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UK: Female who stalked male college worker, 42, is slapped with a restraining order. She smashed up his sports car, followed him to Benidorm and spray painted 'n**ce' on his fence OP: He lost his job and she was still not jailed

furchfur

January 14, 2022
1560 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10402005/Teenager-19-stalked-college-worker-42-slapped-restraining-order.html
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Title UK: Female who stalked male college worker, 42, is slapped with a restraining order. She smashed up his sports car, followed him to Benidorm and spray painted 'n**ce' on his fence OP: He lost his job and she was still not jailed
Author

furchfur

Upvotes 1560
Comments 191
Date January 14, 2022 9:58 AM UTC
(4 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/s3orpb/uk_female_who_stalked_male_college_worker_42_is/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/uk-female-who-stalked-male-college-worker-42-is.1096287
https://theredarchive.com/post/1096287
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Comments

[–]john35093509 290 points291 points292 points 4 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

What is the word "n**ce"? Anyone?

[–]xx_DEADND_xx 221 points222 points223 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

Nonce

[–]john35093509 149 points150 points151 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Why the asterisks? Is this some kind of slur?

[–]KoDa6562 240 points241 points242 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Nonce is a British slur, and a very fun one at that. Even though it means someone who is a pedo/sexually assaults kids, it's more of an insult that you'd use at a friend who is being a bit of a dick. Examples of usage: "Calm down and stop acting like a nonce." "Dave, yer being a bit of a nonce." "I caught you staring at her you fucking nonce"

[–]ITriedLightningTendr 59 points60 points61 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

What do british programmers call a nonce token?

[–]goawayion 83 points84 points85 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Prince Andrew? Idk

[–]LateralLimey 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's the Grand Old Nonce of York.

[–]Kommander-dudebro 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Never mind the Lord of the nonce, euh I mean Lord of Rotherham.

[–]Beautiful_Milk8838 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

lol

[–]All-of-Dun 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

A nonce token, followed by a chuckle

[–]LTower 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Fun fact I recently heard about the word nonce.

It actually comes from prisons.

Nonce stands for: Not On Normal Communal Exercise… for obvious reasons, pedos are not on normal communal exercise.

Hence they’re referred to as nonces in prisons by the guards.

It truly blew my mind.

[–]Skruestik 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s a backronym if I’ve ever seen one.

[–]Ariliescbk 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

wait, really? I thought it was just a slur like calling someone a moron.

[–]Steeled14 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Call someone who is an asshole a pedo? Sounds like a bit of a random meme but I’ll take it

[–]Richardsnotmyname 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"who is being a bit of a dick." So in a way she left her signature?

[–]VeteranOfDepression 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

nonce2 /näns/ nounDEROGATORY•INFORMAL noun: nonce; plural noun: nonces a person convicted of a sexual offense, especially child molesting.

[–]Rockbottom503 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a less polite way of basically calling someone a pedophile.

[–]sleepercell13 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait, there are polite ways to call someone a child fucking/touching waste of life?

[–]BassotheDog 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The funny thing is, down in the South (or at least where I'm from) nonce means idiot however I will refrain from saying it just in case the person on the receiving end believes I'm calling them a pedo rather than stupid.

[–]xx_DEADND_xx 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it is used mainly in britain

[–]nikgtasa 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Noice

[–]Ravore 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Unironically thought she wrote that and was like “hmm what a weird transition”

[–]johnny5semperfi -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice

[–]therealstealthydan 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was wondering why she wrote nice on his fence too

[–]ecarner1 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Toight!

[–]Crushed_95 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hell! I thought it was "Niece"! Lol

[–]drydenmanwu 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Reminds me of the time I played an MMO and typed “snake” into the chat. It filtered me to “s****” and I’ve been dumbfounded about it since.

[–]Dnny10bns 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Noice

[–]vladtheinhaler0 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have been racking my brain... All I can think of is noice

[–]Blazemaxim 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Niece

[–]Omz-bomz 185 points186 points187 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

That psyco and the story aside, I saw this:

smashed up his sports car

She vandalised his Ford Kuga

I don't think they know what a sports car is...

[–]ElicitCS 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't disrespect the Sport KA

[–]Cerda_Sunyer 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We call that car a grocery getter where I am from

[–]CranverrySweet 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you seen European roads?

[–]Omz-bomz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

yees? I have driven on a LOT of them.
Still doesnt't make a Kuga a sports car.

[–]cptjoho 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It probably was a Ford Cougar, which is indeed a sports car

[–]Omz-bomz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Even if it was meant to be a Ford Cougar, the only thing that has in common with a sports car is having two doors. Its a "sports" coupe, with poor handling and relative small engine. Only thing that is somewhat good with it, is it's aerodynamics.

[–]krayhayft 258 points259 points260 points 4 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

He broke rule #1.

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

[–]DirtyMrPerv 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I thought rule #1 was if you're going to stick dick in crazy, make sure she doesn't know where you live.

[–]Considered_Dissent 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a rule with a bunch of clauses.

Go at least 2 cities over. Rent a hotel. Use a fake name. Pay in cash.

[–]CryingMadGirl 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If she does know where you live, identify as a woman and beat her, you’ll get away with it /j

[–]sgt_oddball_17 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Rule #2: Never, ever break Rule #1

[–]DecimatingDarkDeceit 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Many men deliberately broke that rule, and they pay for it...

[–]Sea2Chi 58 points59 points60 points 4 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

The problem is crazy often starts off seeming really fun.

"Hi, I'm so crazy that even though we just met, I'm going to form a crazy strong attachment to you and tell you how amazingly perfect I think you are. You're so much better than my jerk of an ex who was always getting involved with the police (she'll leave out that he was the one calling them). In fact, you're so amazing I think we should go out to your car right now so we can do freaky sex stuff your exes would never agree to. Keep in mind, despite offering threesomes with my equally crazy best friend/arch enemy and cheating on you constantly, if you ever so much as speak with another woman, I'll kill your fucking cat and arrange its entrails in the shape of a heart on your front lawn. Because if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best! Which is something I have tattooed in Kanji on my lower back right next to the tattoo of my exes face."

[–]DecimatingDarkDeceit 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The problem is crazy often starts off seeming really fun.

Its like a predator patiently ambushes the prey.

[–]Rare-Rest9949 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It can be thrilling! Like swimming with piranhas while covered in pepperoni slices

[–]CryingMadGirl 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We should have similar list for crazy people like this as we have for sexually offenders

[–]Term_Fetten 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That escalated quickly :)

[–]harleypig 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's what sticking your dick in crazy does.

[–]piecement747 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The saddest part about ur comment is that is was th reality of my life over the last 5mo

Seemingly kind... Obsessive.. controlling.. cheated yet lied. Me bein naive, trusted. Killed my cat, two of them. Sent me pics. Sigh

[–]MastermindX 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Let's not do victim blaming.

We get enough of that from the media.

[–]StarZax 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I'm kinda surprised to see so many people not seeing the problem when saying something like that

[–]Thisappleisgreen 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Well it's cuz even if there are psycho killers out there you should be wary of them. It is not victim blaming but more of a cautious commentary on what could have been done better. You shouldn't walk alone in dark alley ways at night. Nor should you walk alone in the amazonian jungle.

[–]StarZax 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I tend to agree but talking about « rules » or stuff like that does over-simplifies things. I don't think the problem was that « you shouldn't commit with crazy people » because ... well you don't always know when a gal is crazy.

It may be the fact that she was 19 therefore way more immature. To me he was pretty stupid to have a relationship with such a young girl and playing with people's hearts is a dangerous thing and I say that to both men and women. I remember the story of an egirl who liked to toy around with boys online and they would get so mad, one just kidnapped her and cut her throat and then posted the pictures online, obviously the guy was batshit insane to do that but still wouldn't have happened if the gal wasn't playing with their emotions, is that really victim blaming to say that you might get burned if you play with fire ? I would probably blame myself and not the fire if I got too reckless with it, but I wouldn't blame myself for getting burned if I had few to 0 control on the situation and still had to face the consequences

What I mean is that you can't really blame people for not knowing when they are dealing with crazy people, but you can say that they shouldn't play with their emotions because then you could push somebody to do something unfortunate, that's a more accurate « rule » I think

[–]2bananasforbreakfast 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

He had sex with her while he was 40 and she was 17. He's a creep.

[–]geliduss 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He waited till 18 but still degenerate

[–]w1YY 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I imagine a lot of men would fall for that looking at her.

[–]yoitsericc 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm still paying for breaking that rule 7 years ago.

[+][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]PM-ME-YOUR-FLAPS 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This woman is very obviously attractive

[–]krayhayft 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Also a 19 year old that wanted to have sex with a 42 year old. Kind of a red flag.

[–]Term_Fetten 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Meh, usually it's all about the money for women.

[–]Whisper -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So, be celebate or gay?

[–]krayhayft 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't think there's crazy gay guys?

[–]InformalCriticism 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Listen, you have to understand that every illegal activity that women perform is justified under the law. /s

[–]Abstract_Knight 57 points58 points59 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

"wE lIvE oN A paTHRiaRcHy"

[+]dylangrimess -21 points-20 points-19 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

*in, and yes, we do

[–]Abstract_Knight 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women: does crime without punishing. You: "wE lIvE iN A pAtrIaRcHY"

[–]1500minus12 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Lmfao no.

[+]dylangrimess -13 points-12 points-11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmfao yes

[–]whotfgivsaneckmassa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha, we wished

[–]sicr0 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ojalá

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

How does he lose his job because she's cray cray?

[–]Gabbleducky 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Armes had lost her virginity to the father-of-two support worker at Eccles Sixth Form College in Salford, having met him two years earlier on her induction day.

He was working at the college she attended, so he was considered to be in a position of trust/authority.

It might not have been illegal, as she was an adult, but it would definitely have been against the college's policy and would have led to his dismissal.

[–]DavidZayas 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

He was her advisor at the school, it was totally justified to fire him. Not illegal but definitely unethical.

[–]Gabbleducky 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Absolutely, I work in education and I'm shocked every time I see stories like this

[–]kanniget 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She wasn't at the school for ages. She approached him, she asked for sex. But he is in the wrong because he had previously known her a s a student.

He is an idiot for going anywhere, but at what point does it move from being a position of influence ( he had bone over her anymore ) to a normal interaction between adults.

If this situation occured and neither remembered the previous relationship would this still be considered wrong?

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

We're at the point relationships are impossible really.

Flirting or dating at work is a terrible idea.

Anything involving school or a classmate is catastrophic.

It's also clearly in your best interest to not allow dates in your home due to the potentiality for damaging or false claims.

Online dating is obviously a broken, poisoned cesspool with broken, bitter people.

A number of my friends and family tried dating through church only to end up with, well, broken, bitter people.

I've been trying lately to reach out through Meetup.com and groups on that just to see what's available but even that...a number of folks are in relationships and I don't break people up.

[–]Gabbleducky 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's a struggle, but you've just got to keep going.

[–]red-tea-rex 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep your standards high for your own protection, your expectations low for your own sanity, and focus primarily on improving yourself and your situation for your own future.

[–]OctaviaPinfold 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

He learned the hard way that contrary to feminist narrative, women who want to ruin men's lives in fact exist, and they start early. On one hand he was an idiot, he's 42 and married, you can't justify his actions, on the other hand reverse the genders and you get a prison sentence with the narrative of a deranged male predator born to abuse women and should be locked up for the rest of his life, said by the judge wishing the laws allowed it.
Massive pussy pass

[–]chaun2 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

he's 42 and married,

The article indicates that the mother of his children and he have an "on again off again" relationship, I would wager he never got married.

It is also possible that they were in an "off again" phase, and he was technically a single father at that point.

[–]TRDPaul 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women can do basically whatever the fuck they like to men and receive little to no punishment

[–]MrSnrlub 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Took her virginity? I seriously doubt that.

[–]EnvironmentalWar4627 87 points88 points89 points 4 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

He lost his job and she was still not jailed

42 year old teachers always lose their job for sleeping with 17 or 18 year old students. No university wants that risk with one of their faculty.

[–]Kindly-Town 64 points65 points66 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So you agree this standard should be gender neutral?

[–]EnvironmentalWar4627 42 points43 points44 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Of course. I wouldn't employ a female teacher caught sleeping with students either.

However colleges all get to make their own decisions as this is not a law. Just a rule.

[–]Wylanderuk 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

She was not a student when they had sex. She had been kicked out

[+]Admiralthrawnbar -21 points-20 points-19 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Immaterial, he was still in a position of power, especially since she tried to get him to get her back into the college

[–]SmokeFrosting 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

lmao at one point does someone take responsibility for their actions in trying to manipulate someone?

[–]Admiralthrawnbar 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

The guy being a piece of shit does not make her less of one, both parties are at fault

[–]xoxbabygirl 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, it's just her.

[–]420Riffs 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What did he do that makes him a "piece of shit" 🥱🥱🥱🥱😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

A female came onto him, and he said yes. She then harassed and abused him. Yikes.

[–]Admiralthrawnbar 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

A woman less than half his age who was his student less than a year earlier, while he was still in a relationship with the mother his children.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

well if she was kicked out then I'm sure he's not breaking any employee rules or whatever but regardless, I'm sure the school didn't want that distraction from an easily replaceable employee.

[–]peanutbutterjams 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Male faculty, in a position of power? LOL

I once had a post-colonial lit teacher that I had the power in our student-teacher relationship because she wasn't white. She even admitted she could give me an "F" on everything because I'm white and I'd still "hold the power".

It's a nonsense argument. There's no metric. How do you measure power? What kind of power? Social power is almost always ignored whenever this subject comes up probably because it ruins the toxic theory of patriarchy.

[–]Wylanderuk -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

After the affair, not before or during from my read of the article.

He was no longer in a position of power and a random meet up away from the institution with a ex student should be out with any power dynamic.

[–]macrotransactions 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

if she is 18 it does not matter if he is her teacher

[+]Cerda_Sunyer -60 points-59 points-58 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

He is definitely not innocent in this ordeal. The girl was a virgin, what was he expecting?

[–]the-first12 63 points64 points65 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Virgin? Yeah. Right.

[–]Cerda_Sunyer 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Good point. Difficult to prove that

[–]xsplizzle 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

i cant imagine a virgin being that sexually inexperienced would be that forward

[–]No-Tough-215 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a 0 percent chance that is true.... maybe 0.01%

[–]myevillaugh 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Who cares if she was a virgin? That doesn't change anything.

[–]kanniget 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, taking a woman's virginity without providing a life long financial support mechanism and flowers is a heinous crime...

[–]Mycroft033 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Key things to remember:

By the time she told him that she was fantasizing about him, she was 18. That means a consenting adult in every state in the US, every county in the UK, and most every country around the world. You cannot blame him for everything. You cannot call her a teenager. At worst, she’s a young adult.

It sounds very sudden from the article, but realize their encounter at the bar could have been several hours long and they were probably talking for a long time, so that he would be more likely to respond to her attempt at seduction. Had she just walked up to him and immediately begged for sex, he likely wouldn’t have gone with it. But, since when women initiate, they have a 90% success rate, it’s very likely that she led by talking to him, and kept the conversation going for a while by showing significant interest.

She was not a student at the time. She had been kicked out. There was no logical link between her and the college. He didn’t screw a student.

Keep in mind that if you’re a dude going to a bar and you hit it off really well with an attractive girl (who may not have told you her age) and then the night ends in sex, you’ll be pretty happy. That’s what this looked like from his perspective.

There’s nothing in the article to indicate he was in a committed relationship at the time of the bar encounter. Don’t assume that unless you can prove it.

Don’t be so fast to blame the man. He fell for her wiles, and that’s by far more her fault than his. Stop blaming the bear for walking into the hunters trap.

[–]JangoUntamed 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Logic, reason and rationality…?

Name checks out.

[–]CryingMadGirl 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Why did he lost his job?

[–]Ok_Finger_8874 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

He was an employee of the institute and thus having an affair with a former student was deemed as unethical. As keeling him in would mean further liability and defamation. He could also be deemed as a groomer, which would further destroy the reputation of the college.

[–]CryingMadGirl 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Makes sense

[–]isisishtar 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

“Noice”?

[–]Ryanmp99 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

UK is not a real place

[–]StarZax 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The comments on the article are absolutely disgusting

[–]kellykebab 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I'd be flattered if someone spray-painted "noice" on my fence.

[–]QuintusVS 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

They spray painted "nonce", that means pedophile or child molester.

[–]kellykebab 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, obviously. Was a joke. And I don't understand why nonce would be censored, anyway.

[–]auMatech 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought it was "niece"

[–]Dnny10bns 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

'Cock, Piss, Patridge'

[–]ITriedLightningTendr 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm pretty much expecting journalists to start censoring random letters at this point.

[–]chaun2 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The word was Nonce. It is an abbreviation used in the UK prison system that stands for "Not On Normal Communal Exercise".

She was calling him a ChoMo, or if you've never been in jail in the US, a Pedo

[+]Huffers1010 -10 points-9 points-8 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

As a lot of people have correctly pointed out, there is more to this than meets the eye.

I'm about that guy's age, and I would not under any circumstances even consider jumping into bed with a woman that young, especially if she had been a student at an educational institution where I worked. The fact that she'd left the course before they had sex, is at best a feeble defence. I would still be willing, based on available information, to consider it taking advantage of his position and inappropriate behaviour on his part - not to mention intensely, intensely stupid.

That doesn't make her any less guilty of criminal damage.

Edit - Corrected myself.

[–]Old-Acanthaceae6226 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Man victimized; woman most effected.

[–]Huffers1010 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Why would she be most affected?

Frankly her reaction sounds to me like a classic case of someone regretting a one-night stand that's being massively enabled by a society that tends to excuse the stupidity of women.

[–]DemonizedHuman 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. If she is an adult then there's no problem wih them having a sexual relationship. It was she who made advances onto him. Not him. So he didn't deserve to get fired imo. How is it inappropriate behaviour on his part? If there is a fault it's with both of them.

[–]OctaviaPinfold -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

However he was (still is?) married and her support worker, i.e. he cheated on his wife and his job specifically forbids building emotional attachment, let alone sexual relationships. She was the one breaking laws and probably manipulating the guy, but that doesn't mean he did not break rules on his part.

[–]DemonizedHuman 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The post says they have an "on-off" relationship so we don't know whether he was cheating or not. But he built attachment after she left college. I don't know why it's so problematic when she is over college. She was clearly manipulating him and she destroyed his personal property. How in the hell does she not get jail time?

[–]No-Tough-215 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You're allowed to be creepy, that's the worst thing he did. Is it weird to have sex with someone 20 years younger than you? Who cares it's legal idk why we give a crap who consenting adults have sex with. She initiated conversation while 17 and still at the school. He ignored the email and they later met at a bar when she was 18 and no longer a student. she came up to him. He had no power over her.

[–]Huffers1010 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have to give you that; it's legal to be creepy. Expect to be (very reasonably) rejected by women who want any sort of worthwhile long-term involvement.

If it had been established that they were in a committed long-term relationship I might have taken a slightly more kindly attitude to it, but honestly, all this, for such a brief diversion? My takeaway from it is not that he's a bad guy, though I suspect he's not a great guy, but that he's an idiot.

[–]Gabbleducky 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely, it's a breach of professional standards

[–]macrotransactions 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

as long as both partners are old enough to consent there is nothing wrong with it

[–]fiercealmond -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd consider it. But I'm still a decade out from 40. Then I'd probably still consider it.

[+]ReasonableSignature7 -14 points-13 points-12 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

She got a bit more than just a restraining order.

They met at an induction day at college so he was in a position of trust. Read the article because it's being misrepresented here

[–]fiercealmond 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

"A position of trust" this is so stupid. People should be held responsible for their choices, not treated like they can be fucking hypnotised by some fucking office worker

[–]No-Tough-215 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

By that logic the president can't fuck his wife (or husband)

[–]fiercealmond 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao that's a great point. There's always some kind of power dynamic going on between people. It's just not someone else's fault if you open your legs or get your dick out and fuck someone. You chose that. Just because they were your boss or teacher (or in this case apparently just some administrative guy?!) it doesn't make it their fault.

[–]Admiralthrawnbar 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's the same reason bosses can't sleep with their subordinates, or fraternization between the ranks in the army is forbidden. The person below can feel pressured to start or maintain a relationship fearing the other might negatively affect their career, or try and use their relationship to get the other to artificially boost their career. It's not stupid, it exists for a reason.

[–]fiercealmond -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Felt pressured, boo fucking hoo. I feel pressured to do a lot of things. It doesn't make it someone else's fault if I cave to that pressure. And it certainly doesn't make it anyone else's responsibility for what I choose to do

[–]ReasonableSignature7 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Cue the outrage when women in positions of trust abuse boys

He IS being held responsible for his choices, rightly so

[–]fiercealmond 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Wtf? You got my comment totally backwards. The chick was an adult and chose to sleep with the guy who worked at the school. It's HER I'm saying should take responsibility for fucking some guy who works at the college and not being able to get him fired

[–]ReasonableSignature7 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He got fired because of his own choices. She wasn't an adult in a position of trust over him, he was over her. I'm certain he knew fine well what the consequences could be when he took her to bed

[–]sea666kitty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wtf

[–]dgillz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yank here. What is "n**ce" supposed to mean? I cannot think of any word that needs to be censored that fits this pattern.

[–]xoxbabygirl 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It means "nonce", it's British slang for a pedophile. Another comment explained it better than I can.

[–]eldred2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It was your first intimate relationship and he should have know better not to have sex with you.

As if she wasn't involved with the decision...

[+]reliczexide -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Alright, I read the article and the sentencing was fair. The only thing is that I nowhere did I read she will be reimburse him for damages done. Getting fired from his job was justified as you should not be fucking a student. It was a gross misconduct. The guy is married too, so he cheated on his wife.

[–]__pebble____ 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The sentencing was absolutely not fair. In the UK, vandalism is sentenced with either 3 months imprisonment or a £2,500 fine. Stalking and harassment is sentenced with up to 10 years imprisonment. She received none of this. She just got kicked out of college and received a slap on the wrist from the justice system.

[–]xoxbabygirl 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Note, he wasn't married.

[+]warlockjmr89 -18 points-17 points-16 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

To be honest there is more to this if you read the article. He lost his job due to gross misconduct. Definitely deserving it for fucking a girl who was at a sixth form he worked at

[–]Huffers1010 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She wasn't actually at an educational institution he'd worked at; she fairly recently had been.

Whether you think that's OK or not is a dicey choice; I think he was amazingly stupid to have done it, knowing what the reaction was likely to be. You and I don't have to like that reaction for it to be reasonably predictable.

[–]Abstract_Knight 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She should still be on jail or receive a punishment because of her actions.

Just because this guy wasn't the best person doesn't mean the other one should not be punished.

[–]fuckredditors123 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Right so you judge him so accurately. So what about her. Are you judging her as accurately? She WRECKED his car. What about her punishment?

[–]warlockjmr89 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean in the UK chances are you won't get prison for wrecking a car. My mate had his burned down and the guy got a slap on the wrist. Not saying what she did was right just saying that in the UK you don't get custodial for a lot.

[+]MrStone1 -52 points-51 points-50 points 4 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

This guy is a fucking creep, Stay away from banging teenage virgins when you've got yourself a missus, a couple of kids and a career to think of.

[–]ManofGod1000 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

So, a 19 year old woman is off limits? I call bullshit. However, the place he worked for is responsible for the rules of his employment. Please do not place the bullshit stuff society tries to place on others because, as long as the women is of legal consent age, it is not relevant. (Woman, not child.)

[–]Jesus_marley 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

She was an adult. He was not in a position of authority over her. What he does on his time is his business. Losing his job for that is wrong.

[–]ManofGod1000 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

As long as she was not a student, yep.

[+]EnvironmentalWar4627 -17 points-16 points-15 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

'Creep' is not a jailable offense. 19 year olds are not off limits, but if you cheat on your wife whom you have 2 kids with, with a girl you met when she was 17. Yeah, I don't think Creep is an unfair analysis. Do you?

[–]ManofGod1000 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Nothing in the article indicated he was married, at all. However, it does indicate that he has 2 kids and something about a possible girlfriend, although that was not entirely clear. For all we know, she went to his ex wife and said something.

[+]EnvironmentalWar4627 -18 points-17 points-16 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I guess. Seems weird to go so far out of your way to defend this guy.

[–]ManofGod1000 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I would indicate that it would appear more peculiar that you may be giving the woman a free pass.

[–]EnvironmentalWar4627 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

She's an obvious stalking psychopath. Hardly a free pass. He just sucks too.

[–]Admiralthrawnbar 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I get we're a men's rights sub, and the girl is obviously psyco here, but the guy isn't exactly a paragon of virtue. I don't think this is the hill we wanna die on. He was fired violating employee conduct policy, he got a restraining order on her for being insane, this outcome seems completely reasonable for all parties.

[–]No-Tough-215 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Please go read the article because all your comments are about 57% right and that 43% wrong is really screwing you.

[+]MrStone1 -19 points-18 points-17 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

No they're not off limits, But don't expect any level of maturity from them.

By all means, If you have a family, children and a career and 20+ years on a teenager you are more than entitled to try your luck, I'm sure it'll be fine

[–]Arael666 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

We don't expect maturity. But we, and society, expect her not to be a criminal. She's a stalker and a vandal and thank god he god a restraining order or she might've hurt him.

Yeah, he's not entirely without fault but that's no excuse for her to commit CRIMES.

Stop blaming the victim.

[+]MrStone1 -10 points-9 points-8 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

But "we" and "society"?

I expect teenagers to behave like teenagers, And in the current state of moral decay the west seems to be in, I expect the treatment that I give them to be reciprocated, Idiots like this banging students in his college then acting all innocent and put upon on when she flips her shit are just as culpable for the decline as those who are growing up in it are for perpetuating it.

If you have a family and are in a position of authority over someone keep ya dick out of them, He wouldn't have been in this position if he'd be professional

[–]Arael666 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree he shouldn't cry for being fired. He fucked a student and he knew the rules though luck.

But it's stops there. It doesn't matter that she's 19, it doesn't matter that you think that "the current stage of moral decay" equal teenagers commiting crimes.

It is not acceptable for people, no matter what age, to commit CRIMES, period. And it certainly isn't the victims fault.

[+]MrStone1 -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Men should be smarter, He should've known.

If he was your friend and this information was coming out, What mistakes would you be pointing out to him?

Teenagers girls are fucking stupid, Don't fuck em

[–]fuckredditors123 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So because she's a "fucking stupid teenager girl" she shouldn't be punished normally by the law like other people? it's the guy's fault that she committed all those crimes and she should just get away with it?

[–]xoxbabygirl 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"Men should be smarter" By that logic, women should be less evil. See how dumb it sounds to generalize? Stop victim blaming.

[–]ManofGod1000 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

19 years old is not a teenager, it is a woman.

[–]Admiralthrawnbar 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Teenager ranges from thirteen to nineteen, teenager =/= child

[+]ManofGod1000 -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Nope, you are not correct, at all. 18 and older, at least in the USA, is considered an adult and a woman. A teenager is usually considered a child, usually 17 and younger.

[–]Admiralthrawnbar 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Oxford dictionary definition:

teen·ag·er

/ˈtēnˌājər/

noun

a person aged between 13 and 19 years.

[–]ManofGod1000 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Go ahead and as an adult man, tell folks you are sleeping with a teenager. Let us know the results?

[–]Starlegion_324 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Your right about that, but wouldn’t you say what she did was even worse?

[+]MrStone1 -11 points-10 points-9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah she's a twat, It's a case of play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

She's obviously a psycho but he's in a position of authority and he has a family, And he pursued her as much as she pursued him.

[–]xsplizzle 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

she literally approached him randomly in a pub and said she wanted to fuck him.

[–]MrStone1 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, And then he randomly went to a hotel with her and fucked her without a condom at her insistence, She was obviously mental and he was being a creep

[–]__pebble____ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And she’s not a creep for stalking him?

[–]No-Tough-215 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah cause that woman has 0 reason to lie at all and doesn't seem like the person who would li- oh wait she literally lied about being pregnant with his child.

[–]MrStone1 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I also don't buy that she's a virgin, something about the leggins and trainers?

So you know she is a liar and we know he is a liar, which one of them is the shittiest one I wonder?, The idiot teenage psycho or the 42 year old with a missus and kids

[–]EnvironmentalWar4627 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. The downvotes for stating the obvious seems pretty weird. Obviously this dude is a creep.

[–]TyppaHaus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

n**ce

wtf is that ?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The UK is one of the most disgusting misandrist feminist-controlled hellholes on Earth. Together with the US, India and Spain.

[–]Maximum_Sand4932 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry, wtf, she did all that property damage to a college worker, YET SHE STILL WASN'T FUCKING PRISONED, WTF IS WRONG WITH THE LAWS OF "JUSTICE"

[–]Born_Bother_7179 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She sounds like s legit psycho

[+]punkeddiemurphy -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The man is a creeper. A married man of 42 with a 19 years old.

[–]xoxbabygirl 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And a STALKER isn't creepy? Nah bro, she doesn't get the pussy pass this time.

[–]Blaze0205 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Poor Britain

[–]0zexe -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

poor car

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