JMichelleK 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it seems like everyone who claims that being short doesn’t let them get laid are probably actual buttholes and that’s the problem . As a girl I’ve dated guys a couple inches shorter and never had an issue besides personalities
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As a man 4 inches over 6 ft, I know my size gave me an advantage. As far as whom I dated, I've always found it odd that women under 5 and a half feet tall were my main pool. Always wanted to date a taller women, never really had an opportunity, until I met "the one." My wife is 5 ft 9in, tallest I think I have ever been with.
[–]Course_giver 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As long as you have game and know how to use it properly and believe in yourself have confidence and work hard on your personal -development this shouldn't matter
[–]BulletReaper 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Of course height matters. Just like to a man, a woman’s looks matter.
Yeah it sucks we have no control over it but so what? The average women is like 5’4. If she says she only dates guys over 6ft then guess what?
She’s a shallow pos and I wouldn’t want to date her anyways. Take it as dodging a bullet when a girl rejects you simply for your height. There are plenty of good women out there who don’t care. I’ve dated and slept with plenty of women taller than me.
[–]Lucid_Nights 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To some people those things matter. To others personality matters more. But I agree... if a person is shallow why would you want to date them?
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’ve done large surveys on this in the past; both on height and ideal body type.
Height:
Women want to wear heels and be shorter than you. This means height is of course relative to her height The formula for this is basically:
Mans height - 6in heel = woman’s height.
On my survey, the common ideal height was 6ft and almost all these women were 5’6 so it made sense.
Then picking their brains, being taller felt masculated, they don’t feel feminine, they feel like they’re the guy in the relationship, they feel unattractive and Unattracted to to the guy.
Body type:
Asked men using 5 cropped torso images of mens body:
1) skinny 2) lean like a swimmer 3) dad bod 4) ripped (sub 8% body fat) 5) fat
I asked men what they thought women thought was the ideal. Men chose ripped.
The logic is that men like bikini models and who is the bikini model hanging off? The ripped dude.
When asking women, the most popular was lean.
Contrary to what men thought, the ripped body was described as
1) gross 2) spends more time in the gym than with me 3) would attract too much competition 4) only good for a ONS 5) scary, he could hurt me (doesnt feel safe) 6) makes her feel insecure or her body because he’s in great shape and she’s not (insecure, feeling judged) 7) obsessed with his looks like a girl 8) not cuddly
The ripped look actually fell into 4th place if I remember correct.
Many of the comments was basically summed as this:
“I want to feel smaller than him”
This goes parallel to the height rationale as well. Women want to feel feminine and sexy. Being bigger than the guy seems to inhibit this.
[–]KillerBBQSaucyQueen 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A 6-inch heel is absurd in real life. If your woman is only buying 6-inch heels, she’s a stripper, and you probably never look at her shoes in the first place.
[–]throwMeAwayTa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They were saying the woman wanted to wear heels AND have the guy be taller , so while it wasn't presented well, we can presume that 6 inch includes both the heels and a height difference.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, but this was not about anything more than “ideal”
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Supine we are pretty much the same height.
you'll be fine As long as your boner is taller than her tits.
[–]FlanneryODostoevsky 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol man. It aint THAT seriois
[–]MathematicianSuper58 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Seriois”
[–]FlanneryODostoevsky 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excuse my french
[–]DarkSun18 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To me it matters somewhat. Perfect height would be slightly taller than I. If he is too tall, I’d find that worse than if he were shorter than I. But if I love his personality then it matters less.
[–]MathematicianSuper58 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Bro height doesn’t matter at all I have friends that are like 4,11 pull bitches height doesn’t mean shit the ONLY thing that matters is approach and energy point blank
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What about looks?
[–]MathematicianSuper58 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not at all
[–]Sarcastic-betty 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Gotta say I appreciate the question and thorough research and data.
That said - I’m 6’ tall woman so IT MATTERS A FUCKING LOT. I’ve dated “short”, “tall”, and “damn dude tall” and there is an awkwardness that arises when he’s shorter than me. Can’t be helped.
Edit ffs I put “ rather than ‘ initially and that made the comment so much funnier.
[–]GuaranteeOwn5108 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m 6’4 and a lot of the time when I come across women around your height the attraction is very apparent. It can be very obvious that she would like to talk…. It’s great.
[–]Sarcastic-betty 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hahahahah oh YEAH. I see someone like you and I’m all over you like old gum on a shoe. You could literally be a hobo and I’d be like “he’s still finding himself it’s fine”
[–]GuaranteeOwn5108 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha, that’s hilarious. Women can be so delusional when they see something they want. I’m a go with the flow surfer/hippy type and when a I meet women they don’t seem to be focused on my situation but instead become fixated on my potential like i’m going to change… I’m not, i’m just going to keep surfing. Women love losers, I don’t know what it is.
[–]DakiAge 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Height is a matter of preference for women so it's no different than building muscles.
It's a bonus rather than a reason.
Self-confidence > all
[–]confidence_man91 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm 6'1 and I've never really had girls swoon over my height, they usually complement other things about myself but I've never heard a girl be like I love how tall you are, to me it seems that height only matters if you're shorter than her. that's all
If she asks how tall you are, ask her how much she weighs
[–]thelambofdeth 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm 6'3 and womem dgaf. It's all about your face. That's more important.
[–]thiccasabricc_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As a short dude with a nice face (above average but probably nothing more) I would suggest it's a combination of both
[–]thelambofdeth 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ofc it's a combination of both, but as a 6'3 guy with crap face, looks are more important. A girl would take a good-looking short guy over a ugly tall guy.
Not even
What?
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Ask Tom cruise. Dude is barely 4 feet tall.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Short people can overcome their deficit to a degree, if they are incredibly handsome, incredibly famous and incredibly wealthy. Thanks!
[–]covidified -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Except he doesn't overcome it. Not since Top Gun have I heard a woman gush over or ogle Tom Cruise
[–]Lucid_Nights -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or you know just personable...
[–]AnswersWithAQuestion 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These examples are always so frustrating when used to counter an observed generalization.
Observation: Most guys under 5’6” will have a much more difficult time getting a first date than most guys over 5’6”.
“Counterpoint”: Here’s an example of exactly one guy who is below 5’6” and doesn’t have that problem. Observation refuted!!
[–]bboyFred21 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never seen a woman with a man that is shorter than her... I am 30 yo
[–]calycostyle -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m 5’6 the struggle is real
[–]Jamiepappasatlanta 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Height matters to me. My ex was 5’6”. I’ll never date a short shrimpy man again.
[–]screamfuckdie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
so the average american womans 'minimum height' for a guy, is above the average height for a make in the us. nice.
You guys have too much time
It matters a bit cause girls see height or a guy taller than them as a big sexual plus so you can look her in the eyes when you’re fucking her and or she will always see you as the dominant one when you’re tall but you also have to be strong and you have to act dominant. Short guys can also get girls -~
I would look at it as height affects the size of one's pool of potential mates. Generally a taller guy will have more women to choose from. However, Most guys have a potential dating pool that's far larger than they will ever have time to exhaust.
it's just one of many factors that have similar effects: personality, body type, fitness, facial attractiveness, fashion, intelligence, career, money.
Why focus on the one thing you have almost no control over?
[–]Nouseriously 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In online dating, height matters a lot since women will set a minimum height & won't even see anyone under it.
In person height matters to some women but not nearly as much. No one is turning down Brad Pitt because he's not 6'. Scott Caan is only 5', 5" and most women would gladly go out with him.
Take care of the things you can control: stay in shape, dress well, and be interesting.
Doesn’t matter at all tbh
[–]VivoTivo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It should matter to her , but not to you.
If you think it matters to you, work on ur inner game.
[–]Sitchnatio 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How bad is 174cm?
[–]thiccasabricc_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's great, women won't be attracted by your height (uneless They're extremely short) but no woman woll ever reject You because You're too short
[–]thelogbook 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
now please do a post on length and another on girth
[–]SteneoX 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
min. height =69! I knew it. 😉
[–]Appropriate_Ad3327 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No shit. Ofc height matters, it helps more than looks
It matters just as much as any other physical or personal quality you have
[–]Godletrich 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me: cries in 5'4
I'm six foot three inches tall... almost 40 years old, never had a girlfriend. Doesn't mean a fucking thing.
It’s too superficial to really care about
[–]faisalnazzal3 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Could have told you this without you having to research this much. In my opinion I think your conclusion is common sense and all this research is a big waste of time. In fact any research into dating is a waste of time. If you ask anyone that has researched game they would tell you that they learnt what they know by actually putting themselves out there. Same could go for this. If you actually put yourself out there you would figure these things out. Research to this level makes you look like a creep unless this was a study you was interested in or something.
Saying ur too short means ur just handicapping urself. My friend who’s only turned 18, not the best genetics and being 5’3 is probably the biggest player out of our group going on. And we’re all pretty confident about our ability to do so.
[–]SomeRespect 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Carry yourself as a man who is taller than you actually are. End of story. (Probably more difficult to show this through online dating though)
Idk I don’t care about height. A lot of my friends don’t either.
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