are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions??

Gigamon2014 · 2022-06-25T12:31:30+00:00

Physical attraction is required for chemistry. Otherwise it's just flirting or behavioural compatability. Also there is the halo effect which makes desirable men seem more virtuous than they actually are.

A lot of people on this sub need to stop downplaying male physical appeal. It's MASSIVE. It's just that a lot of guys don't care to better their attractiveness or feel things like height and genetics hold them back. If a woman is telling you looks aren't that important then its likely she either never experienced an attractive dude or doesn't have what it takes to keep one. "Chemistry" is often just a coping mechanism for those who can't attract what they truly physically desire.

NockerJoe · 2022-06-25T08:01:36+00:00

I'm a generally witty guy. Quick with a joke, been to my fair share of parties. I can say authoritativley that shit usually doesn't work in the sense it implies. You can maybe get a girl to let her guard down, provided you were already her type and she was already interested and already in the mood. You can't turn a no into a yes. You can't even turn a maybe into a yes 90% of the time. At best you can turn a yes into a hell yes.

Building a sense of charisma can be important and all but anyone who says you can just be funny and nice and have mutual interests has never actually been in the trenches trying and failing to make that work.

In a world where a majority of people are overweight to obese and a majority of relationships are beginning to start online or in a bar/club the number of opportunities you even have to establish that kind of rapport will be sharply limited and the minimum threshold is going to be harder to reach.

In my experience the dudes most confident with women who made things work the best aren't funny or charismatic. They're white dudes with bland personalities who get by 100% on looks and there's a really obvious inverse relation to looks and actual generalized charisma. Attractive people are often really really uncharismatic because they literally never had to be.

I work in the film industry right now and I would say thats actually the biggest individual factor that separates a failed actor from someone who consistently gets roles and is on movies and tv. Attractive people are a dime a dozen but they can very easily turn bland or entitled or go crazy due to the sheer level of privelage they have. This is also why most male youtubers and influencers who make it big are probably on the shorter side of average and/or have some other serious physical deficiency they've had to work through at some point, and why a lot of male actors are in the same boat.

AelfredRex · 2022-06-25T12:26:41+00:00

The ultimate goal is to live with each other, so personalities being compatible enough to meet that goal is key. So it's not about the shell, but the ghost within.

johnnyferrera · 2022-06-25T11:39:22+00:00

Chemistry is just attraction in another word. Like comparing verbal Intelligence to the g-factor. It's the same thing.

techr0nin · 2022-06-25T08:01:59+00:00

Physical attraction is the great filter and of tier 1 importance, and generally speaking involve things like facial aesthetics, height, physical frame.

Chemistry is more about eliciting emotional responses from the woman, which in Redpill would be classified under “Game” — getting her to emotionally respond to you, whether by being funny or seductive or mysterious, or even by being frustrating or mildly infuriating etc. IMO this is of tier 2 importance, along with things like muscles/money/status, and should be distinguished from personality.

Personality matters for long term relationships, along with things like value, integrity, and morals. For the purpose of short term relationships and hooking up, it matters very little.

Marzipan-Happy · 2022-06-25T07:48:22+00:00

I don't know For both men and women, I wasn't physically attracted to them, but their ability to make me laugh is what did it for me. I see people that I'm like "oh they are cute..." but I don't approach them over that, because the whole person matters more to me. .

itm4l2000 · 2022-06-25T11:54:00+00:00

That whole chemistry thing is so fleeting. The chemistry or interaction is like crack-cocoaine to women.

"Chemistry" is the vibe a man gives off that he can authentically crush the world and everything before it, so he is worthy to fertilse her ovaries.

I'm not referring to physical strength but that demeanour of being to handle shit any place anytime. Women are good at sensing if it's fake or authentic.

Blueexpression · 2022-06-25T07:32:52+00:00

Once you get past the looks stage it is about respect. Does she look up to you? Can you do things that she cant do?

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-06-25T16:27:10+00:00

Chemistry and objective physical attraction don't correlate all the time. I have met plenty of objectively attractive men that I did not feel chemistry with... but lots of average looking men (at least on a rating from other people) that I did feel a lot of chemistry with. We all have different preferences too visually.

RearwindowPinecone · 2022-06-25T07:35:39+00:00

physical attraction is the main factor,if you are only on the threshold of physical attraction,then you need a lot more in others:money,status,social skills...etc,but if you are very physically attractive,you need nothing except your existence

the chemistry is the product of physical attraction,the more physically attractive you are,the more chemistry you can bring

edit:but there are always extent exceptions:if a man is very physically attractive,but he is very stupid or his personality is very bad,ofc his physical attraction can not compensate that

buffsterfan · 2022-06-25T09:08:56+00:00

Chemistry is definitely crucial. That’s the spark that keeps a relationship (and sex life) exciting! It’s also just a great indicator that you guys have compatible personalities. It doesn’t always work out purely based on chemistry, but it’s an essential component, way more important than physical attraction to me (past a certain baseline, i still need to find them somewhat sexually attractive)

hemaristhysbe · 2022-06-25T10:51:04+00:00

Men here definitely downplay the importance of chemistry and most aren’t able to describe it. They seem to feel that merely finding a woman physically attractive is chemistry. They don’t seem to require mutual attraction or rapport; they don’t care about common interests and common experiences. Men here mention unrequited love and falling for disinterested friends so often it appears they don’t care if their feelings are reciprocal at all.

The biggest tell is how often men claim that they can learn how to please a woman who is disinterested in bed. “If women settle and have reasonable standards; a good man can learn how to give her orgasms.” That won’t work. If a man isn’t appealing to her, the idea of his tongue in her mouth and his hands on her naked body is repulsive.

bragghy · 2022-06-25T08:04:08+00:00

sarkington · 2022-06-25T12:41:53+00:00

Chemistry is marked and obvious mutual physical and emotional attraction

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-06-25T13:19:47+00:00

sorry to be bothering

First great question. It’s not a bother. It’s exactly what PPD is all about.

under estimating the factor of chemistry

No. As you’ve stated;

BASIC physical attraction

Comes first. Then those non physical aspects are scrutinised. Chemistry. Personality. Charisma. Are all secondary. To your first impression.

Godspeed and good luck!

ruboyuri · 2022-06-25T14:27:02+00:00

That’s what mutual attraction is, lol

SuspiciousArdvark · 2022-06-25T11:10:23+00:00

Kinda.

Chemistry is actually overrated, so is being funny.

Confidence is underrated and misunderstood.

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freespirit1963TJ · 2022-06-25T13:46:45+00:00

I agree with the basic premise of this post. There is an issue with a faction of people, they get with someone new, the person is attractive, everyone is on their best behavior (for the most part), the physical part of the relationship is good, their understanding of the relationship isn't real. I believe that true chemistry doesn't come in until after the initial, new relationship, energy has worn off.

Pilling_it · 2022-06-25T16:59:34+00:00

so im knowing you are needing to be having SOME physical attraction right but im thinking if person is being at a CERTAIN level of attractiveness of physical attraction THEN its being all about chemistry and personality and how you is mixing with there personality??

Chemistry is going along well personality wise and overall vibing, but that is enabled by finding the other attractive. If you don't feel that, for the same person, you literally won't care as much. Basically define if you give a person 5 seconds or 5 minutes to know your personality if you will.

The value of being physically attractive as a man is greatly downplayed. A prominent author likes to talk about "genuine desire" in relationships and you won't get that if you're not physically arousing. Whatever relationship you build with your money in the absence of attraction won't be a relationship worth having. Every day there are guys with money who are getting finessed. It's by no means uncommon for a girl to set conditions for intimacy with one class of man, and throw those conditions out the window for another class of man. This is even more pronounced now that women can have incomes that match or even exceed men.

If you're a no, you're a no. It's what people mean by not negociating attraction. It's obviously what matters most to guys since it's the hardest step, but having long term relationship game is another ballpark that require a very different set of skill. But it's attraction, then personality. Not the other way around.

ok so im under standing physical attraction is being important but if we are thinking back on our lifes we are knowing that its most you are needing some BASIC physical attraction and THEN its being about the non physical things right??

It's like money : it only matters when you don't have it. And once that part is cleared, yes it's about something else.

are they being witty and funny and are you having same interest and are your personality mixing well and having good chemistry together??..so its not being about looks once you are getting to the basic level of looks?? just wondering and sorry to be bothering..

People tend to focus mostly on attraction since it's the hardest step. But yeah, the more attractive you are, the less competent socially you need to be.

IThinkYouNeedToThink · 2022-06-25T20:36:20+00:00

What people have to understand is that physical attraction and your actual physique are not tied at the hip.

Almost any guy will generally look and feel good when he eats well, exercises, gets good sleep etc, and a lot of guys give up before they even try, because in their mind, it might “all be for nothing, since she’ll pick the 6ft+ guy anyway”.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-06-25T21:18:58+00:00

Chemistry is attraction. That’s all it means.

I’ve had girls interested in me that I wasn’t attracted to and there was no chemistry. I assume if a girl isn’t interested in me it’s because I’m not attractive to her

801735 · 2022-06-26T06:45:42+00:00

are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions??

Wait wait wait. How old is she? If she's old (23+ yo is beyond the wall hard these days), chemistry cannot even do anything anymore, despite doing it's best. It's the in-the-water-supply-dilluted-abortion-pills doing a trillion numbers on her.

The guys, otoh, the ones who haven't had their 1/12th of pound of skin chopped off, they're not interested for the most part, or possibly "doing" (it's the chicks desperately riding, ime) ok whatever.

Woko127 · 2022-06-26T10:39:21+00:00

Look, a lot of women have chemistry with me in their minds but I'm telling the same damn story for the 1000th time. So in her mind it's chemistry but in my mind it's all a part of my dating process. So I don't believe in chemistry, I believe these women are attracted to me and more reciprocative to my 'game' because of that. If I was less attractive, 'chemistry' would happen far less.

are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions??

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Title	are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions??
Author	LinguisticsTurtle
Upvotes	30
Comments	111
Date	June 25, 2022 7:30 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vk9nr5/are_people_under_estimating_the_factor_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-people-under-estimating-the-factor-of.1120084 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120084