Where the fuck do most guys learn this stuff?

Yuva0 · 2022-01-28T05:48:40+00:00

Some are naturals, some learn but don't say, some learn from friends, some learn from their parents, some read from books, watch YT videos, podcasts etc etc. Everyone's different.

buckphif · 2022-01-28T05:34:28+00:00

Trial and error..

labyrinthlilith · 2022-01-28T09:50:30+00:00

It comes down to polarity. I think when men(and women!) are trying too hard to meet someone, trying to force conversation with the intent of hooking up or whatever, it has a tendency to repel what they’re trying to attract. The anxiety of the approach and worry about how you will be received is what is working against you.

Men that I’ve noticed women are most receptive to, approach social situations in a more lighthearted manner and honestly don’t seem to gaf if people like them or not. I’m not saying be a dbag, but talking to people in a more jovial way, shooting the shit and making it fun/ny is attractive. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be seen as “seductive” or appealing. Just be unapologetically yourself and you will attract people with complimentary energy. 🙂

norwegiandoggo · 2022-01-28T06:57:57+00:00

The best way to learn something is to just try and do it. Practice beats theory. People also pick up cues all around them, from parents, from hearing about friends having success, from movies, from reality TV shows. Etc.

Calamity__Bane · 2022-01-28T06:53:41+00:00

I started off with trial and error and by observing others when they were having a hot streak. Did pretty well that way, but I wasn't consistent enough for my liking and I knew for a fact I was punching way below my weight. Getting female attention and interest was never a problem for me, but getting from there to the close was a crapshoot. So, I decided I'd learn how to be consistent, and to cut a long story short, here I am.

fuckboychadlmao · 2022-01-28T07:34:16+00:00

I’d say a combination of observation, and trial and error. Since a kid, I knew which behaviors women found attractive just by being observant. Women liked the guys who were kind of asshole-ish, but witty, with a hint of flirtiness. I had this game on lock in elementary/middle school.

As far as sex, I had no idea what the fuck to do for the longest time. Probably why I was a late bloomer sexually.

justadudechllin · 2022-01-28T12:12:07+00:00

I don’t do any method. And girls love me. It’s all about being yourself and doing whatever you want. First day I proposed her to have sex in the middle of a park, she got offended, then she forgot. It was good all date

GazelleLast · 2022-01-28T07:20:45+00:00

Go, get beaten / rejected and learn / introspect yourself and do it again you will improve in every next step ( & through the journey will you will find your own style of doing game ) and fun fact there are billion girl's / billion chance's in this earth, waiting for you .

vaijoca · 2022-01-28T11:43:18+00:00

Learn to dance for fun if you can go to a club to dance and come back home happy you will soon come back home accompanied

Equivalent_Speaker26 · 2022-01-28T21:48:12+00:00

Get a wing
Read, watch lectures, listen to lessons. Learn about all the common sticking points.
Figure out what sticking point you are on.
Read, watch lessons, listen to lectures for the solution to your current sticking point.
Practice the recommended solution for your sticking point in field.
Get to the next sticking point (where you get stuck).
Repeat steps 3 to 6.

Keep leveling up.

GeezRick · 2022-01-28T09:06:50+00:00

Most guys don’t "learn” it. If you ask around, you’ll find that most guys are simply being led through the process by women. The woman won’t outright make a move but she’ll give you cues for what to do. Most guys pick up on it and “follow her lead” in a sense.

mabden · 2022-01-28T13:22:40+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3h5plr/masf_repost_simplest_possible_pua_framework_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

mASF (fastseduction) was where I first found out about PUA. Prior to that it was trial by combat meaning you go out in the world and fail, fail, fail, until you don't. You had to rely on your gut instincts, but the problem with that was you didn't know if you could trust them. My cousin turned me onto reading body language and how to deal with shit tests. Answer: you don;t give a fuck what they say, (shit tests) only what they do, (body language.)

Anyway a good resource by some of the guys on the original mASF website,

Practical female psychology for the practical man.

Other resources:

The System by Doc Love

The Dicarlo Escalation Ladder

The Sex God Method

Alarming-Unit-7214 · 2022-01-28T19:26:56+00:00

At the most basic level your bread and butter mindset should be this:

I don't want anything from her. I'm here to have fun and if she's someone who wants the same we'll click and she'll actually make it EASY for me to have a conversation/hang out with her.

but that's my only responsibility for right now - just enjoy the moment and try to have fun with ZERO expectations of if she'll want to ever hang out with me or engage in conversation with me in the future.

if it turns out she's not that into you, then she might've missed out. Her loss, not yours.

if it turns out ya'll had fun but she could only see u as a friend, again no hard feelings.

But again, your bread and butter mindset should always be: i'm in a good spot in my life and i dont need anything from anyone.

And btw, that mental frame is fucking hard. There's stressors everywhere in life. It's on you to both make your life less stressful and to also get better at managing your stress and being resistant to it.

But once you're there, things like girl's flirting back, wanting to text u, etc will be way easier because they'll make it easier

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-28T11:07:19+00:00

I'm afraid only anti social weirdos (me included) had to read about this stuff. Guys who do well with women were taught the right beliefs by their dads. Like themselves, have self respect, they instilled a masculine spirit in them by encouraging risk taking, competing in sports and dominating other men.

Guys with absent or weak dads, like mine, we're not encouraged to do that. My dad never did or even watched any sports. My mom never encouraged me to be competitive because as a woman she wants everyone to cooperate and get along. Your mom wants you to safe so she will never teach you how to drive a dirt bike or build a trampoline your back yard.

But most importantly the way your father behaves is how you learn to behave. If he was pushover and got no respect, you start believing that no men, and by extension that means you, deserve respect. And this is the biggest killer of male sexual attractiveness.

TheTruth221 · 2022-01-28T11:39:08+00:00

pua courses and paying lots of money for programs

PuroPincheGains · 2022-01-28T15:54:33+00:00

This sub is a shadow of it's former self. There's a ton of theory you can find in the sidebar, and a bunch of books to learn this stuff. The community has largely forgot about outer game though. I doubt any of the top comments here are from people who see lots of success. "Trial and error bro," is bad advice. Good practice makes perfect. Bad practice reinforces bad habits and earns you a reputation as a creep. I'll start making some outer game posts soon. Hit me up for a training guide and book recommendations.

kombojombo · 2022-01-28T12:43:13+00:00

its called “ fuck around and find out “

videogames_ · 2022-01-28T06:50:29+00:00

Read the sidebar for the knowledge. Then start with getting solid social skills and and then practicing the knowledge you read.

Melinored · 2022-01-28T07:15:42+00:00

They are good because they haven't memorized any scripts. The most baddest of dudes with girls they don't know a shit about seduction. It's all about attitude, Stop making women an Academic Degree to be pursued.

TheCuriousBread · 2022-01-28T10:52:55+00:00

You know that guy back in MIDDLE SCHOOL, while everyone was playing minecraft or basketball or what have ya, he was PUTTING IT IN THE BOX basically right after he's learnt how to give himself a handie? That guy. That guy who's banging your school's hottest chicks even though he didn't even go here? There's many of those guys out there and they've had 10-20 years of practice ahead of the common man.

TheRiverOfDyx · 2022-01-28T08:08:46+00:00

I’m the fairest looking version of me I’ll ever get, and I can put extra effort beyond maintenance to do that. I don’t feel the need for the extra though. So I’ll be myself by being an example to myself, and others as everyone sets an example for themselves, and just act like I’m a 10/10, but being super humble about it. I might only be a 5, could be a 4, maybe a 7, but to me you’re as young as you feel, and a pretty as you feel. Your body is the only subset of who you can rate. You are your only sample.

It’s impossible not to be a 10/10 to yourself, and only yourself. At the core. Arguably, everyone is 10/10 confident in their looks until they start relating themselves to each other.

Have a non-judgemental view of everyone, but have lines and preferences, everyone is entitled to the preference of what brings them Joy, including Beauty. It’s in the eye of the beholder. Beauty standards exist, they look distinct and aesthetically pleasing to the eye because they look sculpted instead of simply constructed, it’s like human architecture in every face I see.

God’s craftsmanship, I guess. Sometimes it’s an B- shop class project, sometimes it’s masterfully crafted. But all faces have their beauty. Just imagine people as statues, even “ugly” ones were carved and sculpted. They’re all distinct and have their own charm.

If you could go back to infancy and choose which memories to retain when you do, or even just which lessons to pull from those experiences and not feel any regret for it, which ideas would be good to do away with?

Feeling peer pressured into judging yourself because everyone else compares themselves on subjective matters just saps confidence. HARD. It’s the comparison game.

No contest, No comparison, Nobody could ever be You, Nobody will ever look like you, Dopplegangers aren’t clones, they’re Individuals and have minute enough differences to be their own beautiful. Putting in work just adds to it.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-01-28T10:05:34+00:00

Trial and error. Some guys hire dating coaches. But most men just either sink, or swim.

porn-chicken · 2022-01-28T10:25:18+00:00

You should know that really it's not learning how to. It's unlearning how not to.

Sex is literally part of your biology. It's programmed into you on the deepest level. But social dynamics have evolved quite rapidly and the heuristics our minds use to evaluate and navigate it need recalibrating.

Some people learn these skills that helps them early in life. Social skills, conversation skills, hygiene, manners, etc. For others, they do not, so they have to learn it later in life.

cbh28 · 2022-01-28T10:54:38+00:00

You talk to people and just figure out on your own what works and what doesn't. Having female friends makes it easier to be comfortable around them. A lot of guys who aren't good at flirting, put women on a pedestal and think they're so different from guys, but they really aren't. They're just normal people who want to have a normal conversation and laugh. Being able to do that, to have an interesting conversation, gets you half way there, then it's just adding some flirting and teasing, and you're good.

AnonymousEngineer21 · 2022-01-28T12:20:44+00:00

ikr i wish this was a class at school or something, i'd be a fucking CHAD if it was

im very book smart but not street smart

freevisiondesign · 2022-01-28T14:00:54+00:00

Trail and Error is the best teacher. YouTube and books are good tools but if you aren’t applying your learns you are basically swimming in circles.

indigo_pirate · 2022-01-28T14:06:03+00:00

No one had sex before pick up

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-01-28T15:05:21+00:00

Naturals are not naturals. Its no different than people looking at sports players or singers. Ohhh hes lucky hes a natural. Under the surface theres hours upon hours of hard work. Its the same with dating naturals have field tested women to ad nauseum. You have to just dive in and take your licks. Dating is like stand up. The greats are not great because they have something you dont. They have it because they got booed off of stages and never gave up

ChurchofCaboose1 · 2022-01-28T15:09:13+00:00

Trial and error man. Some guys are just naturally more prone to it if their personality happens to be more desirable. Otherwise, you just try stuff out. For me, I learned to just lean into my personality. It's different from the norm, but here's the thing. Why would I want to blend into the masses? I wanna stand out baby!

Shuuuuup · 2022-01-28T15:59:55+00:00

For me, I'm not expert at all but I feel like I did learn a lot of basics from the book by Neil Strauss The Game. I recommend it.

jwaters0122 · 2022-01-28T16:21:33+00:00

Trial and error. Mostly error but the trick is to learn from these errors and to not get discouraged.

Allaiyah · 2022-01-28T16:24:49+00:00

PUActice

SG_3160 · 2022-01-28T16:29:43+00:00

I've read books, practiced, and been mentored. A mixture of everything but some guys just come natural to them.

RomanH101 · 2022-01-28T17:20:36+00:00

Normally its your fathers that would teach you. But seeing as most fathers in the West after 1960 were either complete wussies, complete jerks or absent altogether, you learn by reading & experience.

For me it was reading How to be a 3% Man by Corey Wayne (which delves deep into what makes women tick, what turns them off & how to develop confidence and know what you want in a woman/women).

Then I read Way of the Superior Man (which delves deep into Masculine & Feminine energy, how it looks in dating & how to be more Masculine).

After having good knowledge of what made women tick, how to be confident, how to know what I want from life, I just started acting on it.

Started lifting weights, started using pinterest to get inspiration to improve my fashion sense, started learning skills that would help me rise in my career & started approaching women from a place of self-assurance rather than from neediness & a “nice guy” attitude.

Over time I learned what game worked for me, what kinds of women responded to what & what to ABSOLUTELY not do (i.e. simping, love bombing etc.)

So unless you grew up with some great male rolemodels like a cool father, uncle or cousin, which most of us didn’t. Books & practice are going to be your friend.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-01-28T17:40:28+00:00

Natural, trial and error, have sisters. Most guys are actually terrible at it, but the women still have to pick somebody right.

Czekraft · 2022-01-28T19:00:02+00:00

You get it by being comfortable around women and yourself, but also willing to push the envelope and being open to feedback+new experiences.

For most guys that never talk to women but want to date one, of course things are going to get awkward cringe and possibly even a slap in the face. One guy tried to flirt with my girlfriend by saying "I bet you make all the guys dicks hard." Too soon buddy.

How can one date a girl without any understanding how they think? The spoiler is that they don't think any different. They still have insecurities and worry what others think among their jobs, friendships, future, etc.

A guy doesn't necessarily need to learn by dating. If he can make friends with a lot of women, then they can fill him in on what he's missing or could work on without having to make dozens of mistakes first. Also, a guy having a lot of women friends is an attractive quality to a girl.

ksmith11011 · 2022-01-28T19:06:41+00:00

Literally it’s trial and error. When a girl goes cold on me for no apparent reason I think about what I did, I try something different with the next girl. Over many years you eventually figure out what really matters to women and how you should invest your attention.

I think one mistake guys make is not realizing who they choose to pursue is just as important as how they pursue. Trust me when I say this you do NOT want a girl who needs you to be on your A-game in order to keep her attention. If you fail with a girl like that the answer is to pick better, not be better.

dodged_that_one · 2022-01-28T19:13:06+00:00

Lucky people get into virtuous circles of trying things, getting mostly positive feedback and trying a variation, mostly subconsciously.

The ones who don't learn this stuff, there are a many reasons why and this isn't an evening for essays.

No-Department6252 · 2022-01-28T20:10:22+00:00

start here

https://youtu.be/WuGSyLkQtRI

myo____ · 2022-01-28T20:42:02+00:00

Im gonna go with Most guys never learn this stuff. Now , the subset of guys who get all the nice women, first of all have status and self love , desire to achieve goals unrelated to women and continued self improvement, and never put dating women in top 1 priority. Reading books etc works as a supplement for your repertory of social skills (which is part of your status) and will facilitate your approaches but you'll always need more than that.

classroomdaydreamer · 2022-01-28T21:55:33+00:00

Check out “The Game” by Neil Strauss for picking up women. Seduction is not an innate skill you are born with. It’s learned like any other skill. It requires study and practice.

Sure, some may be more confident and pick up women more easily because of this, but for the rest of us, it’s a skill that can be learned!

It all starts with self-confidence though. Without this, you can’t pick up a wet paper bag.

vibrantbarleybowling · 2022-01-28T22:35:59+00:00

For me it was Simple Pick up... now it is the Book called " The Game " check them out both. Lifechanging

2022-01-29T16:24:38+00:00

I use dating apps specifically to practice, not to look for real partners.

Sup3rHD · 2022-01-30T12:01:23+00:00

Secution does not exist

sonofpacman10 · 2022-02-23T16:48:01+00:00

I suggest you go to the 'more' section and check out this subs wiki. Lots of good stuff there.

Title	Where the fuck do most guys learn this stuff?
Author	faithinstrangers92
Upvotes	66
Comments	100
Date	January 28, 2022 5:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sej7ck/where_the_fuck_do_most_guys_learn_this_stuff/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-the-fuck-do-most-guys-learn-this-stuff.1268106 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268106

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