The feminist culture of "victim worship" generates more than false rapes. Gay waitress falsely accuses family of refusing tip due to homophobia ... just to get attention.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2013-11-27T07:39:03+00:00

The "feminist" culture of victim worship?

I agree that victim worship is a bad thing. But it is hardly something which is created by feminism.

Victim worship is partly obvious, in that people naturally loathe injustice/cruelty and so we hate the perpetrators of such acts and soothe the anguish of the victims of these acts. This is reasonable - humans empathize with other humans and as such we don't naturally enjoy each other's suffering.

But there are plenty of cultural enforcers of victim-worship. It isn't just about feminism. Go into any Catholic church and look at who is on the cross.

If you want to challenge "victim worship" than you need to challenge a lot more than feminism.

TacticusThrowaway · 2013-11-27T05:47:06+00:00

I don't think this has to do with feminism so much as the Internet. Everyone likes a good narrative.

Higev · 2013-11-27T04:14:41+00:00

Well first I must say the only evidence for either side is documents they provided rather than documents retrieved from the source, so either party could have doctored them.

However...

I can't see that some anonymous family would go through the trouble of faking a receipt and credit card statement when they were in no way personally identifiable as the customers in the first place, so if asked I'm inclined to believe the family. In terms of motive, the only one the family would have is if they're complete assholes of Westboro caliber. While on the other hand the waitress could be pulling that classic, never failing 'Sarkeesian Scam' for cash and fame.

philosarapter · 2013-11-27T14:56:25+00:00

Can we get a mod to remove this? This has nothing to do with Men's rights.

misingnoglic · 2013-11-27T06:05:50+00:00

Huh?? I'm honestly shocked. What the /fuck/ does this have to do with Mens Rights? This subreddit has actually turned into a bunch of boys crying about how feminists are evil. No wonder they think men's rights is an idiotic cause...

Edit: If you respond to this please don't equate feminism with Social Justice Warriors or manipulative women unless you want me to be angry at you that is all. (also thanks for gold <3)

Edit2: If anyone's still reading this I'd just like to say I attack Tumblr posts with this same kind of thinking on the other side too. Let's try and get along :)

2013-11-27T11:02:18+00:00

I don't think this belongs in men's rights

Sir_wank_alot · 2013-11-27T11:46:51+00:00

This has nothing to do with mensrights. This is LGBT related. Please use your head before posting unrelated articles.

60secs · 2013-11-27T05:25:15+00:00

Support your claim, not merely what you are comparing to.

P and Q are similar in respect to properties a, b, and c. P has been observed to have further property x. Therefore, Q probably has property x also.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_analogy

2013-11-27T12:17:43+00:00

mr needs to stop posting random bad stuff that happens in the world and claiming it's MR. That is the exact equivalent of what feminist outlets do, and it's why they are ridiculous.

wikewabbits · 2013-11-27T13:29:09+00:00

The handwriting she faked looked very "feminine". I highly doubt she was trying to target men specifically. This has nothing to do with men's rights.

senseofdecay · 2013-11-27T05:31:49+00:00

This isn't really feminist culture. The gay community uses the same tactic. Here's what somebody commented about this story on another sub:

I'm gay. This is unfortunately becoming a disturbing trend I'm seeing in our community .....this notion that in order to achieve equality we need to continue being victims. This is a pretty large scale example of it, but I see it coming down to little things, like throwing fits over improper use of terminology in an obviously non-malicious setting (I very recently heard someone lose it after being asked about their sexual preference when orientation was the intended meaning.)

poiurewq · 2013-11-27T09:54:11+00:00

it was not about attention so much as it was about donation$

2013-11-27T10:02:54+00:00

Was that story made up?

See, the problem is that we hear so much about it happening and so little of the retraction. That the damage is already done.

CosmicKeys · 2013-11-27T06:32:00+00:00

If there was ever a "What does this have to do with men's rights", this is it.

The fact that this has 116 upvotes changes my mind about this sub. I mean, random true blue misogynists - I get they're going to wander in. That's going to happen. Hell, lost of people upvoting things that step over the line into genuine misogny, totally get that's going to happen.

But this is just meaningless for MRAs. There is nothing positive for men here. If anything this is negativity for gay/bi/trans men. Rather than fighting false statistics about victimization, you're picking on a class of people actually victimized more by most statistical measures across the board just because you found one dumbass. Reminds me of /r/niggers.

Yet another point on the board towards the accusation that this is a straight white upper class men's movement. I'm sure there'll be many more threads circlejerking about how /r/MensRights are the true egalitarians in the future that will completely ignore this thread. Get a grip.

nelsonblaha · 2013-11-27T14:44:06+00:00

"The feminist culture of victim worship" sounds humorously like "The patriarchal culture of _____" strawman arguments this subreddit generally questions.

gsettle · 2013-11-27T03:42:19+00:00

To be a victim you gotta have a story, right?

Revoran · 2013-11-27T15:15:19+00:00

This report was clearly false, and I'm glad that stupid girl was called out on it. However it brings up a relevant point which is that the tipping system in America is therefore ridiculous.

Tipping does not create some sort of perfect meritocracy. Sure, better service tends to lead to better tips but:

People tip females - particularly attractive females - more than males.
People tend to tip black servers less.
Black customers also tend to tip servers less even when the servers were also black.
Servers report reluctance to serve blacks and hispanics due to a perception that those groups tip lower.

Tipping doesn't encourage better service when compared to simply paying people a wage they can actually live on and then allowing tips/a tip jar on top of that (which is what sane countries do).

The same false logic applied to tipping servers whilst paying them dirt (that it "encourages better work" and is therefore OK) can be applied to most other jobs from builders to business executives, yet servers are the only group that get paid third-world wages and are expected to make up the rest in tips.

This reveals the true reason for America's tipping system - it's just an excuse for business owners to pay their employees dirt wages.

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-11-27T03:47:49+00:00

The last bit.

If that's the case this waitress is facing some serious serious consequences.

Fired that's the worse that could happen.

shrodingerstherapist · 2013-11-28T01:52:49+00:00

It wasn't fraud by the server, it was a cry for help from a victim who's been crushed by the iron heel of Teh Patriarchy… or something like that.

2013-11-29T09:51:26+00:00

When you preauth a credit card, you get two receipts, they can both be filled out differently, and more can be printed if the restaurant wants to print more. Neither copy proves anything, especially considering that the customer copy doesn't need to be filled out at all. Basically there is no conclusive way of proving either side is lying.

neightdog · 2013-11-27T05:25:56+00:00

22 years old and already a 'former' marine? Yeah that sounds fishy

AndrewLevin · 2013-11-27T03:12:10+00:00

Here is the original story, dripping with sympathy baiting and attention seeking. The behavior is very similar to false rape accusers.

ShitDickMcCuntFace · 2013-11-27T17:13:14+00:00

The restaurant's general manager, Byron Lapola, said the money that came in still will be donated.

HOW ABOUT REFUNDING IT YOU ASS?

mrwhibbley · 2013-11-27T17:08:48+00:00

unless I missed something I have not sen where it was confirmed that the waitress lied. I see a merchant recipt that was signed with no tip shown, and the "no tip" amount as the total. Then I see a customer copy (that I usually take, but do not sign or add a tip amount or total) that has $18 added and a different total on the line. The customer copy is easy enough to fake, as is a photoshopped credit card bill. I am interested to see how this plays out, but right now I do not see the waitress as a liar, and if anything, the customer just opened themselves up to a defamation lawsuit.

insaneHoshi · 2013-11-27T11:30:35+00:00

Way i see it the gay server had as much reason to make up the whole thing as the customers putting a tip on the customer copy and covering their asses.

humanityisavirus · 2013-11-28T02:57:16+00:00

ITT: a whoole fuuuckton of concern trolls.

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