Sure, it’s fun to hypothesise and hit ideas around but like anything, we overcomplicate dating. I constantly hear my friends (male and female) complain about “what’s out there” without addressing the clincher: they are attracting different equivalents of themselves.

Example of friend 1: she’s highly intelligent, well educated, beautiful and has a solid career. But she also wants to meet her husband like yesterday and says she isn’t picky but has more unrealistic standards than a safety test.

She attracts love bombers, guys that want her for her career because they’re insecure in that area themselves and men that only want to hook up.

Example of friend 2: he’s well educated, good career, dresses well and holds an amazing conversation. He isn’t a model, but his energy is really attractive. But he’s laser-focused on looks, he wants a “total 10/10 babe”. He tries to date amazing women that are 8/10 with awesome personalities but he gets the ick OR she leaves because his energy feels unsafe. With 10/10 “babes” he falls for the idea and mostly, they lose interest or he finds fault in them as mostly, they can’t match his intellectual curiosity in a stimulating conversation.

He attracts literally so many women. Both women suitable for LTR and casual fun. But when an amazing woman comes along, she doesn’t hang around because of the aforementioned.

The issue is: you’ve got to clean your own house before you invite guests in. Do the work in your own mind, figure out your patterns and why you act the way you do or treat people the way you do. Then you’ll become a better “truer” version of yourself and will attract quality potential partners.

Tip: work through what you want in a partner. Then take a look at yourself and ask “if I met them now, would they give me a shot?”. If no, then you’ve got inner work to do.