"In Defense of Men: When did it become OK for women to be sexist?" An article by Kate Bartolotta

creepyeyes · 2012-07-02T06:17:02+00:00

This woman gets it. We're all human, our wants and needs aren't so different, even if society likes to pretend otherwise.

CaptainUltimate28 · 2012-07-02T12:24:14+00:00

Why does female empowerment have to go hand in hand with emasculation?

I'm curious about this myself.

oneiorosgrip · 2012-07-02T09:49:05+00:00

The one thing I would say about this is that it's not new. What's more along the lines of new is social acceptance of women's oversensitivity to some things.

Men and women have joked about each other as described in the article forever... now men aren't socially "allowed" but women still are.

Men and women have been coarse with each other (though at times, less crude about it than to use "fuckface") forever. Now, men aren't socially "allowed" but women still are.

Now, women can be rude and crude, where for some time doing so got us labeled as not ladies, and not good enough for polite society. So women can be more obvious about it now, but that sexism has always been there. The differences are that it's more blatant, maybe more widespread (now that it's spoken in public, instead of when it's just us) and sometimes more harsh... and now, men aren't socially "allowed" to defend themselves in kind.

What has changed is not that women became allowed to be sexist. It's that women are allowed to be sexist in front of men, and that men aren't allowed to defend themselves. What has really changed is that behavior which used to go both ways has been deemed unacceptable - but just at the male end of the spectrum.

Xanthan81 · 2012-07-02T05:00:27+00:00

Wait, so when the yoga teacher told the guy to take off his shirt or leave, was that serious or a joke? If I were in that situation, I'd say I'd only take off my shirt if all the girls in the room had to take their shirts off as well. If she really made me leave for refusing (if it was not a joke), I would actually take her and the studio to court..

FreddyDeus · 2012-07-02T11:00:45+00:00

Being strong should have nothing to do with cutting someone else down

And here we get to the nub of the problem. The problem the author writes about isn't about strong, confident women. It's about insecure women who have to pick on someone else to boost their own pathetic sense of inadequacy.

It's why in the school playground, the big dumb kids pick on the smaller bright kids. Low self-esteem plus the ability to intimidate.

School thugs can do it because of their ability to physically intimidate.

Women can do it because they are protected from male 'aggression', even when that 'aggression' is nothing more than self-defence.

alphawr · 2012-07-02T13:40:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Luriker · 2012-07-02T05:13:33+00:00

I miss being sensitive. I don't mean that by any means masculinity has overshadowed my ability to be outwardly sensitive. I feel like I'm missing a key part to the human experience because I've emotionally locked my self-worth into a place where only I can access it. I miss having my feelings hurt, because that's a reminder that, not only do you have them, but you have them in such a good way that the contrast is obvious.

123ggafet · 2012-07-02T06:24:55+00:00

The comments are horrendous.

2012-07-02T11:38:40+00:00

I appreciate the article, and the issue that most stood out was that of cutting others down to 'feel' better than them. It's a perception thing, where the offender has to do this to boost their ego, otherwise they are not validating their supremacy.

I don't mind people slinging stones my way... So long as I can sling my stones back. However, the current state of affairs leaves males often in the shoes of a peasant attempting to retaliate against a lord; with their protections of knights and the king's court behind them.

Hypersapien · 2012-07-02T11:58:06+00:00

Right around the time they decided that it was impossible for women to be sexist because sexism was somehow all wrapped up with how much power a person has.

2012-07-02T03:12:58+00:00

I just read this article by Kate Bartolotta and found it very well written, interesting, and thought-provoking.

BTW - Kate's article can also be found in this month's edition of Menletter; see www.menletter.org for more.

2012-07-02T16:52:45+00:00

It all comes back to the fact that men are the disposable gender.

Smelle · 2012-07-02T06:48:57+00:00

You ask it as if they never stopped.

The_Broken_Nigel · 2012-07-02T03:56:12+00:00

This is an awesome article, and is just what is needed - in 1983 . Now, however, its much too little, much too late.

I mean, dont get me wrong. Im grateful for even this much feminist attention. But all its going to do is reduce the angle of impact when the plane hits for a few degrees.

Tontolou · 2012-07-02T04:53:32+00:00

Nice article.

Ma99ie · 2012-07-02T19:58:13+00:00

no. No. NO!!! You guys don't understand. There is no such thing as sexism against men, because sexism against men is impossible, because patriarchy - or so I've been led to believe by present feminist thought.

Ashken · 2012-07-02T20:23:11+00:00

I read this comment and thought I would show it:

One of the biggest challenges I feel as a man is the expectation that I will play a traditional masculine role in romantic relations. Of course, socially skillful people have no problem adopting different roles in different situations. But, this is hard if you are trying to live from the heart. One or the other must be a charade. What does this do to us?

That was just an interesting comment to me. It's a wonderful observation and I often feel the same way.

2012-07-02T10:51:09+00:00

Only problem with the article is that it's typeset like an infographic for kids.

sonofamitch23 · 2012-07-02T22:30:53+00:00

Always nice to see one of them on our side. That's what it will take.

JockeVXO · 2012-07-02T23:48:12+00:00

It's always been..? It used to be acceptable to be sexist against men and women, but not anymore, now it's just against men. Maybe that's what's being referred to....

TRAUMAjunkie · 2012-07-02T18:42:11+00:00

Sounds like she has some horrible friends. I don't know any females that believe this type of behavior is acceptable.

tinker_bell · 2012-07-02T21:33:39+00:00

I want to make something clear: none of those situations in isolation are really sexist. They become sexist only if that person treating the other sex better. Being an ass to someone doesn't automatically make them a sexist, it just makes them an ass. The reason women like to misuse that term and also the word "misogyny" is because those words obviously carry a lot more weight. They're drawing attention to the way that the person on the receiving end of this mistreatment is a woman, which gets people to care more since humans are instinctively driven to care more about women.

ThePigman · 2012-07-02T09:18:17+00:00

Why can’t women get mad cow disease? They get it all the time, but nobody notices the difference.

Title	"In Defense of Men: When did it become OK for women to be sexist?" An article by Kate Bartolotta
Author	isthisnuf
Upvotes	661
Comments	127
Date	July 2, 2012 3:05 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vwnhz/in_defense_of_men_when_did_it_become_ok_for_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/in-defense-of-men-when-did-it-become-ok-for-women.1018751 https://theredarchive.com/post/1018751

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