Why Being “Funny” Is Killing Your Attraction [Dancing Monkey Syndrome]

Btxfornow · 2020-09-26T17:34:14+00:00

But sometimes when a girl already likes you she giggles at most things you say even if you are not trying to be funny. Am I wrong?

Normieinaspliff · 2020-09-26T19:03:53+00:00

Be funny

Don't be funny

Another dating coach

Trying to steal my money

arkadylaw · 2020-09-26T18:42:26+00:00

This is a very important topic as the temptation to make the girl laugh non stop can be quite significant. The key to avoiding this problem is being funny in moderation. Maybe 70-80% being serious / interesting and 20% funny in the right and tasteful way, so you don't appear like a professional clown.

deathstroke2004 · 2020-09-26T18:02:27+00:00

Kind of getting sociopathic vibes from some of these posts on here. “This won’t get where you want to go” sounds a little off. I get advice but step by step doesn’t work as everyone’s different

conr716 · 2020-09-26T19:38:17+00:00

Been there done that. If she walks away let her. I've shared a joke or two with a girl at a bar. She laughed but got roped into the convo of another dude, so I just watched the hockey game, not chasing her. After a moment or two she came back and then we had the convo. I think joking is good but if that's all you can do then some women can sense your a poser that's trying to hide something.

A good opener followed up by a second joke then onto a good convo while staying confident, relaxed and genuine to yourself.

Also a big reminder, if she walks away...who cares? There always a bus every 15 minutes

Economou · 2020-09-26T19:39:25+00:00

Here’s my criticism on this idea that funny guys are clowns and that it kills attraction. It is necessary to distinguish genuine funny guys (who you really are) vs nervous funny guys (using humor as a crutch to avoid really sharing who they are). Recall that women are WAY more in tune with sniffing out BS personas than men. So another explanation to why humor kills attraction is that it’s not genuine. This is a similar reason why “nice guys” don’t fuck, but nice guys do. And why “alpha bros” get shit tests - trust is the fundamental bedrock upon which attraction can build. If they don’t trust you, they’re not gunna fuck you. Period.

kiKnee · 2020-09-26T18:03:47+00:00

Is your suggestion that we should be funny first to grab initial interest and then transition into seriousness?

maliguru · 2020-09-26T16:39:29+00:00

Really needed this! Thanks

jphilipre · 2020-09-26T20:10:27+00:00

Bullshit.

I don’t know what the OP’s bona fides are, but if you’re funny, you’ll attract your mate who appreciates humor. If you’re not funny and try to be, you’ll lose out for not being yourself.

levimarclaire · 2020-09-26T18:48:13+00:00

Just enough humor to get her comfortable and relaxed without overdoing it. Very easy indeed to get lost in the validation of the humor they enjoy but we learn from that. Thanks for the reminder.

ManyQuantumWorlds · 2020-09-26T18:49:53+00:00

If that happens to you, it’s because you don’t know how to engage in other areas of social interaction.

Like there’s so many other things to reach for. If you rely solely on the jokes you looked up a few days prior..yeah, it’s not gonna work.

Being yourself helps, and not trying to be funny if you aren’t.

mraees93 · 2020-09-27T01:36:43+00:00

It's an age old myth. A girl laughing at all jokes does not mean sexual attraction, if it was then Chris Rock, Kevin hart and will ferrell would be sex symbols.

Laughing builds attracion yes but not sexual attraction. You need real game to turn her on sexually. When I was fat I would make girls laugh at my jokes but I'm much leaner now and they don't laugh as much. Guess what version of me gets more women!...

tibles20 · 2020-09-26T16:13:23+00:00

I am very cheeky and flirty about football with my carer who moves me i don't try to be that is probably don't have a girlfriend i just got to keep on producing jokes

fiftycamelsworth · 2020-09-26T19:20:45+00:00

It's not about being "too funny" it's about having a one-sided conversation.

Women laugh at a lot of stuff, and sometimes it's just to be polite.

If you're just talking AT someone it becomes very clear to them that you are using them to feel validated, and they as a person are irrelevant to you. They quickly feel that they're just an audience for your insecure ass.

If you're not letting them talk, then they don't have any control over the conversation so you don't even know if they are vibing with what you're saying, or if it's an uncomfortable laugh. You're being a bad conversationalist.

Women want to feel like you see them and are listening to them. Maybe THEY are funny.

A much more impressive tactic is asking questions, and then responding by alternately making off the cuff gentle witty quips, restating what they said back to them to show you understand what they mean, asking questions to better understand, and sometimes interjecting interesting personal stories/ facts.

MetronTheCollector · 2020-09-26T20:09:48+00:00

This is a great post! I've been thinking about this recently, that my problem right now is I overgame. I make too many jokes, create too many emotions, etc; and not have enough normal conversation. And this has been ruining my interactions.

Less is more in social skills. Some jokes and effort is good. But too much and it destroys the interaction.

Glad you made this post OP. It was helpful for me to read it.

Uberslaughter · 2020-09-26T21:43:21+00:00

Interesting, most girls will tell you that find sense of humor one of the most attractive things a guy has to offer.

If he has one of course and it sounds like you don't OP.

thahotboyingrey · 2020-09-26T21:45:47+00:00

Imo attraction And Sexual tension are different Things imo. And yeah it doesn't necessarily diminishes the attractiveness of a person But at the same time it diminishes arousal. And being labeled as a “dancing monkey” by the chick will really diminish her attractiveness To you.

distraff · 2020-09-27T00:05:05+00:00

One problem with funny guys is that humor alone isn't enough to attract someone. Looks, shared interests, game, and other things are important too. So these guys try to be funny with women who were never going to be interested in the first place.

Another problem with too much humor is that it can get annoying to talk to something who is trying too hard to be funny all the time. People who overuse humor are often avoiding vulnerability. They are also needy and highly approval seeking from women. They are trying to be the charming one, when women are actually more flattered when you let them talk and find them charming. Many men also make themselves the but of their own jokes too much and this comes across as low self esteem.

But humor is important to seduction. It is one of the traits that is most attractive to women. It just have to be balanced and in the right context. One seduction technique is cocky funny where you combine humor with game and masculinity. Humor can be used to get a woman not to be nervous with a man and bond with him.

babylonsisters · 2020-09-27T08:41:14+00:00

Ok this sub was in my recommended with this as the highlighted post. Let me tell you, there is a thing with eye contact where it’s like... instant. She feels like even though you’re in a loud environment, you notice her and you like her. It’s like a crinkly eyes look. That’s fucking it! That’s it. Look at her like you’re pleased with her. That’s it. Look at her like it’s you and her and a fire, and that’s it. Girls are seduced by the vibe that the eyes give off. Who gives a fuck what a dude is saying, I won’t remember the conversation, as long as he gives me pleased looks (and isn’t too attention seeking). This has been a ramble, idec if I’m downvoted for whatever reason, I’m not part of this community. Good luck.

Janemba_Corvalis · 2020-09-26T20:23:18+00:00

Shut the fuck up

banamoo · 2020-09-26T18:38:57+00:00

OP has a grammar problem, girls hate stupidity. If you don’t want to attract an idiot, learn how to write, speak AND be funny. My thoughts, you are way too intense and girls likely get creeped out by your psychotic vibes .. meanwhile you get pissed at the funny (dancing monkey) that takes your girl home and bangs her .. hard.

queen0fdisaster · 2020-09-26T20:33:28+00:00

Is this the same for girls bc maybe this is why I always get friendzoned lol

Aspanu24 · 2020-09-26T20:38:05+00:00

Women love funny men 😆

greendot14 · 2020-09-26T20:58:02+00:00

dancing monkey ghehe

skullirang · 2020-09-26T22:10:00+00:00

There is a lot of generalization in this post. There are different styles of humor and certain styles are more attractive than others.

For example snappy clever humor is a lot more attractive than slapstick. Obscene humor can be seen as tasteless by a girl as opposed to story telling driven humor.

There are many ways to inject humor into a conversation. Just because someone manages to be funny doesn’t automatically make them a dancing monkey.

Additionally, you always need to switch to being genuine anyways whether you are funny or not otherwise you won’t build a connection. The two are not mutually inclusive. You can be the most unfunny guy and still need to be genuine at some point. You can also be the most unfunny guy and look like a dancing monkey by being a girl’s doormat.

Being funny is good. It makes you a more solid individual and a lot better person to hang out with. Don’t one of the idiots who are so stiff that you can’t have fun and laugh at yourself. That is just insecurity and is very unattractive. That being said, being funny is not a replacement for having a solid game. It’s almost like being an attractive guy, it gets your in the door, but it won’t get you on the bed.

Ashking01 · 2020-09-26T22:12:30+00:00

Actually I thought there was a study that said that if you made a girl laugh, you had higher chances of getting her number

thahotboyingrey · 2020-09-26T22:15:00+00:00

Attaboy Good job at being a socio/fascist/nasist/psychopath... Jk lmao

2020-09-26T22:23:55+00:00

I disagree. All I have is being funny and I’ve had girls very interested in me before.

2020-09-26T23:42:57+00:00

So never show emotion to the female gender.

babyarmnate · 2020-09-26T23:52:17+00:00

Fellas, is it unattractive to make women laugh?

ohnobobo-bobo · 2020-09-27T00:28:26+00:00

Well shoot I guess I'm attracted to dancing monkeys then.

Mabans · 2020-09-27T00:58:44+00:00

THe heck? Being funny is the closest thing you can get to fucking. Being funny and a good lover both have similar expectations. If you're good, your lauded, suck at it you'll get boo'd.

Raidco · 2020-09-27T01:07:05+00:00

Tbh this advice isn’t necessary,people in this sub are over thinking the shit out of things honestly

CrunchyWolf · 2020-09-27T01:17:30+00:00

This post pretty much amounts up to “Have depth and be more than a one trick pony”. Trying to always be the funny guy won’t even get you far in friendships, of course you’re gonna have to show off other sides of your person. It’s getting to the point where you can just write the most trivial of things, fluff it up and then pass it off as dating advice. Nothing wrong with being funny. Not everyone who’s funny is a clown. For example myself and many others have a natural wit (fuck you let me brag) and we can interject humor into conversation and topic with our quick remarks. No goofy voices or dancing around, just simple comments that get people belly aching. And of course you’re gonna have to be more than just a some quip dropper, but there’s nothing wrong with just being a funny dude. Funny=/= Clown

iambrian81 · 2020-09-27T03:00:16+00:00

So much bullshit theories lol. Trust me, comedian gets laid with tons of girls. It’s all about calibration

itsallhoopla · 2020-09-27T03:21:03+00:00

Sounds like something someone would say if they weren't very funny.

YoDaddy1069 · 2020-09-27T04:30:47+00:00

I guess I would fall under the category of “dancing monkey”. I’m a very funny guy and all my friends try to push me to be a stand up comic, but I’d rather stay in school. I’m ok at flirting, but I do very well at being funny and building attraction through that. I’ve had girls who are 10/10 gorgeous girls that I’ve went through this scenario with. The best advice that helped me, is that right when I feel I’m at the peak of excitement, I find an excuse to leave and tell her I’ll be back. Then later when I come back, she might be excited to see me and if she is then I know that she’s into me and I know where I stand with her. There are some girls who just think they’re too good for you no matter what, don’t ever waste your time chasing those girls. You are the prize

smoledman · 2020-09-27T04:48:20+00:00

If you don't have a long jawline, you're toast.

ecphotoman · 2020-09-27T05:05:24+00:00

Suggestion: Be yourself. Seriously though, if she wants to have sex with you she will. Girls like to laugh, but don’t be a complete clown. Use the occasional one liner and that’s it.

ganglehand · 2020-09-27T05:34:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sixeco · 2020-09-27T06:45:34+00:00

I totally thought you were gonna suggest to drop the funny thing...

Then you did th switch

myevilalt · 2020-09-27T07:59:29+00:00

Personally, I prefer to go from jokes to introducing a teasing/flirtatious element before transitioning to genuine interaction. After a bit of flirting, I’ll usually say “So tell me, ...” in a playful but half serious way, or something like that, to transition into a more genuine interaction.

I find it makes for a more natural flow to wedge sexual between playful and genuine, than if I abruptly change gears. It’s also nice to establish sexual interest early.

But bottom line is, do whatever works best for you

addy16a2 · 2020-09-27T08:11:17+00:00

Who asked you to go overboard with your jokes? If your not aware of the boundries, where to stop being a joker then you'll end up being a dancing monkey.

OCSleazy · 2020-09-27T09:40:06+00:00

Tldr. Y’all forgetting most important part of the game is building sexual tension

DANGERFLASH · 2020-09-27T11:21:58+00:00

absolute trash talk lmao, girls said they fucked with me cause i am funny, so wtf u are talking about

Hammerhead9 · 2020-09-27T11:49:21+00:00

Lol it’s a lot more nuanced than this

ManHands22 · 2020-09-26T22:19:35+00:00

You kinda hit on it. Just escalate and use kino after you make her laugh, cause after all, you're trying to get laid. Thats what a man does. A clown is content to make her laugh all night.

PieSakuraTea · 2020-09-26T23:44:23+00:00

I’ve always struggled being funny, sometimes i make people laugh when I’m dead serious. Sometimes I feel like I’m too serious? This is not just girls but people in general. I can talk to most people but I’d like to have fun instead of being serious all the time

AnthonyAValera · 2020-09-26T19:19:30+00:00

she wasn’t sexually available in the first place. verbal game is NOT real. game is grabbing the girl and fucking her in a private location. if she rejects that, then she wasn’t even sexually available in the first place. girls will talk to if they’re bored, doesn’t mean they will sleep with u. u can be funny if you want and that’s ur personality, but that shouldn’t be what ur thinking in ur head. u should be thinking, “lets see if this girl is DTF,” “where’s a good place for me to fuck her?” that’s if ur trying to get laid. if ur just trying to entertain girls, then entertain them. DO WHAT YOU WANT.

Colonelfudgenustard · 2020-09-26T18:30:49+00:00

It is better to be feared than liked. Genghis Khan understood this, and he fathered many children.

Title	Why Being “Funny” Is Killing Your Attraction [Dancing Monkey Syndrome]
Author	Gabriel_Grey
Upvotes	837
Comments	143
Date	September 26, 2020 3:24 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j07xm3/why_being_funny_is_killing_your_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-being-funny-is-killing-your-attraction-dancing.1428243 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428243

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