Is there anyone here with a 4/10 physical appearance who manages to date women (regulary) with a 7.5/10 or higher physique? What’s your secret?

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-04-24T21:00:59+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

saryiahan · 2025-04-23T22:09:28+00:00

Big balls

immachu1986 · 2025-04-24T00:14:30+00:00

Nothing is more attractive to a woman than confidence.

Nothing is more repulsive to a woman than insecurity.

razama · 2025-04-23T23:51:54+00:00

There’s another post on Reddit today, speaking about women being attracted to their spouses. You’ll notice the comments will say that they’re still attracted to their spouses, even after they’ve been married for a long time because it was never really about the physical appearance.

After a nasty break up, I recently got into a lot better shape, but I’ve had a lot less attention from women because I’m simply less interested in being “on” for them. So unlike women, unattractiveness isn’t a deal breaker for men.

If you want to get a date or attraction or even a hook up, it’s all about logistics and confidence that demonstrates non-neediness. If you want a wife, it’s about validating that confidence yourself and showing that it’s not just all talk, but you really do go around with purpose and intentionality during your day while being emotionally mature enough to handle stress without using your girlfriend as a therapist.

I’m only 5 foot five and when I was over 200 pounds walking around like a fatso. I was hooking up with women much more attractive than I am now at 30 pounds lighter. Physical appearance as an excuse is just a lack of self-confidence. Women will hook up with ugly guys bless them. But when your physical appearance shows how unconfident and how little respect you have for yourself, you’re gonna fail unless she is equally damaged.

Wear clothes that fits you, groom yourself, be proud of your hobbies and what you do with your life. You don’t have to be an extrovert, but you do need to be open to speaking with other people and having new experiences, that means being a leader and getting out of your comfort zone without being a bitch baby about it.

Finally, logistics. Logistics, logistics logistics! Women will hook up with the guy who actually has a place and can get them over there without making them feel slut shamed, over an attractive guy who is ruining their next day or weekend with his bullshit. If the only way to your place is by car, you’re only gonna hook up with women who have cars. If it is a 30 minute drive to your place, you’re gonna have a harder time bringing home someone from the club who is tipsy and already having a good time.

For example, I would aim to bring a whole group of people to my place around just before 11pm because when the clock says 10:50pm the night feels young, it’s not one girl scared to drive to a strangers house, displays lack of neediness, social proof, etc.. I know most people think this is insane but - move to a city! Or the downtown part of your medium size town so you can WALK HOME! Or at least a place to park your car in private. And why would they go to your house? Do you have a crazy-ass hookah? A rare film or album? Seed some interest even if it’s bragging you’ll kick her ass in Mario party.

OLD is death for physically unattractive guys. At best, you’ll feel like a dancing monkey on the app, at worse women will literally say hurtful things to make themselves feel better (I only date hot guys - sorry!).

Instead go out. “but I hate going out!” then focus on your social circle. Have friends, have friends who have girlfriends, and girls who are just friends. These people will come over for that Mario party after party you invited your “set” to and know to leave (or easier to kick out) plus can introduce you to new women. “I don’t have friends that want to go out!” Cool, start there bud. When you go out, just focus on platonic friends for now.

TLDR - Focus on social circle, unattractive isn’t a deal breaker but neglecting yourself is, LogisticsLogisticsLogistics!

therealwoujo · 2025-04-23T22:31:59+00:00

There are no secrets. It's the same rules for everyone. If you unattractive then you need to become attractive.

tpenoelone · 2025-04-23T22:45:18+00:00

I am 100 kgs, balding at 37 and have lazy eyes. But still manage to have a beautiful wife ( beautiful for me )

The secret is simple for me, be confident, dont be smelly, humour helps a lot

And also i live on a rural area in asia, so the women arent to picky

chilibreez · 2025-04-24T02:14:06+00:00

Every woman is different. Each has their own preferences in their choice of partner. There are no "secrets".

That being said, there are basic things you can do that will set you apart from most men.

I'm very average looking, 5'8", in my early 40s and the dad bod has really settled in. I have no problems with women, and the girls I see regularly are way out of my league. Solid 10s. Take the beautiful u/aeriellesnow for example.

Basic grooming, hygiene, and self care are a must and you should be doing this whether or not you're trying to date.
Just take care of yourself.

Have a sense of humor and be able to hold a conversation.

Carry yourself with confidence, even if that confidence is fake. Confidence is NOT being full of yourself or constantly bragging about yourself. Confidence is just being comfortable with who you are and what you want.

You don't need a big bank account, fancy car, expensive clothes, etc. You need to be confident in what you have a s your ambitions.

TLDR: Be clean and like yourself. Skys the limit.

topher_atx · 2025-04-24T01:05:49+00:00

Maybe not an answer to your exact question, but I think you’re looking at this wrong. Most people are not at their peak potential attractiveness. Most people can significantly improve their attractiveness by losing weight (both sexes) and gaining muscle (mostly men).

As someone who let himself go, then got back into shape (lost 40/50 pounds, gained back all the muscle I lost) you can vastly improve your position in the dating market.

I used to wonder why I did well with women in certain periods of my life, and not other periods. It all came down to body fat percentage and lean muscle mass.

When I got out of shape the mirror lied to me. I saw the old me, not the new fat me.

If you lift weights everyday, get to 10-15% body fat percentage you will become a 7 (or higher) and will be deserving of dating 7s or higher. Supply and demand. Increase the supply of attractive men, and an attractive woman will scoop you up.

Weigh yourself everyday, count calories, lift, get DEXA scans, do cardio, get to 15% body fat and you will attract the baddie you are looking for.

Godspeed internet friend

LegendaryZTV · 2025-04-23T23:29:06+00:00

You’d probably do better if you stopped using rating scales/numbers to define yourself & others

It’s counterproductive, will have you either putting women on pedestals or looking down on them & same goes for yourself

Apply the basic improvements to yourself & then enhance your strengths. Basics being a skin care routine, good haircuts regularly, workout a bit, eat better, improve your style.

Get those basics down & then make that your baseline, & improve on where you standout 🔥 no chance in hell you or anyone you know thinks you’re a 4/10 my guy, STAND UP 🗣️

Usual-Revolution-718 · 2025-04-23T22:33:26+00:00

money

LiquidLenin · 2025-04-23T23:21:07+00:00

Self love. Or at least they own their shadow

Ok-Broccoli-4071 · 2025-04-24T00:01:16+00:00

No special secret, a tip I always give is confidence, women melt for a man who’s confident

Bloodinthewater0611 · 2025-04-24T01:28:50+00:00

No kidding, learn to talk. Just be nice and engaging but be sincere. That’s legit what it takes.

gutenshmeis · 2025-04-23T22:35:34+00:00

Not gonna happen without money or insane status.

pittburgh_zero · 2025-04-24T02:40:41+00:00

Big nice and have a large penis

Mauristic · 2025-04-24T00:30:29+00:00

Money and stability.

CrazyRepulsive8244 · 2025-04-24T02:17:25+00:00

You guys focus so much on looks you sound like girls

frenkoy · 2025-04-24T02:34:32+00:00

I always have a cucumber in my pants

caesarca · 2025-04-24T03:05:46+00:00

Sigh

Ok-Employment958 · 2025-04-24T03:37:37+00:00

Be charismatic

Connect-Pear-3859 · 2025-04-24T07:00:49+00:00

Mindset is key. Don't take her shittests serious. Get in the best shape you can, for YOUR self confidence.

Go out and be YOU!

HomelessMilkman · 2025-04-24T08:16:52+00:00

No.

"The body is the mind". There isn't a reality where you're completely dysfunctional and are actually super confident, believe you're a '10' and get results of that nature. The fact is that if you genuinely 'believe you're a 10' (or 7.5 if you will), you will look and sound different.

That isn't to say your nose will change, you will grow taller, have hair, obviously not; they're the genetic unchangeable aspects of 'looks' which do not matter; specifically because it's not reflective of any 'status'.

However, you must be the high self-esteem version of yourself who isn't tense, flinching, reactive, have muscular imbalances because of all of the trauma you're holding. The true 'secret' behind looks is if you're uncomfortable not talking to the girl, you're not going to suddenly be comfortable speaking to her; if you can't show you can't handle the 'idea' of talking to her, you aren't acknowledged as part of the game, you aren't an option.

Conversely, if you did feel entitled, if you were comfortable, you'd be acknowledged as an equal; no one would think you're a '4/10', no one would see you as 'deficient'. Impossible.

barlowaplesand · 2025-04-24T12:50:36+00:00

basically, the answer is 'no'.

The best guys out there are obviously the professionals who we are all aware of. Tyler RSD etc etc

However, if you watch their infields, you see that it's nothing special. Nothing magical. they get rejected by hot young girls again and again. Of course they sometimes bang girls out of their league but that's through sheer 'numbers game'. There isn't some 4/10 guy who's always banging young hot 10's in existance unless he is famous or something. I promise you

dasitmane85 · 2025-04-23T23:31:08+00:00

Nah you can’t overcome 3.5pts

Kylearean · 2025-04-23T22:37:39+00:00

Lots of confidence and being authentic are the key traits. Zero hint of any insecurity, but not cocky.

Think Steve Buscemi: He did well with his late wife and his current girlfriend.

ericisatwork · 2025-04-24T04:47:57+00:00

i think i'm for sure above a 4.5, but definitely not a 10 and i have always managed to date very attractive women by most societal standards. i am abnormally tall which definitely helps me get attention, but i think it's mostly that i'm funny, well-groomed, always smell good, and i dress well. a nice haircut and beard trim go a long way, as do nice clothes. i'm not wearing anything more than some blue jeans and a black tee shirt, but the jeans are always clean and my shirts look new.

smellssweet · 2025-04-24T00:40:30+00:00

If you're a 4/10, don't you think it makes sense to try and date within your league?

yazzooClay · 2025-04-23T22:45:51+00:00

if I was 4/10 I wouldn't be dater, I'd be putting a ring if I found anyone.

321sleep · 2025-04-24T07:06:41+00:00

Game trumps looks assuming you’re not a total slob.

WizardSenpai · 2025-04-24T08:03:22+00:00

I used to be friends with a guy, short fat and ugly dude. We'd go to a bar and after a few minutes he'd say "alright this is dead, let's get out of here" and at first I would respond "what? we JUST got here" but here is his secret: He'd immediately approach all of the women he was interested in. before I would even approach one he'd have ran through the entire bar. Thats when I first learned that dating is a numbers game. Its all statistics. If you have a 1% success rate, approach 100 women as fast as possible and you've got a match.

Kaisern · 2025-04-24T08:53:52+00:00

This doesn’t exist outside of massive amounts of wealth and or fame

CamBoy750 · 2025-04-24T11:09:26+00:00

you just gotta be funny

charlieshammer · 2025-04-24T11:54:22+00:00

Don’t disqualify yourself. There’s no chick too tall or too hot for me.

guice666 · 2025-04-24T19:49:54+00:00

Yourself. Simple as that. Women see personality over physical appearance. Men see physical appearance over personality.

The secret is: you — self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-appreciation. It’s you: how you subconsciously view yourself.

PS: be careful, there is a very fine and strong line between cockiness and self-confidence.

Hypnotic_John · 2025-04-23T22:39:16+00:00

Just luck

Title	Is there anyone here with a 4/10 physical appearance who manages to date women (regulary) with a 7.5/10 or higher physique? What’s your secret?
Author	KosloveKoslovich
Upvotes	78
Comments	82
Date	April 23, 2025 10:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1k6bpi7/is_there_anyone_here_with_a_410_physical/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-anyone-here-with-a-410-physical.1550429 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550429

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