Only use texting to set up a date.

JohnZoffman · 2021-03-04T10:43:07+00:00

I have a friend, who bangs alot. He gets girls on tinder, and he always texts to get to know them.

Not even smooth stuff.

Just "what do you do" compliments and shit.

I mentioned the idea of only texting for setting up a date, and he acted like it was the most ridicoulous thing ever.

ImJustSo · 2021-03-04T13:09:33+00:00

If you suck at texting, yeah don't text. Otherwise, ignore this post and just text when you want.

Shadow__Account · 2021-03-04T11:01:05+00:00

I follow your logic and I think in general it may bring the best results, but I still disagree for many reasons.

I have very good protocols of getting dates really fast over text, but It means I will have to do all the work on the date itself and I basically know nothing about the girl and If I will really like her and I don't want to waste my time on that live. So that's a reason I will text more and screen her, get to know her a bit better before I decide on a date. I just don't want to sit there with someone and having to carry the conversation on my own the whole time with some chick that is like ok seduce me.

I have seen a lot of posts lately on chicks being either into you or neutral/ not into you and you should next them if they are the latter two, I guess same as your whole post if your sole goal is too get with as many girls as possible and you just want the highest success rate, I can only agree. But there is a lot of fun for me in turning a neutral or uninterested girl over text, by being emotionally unmovable and staying positive and dropping value and I view it as great exercise to get better.

If you are worried about turning her off, I would also reason that I'd rather do that over text so I can next her without having the trouble of meeting up, I mean that's not a mindset I would want to go into a date with it means you'll be on your toes he whole time.

In general the more I text the more girls get hooked before we meet, because I get to game them so much over text and all with the luxury of having the time to make the perfect moves which I don't have live, so when we meet live I will know I am really interested in her and she is really into me already.

Now I am def not talking weeks of texting, but instead of the 3-10 mins I text for like an hour and maybe the next day or day after again and I'll send some funny texts before the actual date.

dipthrowit · 2021-03-04T13:18:34+00:00

This is dumb, there are no rules. If you cannot hold a conversation over text, so be it, but otherwise it all depends on the preferences, vibes and personality of each participant

Simplysalted · 2021-03-04T13:43:56+00:00

This is an awful way to help people struggling at online dating. The advice should be "get better at texting girls and being funny", because that's what they like. Say what you will, but many women are texting someone the majority of the day. Texting is like small talk, ask them questions about themselves and remember the answers. At the right time in the future, show that you listened by bringing the subject up again and ask a deeper question about it in person. Thats talking to women 101.

The only part I will agree with is: if you've been texting for a day and haven't set a meeting set one. Because most people perform way better socially in person, but most women will not meet a stranger off the bat so its important to talk to them and show them you're not gonna murder them.

Sounds like this is a classic "passing off my personal anecdote as life advice" which is increasingly frequent in this sub.

adabbed · 2021-03-04T13:26:59+00:00

I’m a girl and I have to agree with this. I hate texting people and wasting my time exchanging a lot of information without it going anywhere. People can be whoever they want over text. I want to be able to get the vibe and see what the other person is all about in real life. I think exchanging maybe 5-10 texts before planning a date is ideal and then don’t text until it’s date time. Leaves you loads to talk about on the actual date. Also from my perspective it shows that the guy is interested and takes control of the situation. There is nothing worse then the guy being all wishy washy and wasting my time.

zaryaguy · 2021-03-04T13:17:08+00:00

I don't believe this at all. Maybe with some girls it's better, but if u are vibing with a girl it's fine to chat with her as much as u want. In fact it will drastically improve ur chances of her not flaking in my experience

kingofthefall · 2021-03-04T14:24:53+00:00

How would this translate to current COVID times where you both are in lockdown? I feel like you're going to lose that connection if you don't text to establish rapport.

ttarrantula · 2021-03-04T17:23:25+00:00

This is terrible advice.

If text is difficult for you.. make the effort to arrange a call once in a while. (Personally, I don’t know how using an alphabet keyboard is difficult or unfamiliar to the general public.. but have heard from many that they don’t enjoy text. )

If I’m going to date you, I expect communication at the bare minimum, but ideally.. I would enjoy it to be fun to talk with you! I want to date someone who is present.

Maybe think on your outlook on things, if having a conversation is too difficult/ too large of an ‘investment’ for you.

Plus.. if you arrange a date yet go completely silent on me, I’m likely going to think you’re not interested.

Railionn · 2021-03-04T14:56:17+00:00

Wtf is this post lmao. Learning how to respond over text is a very handy skill to have. It also kind of mirrors how the person is in real life so you can prepare. But I prefer calling anyway.

Mr_Zarathustra · 2021-03-04T14:18:14+00:00

incorrect

if you don't keep her engaged with you (assuming you haven't gone on a date yet) she'll find a reason to flake when the time comes to see her

send her pictures of interesting stuff youre doing with your interesting life, tease her, make up absurd scenarios (don't just "hey" or "sup" her to oblivion)

do this correctly and it'll not only make her less likely to flake, but will ease the vibe and let you get to know her a little more first (but always have a date on the horizon so you don't get friendzoned)

lilbootiehugewaist · 2021-03-04T14:28:22+00:00

Oh god, if a guy texted me only to set up dates I’d probably ghost him immediately tbh. To me, texting is an important aspect of dating, so I vet guys quickly based on our texting rapport. Now, being a bad texter would probably also get someone ghosted, but I don’t think that the answer is FULL BLOWN stop texting. That doesn’t fix anything, they’re still going to get ghosted.

Synth_Lord · 2021-03-04T15:28:13+00:00

I disagree to the only in person part. I do it for dating apps as well and I don't have trouble with it and if a girl loses interest or whatevers during that period then that's fine by me. There's plenty of people out there to be hung up on one person.

I consider myself advanced already but I still think it's not the best advice for newbies. Teach them early how to properly go about it or they'll end up messing up their chances more. The only time I do continue having a convo over text before the date is when she chooses to continue it then I'll entertain it. I've already build enough rapport to make her comfortable enough to go out with me why go beyond that? My two cents.

edit: After reading the rest of this thread holy shit the responses are all over the place. How about just do what works for you? If people see success in texting before the date then let them be. If they don't text before the date and it works then that's great too. Perhaps this should be a post about experimenting with texting/not texting before a date and see which one gets you better results. Personally for me I got more success just texting to set up a date and leaving all the fun and antics for the date building that anticipation as I see it. Especially for girls who are dry af texting. Do you.

TerminatorReborn · 2021-03-04T15:38:14+00:00

This is one of the worst recurrent advices here on reddit. It's not that it never works, some women are open to go on dates like this, but you guys have to keep in mind that most women have reservations when going out with guys they don't know, there are a lot of creeps and abusers out there, some women feel more secure if they build atleast a bit of connection first.

If you have a bunch of girls lined up to go on dates with you then go ahead and just ask them out, but I don't think most guys looking for advice on this sub are on that situation tbh

texxmix · 2021-03-04T15:56:51+00:00

I’ve come to realize that a girl that’s genuinely into you will ignore all the other dudes blowing up their phone and talking to you instead.

Obvious talking too much can be bad, but how you talk through text matters more.

As it’s was already said in the top comment, everyone of my friends who get laid (both male and female) always think the whole “only text to set up dates thing” is ridiculous and always say to never take dating advice from Reddit.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-03-04T17:06:25+00:00

It depends on the girl. But I will say I've rarely barely texted a girl and it turned out she was into me.

-BroncosForever- · 2021-03-04T19:00:32+00:00

Sounds like you try way too hard to be funny and you’re not actually funny though.

ArtistVast · 2021-03-04T19:43:18+00:00

I respectfully disagree I believe you should become a quality texter. Texting is just another form of communication so I’m other words become a quality communicator.

1500ontheshoes · 2021-03-04T17:27:51+00:00

These responses are silly, I agree with you Brodie. Sure throw her a bone here or there so she knows you’re alive/still interested but I’ve never met a high quality dude who wastes his time texting all the girls he’s talking to. It just isn’t efficient

_aut0mata · 2021-03-04T14:01:52+00:00

Disagree. Guys. Remember this. You're not just trying to find out if she likes you, you're also trying to figure out if you like her.

Put your genuine self out there, if she likes you, and you like her, you'll build a natural connection. And it will feel amazing.

No, don't text so much that you're seeming like you don't have a life, but do what feels natural at the time. Remember, you're building interested, not attraction at this time. The attraction part comes later, your both trying to figure out if you're interested at this point.

If you don't trust yourself enough to be your genuine self and have a few text convos then that's what you need to work on. Being interesting even over text, not being overbearing and also trusting yourself when situations aren't ideal (I default to funny but attentive here).

It must be said over and over, you have to be your genuine self in order to find someone that you're compatible with.

Bodacious_Dad_Bod · 2021-03-04T13:29:47+00:00

I disagree. A lot of comfort is built beforehand. I find women are more likely to ghost if you aren't developing rapport at all.

Text to build mystery. Do a phone call. Go on date. Not texting isn't really good advice.

rottenbananadick · 2021-03-04T18:22:32+00:00

I am a girl. I would be annoyed by a guy insisting on an in-person date. I don’t want to waste my time going to get coffee with a guy if he ends up being a weirdo. I would also misconstrue the silence for lack of interest. Also, treating “tinder Girls” like they aren’t as good as girls you meet elsewhere is pretty repulsive. Good luck to you, Casanova. You definitely will need it.

caiocarv · 2021-03-04T13:29:08+00:00

I think it really depends on the girl. I had girls I used to text a lot and the conversation went smoothly and awesome, they understood all I wanted to say and we were very connected and in the same vibe.

In the downside, there were girls that holy shit. Conversation were boring as fk, low response or didn't get the right vibes of my words.

Maybe it's related of how much the girl is into you, I don't know. But I try to text because I really like sexting.

Guess it's kinda trial and error.

ZoomiesintheVivarium · 2021-03-04T18:24:03+00:00

Sure if you wanna fuck. This is not the kind of relationship I'm interested in. I'd want to text and get close and then have good sex, not just sex

Mustang1011 · 2021-03-05T14:24:32+00:00

OP did you read 3% man or follow coach Corey Wayne? If you did good post but share the material to give the readers a broader perspective on the why.

Title	Only use texting to set up a date.
Author	vamsig66
Upvotes	291
Comments	102
Date	March 4, 2021 8:36 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lxg43l/only_use_texting_to_set_up_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/only-use-texting-to-set-up-a-date.1510664 https://theredarchive.com/post/1510664

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