How often do you go on a date?

aquietsword · 2021-12-14T21:45:52+00:00

I tend to date more in the spring and summer because that's when I get out more. In the fall and winter I get wrapped up in the holidays and family and personal goals. Also, I don't trust cuffing season lol

ewokblubber · 2021-12-14T23:19:34+00:00

I might be a rarity, but I date a decent amount- usually just first, second, or third dates, though. It's rare for me to actually get past that stage.

I'd say I meet around a new man every other month, which usually translates to one to three dates a month, depending on whether the last man is still around. Of course, there are months with no date, and months with two guys parallel, but that's around the average.

It's important to note that I do literally nothing with these guys besides an activity/dinner and a conversation. I don't tell my friends about them beyond the one safety contact I always have for dates, I don't get involved with these men pysically or emotionally, it's literally all just first-date vetting.

I'm currently in a life stage where I am actively dating to find someone for a long-term relationship that might involve marriage children a few years down the line. I take it seriously and invest some time into it, but I enjoy dating as a process and like talking to strangers. The dates I go on are usually dinner or a date-appropriate activity (theatre and art museum are favourites of mine) and rarely ever horrible- they usually end because of simple compatibility issues or me not being that into the guy, and I wouldn't even dare to judge on whether or not someone is HV after one or two meetings.

I meet men through my fairly busy calendar. I attend a lot of cultural events in my area, many solo. That leads to a bunch of guys approaching me, a decent amount of which are attractive, well-kempt, and intelligent-seeming. I find that meeting men who can be considered for first dates is all about location, location, location, and being there either alone or with one or two friends max- not necessarily because a group of friends will deter HVM from approaching, but because you will be distracted by your friends and not have the kind of situational awareness that lends itself to catching a stranger's eye.

keep_my_stuff · 2021-12-14T21:52:51+00:00

Last time was in the summer, where the guy invited me to a place where (unbeknownst to me) one had to pay to enter (on a Sunday). He scurried in front of me to get a ticket just for himself. He didn't offer me a drink or anything, just wanted to sit around and talk. At some point he said "how about dinner?" (but didn't know of a place) and as I opened my phone to do the "labour" of trying to find a place that would be open, my self-respect kicked in and I thought:

- Why should I make the effort of finding a restaurant? (I felt myself even more turned off as I slowed down and saw the situation more clearly).

- I don't want to spend more time with him

- Obviously he's gonna ask to split, and I have food at home.. why waste money AND time?

So I said I don't feel like having food and disappeared.

purasangria · 2021-12-15T00:34:57+00:00

I'd never go on a date with someone that I couldn't imagine sleeping with, and most 40s and 50s men are physically repulsive. I'm offered lots of dates, but have only accepted one over the past year. He screamed at me over dinner because I knew more about history than he did. I got up and walked out.

Most men don't measure up, and I'm not seeing the benefit of having one around, except perhaps for the occasional reminder of why I'm so happy single.

Saga-the-fierce · 2021-12-14T21:25:13+00:00

Last date I went on was Feb. 2017. But I’m 42 and vowed to myself on that date to never go on one again where I wasn’t actually attracted to the guy. I also don’t do OLD. I’m fine with being single; I love my life.

Dstar538888 · 2021-12-15T00:03:42+00:00

I haven't been on a date in a little over a year...I've had dudes offer, but it's either guys I'm not interested in or guys who I had an initial interest for, but they do something that turns me off and then I'm no longer interested... I'm honestly not pressed to date tbh because a lot of these males are low value and a waste of time

snowwhite224 · 2021-12-14T22:56:07+00:00

I’ve been on one date. I say “date” lightly. It was August 2020 and he was from OLD. We met at Starbucks, and he got there way before me and ordered his drink. I was immediately turned off. I found FDS days later and have been leveling up ever since. Lol

warinmymind94 · 2021-12-15T04:55:48+00:00

Honestly I usually only have a date every other month. I get approached by men in public and I check my OLD here and there but hardly anyone can pass the basic criteria of: no kids, supports themselves, doesn't live with their parents, decent job, and their own reliable transportation. I'm getting close to 30 I have my own job, am independent, have my own working car, and my own place - kids are a dealbreaker for me because I don't want kids.

To be honest I block or walk away from them usually before a first date can happen.

I'd like to have a scrotation but I can't even find one guy to pass basic vetting.

Platipus6 · 2021-12-14T22:45:27+00:00

I used to go on 1 date a week because I lOwErEd my sTanDardS and gave unattractive men the shot they 'deserved'.

It was self harm being across the table from men I had no interest in looking at. Snaggled, brown teeth with yellow chunks in them, pornsick eyes, hocking snot, lying about not being a smoker, sausage fingers with ragged nails, glancing at my chest, asking if we should 'get out of here' to.. go have sex. They had nothing to talk about except their boring lives, ex-wife drama and their porn-addled fantasies. Repeatedly asking 'so what else do you like in the bedroom' and believing they were being smooth and charming.

Then near the end, realising I was sentient and more intelligent than them. So they made a last ditch attempt to salvage their ego with some lame neg or excuse, then they'd scurry away. "I bet you work out a lot, huh?" said a podgy, weak, effeminate man who hadn't lifted anything heavier than a beercan in the past 4 years. Yes, my guy. I care about my health and I won't be your motivational gym buddy, only to be mocked the second you lift 1kg more than me and feel like the king of the world...

I'd start again now that it's summer, but omicron's hitting the clubs harder than a balding, middle aged man who wants kids someday.

CatSweets · 2021-12-15T00:58:43+00:00

I don't go on a date since March/2020. I discovered FDS in july of the same year, I'm out of OLD for good, so I don't meet any men.

Before FDS, I rarely used to go on dates as well. I talked to some men on OLD but met very few of them. Maybe once, twice a year. I don't usually get approached in "real life", but I'm not going back to dating apps, so I think it'll take more years before I go on a date again.

subgirlygirl · 2021-12-15T04:40:38+00:00

My last date was in March. I had some pickme tendencies rush to the surface, but I beat them down and said NO MORE until I get that shit handled for real, no more slips. Walked away unscathed, but humbled. So, I'm handling it. Doing my thing. Relearning. Remembering. Recommitting. I'm whip quick with 90% of it, but that 10% with a good story still gets me sometimes. So, I'm thinking maybe early Spring. Maybe...

Pryras · 2021-12-15T00:08:25+00:00

Once every 5 months or so. I can’t roster date because I find it so draining to talk to multiple men at once. I also don’t give most men a chance and when I do I get turned off quickly which stops me from “getting back” into the dating sphere

ceramicunicorn · 2021-12-15T00:14:06+00:00

In this week’s installment of It’s Not Unique to You, It’s Systemic!......wow these dates sound soooo bad! It’s wild to me that men claim they have sexual “needs”, yet are totally unwilling to plan a dinner, nice drinks and snacks, or activity date. Unless celibacy is at an all time high, I guess there are still enough pick-me’s out there for supply. But I just can’t go back to that life. It sucked. I never felt peace.

I think my last date was a year ago. He was not a gentleman in terms of my safety when we turned out to be in an unsafe area. You just get burned out on dudes whose #1 priority is “not doing too much”, and consequently shooting themselves in the foot. I do keep my apps active and check back here and there, but all of them tell on themselves before a date can ever be set up, so I take OLD no more seriously than I would occasionally buying a lottery ticket as a financial strategy. Anyway I gain more satisfaction from talking to people who don’t see me as a dating prospect, and who thus see me as an autonomous being with an inner life, not a potential service provider.

Healingirl · 2021-12-14T23:23:13+00:00

Yeah I am the same last date I've been on was 5 weeks ago or so and it was from OLD. I am not much on OLD these days which reduces considerably your options whether good or not... plus when on it don't find many suitable men to begin with. So I never really understood how anyone scrotates to be honest... either you are on OLD and you give the benefits of the doubt to all guys on it or... I don't know how one does

Astral_weaver · 2021-12-14T21:42:42+00:00

I'm like you, I don't date much nowadays. Since FDS I've become very picky, so I don't find most men dateable to begin with. Last time I went on a date was this spring and I didn't clicked with the guy at all.

Additionally I think that multi-dating requires full time effort either being on OLD apps or being extremely social. I can be really social, but working and studying full time leave me with limited time that I prefer to spend with my close friends and doing hobbies. On top of that, the last two years of covid restrictions did not help at all for being sociable and opening my circle.

Nevertheless I don't really miss dating or the attention of men, I have so many other things going on, so spending time on dating really seems irrelevant.

tellmesomething11 · 2021-12-15T01:44:37+00:00

My friend went on a date with a guy and invited me lol. We all hung out, went to an exhibit (I paid for myself for the exhibit).

He seemed nice for my friend. He drives an expensive car. But when the bill came he wanted to split it three ways. I don’t mind paying for myself but I’m not going to continue hanging out lol. He wanted to go to a club after but I told my friend I was punching out ….and she should too, since he made her pay. It was just weird, him nickel and diming (it was like 30 each) when he drove a 100k car. Meanwhile a guy I knew from high school had literally just got released from jail and offered to pay for both of us for dinner lol. It’s a crazy world.

Japanese_Lasagna · 2021-12-15T04:59:28+00:00

Last time was a bit over 2 years ago. I got asked out a couple times during 2020, but I was quite firm on my boundaries as I was concerned about potentially catching COVID and my intended dates were too carefree on that subject, so those went nowhere. Before the dates I had in 2019 the last time I’d gone on a date was a couple years before that.

I easily go years in between going on a couple dates. Basically, I get to a point where I’m like “I’m ready to date again!” Then I go on a few lackluster or terrible dates while having lackluster or terrible conversations with others, and things don’t work out. After a couple of weeks or months of this, inevitably I decide to take a pause on dating and focus on goals related self-improvement. I tend to lose interest in dating fast. At this point, I’m not planning to date for at least another 2 years. I have certain goals I want to achieve first before I try dating again.

MissouriBlue · 2021-12-15T08:08:24+00:00

So, I’ve gotta say that my last date, Real date, was probably in 2008. A husband and a Narcissist ago. 😳

But I date myself almost every week. I dated myself twice this week because I went out (wearing my new Diamond earrings, I must say) a second time this week after a particularly stressful but successful day.

Getting out and doing things I enjoy will be where I meet the guy(s) who like the same things I like. And it may take several times of seeing each other in that setting to actually strike up a personal conversation… so Imma going to keep doing my thing. LOL!

curlyhaiir · 2021-12-14T23:39:47+00:00

I have my first date in years on Thursday. I wasn’t even looking for someone since I am taking a break from dating but I met him through mutual friends and so far he has made a good impression on me.

katiekat0214 · 2021-12-14T21:19:52+00:00

About 30 years since I've dated anyone new! LOL Married twice for 25 years. Way out of the dating game. I'd love someone who's "grey sexual" like me, but romantic, for companionship and cuddles, so long as he has his own house and his own money.

DifferentBar6 · 2021-12-14T21:31:25+00:00

I don't date.

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2021-12-14T23:04:35+00:00

my HV boyfriend takes me out every week

Professional-Ad-457 · 2021-12-15T07:44:47+00:00

After I was vaccinated I did OLD and was going on approx one new date a week. As I absorbed FDS principles more I went on less and less new dates as they all messed up before the first date (usually during the vetting call) and I developed zero tolerance policy so was down to rotation of one due to high standards. Came off OLD a few months ago and finished with the bloke. Since then I’ve met five decent new guys in the wild (through a sport) who’ve made it clear they fancy me, but they’re not asking me out. They could be in relationships for all I know and just flirting 🤢. The rest of my time I spend with women friends when I’m out and I don’t want to be on the pull when I’m out with them as they are not. Rethinking my meeting men strategy for 2022. I do not want to go back to OLD. Unfortunately for us, living in a pandemic is not conducive for meeting new people.

fireforestfairy · 2021-12-15T10:46:00+00:00

I've never been on a date. I've never come across a guy I am interested in dating to who is single and likes me back. And yeah, multi-dating is technically "hard" given how so many men have noticeable red flags so it's not like you want to date them. I think multi-dating is a theoretical thing that encourages women not to become too attached to any guy you are initially dating as opposed to actually encouraging women to date a lot of men just for the sake of multi-dating.

waddamelone · 2021-12-15T09:51:36+00:00

When I was dating men I would probably go on 1-3 dates a year. And sometimes none cause I wasn’t feeling the whole dating thing. They weren’t worth my time and there was never a second date cause they were doodoo.

This year I dated 2 people. One of which I’m in a relationship with now. My country is currently in a lockdown (again 🙄) so I’m not really able to go on dates. But me and my boyfriend would (try to) go on a date every week.

Dey_la_soul · 2021-12-15T11:12:07+00:00

I haven’t gone on a date in a little over one year. I recently had 3 pre-date video calls after I reactivated my OLD profile again. The pre-date call is a game changer, as I discovered none of these guys were suitable to advance to an actual date.

One guy basically revealed he was an alcoholic (“I can drink 7 drinks and not be drunk but the last girl I was dating stopped seeing me because she thought it was unhealthy” 🚩).

Another guy hung up on me when I told him that I only have sex when I’m in a committed relationship (the call kept dropping due to connection issues but shortly after I made that comment, the “call dropped” and he didn’t call back or message me 😂. Why are you even bringing sex up during our first conversation?? 🚩)

Another guy revealed he had a son. Not interested.

It made me realize that I’m not missing anything on OLD. I’m continuing to focus on leveling up and only want to meet a man IRL.

Title	How often do you go on a date?
Author	Saga-the-fierce
Upvotes	268
Comments	69
Date	December 14, 2021 9:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rghfd0/how_often_do_you_go_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-often-do-you-go-on-a-date.1092438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092438

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