When did you realize you were over your divorce and/or ex?

xjeeperx · 2022-02-27T17:59:04+00:00

I don’t think it will take long with how she’s acting.

electricsheep2013 · 2022-02-27T18:19:32+00:00

When I went weeks without giving a thought about my ex-wife.

Now, more specifically, when I found out she was dating someone and I was happy about it. Like “oh, that’s why she’s being so nice and she is not bugging me about every single thing”.

buyinlowsellouthigh · 2022-02-27T21:32:32+00:00

I was plowing my girlfriend.

azwildcat74 · 2022-02-27T19:13:24+00:00

I knew I was over it when she “light switch effect”ed me and called me an abusive narcissist etc. I knew right then that the woman I had married was 100% gone and couldn’t feel any love for her anymore even if i had wanted to.

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-02-27T19:28:50+00:00

I won’t ever be over her. But I will definitely find happiness and think about her less over time.

SilverknightFL · 2022-02-27T18:00:26+00:00

For me, it's dependent on the circumstances. First time, took a long time as it wasn't my choice and she cheated. Lots of hatred. No kids. Second time, she's already in her own place. She left me but it was more mutual. We grew apart and had both been thinking about divorce for years. One adult daughter from her first marriage, but a 4 year old granddaughter. STB2ndXW and I get along, and lives 20 minutes away. Our divorce is complex based on our finances, and it's important that our granddaughter feels good as when our daughter works weekends, we swap taking care of her. And it works. Plus I'm much older the second time around. But in all my relationships, it's always easier for the one who ends it.

JD-Anderson · 2022-02-27T18:21:35+00:00

About 2.5 years. After all that time in depression and sadness over what was lost and taking stock of my new life, I realized one afternoon I was over it all. Like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Duchesst · 2022-02-27T22:44:24+00:00

This friday.

She told me 3 months ago that she wanted a divorce, was not in love with me anymore etc. For those 3 months i did the pick me dance and threw away my dignity. Hell i even offered her a chance on Wednesday when we where at mediation but she would have non off it even after she learned that child support will be pretty meager.
Friday we went to the realtor to put our house on the market. When it was time to sign i looked at her to see if she showed any sign off hesitation, by the time my eyes found her face all 3 signatures she had to make where done. In that moment i knew she signed our life away.
I feel liberated.

rsmiley77 · 2022-02-28T01:46:20+00:00

When I walked in on her and her new girlfriend naked and playing house in my bedroom. I felt sad for them. Wished them the best even though I knew it was going to be a short lived relationship. I realized her girlfriend was the living representation of the ‘virgin chaser’ guy on tv except looking for new potential lesbians…. Never looked back. Ex is alone and bitter now. Even though she was a crappy wife I never would have left and would have remained loyal. She screwed that up.

pilotbrown16 · 2022-02-27T21:49:59+00:00

After we fooled around and she said she felt like she was cheating on the other guy.

So yeah....

DeJohn123 · 2022-02-27T23:52:08+00:00

Still not there yet… 11 months into separation and pending divorce. I’ve done okay objectively, but each milestone (me getting a house, her getting her own house etc. ) still stings. But it’s getting better

thefudmaster · 2022-02-28T00:14:52+00:00

Immediately when I discovered her affair.

monster_dutson · 2022-02-27T21:49:55+00:00

I am hoping when she's all moved out and I can release all my resentment.

Alucent · 2022-02-28T03:19:29+00:00

About 100 days before the papers were signed. She made it easy when she tried to have my put in jail.

canival9885 · 2022-02-28T12:36:25+00:00

I was married to my ex for 16 years (together for 18) so I’m still not over my ex, but when I moved out, there was a certain liberation that came over me. Not having to worry about being aggravated and stressed walking into the same house she’s in. We have children together so I can’t completely ignore her. Now she wants to reminisce about what went wrong and what could have been better but I seem to want to talk less and less about the past now that I’m away from her. I believe time and distance will help improve your feelings as I’m going through the same.

Kingcyprus1 · 2022-02-28T15:06:12+00:00

Its different for everyone, like if you never really loved the woman it shouldn’t take long, if you loved her it can take a couple of years

nlm1974 · 2022-02-27T19:10:19+00:00

It took seven years, but I noticed her drifting away. I tried and tried to get her to love again, but it wasn't to be. She went down a self destructive spiral. She wouldn't talk to me, and made irrational decisions that greatly effected both of us. When she quit her minimum wage job that was barely allowing us to make it, I left her.

matthewcoy · 2022-02-27T23:30:31+00:00

We didn't have children so she tried to get me to agree to alimony but getting custody of my German shepherd which the judge threw out was nice she didn't get alimony because she made more money than me at the timewhich makes sense now that im red pill aware

AirSailer · 2022-02-28T02:03:55+00:00

For me there are a couple of points that stood out, such as when I decided I didn't want to be married to her, when I knew I didn't love her anymore, when I knew I made the right decision, etc. However for me, after the divorce, I knew I was past the trauma of the divorce when the 1st anniversary of the divorce being finalized passed without me realizing it. A month after the date she said something about it to me during a transfer and I was like "ha, I don't even notice, I don't think about it anymore". That was a good day.

Future-Platform8225 · 2022-02-28T02:16:11+00:00

My circumstances aren't the usual as I was the initiator of divorce and my best guess way further along the grief stages by that point. A few months in she let me know she banged some dude... I honestly didn't care, felt like any other stranger woman telling me she got pumped and dumped. I was weary that it would hurt me but it just didn't. Too me it was a big hurdle I crossed. Still not final yet but to be honest hoping she finds an eff buddy in hopes it takes the crazy attention away from me. But having kids even most of the time still makes me nervous about the caliber of man she could pull.

Apprehensive_Walk_48 · 2022-02-27T18:00:04+00:00

You know...you never truly get over it. You spend the rest of your life mourning that loss.

Incendiary_mind742 · 2022-02-28T04:53:34+00:00

Marriage isn’t natural, it’s economical for corporations.

hombredelgato · 2022-02-28T17:49:44+00:00

Work in progress. I'm over her but not over the divorce yet. The circumstances of the situation that drove my decision weighs heavily on my mind, but I treat it like a constant urgency to grow from the experience.

derelictherds · 2022-03-01T22:51:29+00:00

IMO this depends on the quality of the marriage, events that led to divorce, and how the divorce itself played out.

I had a good marriage and the ex was my best friend for almost two decades. She cheated, ended the marriage, attempted to squeeze me during the divorce, and ultimately abandoned the kids.

It has taken a lot of time to "get over" all that (not necessarily her). Just be patient and focus on your healing.

Cranberry_Afraid · 2022-03-02T05:23:28+00:00

When she banged the lyft driver on my birthday...I paid for the ride...

Title	When did you realize you were over your divorce and/or ex?
Author	Big_Apple-3A_M
Upvotes	13
Comments	62
Date	February 27, 2022 5:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/t2tcrl/when_did_you_realize_you_were_over_your_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-did-you-realize-you-were-over-your-divorce.1105011 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105011

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