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View 5 posts and 499 comments by asoww on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Not being ok with her actions but still staying with her while publicly pressuring her to change is absolutely controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:26 AM
2

Well said... unfortunately not surprising.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:24 AM
2

No they are not two separate actions. They are intertwined. You still don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:22 AM
2

So you assume that because she became a mother, she should change. Why ?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:20 AM
1

These threads are incel hell
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 01:42 AM
1

Incels, touch grass, go outside, do something productive of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 01:39 AM
1

The incel's mind is really something. They are mad at women because they can't get laid and feel entitled to women's bodies. Cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 01:35 AM
30

But he gets caught every time lol... like what's the point of doing the same scam over and over again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/23 11:03 PM
63

So many men tried to make me believe this. Us women need to snap out of this invented scenario that serves men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/22 12:45 AM
50

Agree. And in the case of Zanab, Cole's comments were racially charged as well. That was totally overlooked during the episode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/22 09:50 PM
13

It looks like it is sorting from new comments and not new posts. So if someone writes a new comment on an old post then that post appears first. Idk how to change it but yeah it's annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/22 10:58 AM
37

Your post is a breeze of fresh air around here. I'm right here with you. Well, I don't think I was that bad at dating, as my exes behaved like gentlemen when they tried to seduce me and then when they showed their real sides, the relationship would end (either I initiated the break up or they did but it would always stem from me noticing and not accepting the red flags). Although I wish I had so much more confidence and self worth, which would have prevented me from being so heartbroken over unw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 01:19 AM
147

I've started living alone almost a month ago. It is literally amazing. My space is a great source of confort and strength I can go back to it whenever, without having to deal with any toxic poeple around me The feeling of being independent and in control of my adult life is priceless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 12:44 AM
8

Unfortunately optimism has left this sub long ago The comments on your post are so depressing lol Well I hope your situation turns out well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 02:19 PM
6

I'm sorry but this is going too far. The majority of poeple find their partner at work. They did not all jeopardise their careers while doing so. Maybe OP will not make the mistakes you did and will properly vet and assess the situation before even agreeing to a date with the guy if he is interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 02:14 PM
49

And the most important : let's have fun!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 03:59 AM
22

This is the type of men I would see myself with, as a highly achieving person myself. The two guys I met (a lawyer and a surgeon) that I Iiked seemed pretty ego driven and overworked. And I know it's kind of the norm in these professions... thanks for this awesome post anyway ! BTW, there are statistics that show that high achieving men tend to want to settle later once they finish degrees + start being comfortable in their career (same for women).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 11:13 PM
20

Well I personally, would simply reject him and move on. It's not because someone displays insecurities that I automatically need to take advantage of the person. I have more self control than that and I don't need that much validation. Someone who takes advantage of a pickme or anyone who has low self esteem is low value to me, because they have nothing better to do with their lives than entertain such situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 01:09 AM
15

LVM disrespect women regardless of whether they have an easy access to their vagina or not. HVM respect women irregardless of how easy they access said vagina. The line of thinking you're displaying, saying that Pickmes are responsible for men's disrespect toward women is so toxic and the reason why poeple tend to stop going on FDS. Again, men are responsible for their own behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 12:38 AM
17

Lol no, men don't need pickmes to achieve this goal. Stop making women responsible for men's behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 10:55 PM
20

So I talked to two girlfriends who did exactly that. It is sad. So sad. In my worst pickme days I would have never. Fortunately one of my friends is currently leveling up. The other one is ready to cross the ocean to see that guy who just moved abroad. She believes that "depending on whether he acts like we're in a LDR" she'll fly to see him, but he has already told her during the two years of situationship that he does not want to be with her. She also suddenly got approached by her ex who has …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 10:48 PM
43

Girl you ain't alone....... for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 11:04 PM
24

Are you me ? Same. I was extremely jealous of my brother and my parents made me feel incredibly guilty for that. It took me years to realise that maybe my jealousy was just a consequence of the double standards in which I and my brother grew up, and the fact that my brother's life was pretty much prioritised over mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 12:27 AM
69

Truth 😂 I love this show
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 05:01 AM
8

Totally disagree with that take, I feel like the underlying accusations and suspicions of domestic abuse are overblown out of proportion. I think that men should use their force to defend themselves or their loved ones. To each their own but I don't know why that would be against FDS. Ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 04:58 AM
55

• Emotionally available and mature • Provider mindset (even if we share the financial burden, I want him to step up if he has the chance to, especially when I'm pregnant) • Strong and secure. Aka, physically and mentally (if he has traumas, he should have worked through them in therapy) • Has humour that aligns with mine • Intellectual and socially conscious, humble and always open to learn • Takes care of himself, his home, the poeple he loves • A good leader, who takes responsibility for his a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 01:24 AM
32

It was particularly obvious during this episode because at some point one of them asks Savannah what she thinks and Savannah gets interrupted and the other one answers instead. Although I have the opposite opinion of Savannah's, I still was interested in hearing her. For one of the previous episode, I was so frustrated that I decided to ask Savannah directly on discord about her opinion on a certain topic she couldn't elaborate enough lol. Which I got. I feel like maybe they need to divide the e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 01:17 AM
174

Well I feel like Community d*ck is a very appropriate term, should be more popular
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 01:10 AM
22

I was in your friend's shoes 5 years ago and one year later after "using men", the only thing that was left of me was a self esteem in shambles and state of absolute burn out with a dose of trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 01:08 AM
33

Reminds me of when I met a guy from OLD, he lives super far away but he already knew 4 of my female acquaintances or friends, they were following him on IG. Also lied about his main job which was DJ (he only talked about his IT job). Anyways, he gave me "I have a harem of hot women who I consider ~friends~" , so I blocked and deleted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 11:51 PM
27

I personally love these shows, we can learn more about red flags and how pickmeism does not benefit women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 06:15 AM
22

At the same time, it is their age too. I had terrible self esteem before reaching 25. No wonder our brains finish developing at that age. Only past 25 I started slowly but surely building my self esteem up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 08:10 AM
7

It has been an issue for a long time unfortunately on this sub. Thank you for pointing it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 05:48 AM
33

I mean she could have got that job in Paris and get transferred to London. The need to romanticise everything.... So glad I've never moved for any boy lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 01:04 AM
5

Ooop, say it louder for the poeple in the back tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 05:11 AM
5

Thank you so much, you said everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:35 AM
21

That's a no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 02:22 PM
112

Silence, vagueness, ambiguous replies. I learnt through bad experience that if it's not clear and informed, it is bad news. You don't need to go further than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 12:37 AM
46

I swear lmaoooo Now she doesn't need to ask the husband's but .. the son's?? In which world does this fool love in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 03:39 AM
5

2 but it as almost 7 years ago when it was an actual dating app. And they did not last long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 10:39 AM
2

Beautiful story, thank you for sharing 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 10:33 AM
122

What gets me the most is how women excuse their husbands for everything even the worse but don't hesitate to make their children take the blame or scapegoat them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 01:55 AM
62

Outside of FDS, poeple would downplay this to hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 01:49 AM
119

The way he writes omg....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:51 PM
16

"It wasn't like this years ago." Uhm, it pretty much sounds like the typical traditional marriage so I disagree. The irony is that lib fems fail to see this 50/50 mentality was is easily used by men to... maintain their power while spending less money on us than in a very traditional marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 09:00 PM
37

My current roommate also sleeps in the living room : he snores and farts. My room is upstairs and I hear everything. I was bedridden for a week because of COVID and it was awful. I told him to sleep in his f*cking room and told the manager as well to make it a rule at least until the end of February. I'm looking to move out in April. I'm not even a girlfriend or a wife and now I have to bear snoring and farting NVM in the living room ? Like......... who does he think he is by occupying the commo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 01:53 AM
24

The actual consequence of dating a negative value male... you literally can get yourself fired and homeless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 01:45 AM
21

That is what I have always believed. Everyone is 100% responsible for their actions and the choice they make. This is how you do not victim blame. Because no matter what women do, men's actions or reactions are their very own choices, and telling women they are "causing" men to act or react violently is victim blaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 12:34 AM
11

Can't he be sued for sexual exploitation? The audacity of these men...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:29 PM
10

I just want to tell you that I was in your shoes a year ago. I stopped dating for 10 months because I definitely needed to take more care of myself. Not only is it important to see men's red flags, but the comment you made about hoping he won't do anything to you is a red flag. About yourself. The simple fact that you are low-key begging for someone else not to treat you the way you fear being treating not only means that you don't trust yourself enough to make the right call (red flag n°2) but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:45 AM
12

Well I hope to find one this year 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 01:49 AM
11

What an a****** I just......
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 01:32 AM
51

I love when things don't go according to their plan 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 01:09 AM
9

Some days the posts get really dark. When I see too many of them I log off. You can also report when it's too negative and doesn't add much value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 01:03 AM
41

And last minute date deserves a block
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 12:26 AM
10

Oop, just when I was thinking about moving to increase my chances of finding a HVM after my PhD.... thank you for calling my a** out lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 12:19 AM
5

Thanks babe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 12:10 AM
27

A TW for titles like these would be nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 11:23 PM
65

I love how literally no one not even his mother supported him lmaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 12:03 PM
1259

The brother's answer is infuriating. No wonder women feel like settling when poeple who are close to them are acting like that. Imagine protecting some random friend's rude behavior over your own sister. Infuriating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:46 AM
76

I absolutely love the ending and the Queen moves. It was endearing to watch. I'm just glad I'd never get to meet such a man because I would have blocked him from the first interactions based on what they said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 11:46 PM
113

Yes. I actually reported a post because it was way too harsh. Sometimes the tough love is more of a pickmebashing and reeks of internalised misogyny. It's not a HV behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 11:44 PM
16

Slow clap, well said queen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 12:49 AM
66

I found out that the peak of Marilyn Monroe's career, one of the most famous desirable woman on earth, was at 32. Men have been trying to convince us we peak at 22. I was such a mess at 22. This is ridiculous and I understood the last few days that I don't want to waste any more time worrying about my age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 06:33 AM
101

I'm reaching 30 this year and it has been a big source of stress and a real work to undo all the ingrained misogyny regarding women's age. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 05:16 AM
8

Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 03:18 AM
48

There is nothing more infuriating than amazing women ending up with literal dusties
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:05 AM
63

I love your fresh take because I absolutely encountered men who fit that description perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 11:57 PM
3

Well I did this two times so far. I just say "hi" smiles and let the guy talk and then I go with the flow. Nothing too deep, it's just an introduction. I'm checking the vibe, his face, confirming our date. It doesn't last more than 10 mins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 11:29 PM
7

Adding in : Videocall before the first date ! Many will not even do that. Block and delete if he doesn't accept, if he looks/acts weird during the call etc. It helped me weed out before a first date ! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 02:50 AM
5

Definitely inspiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 01:33 AM
21

At first my therapist was a bit iffy and now she's totally on board hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 01:35 AM
16

Oop, let me Subscribe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 07:48 AM
12

I'm sure she'll remember you when she grows up and it will be useful to her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 03:07 AM
3

Wow. Your mindset is goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:35 PM
58

Omg I wish the FDS podcast would roast him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 06:25 AM
47

Idk, I think he has mommy issues in general.... gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:15 AM
2

I hope he'll keep this mindset forever, I want to have a very similar kind of love. Happy for you OP, and keep vetting 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:26 AM
116

I had a "friend " (25M) who would only date women 35+ and who would turn into a controlling abusive pos when they didn't do what he wanted He tried it with me, thanks to him I understood I'm done with straight male friendships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:14 AM
35

I hope cause with the whole Hammer scandal we never know....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 06:41 AM
130

Story of my life Glad you're not falling into the trap. It's hard because I grew up with a very moody hot and cold parental figure who has claimed endlessly that they love me unconditionally. That's when you internalise the belief that hot and cold is actual interest. Took me the longest time to get off that train.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 01:27 AM
307

They drank each other's blood ?? Wait a minute...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 01:22 AM
369

So she wants to put another woman in the same trap instead of kicking him out ? Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 10:03 AM
24

Someone in his early 30's who asked me that before a first date would have been blocked right after I don't do textuationships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 08:34 AM
23

I haven't seen the movie since the book already disgusted me ... written by the actual protagonist (semi-autobiographic novel). It's full of orientalism as well. When I think it's considered as one of the best book written by a woman in French literature ... 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 07:10 AM
123

I love writing down my very first impression of someone to vet them, especially men of course but not only, and it always, always turns out to be spot on as I look back weeks or months later. I did that so often that I don't feel like I need to write it anymore, I became very alert and make notes in my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 12:44 AM
53

Omg I blocked a guy after two dates because he'd give me exactly the vibes you're describing... dodged a bullet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 12:37 AM
23

The last sentence is so on point. I've observed men since FDS and have noticed a continuous theme emerging from their behaviour. Their n°1 question when they start noticing I'm attracted to them even if it's partially is, "how can I take advantage of the situation?". I wish more women could SEE that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 11:54 PM
10

Wow 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 04:16 AM
31

My parents have 11 years of difference and weirdly enough I've never been attracted to older guys and I've always found them creepy..... go figure but I sure never viewed that part of my parents' relationship in a good light and I cannot pinpoint why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 12:34 AM
20

Apparently, Jia and Hyun Joong broke up, I wonder if he dropped his efforts right after getting her. I feel like for Jia, it would take her a lot of time for trusting a guy. I cannot label Hyun Joong as HVM, because I felt like none of them tried to get to know the authentic Jia, and actually vetted her for compatibility (so, show that THEY know that THEY are of value, too). They all rushed based on their first impression and the thrill. And she is very clever. I'm 100% sure she felt it. It's su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 12:30 AM
37

Honestly, poeple tend to solely focus on women's faults all the time, including here. It's a patriarcal reflex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 04:52 AM
79

The replies are appalling regardless of the context. The men replying would like to deceive her even if she was transparent about what she wants. Why the need to deceive, trick her ? Domination from men in any form of heterosexual encounter is like a reflex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 03:00 AM
183

Why does he absolutely want to bring her to his brother's wedding if not for clearly marking himself as taken on a public event and therefore access a certain status ? So he wants the status and every superficial benefit of it without the paperwork and obligations. He could totally go by himself, I don't see the big deal. Unless if it's for the reasons mentioned above. I never understood why couples have to stick together like they're glued anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 04:17 AM
42

Lol I blocked a guy that I went on two dates with who would not tell me that he wanted to do 50/50 at some point (cause he knew from the start I would have dumped him right there) but I could tell he wasn't comfortable with how the things were. Instead of having the balls to say it out loud, he proceeded to shit test me so I blocked him This generation has only the audacity going for them. I outsmart pretty much all of the guys I've ever dated which always make them have a pikachu face, and I ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 01:03 AM
5

Well, all I can say is that I'm right where you are!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 02:14 AM
51

One of my roommate is ugly, fat, and most importantly takes 0 care of himself and doesn't have enough money to afford living alone although he is part of the most privileged social group where I live. I could see he had a crush on me and to seduce me he proceeded by playing the nice guy (doing things for me) while negging me time to time and introduce me to his myriad of friends and then negging me some more in front of everyone. I was very overworked at that time and it's at my most vulnerable …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 08:37 AM
5

This right here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 08:12 AM
6

I disagree... If he sets a pace that you don't like, you can just cut him off. Anxious attachment styles should only look for secure attachment styles. So OP should let him naturally decide the pace and then decide if it suits her or not. If OP is enough into the guy after he's proven initial seriousness, then OP may want to communicate her needs to re-adjust the relationship when needed and see if he respects that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 08:11 AM
9

Personally, yes I am busy with my own life but when I decide to date, I am very serious about who I give a chance to. So I look into their pattern of communication very closely from the start. If the way they court me doesn't bring me much happiness but more anxiety, I'm out. So I don't think I could ever do 2 months with an avoidant anymore. I want to feel secure from the start and continuously with the man I'm dating. I don't deal with insecure feelings anymore when it comes to relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 07:59 AM
10

Cooking traditional Japanese meals with my friend! Then chilling at home I guess :) Preparing for 2022 ～
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 12:56 PM
17

I hope I can find this kind of love, thanks OP 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:35 PM
30

I could not deal the way they treated Molly as a character. She always rejected men at first for mostly valid reasons: She did not want to be with a married man, didn't want to be with a man who may be gay, didn't want to date outside her race (-> that one, as a bw, I may disagree with...) and then had issues with the fact that he wouldn't open up. But every time Issa was like "But at least that married man is honest" (wtf who cares), or "you can't decide what you want to do with a man based on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 08:16 PM
9

I hope she'll remain alive as long as possible and escape him someday... she met a very sadistic man who seems particularly dangerous....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 07:50 PM
2

Yeah that's what I want to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 07:00 AM
49

I have very bad vibes from reading this whole conversation. It's just too much too soon. The best dating that I've done this year was to go slowly, very slowly. Poeple reveal themselves without you having to put any effort. Your friend may want to consider that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 07:25 AM
12

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:19 AM
5

Cheers to that! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:15 AM
25

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:58 AM
47

You didn't mess up though.... How is initiating once, "mess up"? Just because he showed his real intentions later on ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:56 AM
6

When I'm scrolling too much negative content I go on Pinterest for a while lol Also I've been too glued on my phone lately, can't wait for the winter vacation to re-center on quality hobbies like reading, writing and knitting as well as sports.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 01:48 AM
12

Which purpose does he have to save these nudes ? This is a red flag. Glad you're ending it tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 01:32 AM
70

Regardless the debate, your brother's actions are just wildly inappropriate imo... His friend has beliefs and boundaries surrounding Sexuality, and your brother does not respect them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 04:54 AM
49

I agree with you entirely. Added to that, some users here are forgetting that "choosing" to stay in a situation can also be an unconscious reaction to a vulnerable state whatever the reason is (A childhood trauma or a recent event, it could be anything). Some western users unfortunately have that mentality that every single thing within a human's life is because of the individual's doing and forget to question the context (Sometimes it's irrelevant and other times it isn't ). But that is also a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 06:57 AM
171

"Treat me like an option and I'll drop you like a choice"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 02:39 AM
31

Because human beings want genuine fulfilling relationships ? They can live without them, yes, but seeking them is part of life. There are different kind of relationships, romantic relationships are as important as the rest. I'm getting tired of the negative pessimistic disguised as pragmatic tone on here lately. Honestly that's one of the reason for the last shutdown and it's getting old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 10:30 AM
34

Looking forward to the replies on this post 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 11:17 PM
63

Aka he thinks he is the prize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 02:50 AM
17

Honestly, men around my age are immature and stupid and are still trying to stay in the hookup culture where I live (I'm 29). When I talk to older men (5-6 years older), they are definitely more pro-active in pursuing a serious relationship with me. It's kind of difficult not to look at older men as a more viable option than men that are my age. I'm not 17 like where your mom so the dynamics are different. My dad is 11 years older than my mom. They got married when they were well into adulthood …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 12:19 AM
9

Oh my, the comments, I love these young sisters 💗 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 07:45 AM
13

I did that exercise maybe more than a year ago when I was reading the book. I want a partner who is deeply respectful toward others, thoughtful, mature and who enjoys life. He should have a strong character (aka boundaries) and be able to protect who he loves (me and our future family). Someone committed who wants the same things as me (family, marriage) in the next few years. I want to enjoy a joyful every day life with someone who is attracted to me because of my personality, my independant mi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 09:01 PM
5

Totally feel you OP! It's difficult to go through sometimes. I'm looking for my partner. But I don't know when I will meet him, is it in a few years or is it tomorrow ?? In the meantime, I promise to make myself as happy as I can, find great meaning in life, meet men and eliminate all the LVM until I find my HVM, and forge great relationships with poeple. Also, loneliness is not an anomaly. It is a very human experience that everyone goes through. Learning to navigate it makes you gain so much w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:07 AM
8

An accomplished woman who is also happy in love and doesn't settle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:08 AM
15

Thank you sis !! I needed that. Time to BLOCK & DELETE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 04:07 AM
97

This is so true. When I talk about my career, I have a lot of poeple complementing me but in the scope of dating, they ghost me or lose interest or barely compliment me and prefer talking about themselves. It's rare when a man says "Wow you're amazing for doing all that". Men feel so superior, sometime I can tell they're impressed but they purposely UNDER react. I know it's an easy vetting strategy but it's so annoying. I went on a date with a guy who did feel very impressed/amazed. He was a law…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 01:30 AM
18

I knew it , hence why I was not gonna watch it My expectations for French movies are very low....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:27 AM
60

One of the cutest video ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:20 AM
20

Thew whole movie is sexist, racist and just bad. What was even the point ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 12:32 AM
6

Sorry , yeah I misunderstood the point you were making. I agree entirely with you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 08:03 AM
35

You could vet for a long time and still see your husband turn abusive long after the marriage. Yes OP made mistakes rushing the relationship (or not putting on brakes), she sounds desperate and desperation is the favorite flavor of abusers. However, I think it's more important to emphasise the fact women should leave at the first sign of abuse/red flag instead of the status of the relationship or the quality of vetting. At the end of the day, men are responsible for their own behaviour, and ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 02:56 AM
70

What does it have to do with being married ? You could be married and a man could still start abusing you after doing all the right things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 11:39 PM
64

The way he thinks shows how actually insecure he is. I bet he lost his mind once a woman treated him the same way he treats woman. "How can she forget about ME and move on?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 11:31 PM
32

I hope this girl will escape this creep and fast....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 11:39 AM
24

Although I would love to meet a HVM, I'm pretty much on the same boat. LVM make me rage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:05 AM
1

Oh yeah. My dad used to say so many bad things to me when I was a child. It seriously impacted me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:38 AM
8

I think it's easier for women to change. They are the ones who buy more books about inner work. They are the ones who seek more help when needed. They are the driving factor for the success of the "self-care" industry. Women take care of themselves that is why they are more prone to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 09:28 AM
101

I wish he'd read this comment lmao The fact that he is feeling superior to these women... YUCK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 04:46 AM
54

I think it's a good indicator for knowing whether or not a man would marry AND predicting the quality of the married life. Aka a low value marriage is def not a good model for the children... talking with experience, my parents have been married for a long time and miserable together. I had to work very hard to understand there are other models of married life possible and heal my fear of commitment .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 03:42 AM
312

She's great and yeah of course a guy would ask her out. Die mad, scrotes Edit : omg the comments quoted in the title.... I reiterate : die mad scrotes !!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:57 PM
25

You may want to only date guys who have a good mental health in the future. Or to be honest, take care of your mental health before dating anyone. I think he is LVM and that you should dump him, to answer your question. Also, anger issues is a straight up red flag, abandon ship kind of situation right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 05:51 PM
25

I totally hear you, as a PhD student. But let me ask you a question , why would dating in your field be unprofessional? As long as you don't share the same office, I feel like you could eventually try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 01:19 AM
8

"Looking to see where things go" is from my experience, the type of guy who will tell you that when he is "just not that into you" but will def become committed if he is really unto you. I don't think you should totally eliminate them off of your list. But men who state clearly they want a relationship are definitely more HV imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 10:45 PM
19

About the positive attitude, lately I've seen a lot of men who say they like women with positive attitude on their profiles or they don't like negativity. I think it's a big red flag. Whenever you're having a tough time for whatever reason they're gonna nope the f out and become emotionally unavailable. Or they don't have empathy. A nightmare waiting to happen. You dodged a huge bullet op.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:12 AM
1

Oh wow. That rings a bell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:05 AM
3

I feel like this post would be great on @femalelevelupstrategy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:40 AM
16

Hmmmm. I personally hate when men put zero efforts into a date. It should be a special occasion during which you introduce yourself, and when you introduce yourself to the world then you want to mirror your best qualities/attributes, to me it goes for both men and women. At the same time, when you overdress, LVM can view that as if you're sending the message they're the prize. Who cares about what LVM think, but at the same time it's not a nice feeling for us either. My criteria for dress code i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:22 AM
52

Your married coworkers ? They're emotionally unavailable but they like you (or are attracted to you). So they act hot and cold
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 04:27 AM
680

"The Bonfire of Destiny" is a French TV show on Netflix whose plots start by a true event, a fire that killed 126 poeple. It was mostly attended by upper class women but the men were described throwing out their wives out of the way and walking on their dead bodies to escape the danger.... the show makes a great deal of the french "gentleman" 's hypocrisy. You really can tell so many things when a man is scared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 07:20 AM
2

In my opinion nah His consistent actions/patterns will show his real values and that never lies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 06:53 AM
21

Yeah, High standards do not heal or prevent everything from happening. I feel like it's more important to simply know when to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 06:49 AM
7

I joined at the end of 2019 and always remained a newbie... welp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:24 AM
70

Wtf this is crazy. I'm sorry you experienced this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:09 AM
28

*claps *
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:38 PM
12

I don't think so. I think it should lower in quantity but be higher in quality if your vetting is stronger and wiser. I don't need to date every man to know they're LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 09:57 AM
96

Great Post! Yeah I agree with you, the more you go on, the easier it gets not to waste time and mental space on LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 09:18 AM
123

I'm allergic to cowards and I think it's the best allergy one could develop, I recommend OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:00 AM
6

We really need this precious reminder a lot around here. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 06:48 AM
2

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:57 AM
204

Well, in a few words... same ? After FDS I found out so much about my friendships, or more like, I woke up .. it took me some time to work up the courage to tell myself "well, these friendships reached their end. I just can't anymore." Now I'm kinda allergic to low value friendships. Sure I'll let someone gravitate around me if they're not harmful but other than that, I just let it go or fade. I noticed that LVW actually don't stick around, they get scared by my standards and boundaries so yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:45 PM
9

I don't think so. I shared for the first time something that happened here to me and the comments were so disgusting that I had to quickly delete my post. @ OP , I hope you are in a better place now 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:03 AM
19

I have started to do this, I learnt greatly because I'm definitively done with OLD. Thanks for this post !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:40 PM
4

Writing one single sentence barely judging a man's criminal actions then proceed to write 3 paragraphs telling the woman she is basically stupid. If that's not pure misogyny right here, I don't know what else is there. If you want to make women take responsibility for their actions, maybe don't be misogynistic in the process. Let's just agree to disagree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 10:46 AM
24

What he did wasn't just "shitty", he is a rapist. If I had a fair justice system where I live, he would have been in prison by now. So yes, I feel like your comment is victim blamey. Fortunately I did work through it so I feel pretty solid in my stance. I'm glad I didn't post it 6 months ago because any victim blaming comment would have re-traumatized me all over again... Thanks for sharing though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 08:36 AM
16

Yes 💋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:55 AM
3

My thoughts are that I don't know what their relationship is like, it could be so much worse than what they are willing to show (when I hear couples rambling again and again about their relationship, it always gives me red flag vibes..... ), so ultimately if it is a LV relationship, I don't think knowing how they met even matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 11:18 PM
6

Lmao. I love her reaction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:07 AM
47

Idk why but I imagine him to be very ugly lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:59 AM
40

One of my friend is like that. She is not even married to the guy, but every time we plan (usually, I do) something together, she always makes me feel like our time potentially goes into conflict with all her other obligations: eating at the guy's grandma's house, her and her bf helping out her cousins, blablabla.... She forgot about our call last time for one of these reasons. I didn't even bother answering her sorry, because truly, I don't have time for this. I have a life. I was almost in a b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:39 AM
186

And they all used white guys. Just want to point that out because the results wouldn't be the same with men from other ethnic backgrounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 11:27 PM
8

When I read all the things you said about LVW, I saw so many characteristics and behaviors of my female or ex female friends..... omg.... I was introduced twice to two guys who, in no way, I'd be attracted to. Like, literally, why ? They're both picked pickmeisha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 11:19 PM
4

Your ex husband sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome You don't want to vet socio-economic status, none of us chose were we would be born. You ant to vet what they make out of it, and whether they use it as an excuse to be LV way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 10:56 PM
81

I did that too. I still have a few orbiters but but I was never interested in them for anything other than friendship. It is so weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 10:39 PM
6

Nothing an LVM does or wants has any value, because the man himself has no value. Precisely. That's what I'm trying to say :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 10:24 PM
25

What explains LVM behaviour is not whether or not they are 100% into a woman, it is their low self esteem, imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:28 AM
22

It is not exactly what I was trying to say to be honest. When he is 100% not into you, he doesn't chase, he doesn't make/let you chase, your presence makes him feel indifferent or slightly annoyed. Indifference is the contrary of love. I believe there are different levels of interests, it's not 100% or 0%, I know it's easier to believe that but humans don't work like that. He may be superficially interested in you, and regardless of how he expresses it (it could come as chasing you like you were…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 06:24 AM
42

Yes, you said it better than me. Absolutely. Like I understand being unsure and testing the waters, but things can be done in a respectful way. Everyone takes a leap of faith and see where things are going. Why the need to play games ? That's where I am at with a man I thought I was interested in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:34 AM
62

Sometimes they don't chase not because they don't see you as worthy, but because they don't feel worthy themselves. They would rather go toward something easier and more at their level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:13 AM
3

I had this happen to me, I was threatened cause I refused to give my number several times
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:13 AM
10

He tried to make you chase and it backfired, I love this lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:58 AM
3

I'm glad you are saying this about Cuties. Although this movie is not perfect and some scenes were unnecessary, the performative outrage and the lack of consideration regarding the director's ethical work choices made me so mad. It was a touching film that spoke to my 11 year old self and I cried several times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:49 AM
2

I binge watched the last season. The main thing that I love are the tranquil atmosphere, the forest, the river.... I don't like Jack. The actor is dull, the character is not that interesting and makes poor choices. As much as I like a lot Mel, she does have her pick me tendencies. It's sad, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:46 AM
10

It really is the worst because it is like so difficult to undo esp when you don't have other good and healthy models in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:11 AM
8

4 baby mamas.. omg... You know I thought that his sob story was much better than the stripper guy who lost interest into the lawyer lady as soon as he cried in TV, because in that sob story he did not take an ounce of responsibility for his divorce and blamed it all on his ex wife "she disappeared suddenly one day, I didn't know what to do!!!1!!!" At least Marvin was like "Well I won't repeat my father's mistakes !" But at the end , he still fuckboy-ed. Maybe we should automatically rule sob sto…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 12:13 PM
14

It is crazy to witness gorgeous women chase fuckboys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 11:12 AM
4

I'd love to explore how to date outside of OLD, how to be on top of your seduction game : not being too accessible but still being accessible to the right guy. How to find the right timing with a guy outside of OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 07:30 AM
6

Your standards are higher and the only way to snap out of it is when you meet a man who meets your standards I think. I actually envy you. I wish I had those very high standards that make me immune to getting excited over bare minimum guys no matter how hot they are. I'm not here yet tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:17 AM
66

That is disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:04 AM
85

Yeah I agree with you. Let men do the work tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:55 AM
61

I hope that once you take her back to Poland, she will finally find peace and comfort. 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:53 AM
10

What I like about her point is that the focus should be on us having firm emotional boundaries whether or not we date multiple men at the same time. Personnally I've learned gradually not to get attached quickly to anyone, hookup or not hookup. However, I tend to project emotional needs on men I barely know, which always put me on the wrong path. But it comes back to what she said about us having more at stake in the dating game, because we risk so much more than men. Therefore, by definition, e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:01 AM
106

I just turned 29. This year will be one of my best year ever, I will get rid of this stupid mindset and start my 30's more amazingly than ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:10 PM
6

Yes. When poeple benefitting from you not having clear enough, strong enough assertive boundaries, they show their true selves as soon as you change. You just described my 2020 year lol. Change is uncomfortable. But you finally have your own back after that. It's freeing. Welcome to that side of self love. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:55 AM
9

Yes. When poeple benefitting from you not having clear enough, strong enough assertive boundaries, they show their true selves as soon as you change. You just described my 2020 year lol. Change is uncomfortable. But you finally have your own back after that. It's freeing. Welcome to that side of self love. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:55 AM
2

Yup, I did start to use these tactics for situations i am not sure are worth it. It's amaaaazing. Great tip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:38 AM
34

Only 2 months though. Hope you will report in 6 months !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:18 AM
1

Praying for her to dump him immediately
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:20 AM
8

This comment is killing me, thanks for the good morning laugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:14 PM
5

I want this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 09:57 PM
233

It was so difficult for me to read "Kim Ji Young, born 1982", referenced in the article, because it was so relatable, so triggering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 08:29 AM
16

That is why I was afraid of watching it. Very tired of sidelined WOC plots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:40 AM
56

Well said ! Accepting yourself and forgiving yourself is literally step n°1 to level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 12:37 AM
8

Your post is awesome ! I'm glad to see I'm well on my journey. Bookmarking !!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 04:04 AM
17

Yup, to me the best way to level up was to work on one thing at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 04:03 AM
2

Perfectly said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 04:01 AM
12

We all are working on it I think 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 03:58 AM
15

Thank you ! Great Post, I need it. Last time someone spontaneously asked me out on a date, I didn't do any of this, he just looked at me and challenged himself. So I ended up saying yes because he did it well. I think what I don't know how to do yet is stroke a guy's ego without going overboard. I used to be admirative of the things they'd say to impress me but then they would kind of find me "easy" and have a worse attitude. Then I stopped unless I'm actually impressed, but they become a bit in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 12:35 AM
9

I went through that phase. I took a break from men as much as I could for a year. I would only be surrounded by my close friends and meet no one knew or avoid men like the plague until I work through stuff in therapy. I really recommend to take care of yourself and learn how to find a balance through solitude until you can afford therapy tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:46 PM
63

Yup. I have a feeling he was trying to make her jealous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:30 PM
14

My former narc friend also used to say that she sees "potential in" me. Huge red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 04:54 AM
27

I'm truly sorry. Also, I hope your aunt will be able to leave him one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:52 PM
8

Yeah. I mean if a woman doesn't want him there he should accept it and move out of the way and if a woman wants him there he should be her biggest support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:59 AM
9

Lol I took a break for two years it was so awesome 2 weeks for me is not a break tbh Now I haven't dated since January because the last experience was awful. It took some time to overcome. All that to say : Breaks are great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:54 AM
3

I really liked what you've written !! Esp the part where he takes responsibility for his mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:51 AM
3

Yup, this is a great idea Or even better, we could experiment on putting ourselves out there and see what are the best strategies to be invited out to quality dates
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:47 PM
2

r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 06:44 AM
13

Yes. I was born in the 90s. We have been 100% mislead by the older generation of feminists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 05:55 AM
28

🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:11 PM
63

I would like to date this summer, I'm ready 🙃💕 But I'm off OLD, so need to put myself out there x10
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:46 AM
125

Yes yes and yes. I also had a very toxic, total narc friend. I left that friendship broken. I was in a terrible state. My self esteem to the ground. We have to vet close friends. Ruthlessly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:41 AM
16

My cousin got so angry when I didn't want to give a second chance to a scrote. She took pity in him because I was too harsh and "sometimes guys come back".I don't get why she'd take it so personnally. Results I followed her stupid advice and it was a disaster. NEVER again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:29 AM
64

I get you 100%. Coming to terms with what kind of man my father actually is - and I've always been a "daddy's girl", has been a challenge to say the least. I actually woke up with a nightmare about this today
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:46 AM
38

I agree with this 100%. Also, for those of us who started out with a broken self love, it's a long journey. But it is possible to stop putting poeple on pedestal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:31 AM
264

South Korean women are so strong. The patriarchy in East Asia is no. Joke. I know cause I'm living in East Asia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:17 AM
20

Influencers were a mistake
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:21 PM
16

I sure don't want to know more but this individual is bullying.... a grandma ? That is on a whole new level. What the f.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:02 PM
90

She should just go by herself with that pretty dress in a fancy bar and order a fancy drink and let a gentleman pay it for her than back home and eat ice-cream while watching her fav movie feeling fulfilled and happy : D Of course block and delete the boyfriend without a word : D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:59 PM
11

There was a male former friend that tried it with me. So fucking weird. Fortunately I may have been in the peak of pick me days, I still had the courage to spell out strong boundaries regarding his comments. Trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:03 AM
2

Wtf is this post and where is the source?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:25 AM
20

It's a control thing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:43 AM
160

...."slut" ...? Woa. Even in my most pick me days I would have never ever accepted someone to talk to me that way. Her self esteem must be so so low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:49 AM
11

He really did take her as a back up option. The audacity has no limits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:05 AM
17

He knows how to recognize toxic people and isn't afraid to cut them out of his life if he needs to. That is such a great HV trait imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:45 AM
13

Welcome, sister 🤎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:31 AM
22

Turning off my insta notifications has been amazing for my mental health. Sometimes I just forget about this app. Also muting every guy you interact with is such a great move
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:28 PM
-7

Ask any elderly woman how men were back then. Back then, when exactly? Which culture, what time, which ethnic group ? but women have always had a narrow box of what's considered "acceptable" behavior. Which women ? When? Where ? It would be too long to write about it on here and I need to organise my thoughts on the subject, but anthropological work surrounding parenthood helped me a lot understand that gender roles and norms, however they look like, are into place to regulate and organise socie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:06 PM
-9

Gender roles are not a good nor a bad thing. They exist in every single civilization, they evolve with time, they are more or less strict, more or less binary, more or less based on biological facts (ie sexual organs and reproductive abilities) and carry more or less oppressive aspects. They all regulate roles withing a particular group at a particular time to ensure the survival of said group. They can get more oppressive (ie after and during the war, when a society's leaders need to tighten th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:12 PM
56

They send you the same message over and over again until they finally find a way in. It worked with my "first love", I was in a vulnerable state and so I gave in. Which resulted in my first r***. Guys who are doing these kind of things (also, orbiting) are the most dangerous in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:41 AM
49

It's not my thing, I don't like managing anyone else but myself lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:12 AM
81

"We don’t have joint meetings where we say: “Gee, let’s find a way to use women for sex while giving the impression that it’s an equal situation for both parties.” I mean, if you don't count all the redpillers or whatever they're called and these pick up artists in the 90's and early 00's who had huge meetings with desperate ZVM...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:47 AM
16

And that is why I love the idea that when you are dealing with a man no matter what is happening, take a step back and observe silently, look at his actions, whether they match his words, how does he explain them. Don't chase, don't comment, don't explain... just listen to yourself and him... That's when you can actually witness the amount of interest based on how much efforts it takes him to make a good relationship happen. Since I have taken that approach, things have become so much more simpl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:48 AM
70

Perfectly said. We have to remind ourselves this time and again, until it becomes natural. The default assumption one should have is : men ain't shit, let him prove you the contrary or let him die mad of you not worshipping him for giving the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:02 AM
1

We are all supporting you, stay strong and proud sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:41 AM
11

Me too, I walked away in August 2020, I finally had enough. Fortunately, the pandemic calmed down in Fall 2020, so I could follow my dreams after waiting for 8 months I flew abroad to start a new life. We keep a cordial relationship, and my father asked me to wish her a happy mother's day. I had to tell him off, him who didn't protect me and who believes that blood is thicker than water and that I should accept all abuse because of that sacred motherhood. Little did he expect my answer that time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 11:31 AM
13

It was very hard for me to rewire that for sure and internalise that someone showing the bare minimum of respect (thing that I don't appear to have known that much) doesn't make him a HVM let along my perfect partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:50 PM
3

Yup I agree with you. Actually a change in behavior is always a good indication that you should proceed with extra caution and see what's up. I think that's what one has to keep in mind while in a secure and happy relationship....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:43 PM
4

Yes x 100, bookmarking. It goes for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:06 AM
1

I relate 1000000%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:08 AM
7

Sounds like my mom ooop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:36 AM
1

Pickme advice can lead to dangerous situations. I learnt it the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:05 AM
8

And I don't envy them. They don't live authentic lives, they're constantly gaslighting others and themselves to the point they become disconnected with themselves entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:24 AM
4

I'm looking forward to explore more listeners' anecdotes and personal experience with regards to the FDS mindset, vetting men and level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:30 AM
24

It is an amazing article full of hard truths . Thank you for sharing. I wish more was written on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:30 AM
3

The audacity....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:29 PM
7

They just want sex Seriously the most attractive men i matched with on OLD were the biggest fuckboys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:55 PM
3

I wish I liked real crime stories to listen to this because the rant sounds amazing lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:22 PM
4

Someone told me that I should be "ashamed of myself" for having such an opinion. I was triggered for days until I worked it out in therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:26 PM
1

Last time that is exactly what I said in a supposedly progressive feminist forum and I was downvoted to hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:24 PM
4

This guy has huge issues like wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:46 AM
39

LMAO GIRL THAT MAKES ME BLUSH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:42 AM
10

Lol yeah I don't even bother answering to these
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:28 AM
3

Wow, you are an inspiration. The cognitive dissonance between the two faces is something I have deeply struggled with, backed up by a low self esteem. You are absolutely right about everything and it is something crucial to learn how to master so we can vet men properly. Bookmarking your post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:39 AM
6

Preach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:42 AM
3

If you want the perfect example of liberal feminism, talk to parisian women tbh You'll get all the stereotypes and more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:15 AM
7

Girl are you me ? I got the same experience months ago when I was actively dating and came to the same conclusion. Although I'm set on finding my HVM, I definitely raised my standards and knows the next guy who will get to have a date with me will not be the boy next door or whatever random man on an app. Hence why I've gotten 0 dates since then and been my happiest single self ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:44 PM
32

I dated during my early twenties in Paris and I never had a man asked me to go for drinks as a date honestly, they all paid for the restaurants. I did not know it was like this in England but my friend is living there and somehow from what I've heard I'm not that surprised. It must be so annoying. But yeah libfeminism is at its peak in Western Europe. Crazy. The number of women who tell me its OK to chase a guy or have situationships, esp parisian women....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:47 AM
3

Yup same. I think my dad told me like, once. But I know he loves me a lot, it shows, its not hidden, anyone can see it without ambiguity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:46 AM
6

Showing affections vary from culture to culture, expressing emotions as well. However, there is one thing that never lie : consistent actions, for sure. They'll tell you someone's intentions and feelings regardless of their personality or the culture they come from. I personally prefer to look at actions as a priority if I have to vet, knowing that I've grown up in a multicultural setting where emotions are expressed with a lot of restrains. I really don't have a problem with that. Actually I am…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:45 AM
16

Lol I think its a generation really. My therapist and my older female cousin used to say "some poeple would just follow their intuition and others would go all the way until they bump their heads to the wall" and she would imply that I take the second option. Been there done that it was the worst choice ever. Now I'm choosing option n°1 without a fail
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:24 AM
22

My therapist used to encourage me to go toward guys even if we both knew what they had to offer me wasn't what I was looking for. I had to get angry so that she would stop doing that. I know a lot of therapists do that it is truly annoying. Anyway, I totally agree with that statement and I personally sure learnt how to apply that boundary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:19 AM
19

Yeah and tell us if they answer lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:59 AM
31

I guess it depends on where you are because I know tons of poeple who find it totally normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:02 AM
5

Me during my pick me days lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:53 AM
36

100% true and yeah that's how I do obtain closure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:27 PM
1

I'm so glad you found it helpful ! Thanks for letting me know 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:37 AM
12

Thanks. Having children will also be a major reason for me to choose a partner so that is another important reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:24 PM
7

Thank you, I'm very happy to read your comment. 😁 Hope I can help other ladies who faced the same challenges regarding developing crushes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:38 AM
36

I'm glad to read your comment because I get you 100% and that is the reason I took this approach regarding crushes. I was a teenager vicariously living through escapism because it was my one way to survive my very dysfunctional family. So it was not surprising that I would create perfect fantasies about men (boy bands and actors first) then actual irl men of my age. It was a coping mechanism, and it is important to treat it with kindness. It is our way to make reality less deceiving, but now wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:36 PM
6

Thank you for explaining !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:59 PM
10

Hello, I would love for my post to get accepted, I prepared it specifically for the Meme Free Monday but I have no idea what makes someone have posts that are accepted although I've tried before, without success...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:32 PM
2

I'm sorry for what happened, he is a rapist and deserves to go to prison. Unfortunately it doesn't mean that what I said is wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:21 PM
7

There is a history of false allegations regarding black men in the west in general. It includes sexual assault but also every other crime. This is due to systematic oppression and that is a fact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:08 AM
21

You're welcome and thank you for sharing your own insights. I'm thinking about making a post about having crushes and fantasies . Because for a long time FDS has told to just "don't", but I do believe there is a great way to use crushes to our advantage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:37 PM
75

I feel called out by this post lol I used to have a huge crush on a guy and had tons of fantasies similar to what you described. Honestly now that I'm over it i still think he was attracted to me but simply not romantically interested enough. He was also a manwhore who hid it well, a wishy washy introverted fuck boy and a huge gaslighter. Anyways, that experience taught me how to use and consequently overcome crushes since they are full of your own projections, they are more about yourself than …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:49 AM
5

I don't know if it is "attention" they struggle with or rather emotional intimacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 09:02 AM
6

I've given up on the fact I'll find a HVM on OLD and I'm finally coming around the fact that I want my life to be as happy as possible which means : not taking the risk of any LVM entering my life. However I noticed that my boundaries regarding men were not as strong as I thought last time I used OLD effectively, it made me afraid of getting my judgement clouded when I finally vet serious options. So I decided to use OLD exclusively to strengthen my boundaries which resulted in men not even gett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:40 AM
6

"Holding out for his dReaM giRl he won't appreciate because he's addicted to attention" I know a guy like this... I really dodged a bullet with his wishy washy ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:18 AM
13

My parents both mocked my natural hair when I moved back home Should have been my clue to get out as fast as possible smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 12:42 AM
4

Thank you ladies, I'm listening and it comes right on time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:06 AM
14

I just counted and I rejected 7 men (regardless of what were their intentions) since I've known FDS. I want a HVM, it is the truth. However the better I feel about myself the more allergic I am about potential bad experience with men and disappointing men. Every time I think about a man potentially disappointing me I'm like, I feel so tired. I just do not want anyone to threaten my precious peace ever again. Especially if they are not worth it. Basically... I am building a life in which the only…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:03 AM
56

Since the beginning of patriarchy? At least now she finally has a platform to know it's not ok...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:27 AM
41

Totally happened to me with a former FWB, I downright rejected him on a romantic level and I was stupid enough to think we could go on no string attached... until he tried to pass me off as "intense" and a "whore" (whereas he was the one sleeping around a tons and bragging about it??) and tried to humiliate me several times as a pay back, also tried to look like he was the one rejecting me. I was seriously traumatised for months. I just did not understand what was happening. Anyways. At least it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 12:52 AM
6

Lol they were the ones gloating about Jaxn... gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:00 AM
64

Personally I think that change is possible but it requires time, pain and it is an uncomfortable process. Unless you don't see that in a man who said that he has changed, he def didn't. Also, re Jaxn, the guy wasn't even reformed. He never addressed anything until he got caught. Guys who hide their difficulties are not honest. Therefore I don't believe them when they said they've changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:14 AM
4

I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. Your daughter should feel free to dress however she wants and express herself especially as a teenager it is so important. I hope you will obtain full custody after this incident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:49 AM
174

It gives my strong undiagnosed mental illness feels And she needs help too because like, what even ? Fix what ? Girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:42 PM
1

I'm really trying to meet men like this. I'm currently pursuing my phD and I noticed I'm more attracted by highly educated men now. Would you have any tips to meet these men ? The kind of men I've been attracted to these past couple of years, I met them at my part time job, or in a work related situation which I think is tricky so I did not think it was a good situation for any kind of courtship to happen. I'd like to meet them somehow though...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 04:50 AM
2

Well said !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 06:09 AM
9

Her story is extremely relatable to me. Although we don't have the same background, in many ways I have found myself navigating spaces, at university, in which I would not come from the same social background or ethnic back ground (ie i was often the only WOC in the class). I have barely got the time to be elegant during my 20s. I prioritise a lot of other things, most importantly part time jobs so that I could follow the path of my dreams. Often I would dream about presenting myself with more e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:26 AM
34

I moved 4 months ago to a huge city. Vetted 4 men, all deemed unworthy in the end. I feel like it is possible to vet both quality friends and HVM at the same time. Thanks to FDS, came to a point where I don't get attached that easily and vetting carefully who surrounds me. So I'd say, before finding a bf or a friend in a new environment, work on yourself, your boundaries and your ability to feel whole even when alone. I want intimate and close relationships, but I don't feel lonely while wanting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 04:30 AM
3

Low expectations but high standards is the key
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:05 AM
8

I agree with you. I have a big issue with pick me hate on this sub. Why so harsh ? We don't want to look like LVM, LVM stupidly lack of empathy and depth. We want to be better than that, I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:23 AM
48

Yup.... I can....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:45 AM
27

Why not trying to invest in new friendships with poeple with a similar mindset ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:58 AM
14

I agree, you can be friends with women who are on their own journey of self love and improvement, even if they have some Pick me traits. Most of my friends are like that. They are also non-judgemental and supportive with whatever decision I make with my life. So there's that. But as OP it is also nice to look for women who already reached a certain level of self-love and HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:33 AM
42

What a great and well written argumentation OP. I work in mental health care and yes, people who have or had mental health issues can share and teach about their experience (it is also a way to turn it around and use that precious lived experience for the better good), but only if they have figured out their therapeutic paths, and most importantly if they have a medical/mental health background or are assisted by medical and mental health professionals. Including me, it is the case for many ment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:21 AM
6

I transform it into fuel. I use it to become successful. But I'm right here with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:05 AM
5

Yup I do I guess. I appreciate and envy a lot selfless poeple who do things for me. It makes me feel quickly accepted and warm. It's such a great feeling and I'd like to be able to give it to others too. So I'd like to stop having an issue with it and feel less anxious about it so I can trust myself finding out quickly who would take advantage of me and who won't. Because of the way I was raised I am constantly afraid of being taken advantage of, it is a strong source of anxiety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:54 AM
19

Yeah a guy who only dates foreign women is a direct red flag to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 02:33 PM
40

I myself blocked a Japanese fuckboy a month ago. Still healing tbh The culture is more conservative than mine and also, some of them really do behave in a certain way with foreign women because they knowww they'll get away with it.... so I'm learning to radically protect myself as soon as I smell something fishy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:26 AM
15

Absolutely. One thing I learned so far in 2021 :peace of mind is one of the most precious feeling ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:00 AM
5

That is a very good ending lol. You both took your dignity with you and ditched his ass together. Now his messy self is out of both your lives. Bye boy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:51 AM
18

Trauma can happen to people who are close to victims. He sounds like he has poor mental health so it's good that he is getting therapy. Of course, his troubles are none of her responsibility, she has enough to deal with. Yeah.... he should handle himself or steps back until he gets better for her sake. That would be the HV thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:36 PM
22

I want to buy delicious food and chocolate And watch a romcom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:48 AM
17

Yeah. What was up with "if you move far away with your family it would be too difficult with us"? It shouldn't be too difficult if it's only temporary and that he is willing to be actually committed and make efforts. LVM really come in all shape and form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 02:05 AM
26

Thank you so much for this post ! I did make a major mistake which I heavily blamed myself for. I feel better now, especially knowing I reacted well and blocked him everywhere. But your message is very important yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 01:18 AM
12

Very good post. I definitely learned that and I carefully monitor those who overshare with me. But I guess now I need to know what building a strong connection in a romantic relationship looks like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:26 AM
79

I wasted 6 years on one so I think I can help you lol. Pay attention to how you feel after you meet them for the first time. You should feel relieved, you should have a clear head and you should feel heard, at the bare minimum. Maybe try another one if you are unsure , look for good chemistry. I would advise to choose a woman. But I admit there are also good male therapists though. As always, trust your gut and put yourself first. Those are my tips.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:26 AM
6

I heard a girl recently tell me how to pronounce her name because her bf changed the spelling on WhatsApp since he thought it was better that way ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 09:32 PM
11

Last night I asked someone I know for reassurance "Do you think I'll find someone real good?" And she replied, strongly : "Yes. Because I know you won't tolerate anything less." It's the first compliment about relationship that I ever received and it made me feel like maybe I'm truly starting to give off HV energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:13 AM
5

True. What is that place that supposedly attract HVM? Cause from what I recall... LVM can be literally everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:25 PM
13

The LVM sounds extremely abusive. Strikes to me as someone who is violent when no one is around. He is scapegoating the wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:10 AM
9

TW. When I was 7 one of the youth leaders at our school used to call me his "model", he would always tell me that I'm super pretty and smile at me. 5 years later he was jailed for having raped another 7 y/o little girl at that same school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 09:01 AM
3

Right here With you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 03:32 PM
4

I'm just... wow. I'm just so sad for the woman and the children. The children will be traumatised for life. This is so unacceptable but unfortunately, unsurprising. F him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 01:54 AM
4

It's too bad you deleted your post i was legit curious about the content...!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 06:59 AM
3

It is literally saying everything that I love. This article is perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 04:47 PM
4

A true and all around loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:03 AM
6

Who didn't tbh...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:23 PM
169

I'm very sorry for her. :/ But the bf did an amazing thoughtful gift ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:35 AM
8

I'm on my way going to find this article.... I'm not white but born and raised in a western country. I used to have a white friend who told me not to date a Japanese guy but she herself was only surrounded by unhealthy fuckboys and vapid people. My Nigerian hairstylist who has been there for 12 years told me not to date foreign guys because the only reason they date seriously here is to get their papers. Prior to that I've always been wary of foreign guys in Japan who fetichisize Asian women. 🤢 …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:13 AM
21

As a foreign woman who is settling there, I had no idea about that disparity when it comes to divorce..... Lmao the news medias always talk about the high divorce rate between japanese-foreogn couples while forgetting most is from western man -japanese woman......
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 01:45 AM
5

Oh my... I had never heard about this sub before. One of the commenter is happy she is not the only one wanting to choke their husband on Christmas eve. I pray, again and again, to never come to that conclusion and to choose wisely my partner and the dad of my future kids. But it also reminds of my dad who is a pile of stress at every big event. A nightmare. I hated going anywhere because of him and my mom always fighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 01:01 AM
8

My dad was jealous of my pet when I got him ... it was so embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 12:19 AM
2

I used to listen to him up until yesterday when he listed the 5 ways to annoy a man... I can't anymore. Bye. .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 01:09 PM
4

"Put the way a person treat you before everything." Point blank
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:30 AM
8

Definitely going to make secret accounts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:32 AM
13

Great article. I have to start my Fuck Off fund next year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 11:30 PM
7

Also she was charming sexy and confident when she had that first dinner with Grant's character. I liked that version of Bridget. I just wished she'd dump any LVM her way and keep on showing that HVW energy to find her HVM. Both men were huge LVM though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:46 PM
16

I just dumped a guy who wasted my precious time. I'm busy with my PhD and this guy cancelled on me last minute after his basketball course because he was tired so he wanted to call instead like, what the f ? I could have studied instead, and the dude called me late while watching TV at the same time. The audacity is surreal. His excuse was... a basketball game. I'm so happy because pre-FDS I would have accepted his bs and found his excuse normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:36 PM
17

Last night I was out with my cousin, she is around 12 years older than me. I told her about the two guys who made moves on me those last few months and how I judged the situation and decided none of them were worth my time. I ghosted one and said goodbye to another and did not waste any time. And I told her I don't think I want to waste my time with fuckboys and the only game I wanna play is the one in which I feel like a winner to fuckboys who thought I was stupid enough to fall for their littl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:44 PM
33

This article is uselessly long and totally trash. Plus he sounds like a predator
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:15 PM
63

Her mom... defended him ??? Sweet jesus please, I don't want to ever ever be close to be a mother like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:14 PM
-2

"Muslim rape gangs" Yes your posts are racist as hell. What does them supposedly being Muslim have anything to do with rape ? Have you called any gang rape made white men the "white rape gangs"? No, am I right ? Your comments are so goddamn offensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:22 AM
-5

In a white society who thrived on its colonial past ? The british police, a powerful institution that HAS been called out for its racial biases, would not induct men of color because they are.... afraid ?? Miss me with that racist comment. And bring me proof to your very insensitive statements. There are million of reasons why the british police would be acting like this, other than being "afraid" of being called racists, such as misogyny & rape culture. But no, your first conclusion, is that it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 09:19 PM
0

Yeah, I figured something was off. The way it was framed, including by the OP, saying that no one is reporting it because otherwise they would be called racists and all that conspiracy tone, made me believe it really sounds like alt right/rightists crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:16 PM
9

I'm sorry can we get a legit source ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:33 PM
1

Absolutely ! That's exactly the kind of things you learn when faced to these kind of situations.... you use the anger to learn to have your own back and stand up for yourself no matter the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:52 PM
1

Please tell us what happens when you leave him, I cant wait to read your triumph. Also, stay safe...!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:21 PM
2

Omg I cant wait for part 2 It totally looks like an experience I had with a lawyer.... sounds very similar, with that whole status thing and power imbalance with the receptionist that I was!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:59 PM
26

Every time he says something inappropriate or annoying, repeat endlessly the same 2 words sentence, like "I see" no matter the context. Don't spend any emotional energy on your responses, no more than a few seconds of your time, disengage basically. You'll see, he will give up. It's a technique I learnt from a coach and it worked wonders !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:28 PM
24

The article is super interesting and detailed on the subject, its raging there are not more scientific studies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:58 AM
3

I'm so sorry you did not get the support you needed from your mom. You deserve someone who listens without judgement. But first maybe, and as you are starting to realize, you deserve to forgive yourself and be nice to yourself. Indeed, if he behaved badly and in an abusive way, that belongs to him and him alone. You do not have any responsibility on the choices he has made in behaving the way he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 10:27 AM
3

Plus, it feels weird knowing the SO used the same pet names for their exes I feel like I'm replacing the former "Honey ", gross. I prefer my SO to call me by my name. That's enough tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:19 AM
31

Someone told such a lie ? I personally think they are default LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:26 PM
88

He is a total creep. Honestly, I hope you will drop the "polite girl" act and defend yourself as much as possible, even if it means embarrassing yourself or making a fuss or whatever that would "break" your image. No matter how we interpret it, seeing how delusional he is, he will definitely take it as an encouragement. You want to avoid that, as it puts you in danger. I think you should go to HR tbh. And I would say, write him back and say how you feel that it is inappropriate. So you can have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:49 PM
29

She should both quit the asshole and the job tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:30 PM
13

I... what
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:16 PM
40

Yeah I dont recommend to follow that sub, you end up having a break down. I had a huge sigh of relief when I I unfollowed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 10:26 PM
1

Yes to all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:15 PM
3

Exactly !! You said precisely what I meant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:11 PM
35

I really hate that sentence "He is not that into you. " We women, are not objects. It really plays into the objectification culture. I prefer to say that it is not women's fault if they dont "get the clue" when men are ambiguous. Because they don't objectify men as much, they don't believe it's possible to approach someone just to want to have access to a part of them and not to the whole person. They may not believe that it's alright to lead someone on for a very precise purpose that is as shal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:46 AM
69

No, Mixed signals are men being ambiguous about their intentions because they want your attention for various reasons that belong to them. Let's not make men unaccountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:34 AM
153

When we say maintenance sex, we mean having sex just to have it, even if you don’t feel like doing it. It's ... rape. If a woman doesnt want to have sex, let her be. WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 05:40 PM
15

Yeah sounds lazy I think you did amazing following your intuition and keeping those standards high. I have been doing that since I discovered FDS and want to keep doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:33 PM
20

I see, a broad location... yes that doesn't mean anything lol. It doesnt sound like a date ! Now that I get it, I agree with you Ps : this is really ridiculous, why would he give you a broad location ?? 🙄 LVM alert .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:25 PM
6

I dont get it, you confirmed the date, the time, the location and to you its not sure thing that it's happening? Must be a cultural difference at play, because to me it would have been happening and yeah I would been there..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:22 PM
261

What I call an actual protective father. And her older brother doesn't care about his sister's safety, SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 02:21 PM
22

Yes. Often, it's not that women naturally care more, but it's that the fallout might be actually frightening, which makes you feel obligated to care or pretend to care about men's feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:47 AM
45

You blocked him and moved on then out of the blue processed to unblock him. Truth is you never moved on, and he played you (because he used you to end it with his ex since apparently he can't do it himself) and he wasted your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:15 AM
45

So they are bullying her because her husband is sleeping with the boss ? Wtf ? He is not a LVM or NVM. He is a major grade A Asshole who is being protected by everyone , like what is happening here ........ poor girl. She needs to get the f out of this whole system, definitely full of narcissists. She must feels so lonely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:34 PM
3

Yeah... They're doomed to become LVM. And the circle continues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:14 AM
7

I live with mine during the pandemic. He is a LVM. Often shames my mother when she complains about him doing nothing in the house (it is worse now that we are confined), defends my brother when he is going too far with the tone he is using with my mother and she complains, feels hugely emasculated when he is doing the dishes, going into money issues / debt because he can't provide the way he wants to, often fleeing his role as a father when it comes to my brother etc... He is a bad leader but he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:11 AM
46

"Yes I know." Gosh....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:51 AM
3

Great post ! It demands you to be honest to yourself, even figuring out the toxic, negative parts and accepting them first to work through them. I'd like to get to that point but to me the "accepting" part is the most difficult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:02 AM
23

My last experience with a LVM. I was given awful advice by poeple who weaponized the situation against me for their own narcissistic games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 02:01 PM
21

Because men are the ones parents tend to invest more, statistically the ones who tend to inherit more too.... men are mostly in better positions financially for all kinds of reasons they have less problems finding financial independence and a good start in life than women Our societies were not design for us women to reach such high positions within elite circles. Our places are constantly questioned ths higher we go. /phd candidate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:08 PM
35

Yeah, its impressively oppressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 09:18 AM
49

LMAO, Ricky, 27, went from taking the wife's name to killing infant males in one breath I would like to keep my name for my career and have my children inherit both my future man and I's names. I just never felt like changing my name. It is my heritage and my cultural identity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 03:22 PM
30

Harsh.... truth 😩 For now I'm not really wanting to separate myself from some of my best friends who have been here for me during good and bad times. But when it comes to dating and relationships, I'm definitely detaching myself. I feel the strong need to build that self confidence so I don't need them for that part of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 10:16 AM
10

Omg the second one. I'm soooo glad I guessed something was off before anything happened. But I definitely encountered the second one ! So weird !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 10:42 PM
13

I personally do not understand how a marriage contract can protect you against unpaid labour at home and always providing sex? Having a marriage contract don't make these behaviours magically okay. Whever or not you're married none of this should exist, more commitment shouldn't change that fact, I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 09:23 AM
1

It was released last year I think, starring Gong Yoo and Jung Yu Mi. http://asianwiki.com/Kim_Ji-Young:_Born_1982
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:08 AM
1

I know! But you'll get there. I'm still on that journey myself , actually . :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 10:47 PM
14

I want to watch the movie and read the book so bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:05 PM
72

I believe that when they are like that it is because they are not available. They have a gf, an ex, some life situation that make them emotionally unavailable. Either way the answer is the same : it has nothing to do with you, find self-validation and be happy by yourself until you meet the right one...! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 07:03 AM
8

He is a narcissist and you are codependent. I have witnessed a very similar situation between a narcissist and a codependent once. Get out for real. Don't waste time, go and heal. Also you can check Stephanie Lyn on YouTube.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 08:19 PM
9

I had an ex in a very similar situation. He was in no place to be in a relationship. I think all of what you said are red flags. He seems to be in a rush to next the situation, it is going to come out later definitely. And it is going to be messy. This is not a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 07:40 PM
5

Well, I'm not in your situation but I have a strong "back to square 1" feeling and overall experience because of the quarantine which makes me hate the version of myself that is coming out due to the situation so I get you. First you can check r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy for plenty of tips to cure your insecurities. Also, I'd advise focusing on something that makes you feel valued outside of any kind of relationship. I have been focusing on my phd admission paper and I've been studying/researching f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 07:36 PM
2

I just cant with these kind of couple to be honest.... are dealing with a child or a man ? How come your first reflex was to break his laptop instead of leaving him ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:41 AM
37

This is so beautiful and relatable. I want this kind of relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:14 PM
8

I needed to figure myself out those past few years. I did not pursue a serious relationship. When I was open to relationships I was also quite picky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 06:16 AM
20

The nerve poeple have will never cease to amaze me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:53 AM
22

I don't know if it is reasonable or not to ghost you, but what I believe is that whatever the reason is, it doesn't concern you. As you said, it's their loss, and it doesn't make you happy. So if a man's behavior doesn't make you happy, why would any woman run after him ? There is nothing valuable to you behind his actions, therefore I consider it a blessing when the trash takes itself out. I mean my first bf ghosted me. He was awful. I was so hurt that he didn't give me a reason and was such a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 09:09 AM
12

I understand. Do you think that if you find out the reason behind those behaviors, you will feel happier ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:55 AM
89

The trash is taking itself out ! What a blessing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:40 AM
36

It reminds me of my dad. An impractical, narcissistic hero. This is extremely frustrating. I never want to marry let alone have children with that type of men. N.e.v.e.r.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:16 AM
14

I mean "Asian Men" is broad. For having dating men from different cultures and ethnicities, I don't think it's men per see that are different - I do think FDS fit all men because it is fitted with the core of patriarchy- but dating culture. For example I've lived in Japan. The dating culture there is something else.... I won't go into details but every western woman who has dated there knows. There is something important to know about it : the dating culture has only existed for 50-70 years so i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:04 AM
2

I couldn't finish this post. It sounds like it was a very abusive and deeply dysfunctional family with a bully-culture in which women are -without surprise- left up to fight each other because they are the most vulnerable. I don't understand how the Pickmeisha affected you? When the actual bullies are left in the background of your story ? And you are even saying that her actions affected the way your bf viewed you ? That actually sounds like Pickmeisha talk. He wasn't HVM if he changed so easil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:24 PM
3

Shout out to my ex-narcissitic friend !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 03:36 PM
13

Lol, yes we have. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:19 PM
105

"YTA to yourself" 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:31 AM
48

I hate the "he is just not that into you" narrative. It is mostly used against women who are automatically placed as objects, and it gives way too much power onto men's egos. It's like saying if he were into you he'd be the perfect man ! Let's be honest I wouldn't believe it one sec. A LVM is and remains a LVM unless he actually works on himself to be a HVM. Just like I can reject men gracefully and with empathy, I don't know why men wouldn't. HVM would but LVM can't. Because they see women as i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 12:46 PM
1

I saved this comment XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:53 PM
4

Love your post OP ! It is refreshing because it is nuanced and genuine... It is too bad you were so emotionally invested but like.... I feel you were mature enough to protect yourself and trust your intuition, this is super inspiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:55 PM
8

I think I'll trust OP's intuition on this. And OP rightfully trusted their intuition which I think is great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:51 PM
14

I'd like to have a roster without having to go through OLD... I think and HOPE it's possible , I just have to go out a lot and out myself out there. Which might be nice than OLD too so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:47 PM
39

Kachindamoto says, "Educate a girl and you educate the whole area ... You educate the world"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:13 AM
42

"He wouldn't have been rejected constantly" He could be the one rejecting women constantly though. Either way, to me personally, someone who actually dated a lot is a red flag. When I say, a lot, it means it seems unusual for their age. Either they don't have standards and boundaries or they are emotionally unavailable, narcissists, have ego issues etc. It's not necessarily the truth but I think I'd start to distance myself immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 09:15 PM
3

I did that for my first bf (edit, granted I admit, my text wasn't as angry as yours, honestly I always like to keep it classy for break ups so I don't feel embarrassed after that), it actually helped me to move on and I found someone else a couple of weeks later. Personnally it helped me with closure, so IF that's the case I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea. The thing is, who cares if HE doesnt care as long as you release those feelings and use them to say : NEXT. It worked for me. Also h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:17 PM
18

I think Pam had a very questionable behavior with him when she was engaged, and Jim falling for her and being very blinded by love didn't feel like HVM traits. I would hope a HVM would be smarter than this and nope out of such a situation because he knows he deserves a woman who is at least somewhat available. I think he was a bit in denial about his feelings at first and I would hope a HVM would know himself better as well. So I wouldn't recommend Jim to the OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:34 PM
19

There is also Governor Koike of Tokyo. She has been warning about the potential disaster the pandemic could cause for months compared to the denial other politicians have been in, she is the one who has been pressuring for a state of Emergency and she is on all fronts, defying the lack of actions from the prime minister Abe. It is so so so rare in Japan to have a female politician at such a position. And she is nailing it, proving herself to be a true leader. Her popularity overshadowing the pri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:36 AM
96

I read the entire article, a true HVM. “When I collect water, they don’t call me Jamal. They call me Safia. It is a popular woman’s name in this village. Even when they call me Safia, I don’t get mad,” he says, bursting into laughter. “When they laugh at me, I laugh back at them and say, ‘In the end, you will see who will win and who will lead a successful life.’” Ha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:03 AM
21

I usually hide the fact that I never had a long term relationship in the past and that I don't have many exes. Unlike women my age. By shame but also because I'm afraid men take advantage of it or see me as "pure" and act wrong/believe I will be easy to convince because of my naivety, which happened to me countless of times. I have even lied about it lately. Or became very vague. I don't wanna sound defensive when I refuse to talk in details about my past relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 02:28 PM
25

And if a man asks you about the history of the past relationships that you've had, what would you answer ? Like how many boyfriends have you had and for how long ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 02:19 PM
46

I don't understand what's the point in answering at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 09:15 PM
24

Honestly, he is dangerous... he coerced you into sex, you did not consent. I don't want to write that word because I don't know where you're at when it comes to fully understanding how fucked up this dude is. But girl, you need to protect yourself asap and get the hell out of that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 07:35 AM
3

I am a passionate and adventurous person who loves to live life to the fullest I am strong willed and persevering I chose a career aimed at saving lives I am a hard worker I am a very empathetic human being with strong values about equality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:34 PM
5

My first bf told me "let's see where it goes" and then he changed his mind and committed to me (I didn't chase him or anything he just did) then made me his gf. However, regardless of what he said first, his intentions with me became clear very fast so yeah. Actions speak very loud when a man is serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:29 PM
8

Yup, happened to me. He was not SA but he was dealing and acting the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:37 AM
2

I agree with you but I must add that therapy can also be the catalyst for someone to find help with other therapeutic tools such as meditation, sports, religion etc.... Basically, some poeple have to start by therapy in order to build a motivation to go further. Also, being ready to save up for therapy, or for a limited amount of time, sacrificing a few hours in your week instead of doing something else show that you are serious about getting better. It is an investment and as in every relations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:31 AM
4

It's one thing for them to be difficult to avoid outside of this sub, it's another thing to value their comments, even negatively, in a community that is free of them. Literally I don't know why anyone would care about LVM's opinions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 09:47 PM
92

I don't care about what reddit men do, but that's amazing of her, what a HVW!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 09:14 PM
2

True.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:03 PM
12

Why not informing your male cousin that you are open to this ? Maybe your male cousin talked about it to test the waters so that he can inform his friend, so you won't need to do anything but wait. he'll step up or you can find other guys....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:48 PM
15

Yeah it sounds like she's pursuing him. And it feels like he is pretty much uninterested. I think he should block/unfollow her... they're not actual friends, so what's the point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 08:21 PM
13

Change of therapist, tbh. And let her keep on not understanding. Is she white ? Because I am not going to lie, that wouldn't be surprising. You might want to find a Latinx therapist or at the very least, if they aren't, someone who is versed in cultural identity and issues faced by descendant of migrants, ethnic minorities. They exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:57 AM
11

Honestly sis, I don't even know what to answer. You seem so defeated already, I don't even think you are in the right mental space to allow good and fulfilling friendships and relationships to enter your life. You may want to focus on yourself first and learn to be alright with yourself, learn to be happy alone so then you can attract good poeple and relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:45 AM
8

I've been single for 3 years for various reasons and I've never been so happy tbh! Also, I think you should make new friends since you said you don't have many friends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:33 AM
1

The comment that you read is vile and victim-blamey. I admit there are definitely poeple who hate pickmeishas and who victim-blame them and yes its definitely triggering.... I honestly recommend therapy, so you can work through your deepest issues in order to start rebuilding that self esteem so that, indeed, you do not hurt yourself and learn how to protect yourself as much as possible. You didn't bring it upon yourself, he is the asshole, he is the one responsible of what he did to you, he has…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:43 AM
10

You shouldn't be alone with this, mental health care professionals are more equipped to answer your questions and your concerns. http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Please be safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:39 AM
8

This is dreamy ❣ I really want to be in a marriage like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:17 AM
11

Yes, omg it's like me 2 years ago. The dude really fucked me up, it took me a year to recover. They are so so so manipulative, because they aren't even honest with themselves to begin with. Confusing guys are the goddamn worst. NEVER again. I saw the light now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:42 PM
5

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:37 PM
92

Not only are they young and have 0 self esteem , they probably come from extremely abusive environments for them to believe those gurus and narcissists are "normal" and that those relationships offer them something valuable when it doesn't. This was a sad watch. I'm glad some poeple got their lives together afterwards and extracted themselves from these toxic environments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:49 PM
4

https://youtu.be/kPvazeXmDqU
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 12:43 PM
11

I don't even think he said this in order to console her anyway... he said it because he projected his manlihood onto her, as in she is being very useful to the country at the moment and she needs to be "strong", so this idiot took some of it and told her to "man up" basically cause he is useless. It's great that she can poor her emotions somewhere, its vital for her to be able to take a breathe, so that she can actually be effective in her work and put aside things and emotions she already worke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 12:09 PM
10

That is my philosophy and exactly the reason I don't want to use them. Last time I just used one to swipe and think about other guys and get off my mind guys who I thought weren't worthy. I already deleted the app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:29 AM
5

I'm sorry but I believe it doesn't make young men any better.... I think the only way around in my opinion is to judge these men by their characters regardless of their age. However I do have reservations about older men, I wouldn't date men who only target younger women. Also I know a younger man who only dates older women, and it is equally creepy. Any man who fetichizes women in general are a red flag anyway....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 02:48 PM
6

Well I'd like to try dating an older man because I'm tired of man of my age. But I'm not desperate tbh. I just cant stand a manchild. I must add that I'm physically more attracted to guys of my age, and for that reason I'm okay to date an older man in his 30's but 40's would be a little bit too far for me at the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:00 AM
13

Oh I am a black girl, so I am well aware of this. More than just aware, unfortunately. I just said that i knew based on her post who it was targeted to, I did not state any kind of generalization...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:59 PM
35

From your title, I KNEW it was going to be women from an asian country. And the reasons behind these stereotypes he has, are extremely sad and heartbreaking. Men are so gross. And seriously, please delete him from your life. Not only is he a shitty man, he is just a shitty human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 08:58 AM
27

Also, if she is not okay with this and the OP doesnt tell her... she might be in danger. Her husband is doing extremely disturbing things right now. This person is not sane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 08:28 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy/comments/fnh2ve/leveling_up_for_your_self_esteem_best_methods_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 06:14 PM
5

From what you describe she sounds like a rebound, and whatever happened between you sounded like a rebound relationship too. It's not you nor her, its him. But once again, it wouldn't matter as much if you'd spend all that energy you are spending on guessing his thoughts into yourself, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:50 AM
4

Just wanna say, not the OP, but your comment is gold I think you nailed it.... 🤣🤩 Ah, experience and intuition do wonders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:28 AM
4

But you'll get stronger 😘 as long as you are persevering in your progression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:32 AM
17

You can interpret it however you want,truth is whatever happens with his life is not a reflection of your self worth. And the only thing you can do is work through this with that in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:20 AM
17

I know and understand. That's a difficulty feeling, esp when the relationship is short it feels like the ending is unsatisfying. But the more you try to see what he is up to, the more it will hurt and the longer it will take for you get over it. You truly need to focus on yourself and stop focusing on what he might think/feel, you cannot control this, so it is a waste of time. Truth is you don't know, and social media does not translate the complexity of one's reality, it just showcases a part o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:08 AM
17

Look, it doesn't mean much. That could be another rebound relationship for all you know. If what you say is right, it has only been a month and she is already meeting his family ? Don't pay attention to these so called "signs " of them being serious. It might be rushed and unnatural for all you know. Block him, calm your worries down with more logic and less anxiety, and focus on yourself and making yourself happy. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:00 AM
14

I seriously couldn't finish that text....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 04:57 PM
37

I know right, I've changes a lot of my reflexes those past couple of years. I feel like I've found a balance with my friends and they treat me differently. But with men.... I truly want to do whatever I want. No more giver mindset, lol. Based on my experience, they are not worthy lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:11 AM
3

Yeah it happened to me too. It's like I'm in constant need of attention or whatever. This is very infantilizing, gross and extremely frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 05:28 PM
3

I have been doing similar things for a month and sometimes having the diary throughout the whole day makes me super happy lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:52 PM
30

He is acting like you are boasting about potentially being the target of a murder..... This is what happens when tv and cinema glamorize and sexualize violence against women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:18 AM
12

Your brother is.... toxic. I hope you'll cutt him off 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 05:36 AM
19

Not fantasizing is like the hardest to me so I get you. I try to make my life as interesting as possible, I try to value myself at least 100 times more, I thoroughly observe the so called potential HVM and write down every tit bits of orange flags or character traits I might dislike so I don't idealize someone I don't know yet. I try affirmations too and of course I see other guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 05:04 AM
13

Getting the last guy I was interested in out if my head because he is not available and he missed my timing. It's not that I'm struggling cause I feel 0 urge to see him again but I wish he'd get out of my thoughts in a speedy way lol. Like, just, bye. I wish I could just do that for any guy who doesnt meet my standards ! Just, bye ! No thoughts nor energy wasted !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:04 PM
28

It's crazy..... Glad your father protected you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 08:11 AM
3

Hmmm. I just hope those are not men or but like, male redittors, who mostly think like that. Because otherwise our humanity is doomed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:21 AM
3

I sent a message, hopefully I'll get verified soon !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:45 PM
38

Please don't ever answer him, this is hilarious 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 09:33 PM
4

I was the same until a couple of months ago and I seriously am starting to change my stance and get on board with the OP. Idk, it also depends on circumstances also because I've met multiple HVMs so I started to have a choice I didn't have before. But I am starting to think that it is better to wait for that occasion and have multiple potential HVMs court you than wasting it totally on one HVM that interests you and burn your chances. I know myself and I know I would, because I was raised and so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:35 PM
1

Why not try to communicate what you feel and see how he reacts ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:53 PM
27

Your mom is awesome :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:40 AM
8

3 relationships, all of them lasted for 3 months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:38 AM
6

You need to stop thinking about men, or about what poeple think of you, or feel about your or say about you. Focus on yourself. I repeat the same affirmations every day "My thoughts should be redirected toward me because I matter the most and I can control them". Or something similar. Please focus on your self esteem. Regardless of your work, and other material things (which you can lose anytime for reasons above your full control), it does remain high regardless of any other circumstances, beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:58 PM
68

Read at 10:02pm ☠
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:20 PM
6

Write in your journal, make detailed lists about what you need to forgive yourself for and why, give all the good reasons, be your best friend and write with honesty and compassion to yourself. A journal is an amazing tool, poor all your feelings with love and a tender look, try to tame your internal bully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 03:52 PM
9

It's on prime in France. Yesterday night I wanted to watch a movie and I was recommended this movie ad soon as I open my prime account . 💀 I'm not a huge fan of that sentence that puts women at the place of an object.... at all. Still these pickmeishas stories are great because gosh can we identify to every character....!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:06 AM
9

No stress about pleasing / not pleasing Low pressure life cause I don't have to make any effort into not caring about what's not in my control (aka men nonsensical actions) I feel so free
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:10 PM
4

That's pretty much whats happening to me right now. I am courted by an amazing HVM who has an awesome personality, good looking, great job, my age etc etc. I just don't see him as more than a friend and I am dropping hints and pretty sure he is getting v them 5/5, just hoping I'd change my mind, but I enjoy the courting and he takes me to nice dates so yeah. And for now it makes me feel good about myself. I just ain't flirting with him but i never had difficulties with making it clear at some po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:02 PM
14

It is so difficult not to be intimidated or impressed or letting the chemistry get the best out of me tbh.... I'll take these advices in lol cause for now I don't have any idea how to deal with it except putting myself on a pedestal and constantly tell me I'm the catch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:55 PM
18

So last time I trusted my intuition about a guy everything was revealed to be right. I just guessed whatever was going on with him based off solely on his behavior with me, and literally no other external pieces of info. I feel amazing about that. And now I feel like it gives me ground to trust myself, and build a trustworthy relationship with myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:11 AM
5

Personally I agree with you. Those experiences were necessary otherwise I wouldn't have had them and I would repeat them forever stuck in a circle. It is because I used those experience to transform me that i stopped the scenario from happening again. I'm not sure I'm completely cured but I can feel the change and it feels so good. If I didn't need these experience I wouldn't have had them. Simple. I accept it. It's okay to go through this, there is no reason to be harsh on yourself so I'll be c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:18 AM
5

Not mine tbh.... I take so much pride in building my own success without men. I see what I did with or without any kind of man and it truly helps me to love myself and stop lowering any kind of expectations toward anyone else. Conveniently, I believe that'll be the way I will find a high value relationship. Because I'm already so good on my own. I don't need less, but I would take more if that's what the HVM is all about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:10 AM
9

Yeah... I get why. 😶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:49 AM
2

Wow, I can't believe you can guess this from the brief description I gave you... ! Thanks !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 05:29 AM
3

Thank you for answering, I am learning so much. I agree with you about the guy in my scenario, I don't really think it was manipulative but definitely ego driven at the very least. taking notes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 08:57 PM
1

How would you describe "playing games"? For example, if a guy does things indicating he wants me to pursue him, would you say it's "playing games"? I actually didn't fall for it so I find the situation kinda hilarious because I did the equivalent of leaving him on read but irl lol which is even better (new found self control)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 05:51 PM
45

Plain evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:24 AM
7

😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:13 AM
5

Yes thank you. I've been treated like shit before, and I'm considered conventionally attractive. "Pretty girls" can have deep insecurities too and they do attract assholes who feel on fire because they can get a woman, physically, out of their reach if she had a good self esteem. Plus sometimes it's not even a question of self esteem... depending on the cultures and environments, some particular physical attributes are going to fit some men's fantasies (born out of porn, movies, or racist ideolo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 02:38 AM
11

Damn I just understood one thing.... I actually dropped my ex-boyfriends because of this (I usually provoke breakups and tried to initiate is with the last one). Which made me never have a long term relationship. And I have a huge complex about this because most women my age did have long-term relationships, and I feel slow and late, and crippled by my insecurities. But it's TRUE that I did not stay in these relationships and did not go back. Ever. Maybe it was the HVW in me who just needed to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 01:56 AM
4

Same. Men are so gross, you speak the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:28 PM
1

Yup, I'm working through it. I never want it to happen ever again. But at the same time and it might go against the grain there, it taught me so much about myself that I'm glad it happened. Otherwise I would still be in denial of how low is my self esteem and of how much work I need to put in order to restore it and finally love myself. So I'm very thankful of that guy who was the most ambiguous guy I've ever met. Now I understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:12 PM
2

Hell yeah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 11:26 AM
13

You need to embrace it and accept them. The more you fight the longer it takes to get over it. Recognize whatever is happening to you and just try to give yourself the necessary time to deal with it (a.k.a don't avoid it). Plus I believe there are different stories and different ways/amounts of time to get over things imo. Everyone is different too. What matters is that you know and understand what works for you at that particular time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 09:52 AM
10

I've slept with guys before whom I didn't feel a connection to and it didn't change afterwards. I just didn't have feelings. One of them started to get back at me for this (so.... sounds like a bit different from what you ars saying about guys' minds.....). The other, I was surprised because we had a romantic thing going on, but even after we had sex, I understood that my feelings weren't so strong. I was crazy about a guy who rejected me but we literally never had sex and my feelings were extre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:02 AM
3

My morning routines : Yoga & running, drink hot water with lemon My meditation every night Writing in my journal Reading Watching movies Etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 06:53 AM
6

This is literally a perfect post. Thank you for showing me why I like this sub. I want to have that energy with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:13 AM
5

I'm working through it but there are things that have greatly helped me those past few weeks. I keep a journal in which I list tons of things such as : - the things I have to forgive myself for and accept, even the smallest little things that bother me (actions, personality traits, everything really) - The things that I should give myself (with all the details) such as love, respect, compassion, patience, joy etc Also, I had a negative emotional experience yesterday for example and while I had t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:59 AM
7

Yeah, and eventually just leave when things don't make you happy anymore. And find someone else with what the previous relationships taught you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:06 AM
2

I understand you totally. I admit, it's a tough spot to be in, trying not to hate on pickmeishas. I personally prefer not to, and I try to remind myself of the bigger picture. As someone else said, male misogyny is so 10 times more dangerous and impactful....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:54 AM
13

I agree with your portrayal of a die hard Pickme, I still don't understand why anyone would hate them, especially men. They don't get to hate women, whether they are pickmeishas or not. Men need to know their f****** place that's all. I have compassion with pickmeishas, as a recovering one, I just either don't listen to their advice or don't even ask them any advices about men. I try my best to spot the pickme's advice and block the hell out of them in my head and I go my way. Pickmeishas, and r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 07:52 PM
6

Going to dinner with a female friend and then clubbing in an all-girls party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:33 PM
33

I agree with you soooo much. Last time I was talking about my crush at work with a friend. And I tried to understand why I had a crush on him to stop idealize him and learn more about myself and what it tells me about my self esteem, what I can expect from the situation and how I can learn from it. My crush started to flirt with me noticing my attraction. My friend immediately talked about what he must desire or not in a woman since he has a high social status and what kind of standards he must …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:54 PM
16

I love flowers so what a good idea !!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 02:13 PM
15

It would be a turn off for me, too complicated = insecure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:44 AM
3

I don't have plants but I have a cat and it's amazing to that regard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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