In these trying times our country is deeply divided, but hopefully we can at least all agree on an unyielding admiration for the late great Vonnegut. Here are his thoughts on marriage in divorce according to his memoir "A Man Without a Country":

"OK, now let’s have some fun. Let’s talk about sex. Let’s talk about women. Freud said he didn’t know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything.

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn’t get so mad at them.

Why are so many people getting divorced today? It’s because most of us don’t have extended families anymore. It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to.

A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The Navahos. The Kennedys.

But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the other person. The groom gets one more pal, but it’s a woman. The woman gets one more person to talk to about everything, but it’s a man.

When a couple has an argument, they may think it’s about money or power or sex, or how to raise the kids, or whatever. What they’re really saying to each other, though, without realizing it, is this: “You are not enough people!”

I met a man in Nigeria one time, an Ibo who has six hundred relatives he knew quite well. His wife had just had a baby, the best possible news in any extended family.

They were going to take it to meet all its relatives, Ibos of all ages and sizes and shapes. It would even meet other babies, cousins not much older than it was. Everybody who was big enough and steady enough was going to get to hold it, cuddle it, gurgle to it, and say how pretty it was, or handsome.

Wouldn't you have loved to be that baby?"

Thoughts?

Editing to include my opinion: the point (supposedly) of a big wedding is to gather a large group of social stakeholders who will support the couple and their marriage, and hold them accountable to their vows. So in that sense I'm #teamVonnegut on this one, although modern weddings have definitely drifted from that original intent

The other point is here is that we expect our spouses to be our "everything" and are disappointed when they're not. Which is obviously stupid and a recipe for failure, tho I disagree that extended family would sufficiently address that.