IVE HAD ENOUGH! Can someone please teach me how to Text better?!

norwegiandoggo · 2026-06-12T19:50:39+00:00

According to a Norwegian study, people go on a date with about 1 in 40 matches. That is the average. So before you assume you're bad at texting, keep that number in mind. Most matches don't go anywhere. Not getting replies or getting ghosted mid conversation is a totally normal part of using dating apps.

In your particular conversation. Let me translate how women read your messages:

You: “you know I have a motto, every woman who gets back from a long day of work deserves a massage ;)” you like that motto?

Translation: WANT SOME DICK? HOW ABOUT SOME DICK? DID YOU GET DICK YET TODAY? BECAUSE I HAVE SOME DICK. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOME DICK? I WANT SEX!

Point is: you're coming across super thirsty and desperate for sex. And that is exactly the kinda thing that annoys the crap out of women on dating apps. They go on these apps and it feels like they're getting 50 dicks thrown in their face. Be different. Don't seem thirsty. Especially not in the very first messages.

alexthegreatest2 · 2026-06-12T20:09:18+00:00

What got me good at texting was honestly drunk texting. It gamified the process for me and I would just say what I thought was funny

morelale · 2026-06-12T21:44:44+00:00

That's the thing. You don't text, just setup dates and disappear until it's time to meet.

drewster23 · 2026-06-12T21:19:44+00:00

Well first of all stop over thinking a random online conversation....you could say the exact same thing to another girl and have her end up at your place on all 4s...

Ask them out and stop trying to fucking be a "good texter"

shittybillz · 2026-06-12T21:10:34+00:00

This may be unpopular but I don’t flirt sexually at all via text until I’ve actually slept with them. Be flirty and fun and plan the date. Keep your messages short (match her length and reduce by 20% or so), and do not verge into sexual territory.

When I was on the apps I could get a date basically every night if I wanted. Had it down to a science. Flirty and playful but not sexual, don’t hint at sex, don’t subtly suggest it. Don’t even say you’re gonna give her a massage.

Get the number quick, within 5-20 messages.

Haunting_Proposal659 · 2026-06-12T20:00:37+00:00

She was being generic and you made it personal You could've followed up with "Why are you so sore?" Or "Sounds like you might need a vacation, whats your dream getaway?" You came off as a player or desperate she didn't like it

MechanicCritical3566 · 2026-06-12T20:47:16+00:00

Text like you speak, so more is better rather than putting everything in one concise message. Less information exchange and more emotion exchange. More contentless wins in the beginning, afterwards when you have a lot of attraction you can add context but I would advise you go to the phone there or as soon as possible.

autodidacticasaurus · 2026-06-12T23:45:26+00:00

Two things I'd recommend. One is check out Playing with Fire's YouTube channel. He has a lot of shit on texting. So does "The Single Guy".

Other than that, what you need to do is practice. Practice with hundreds or thousands of woman. Do it like it's your job. Use apps where you can directly write to girls (like OKCupid) or use apps where you can set your location to countries where you'll be way more popular. Don't lead people on though, if they ask let them know how (un)serious you are. Women love to flirt, so it's not going to be an issue for the most part.

confused_8357 · 2026-06-13T06:11:31+00:00

Why are u even texting so much? Only text for setting up dates

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-06-13T07:44:23+00:00

Imagjne how’d you text if you had 5 other girls and text like that

star_wars_the_501st · 2026-06-13T11:03:01+00:00

The point of texting is just to set up dates. Took me long enough to get this

CumputerInside · 2026-06-12T20:29:05+00:00

“I can help with that winky face” bro fucking cringe. Ur lucky she didn’t say fuck off.

Old_Scar_8298 · 2026-06-13T04:37:24+00:00

I’ve read through everything in this thread, and to be honest, I think you come across as too immature to most women. The way you respond to some of the comments here says it all. You clearly don’t handle constructive criticism well and react to it very defensively. Women can sense that kind of immaturity a mile away, which means you’re quickly found out.

Special_Rice9539 · 2026-06-13T14:45:21+00:00

Way too much emphasis on how you’re going to have sex with her immediately. It’s implied by the fact you’re on a dating app, you can tone down your level of intent by a lot compared to when you’re at a bar.

Like I might do a sexual joke every now and then, but I keep texting pretty vanilla to avoid giving them some to info they can misinterpret or possibly worry about.

That being said, I have gotten laid more on dates where I was sexual in the texting beforehand. If I’m too platonic, she’s more likely to come out, but then the date might also be platonic and boring.

So there is a line you have to walk, but you’re too far in the sexual direction here

Alternate_Sparrow · 2026-06-12T19:55:42+00:00

I think you might've taken her bait. Perhaps it was a test to see if you were only after sex.

Yeah, I know. If I wanted to play games, I would spend time on my PC instead of spending it on their bullshit. But it is what it is, it's the cross we have to shoulder.

AD_e_mishka · 2026-06-12T22:06:20+00:00

The problem isnt in your texting skills, its in your social skills. Delete that tinder and start going out and building real genuine connections.

Kylearean · 2026-06-12T21:33:39+00:00

keep texting to a minimum -- honestly, only use it to establish congruence and the next time you're meeting.

blackburncl · 2026-06-13T18:07:15+00:00

I don't even have to try thinking like a woman to know that your send that to a lot of them.

Only text to invite her somewhere, nothing else.

Matter_Still · 2026-06-13T23:37:10+00:00

The massage line is so old, it has a beard. Adam probably used it on Eve. I can imagine a woman thinking, "That's it. That's the best he has? What is he sixteen?"

ultratraditionalist · 2026-06-12T19:59:33+00:00

"Hi [Name], I'm not super into the apps, can I just grab your #? We'll do some drinks, small bites, and see if we vibe"

Works like 90% of the time. Texting is a waste of time, so filter out the time-wasters. You're trying to get your dick wet right?

South-Excitement1720 · 2026-06-12T20:18:59+00:00

She wanted validating, maybe she had had a shit day. You validated her. Job done.

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-06-12T20:04:39+00:00

If her profile doesn’t clearly indicate that she wants casual, sex only, fwb, ons, open relationship, I wouldn’t reply or direct the msg to something sexual or even sexual innuendo jokes. At least not before first meetup/date.

Jason__Hardon · 2026-06-12T23:23:43+00:00

Try having sex with them first, it should make a huge difference. Good luck 🫡

Fuzzy-Mirror-5100 · 2026-06-19T05:07:11+00:00

Honestly, it just depends on the vibe. I’ve had pretty good success with dating apps, but I will say this: if you meet a girl in person, there’s a good chance she’ll be even better than her profile.

Start by asking a question about her. People are way more likely to reply if it’s thoughtful or interesting. Use something from her prompts, something you have in common, or just a creative opener that gets her talking.

A few examples:

“What’s something people always get wrong about you?”
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?”
“What’s been the highlight of your life lately?”

I think creating comfort is more important than trying to impress. At the end of the day, you’re still a stranger on the internet.

From there, show that you’re fun and keep the conversation playful. Ask a qualifying question:

“Do we actually vibe, though?” “MFK: coffee, cocktails, and wine.” “What’s a green flag about you that’s not on your profile?”

Then just vibe, flirt a little, and say what you actually want to say instead of trying to play a character.

Eventually, ask for her number and suggest something concrete: “You seem cool. We should grab drinks sometime.”

You can be flirty and sexual but don’t be obvious.

Like the massage thing is good but the whole time she knows you wanna have sex with her. You gotta think of it as a movie and not the porno. The movie has the short sex scene that woman love and the guys like the porno which the whole thing is sex. Flip it on its head. lol

MechanicCritical3566 · 2026-06-13T06:06:31+00:00

Texting and especially phone calls are not a waste of time. They build attraction and phone/video call can tell you if it will be pleasant to talk to someone in person or not. Besides using them as your own filter to decide with whom to go out you can use them to practically seal the deal and create a lot of attraction. Ive used texting and phone calls with so many girls and went from hi to extremely sexual conversation and than hooking up was a walk in the park.

nachtraum · 2026-06-12T19:49:54+00:00

Use captions sparingly

garlopf · 2026-06-13T10:23:35+00:00

It is easy! Start with "b", then follow with the rest of the letters "e", "t", "t", "e", "r".

cnoir0x · 2026-06-14T15:51:58+00:00

first of all your texting is really bad. saying i can help with that with a winky face is exactly what thousands of other desperate dudes are sending her every single day. but the bigger issue here is that you are on dating apps in the first place. you need to get off these apps right now and just meet women outside in the real world. if a girl is actually comfortable and receptive to this type of texting she is a high exposure 304 and you should be actively avoiding those types of girls anyway. texting on dating apps is not real texting. let me say it one more time so it finally clicks in your head. texting on dating apps is not how real authentic texting looks like. you are playing a completely rigged game where women hold literally all the leverage. she unmatched you because you are just one of hundreds of dudes offering her a hookup in her inbox at that exact moment. she gets flooded with infinite attention the second she opens the app and she forgets about your existence literally five seconds after reading your message. it is a rigged game and you are playing for a prize that isnt even worth winning. their brains are completely fried from endless validation and dopamine spikes. the fact that a woman is even on a dating app is a massive indicator that there might be something fundamentally wrong with her. even if she seems normal right now the very act of her being on that app guarantees that over time her brain will get completely ruined by the constant artificial attention. she will literally lose the biological capacity to develop real feelings or form meaningful connections with men because her baseline for stimulation is completely fried. you are sitting here overanalyzing your rizz while she is just mindlessly swiping while sitting on the toilet. its a complete waste of your energy to even try. you wonder how you messed up but the reality is that she just got bored or someone else sent a shinier message and she moved on without giving a single thought about it because her dopamine receptors are cooked from all the attention she is getting. the fact that you are here getting stressed out and asking reddit how to fix your text game proves that the app is working exactly as intended to keep you insecure and confused. you are outsourcing your self worth to an algorithm built to keep you lonely. this is not how real relationships and connections are built at all. real authentic connections take time. you cannot speedrun a real connection through a screen with a girl who has a roster of hundreds of thirsty dudes in her pocket. just remove the apps forever. go outside into the real world and start approaching. find a normal young low exposure woman who hasnt been poisoned by this modern degenerate world yet, text her like a normal human being over a period of time to slowly get to know each other without rushing. that is what actual authentic real ENJOYABLE texting looks like and that is how you actually build a real solid connection. right now you are full of layers and ego protection. you are sitting behind a screen trying to engineer the perfect text to get a positive reaction. you need to actually go out into the real physical world, stop overthinking every single word to try and sound like a smooth smartass and just be your fully unfiltered non desperate self. the apps are literally just brainrot and until you throw them in the trash you are going to keep looping in this exact same miserable cycle

Title	IVE HAD ENOUGH! Can someone please teach me how to Text better?!
Author	IslandMan01
Upvotes	97
Comments	89
Date	June 12, 2026 7:45 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1u45kib/ive_had_enough_can_someone_please_teach_me_how_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-had-enough-can-someone-please-teach-me-how-to.1582680 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582680

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