Dear Sluts (NSFW)

gybryant · 2011-05-05T13:28:52+00:00

I usually put it this way:

I decide to take a stroll through a rough part of town with $100 bills hanging out of my pocket. Do I have every right to do so in safety? Of course I do. If I get the crap beaten out of me and my money taken, am I partially to blame? Yes, yes I am. Should those that robbed me be punished? Yep, they should. Should I be called an idiot for walking through a rough part of town with cash falling out of my pockets? Yes; because I am, in fact, an idiot.

Leko05 · 2011-05-05T18:52:42+00:00

The part that troubles me as a woman, is how sexy is too sexy? This can seriously get confusing, particularly when different people have wildly different definitions. I mean I could play it safe and wear and turtle neck and baggy pants every day, but is there a grey area? And please no responses like short skirts and high heels, because what if I want a 4 inch heel or have a blouse on that's partially unbuttoned? Men might brush this off, but for women this is of legitimate concern on an everyday basis. My point is that most of us see rape as an unprovoked attack, a normal person doesn't think about raping someone, so safeguarding against it seems like a daunting, contradictory and even self censoring phenomena.

TheChosenOne570 · 2011-05-05T12:07:36+00:00

I agree with the spirit of the article... however, the language put me off a bit. When I see good, thought-provoking articles, I like to put them on facebook for my friends and family to see. It would be easy for people to interpret this negatively. More mature language would definitely drive the point home better.

ignatiusloyola · 2011-05-05T09:00:27+00:00

I've lost a lot of karma in 2x for saying this. We do have a responsibility to protect ourselves - within reason.

The problem is that the word slut has been thrown around to describe a lot of activities and a lot of different kind of people. From women who use their bodies to make money and get things, to women wearing mini-skirts to the club, to little girls who were looking for father figures and ended up getting raped. I realize the writer is talking about the first type of woman but it's a little like those people who say, "I hate niggers. Oh, and not all black people are niggers, just the bad ones." It's just a word that incites a lot of feelings and should be used carefully.

porn_flakes · 2011-05-05T14:11:49+00:00

Dave Chappelle is relevant.

recoil669 · 2011-05-05T15:17:49+00:00

How does this belong in /mensrights? This should go into /misogyny if there is such a thing. Or perhaps in /betas

flaunting her sexual power over men.

A woman may have sexual power over the author but to say they do over all of us is a disgusting generalization. I am genuinely offended by this thinking; no woman has sexual power over me.

social convention against sexual victimization breaks down under the influence of drugs, alcohol, and provocation.

That makes it ok to happen? Putting blame on victims is justice sin.

put a positive shine on acting like a sexually irresponsible jackass.

Slut shaming and stud faming are equally stupid, one of the most important double standards to squash of our generation. Female sexuality should not be equated to irresponsibility. There are obviously appropriate and inappropriate ways to embrace, celebrate, and practice your sexuality.

This thread is disgusting and I'm disappointed in /mensrights. This is not the place for slut bashing, this is a place for quelling the men's rights violations that stem from the swinging axe of feminism and unequally written/exercised law.

Anyone who is here to simply hate on women need to get the fuck over themselves and stop perpetuating the cycle that got us here in the first place.

I wholly reject the notion of your username!!!!!

skorsak · 2011-05-05T15:40:36+00:00

What does this have to do with men's rights?

stumpy2121 · 2011-05-05T11:04:41+00:00

self protection is absolutely important. but no one is to blame for rape besides rapists. if i see someone has left their car door open it doesn't make it less of a crime to steal their car, and it sure as hell isn't an invitation to steal their car... that would be my retarded idea. responsibility for rape rests solely on the rapists shoulders. i dont care if the chick is walking down the street drunk and naked, forcing someone to have sex with you is wrong and entirely your fault.

Shattershift · 2011-05-06T05:08:14+00:00

It struck me that promiscuous clothing is only the minor first part of a problematic situation, the more powerful factors being:

alcohol

and

uncontrolled situation

I think that says a lot about the issue, that the clothing is a pretty small part of it.

conn1e · 2011-05-05T11:58:46+00:00

This is incredibly stereotyped and incorrect. It's why that cop got so much crap. You're talking a tiny, teeny, small, minature group of women who do this and get raped.

Women, as a majority whole, are taught to dress appropriatly. Rapists, as a majority, rape due to power/mental illness. Rapists, as a majority, are more likely to be your creepy uncle than some guy in a bar. MR complains about perpetuating stereotypes, then you go and do it to women.

You all hate looking like evil rapist men, then you tell women to look less slutty so you wont rape them. WHAT?!

SETHW · 2011-05-05T13:47:32+00:00

bullshit stop trying to control or shame what other people do with their genitals

Sarstan · 2011-05-05T16:13:01+00:00

While I like the nature of the article, it side steps two big points that need to be made VERY clear so this type of bullshit "Slutwalk" crap can end.
First, rape occurs most often by someone known, very often inside the perpetrator's home or the victim's, and is far from just so stranger going at it in a dark alley. I don't know about any of you, but if I was crazy enough to do some raping, it's not going to be shoving the girl against a dumpster.

Second, alcohol is involved in most cases. We have date rape, which is considered to be an actual rape, but consenting while intoxicated should completely count to the same scale as being sober. Why? Because if I could get drunk and sign off on a high scale apartment, trash the place, then wake up the next morning, I can't exactly say "Oh, I was drunk and couldn't think straight, so I shouldn't be held accountable for any of my actions." If anyone has a gripe about this, then don't get drunk, especially outside of your home. I don't get drunk at a bar because I don't want someone to steal my wallet (at the least) if I pass out.

venomoushealer · 2011-05-05T13:42:50+00:00

I think that "slut" should be either removed or redeemed for women and "creeper" should be either removed or redeemed for men.

carlottavaldez · 2011-05-05T22:53:58+00:00

So what about women who are raped while walking home from work in a turtleneck?

nanomagnetic · 2011-05-05T17:25:11+00:00

Can I just say that the conversation here is at least 10x better than the article itself? Some days I worry about the hostility and anger that just stews here. Then, like today, shit gets real and everyone seems to be contributing good points!

OfficerMudkip · 2011-05-06T00:34:37+00:00

Great, an article blaming the victim. This is why people hate MRAs.

Mitch_NZ · 2011-05-05T19:36:37+00:00

Wow, one of the dumbest articles I've ever read on this subreddit. I'm astounded that the author is intent on re-reclaiming the word slut as a negative slur on those he perceives to be transgressing his sexual boundaries.

runblue · 2011-05-05T17:55:13+00:00

I don't know what the author is trying to say. That women shouldn't be allowed to dress slutty? Or that they just shouldn't complain about the outcome?

It seems to me that the clothing is not the problem, it is the behavior. You can wear all the bling you want, just not in a back alley. You can dress like a slut, but maybe should not make out with strangers on dance floors? Everyone's idea of beauty is different. What you think looks slutty is pretty to others. We shouldn't put women in burkas. Isn't the real issue immature and sexually uneducated women?

Samzo · 2011-05-05T14:56:20+00:00

I, for one, disagree with this smug douchebag. He's a complete moron for even thinking about equating getting raped to getting mugged.

thetrollking · 2011-05-05T18:52:13+00:00

Is that picture at the top what makes this NSFW? I am confused. I have seen much, MUCH, more skin at every workplace than what is in that pic. I see more camel toe and whale tales and tramp stamps and nipples in college classes during cold weather from women than what is in that pic.

inkathebadger · 2011-05-06T05:14:55+00:00

I don't like his connection of being a sexual victim means you must have been asking for it.

For goodness sake there are men who subscribe to /r/mensrights who have been raped.

All claims should be taken seriously but investigated thoroughly to make sure there is no miscarriage of justice.

Title	Dear Sluts (NSFW)
Author	avoiceformen
Upvotes	92
Comments	179
Date	May 5, 2011 8:04 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/h4ofv/dear_sluts_nsfw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dear-sluts-nsfw.1040231 https://theredarchive.com/post/1040231

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