What is a feminine woman?

Slipthe · 2022-06-21T13:58:41+00:00

Traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding have been cited as stereotypically feminine.

I think that all of those traits can still exist in egalitarian relationships as well. Most people aren't 100% feminine traits or 100% masculine traits.

Heartbreak and n-count could diminish femininity if all of their tenderness and kindness were due to naivety and not their actual disposition. But there are also negative displays of femininity. Submissiveness, passivity, anxiousness, dependence, fearfulness, or lighting oneself on fire to keep others warm.

I think when you really examine women, you'll find that what you don't like about a particular women isn't precisely her lack of femininity. It's probably some varying degree of selfishness that you don't like, which isn't a masculine trait.

EulenWatcher · 2022-06-21T14:10:01+00:00

There are different flavors of femininity:

Femininity as descriptive term of what kind of traits/behavior are common in women. As a descriptive term it includes all women whether they're SAHMS or career-climbers. Whether you're a butch lesbian or a femme-fatale, you're still feminine at least to some degree.
Femininity as a prescriptive term. It's tied hard to traditional gender roles and it prescribes women to behave in certain way in order to be feminine. There are different flavors to it as well depending on the culture/time we're talking about, but I guess the most common traits are submissiveness, beauty, agreeableness, nurturing nature etc.

All in all, femininity is greatly about one's appearance and what you give to other people. Traditional femininity as being highly agreeable, meek and submissive disadvantages women imv, so a lot of women choose not to follow it. It's also rather one-dimension, as in reality even for being a good mother which is the key part of traditional femininity, you have to be strong, wise, often assertive and know what you want.

Imv both femininity and masculinity have beneficial traits and ideally a person has a balanced personality that relies on both these concepts.

The most feminine woman I know has a bunch of masculine traits as well and she has a really well-paying job while also having 2 kids. Her husband adores her, most people who meet her really like her. She's very upbeat and energetic, she really does make the world a better place. She's kind, nurturing and sweet. She's also a meticulous planner, "leads" her family, i.e. she usually makes long-term plans, and she's assertive and certainly knows what she wants. Not a back seater at all.

vuvvuvvu · 2022-06-21T16:12:04+00:00

Growing up in Asia, traditional femininity is viewed as being submissive, taking care of the house, taking care of your husband/children, being skinny/dainty, attractive, long healthy shiny hair, healthy skin, and exuding calm confident yet humble ‘feminine’ energy.

It’s more or less the same here in the west. I think women in Japan & Korea definitely present more traditionally feminine than western women. This is changing moreso in Korea than Japan nowadays due to radical feminism but overall women in developed Asian countries seem more pressured to uphold traditional feminine roles and stereotypes.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-06-21T15:52:08+00:00

I seem traditionally feminine. I wear very feminine clothes, have exaggerated estrogen features, wear makeup, and do my hair. I enjoy cooking, sewing, gardening, and interior decorating.

But then I am completely relentless as a person. I can be combative. Strong willed. My mom gets angry and says I'm just like my father.

I still classify myself as feminine though.

06534956 · 2022-06-21T14:21:04+00:00

I consider myself to be a fully self-actualized and very feminine woman. I’m in a marriage with a self-actualized and very masculine man.

We both have our competencies and things that we are better at, and take the lead when we need to. That’s where the egalitarian part of society comes in.

He’s a full provider, he pays for everything. It’s important for him to do that, and to feel accomplished, and like everything is under control.

My feminine side comes in by making things just a little bit better, more beautiful, feel better, more comfortable, more exciting, more fun. Just more.

I receive his money and turn it into experiences, much like I take ingredients and turn it into a meal, or receive sperm and make it into a baby. A house into a home.

How it actually plays out in every day life is hard for some people to understand, because they have all sorts of ideas about what submission looks like in a relationship.

It’s not like he makes all the decisions or has the final word, and I just go with whatever he says. He values my opinion and 97% of the time, he goes with what I want. He knows that I am a grown woman and can think through things logically and rationally, and will lead me to what I desire.

He’s a simple guy, so he really doesn’t care about most decisions and will leave them to me. If I get stuck on something, and can’t make a decision, I can go to him and he will make that decision for me.

Sandshrew922 · 2022-06-21T14:17:42+00:00

It's never been a huge focus for me tbh, but I think it generally is linked to being trad and submissive. Wanting to be in the passenger seat as a wife and mother and all that. Being caring and sensitive, probably appeal to traditional gender roles and beauty standards as well. Career climbers are seen as domineering and "masculine". N count I think might be a different issue regarding promiscuity. Somebody else could probably answer better for me though, "being feminine" is a bit too vague a qualifier for my dating life.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-06-21T14:59:35+00:00

femininity today

The one trait I looked for before I remarried was Altruism. It’s the one commonality all the women in my life share. Giving your time, your energy and love are very maternal traits. One too I was blessed enough to have a mother cultivate in me.

how does that work in an egalitarian society

Perfectly. As we’re both giving equally, of ourselves. Not so much materialistically; but genuinely. For example I like to buy my partner a coffee after my morning run. It’s a small thing, but it’s given genuinely. She’s the same. Often buys tickets when my teams make the finals. So we’ll often make weekend getaways out of it. Though it seems lopsided, both exchanges are just as meaningful. As we’re genuinely building memories together.

Godspeed and good luck!

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Hoopy223 · 2022-06-21T14:00:28+00:00

I always think of the actresses and movie stars from the golden age of cinema. Yes I know a lot of them were just as sleazy as the men back then lol.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2022-06-21T14:40:41+00:00

Feminine traits are those that inspire male romantic idealism and affection.

LarryLooxmax · 2022-06-22T00:10:12+00:00

I dislike when people give gushy, moral, feel good answers to this question. I think they are just giving a palatable answer, in hopes it will go over well, such that some vestige of feminity may yet be saved. I also dislike answers like "women are nurturing" or "women raise kids"... women are required to be nurturing as a result of gendered division of labor over the past 5 aeons, we too easily assume that's a truly innate quality.

I think to really describe femininity vs masculinity in a way free from bias, you have to constrain yourself to morally neutral terms. Because the evidence of my own eyes tells me women are no more virtuous than men.

I think women are more instinctive than men, especially in the social sphere. More in tune with emotions and vibes. More consensus based and less heirarchical. More concerned over what is socially "fair" and less concerned with glory/achievement. Less competitive. Less interested in agency generally, more likely to play the victim and seek succor/protection/provisioning from others. Women are more dependent on the group than men, who are more individualist. Women seek social activity for its own sake whereas men are usually focused on some goal (even if its a pretext).

Perhaps the primary difference is emotion vs reason. Women experience a greater range of emotions than men, and their emotions are even linked to their hormone cycles. Women can also experience more complex emotions than men like happy-crying. Women's emotions are less predictable and interpretable than mens.

So the maximally feminine woman would be emotional, dependent, passive aggressive, socially adroit/active, manipulative, unpredictable, and at least superficially, highly concerned with the welfare of the group. I also want to note that most of the hyper-successful men through history have similar traits, and I'd theorize this is because other men have no learned defense against it, since they (and most other men) are some combination of direct, honest and clueless. Men who can seduce and toy with other men politically, the way women can emotionally, are the top tier of humanity.

2022-06-21T15:15:19+00:00

I would say feminine women are self sacrificing, get meaning from what they do for others always putting their own needs last, they outwardly exhibit the pleasant traits associated with with idealized femininity. They are agreeable, pleasant, want to reproduce, defer to their partner, support their partner's hobbies, goals, dreams. They gain great identification from motherhood. They are willing to set aside their own priorities for others.

They physically manifest in way that easily identify as feminine, desire male approval, and tend to associate with other women who are similar. They favour harmony, submissiveness, cooperation, and tend to be conformist.

Teflon08191 · 2022-06-21T14:20:17+00:00

she is probably more likely to be competent at leading

If this were true we'd see a lot more female leaders and a lot less women complaining that the lack of female leaders is due to [insert external locus of control excuse here].

whitemonster_enjoyer · 2022-06-21T15:15:08+00:00

More specifically what is femininity today?

Traits associated with the female sex. Whether its association with the female sex is due to social attitudes(like the color pink) or biology(being more compliant).

vik_thewomaninblack · 2022-06-21T15:15:15+00:00

Kind, warm, understanding, nurturing, with class and grace, but also aware of her strengths and ability to use them when needed.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-06-21T15:19:41+00:00

More specifically what is femininity today? Are most men attracted to it or is it just a loud minority? Is it rare in the developed world?

Not going to try to describe it

Do career climbing, age, heartbreak and n count diminish femininity?

I don't think any of these necessarily make a woman less feminine, however I still wouldn't want a high n woman.

Can a woman be feminine but also self actualised? Especially if she doesn't want kids, what about after the kids have grown up?

Yes to all

If being feminine is about being comfortable with a man leading how does that work in an egalitarian society when she is probably more likely to be competent at leading and has more self belief?

It doesn't imo

2022-06-21T22:54:08+00:00

Woman here I’ve been feminine and sweet in the past but truthfully it’s never worked for me. The more I treat men like “just a friend” the more they like me. I no longer flirt, text first, or compliment men and I finally have someone who is willing to see me consistently why is that???

I’ve stopped treating men i date like we’re dating and it’s changed my life. It sucks because I would love to be loving and girly again but I just don’t have it in me anymore.

SwaySh0t · 2022-06-21T16:23:40+00:00

Traits like submissiveness, altruism, kindness, sweetness, and the self awareness to know that she needs/wants and values masculine presence in her life are some of my top examples of femininity in women.

Career woman and women who don’t want kids are not feminine. They were marketed to in their youth, and later indoctrinated in college, in short they were flat out lied to. The most unhappiest people in the world(according to psychology today) are high earning, career driven, unmarried, childless women in their early 40’s. That career won’t hold you at night or be with you when you take your last breath and a new Gucci hand bag can’t replace a child or a fulfilling child raising experience. High N-count women are using the male metric of sexual strategy and success so by default that is un-feminine. heart break can make women callous and un-feminine ie alpha widows.

True femininity is rare in the developed world, similar in way that feminism(at least the way we identify it or perceive it) can only really work in 1st world countries(oh theee oppression!). Go to Columbia or even Baltic countries like Croatia, Serbia, Montenegro if you truly want to experience feminine women.

In 1st world country with multiples waves of feminism I would say a women who values men and values marriage and children will be seen as more feminine than a women who does not. It takes a certain level of self awareness to understand that a men and women need each other and everyone has a different role to fulfill to make and maintain a loving wholesome relationship.

2022-06-21T14:48:00+00:00

Career climbing, age, heart breaks/resentment & trauma from past men they were in love with & fully submitted to otherwise known as "alpha widow" in TRP's terminology, many other variables you can imagine can potentially permanently decrease a women's femininity but not always. Correlation does not equal causation.

Every single straight man is biologically attracted to this. HOWEVER, nurture, culture, and how a man was brought up, influenced by in this world can alter & change this ... the base biological desire is still always their somewhere in their subconscious.

But if a man was raised by a very weak feminine father that let a domineering mother be in charge of everything & lead the family of course the sons won't even know what a healthy natural dynamic looks like. This is also as bad as a father who might have been in charge but he was abusive or neglectful or hurt the mother ... like Will Smith's dad, this dynamic is 1 of the dynamics that actually led to the modern America we have today as well as capitalist exploiting people's desire for this equality & feminism so they could profit fully from both genders. That family dynamic will lead to men wanting to treat women like princesses so overcompensate when they did nothing to deserve it... combined with the feminism ideology, that all girls are super stars & can do no wrong this is very dangerous tied with men's protective nature of women. It means they can't be criticized & if you reject women for any real important factors to the health of your future kids & health of your family, your quality of life, your well being like fertility YOU are an evil sexist. Its not like this in all parts of the world, some that Americans even deem less intelligent for practicing normal gender norms, they won't shame you at all for preferring a 21 yo fit healthy women with no career compared to a 28 year old American women that only cares about her independence, her having all her own stuff & will likely divorce you in 20 years lol like Bill Gates & Jeff Bezos, even if you do have the money to provide for her & your entire family x100000 over other men, you can still have it happen with women so deep into an anti-men philosophy.

In my eyes there's zero point of getting married or ever having kids if the women is not ride or die - assuming I never cheat on her or seriously abuse her in some way. In my eyes divorce = failure and the death of the family unit, either I stopped being masculine and failed my family... or the women stopped being feminine because of submitting to whatever society told her & failed to support me.

This is a great read on why it matters so much ...

https://www.russellmoore.com/2011/12/05/women-stop-submitting-to-men/

Women do not have as deep romantic love the way men do... however OP never forget this, regardless whatever bull**** you read on the internet or messaging you get from our fem centric society... if a women is truly "in love" with a man she will desire to fully submit to him.

However its possible women can submit to the wrong men... and men aren't the only things women can submit themselves to, they can very well submit themselves to toxic things for them & this can take away the possibility they even submit themselves to a man at all.

The idea in the past was that since women are just innately worst decision makers & can't pick what man would be best for them in the future, women haven't free love & complete sexual agency wasn't allowed, it sounds very messed up & sexist and that's because it is, people in the past, in most human civilizations did not believe men & women were the exact same, equal in every single way you can be equal... this is the important distinction and what many fail to understand even today. Yes men & women should be treated equally & respectfully, inequality is bad, but in every single way? That's just heading to an even worse extreme.

Many people fail to understand this, but countless philosophers, leaders of society, and even scientist in the past all agreed universally... sure they might have all been men but people have to stop thinking men have some vindictive hidden agenda against women, this is all about benefitting healthier families & future people. This is why a women being a virgin was the standard, it was a sign of full respect to other families & knowledge that their daughter hasn't submitted to anyone else yet. The blind & ignorant women of today will all tell you its because of men's entitlement or ego or wanting to take it themselves or wanting to not women enjoy themselves before marriage or whatever. This is very egotistical solipsism thinking itself, thinking men deeply care about things that vain & manginess in the grand scheme of things to structure a literal society a certain way. Its individualistic thinking instead of what's best for everyone together.

The best things in life require some sacrifices sure, and many men will abuse the system or ruin it for all the others so we had to dismantle it.

A feminine women is a women that has the ability to submit to a man, the problem the original red pill theorist seem to have with modern society looking at their blog post & statements anyway https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/why-game-is-a-threat-to-our-values/ ... seem to be this idea that since so many modern American women are giving their all to countless men & giving a worst deal to their husbands or getting with them in a very damaged, lesser state of femininity, or no femininity the partnership between man & women is severely declining. Combine this with the fact older women no longer teach younger family members how to be feminine, how to behave & treat men or care about it that much and see it as a very valuable important thing to be super proud of. This means truly feminine women are an endangered species, at least in many parts of America.

For your final question, is it possible for a women to be self actualized & feminine? Yes, this is the easiest state of being for her to be feminine & super submissive. She knows herself & understands herself deeply, she knows everything she is capable of doing since she's already written all those books or became a mega star, and yet she still chooses to submit to a man.

This makes it all the more pleasurable & rewarding. Is Zendaya not going to submit to Tom Holland if they end up married just because she's taller than him & has quite a few bigger accomplishments? I don't think so. Intelligent women in the modern day understand that being humble, having virtue, submitting to a man even though he isn't vastly superior to you in every way is the only way.

Other wise if a women just keeps making millions of dollars, gaining more & more status in her career or whatever hobby she's doing... climbs to the top. She will have literally no suitors she will be happy with and will just keep getting older, losing her biological value in fertility.

There's also a lot of men on this planet that like younger women for things like innocence, seeing them as more graceful or thinking they will be more peaceful & less stubborn than older women but that's another debate. Life experiences & upbringing shape people's demeanor in adulthood more than anything.

2022-06-21T14:06:00+00:00

Lol who cares?

orange_glasse · 2022-06-21T21:08:09+00:00

It's about people having the ability to CHOOSE to be in a lead/follow relationship. Some women are really feminine, some are not

dbz19_kai · 2022-06-22T14:56:34+00:00

Cuteness

Title	What is a feminine woman?
Author	chancetolive
Upvotes	21
Comments	116
Date	June 21, 2022 1:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vhdu4a/what_is_a_feminine_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-a-feminine-woman.1120588 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120588

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