The sense of entitlement is insane - it's like she thinks we're still married!

rumble_salt · 2022-11-10T23:45:53+00:00

Mine went on like that for a long time. She even convinced my Gf that we were getting back together and then my GF left me and blocked my phone.

I guess I should thank her, probably dodged a bullet with that one too.

76ersPhan11 · 2022-11-11T01:15:49+00:00

It’s her way of sucking you back in. Meanwhile she’s opening her legs for anyone who gives her any attention. My ex is the same way her behavior is fucking disgusting. But somehow things are still always my fault. Narcissists gonna narcissist.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2022-11-10T23:13:03+00:00

Ignore ignore ignore and then ignore some more

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-11-10T23:44:06+00:00

If you have kids, you limit your discussions with her to the day-to-day caregiving of the children. If you have no kids, embrace Radio Silence. It's like those World War II posters: Loose Lips Sink Ships. You've got nothing to say to her.

Turn up your Don't Give A Fuck meter another notch.

Ok-Veterinarian-8075 · 2022-11-11T04:19:32+00:00

same here.

when we were married all I ever heard was:

you're lazy, you dont care about me, you dont love me, you're cheating, you never clean.

now that we're divorced all I ever hear is:

I want you back, life is hard without you, i can't pay my rent by myself, i love you, i'm surprised your apartment is so clean.

fuck off.

the reality is she never trusted me, and wished I was somebody else. the second I'm gone she realizes what she lost.

henrysmyagent · 2022-11-11T02:14:26+00:00

Women only see men as providers of money, time, resources, and labor.

In most women's minds a divorce only cuts off money and resources.

No, it isn't really a surprise she fully expects you to continue providing time and labor.

It is good that you refuse to give her free labor, but now you have to put your foot down to stop her from robbing you of your time.

Insist that all conversations are about the divorce and kids (if any) and hangup/ignore any other conversations.

LongWalksAtSunrise · 2022-11-10T22:25:51+00:00

Oh this is me 100%. She still wants me to help her with home repairs

playerknowmore · 2022-11-10T23:54:52+00:00

It's called "Buyers Remorse ". You said she has been dating; she's coming to the realization that the best she can do is a lateral move. She's not getting better just different. Wait to she is old enough to figure out that all that is left is broken men with baggage. Worse she threw away a perfectly good marriage because she built a narrative in her head that you will never do enough.

Add to all of this the fact that she went to far to turn back. Those "help me figure things out" texts are heat checks. If you offer to help her she'll think the the door is at least cracked. Don't go for this because first she's going try to get back by her terms. Then she'll kiss your ass because she knows she fucked up.

Women fail to understand the realization that when men have sex we conquer, but they submit. That means she belongs to him now.

captainchippsixx · 2022-11-11T01:14:07+00:00

I’m really good about ignoring texts and emails after a few years of the shit. Lol. Delete them. If she calls just say you were very busy.

traderjoesbeforehoes · 2022-11-10T23:17:04+00:00

I look forward to these questions post divorce completion. The answer is always going to be "why dont you ask [insert the married guy's name she was fucking who loves down the street]"

throwaway_9876789876 · 2022-11-10T21:02:57+00:00

I'd always been civil, sometimes helpful, up to a point. Then I'd tell her she really needs to figure that out for herself.

Gutted88 · 2022-11-11T02:34:23+00:00

Sorry man... and yea i feel ya l. It could be worse... My cheating turd sits her wide load on my couch internet messaging other dudes in a home I paid 90% or better on.. using high-speed internet that I pay for, powered by electricity I pay for.. etc.. I come home from work, eat if she mde enough for me, and enjoy the company of my children (and hear how she was on her phone all day) for a bit then I go out and call my gf and then its all better.. You get it? Forget her.. move on..

Current_Tonight4140 · 2022-11-11T04:52:01+00:00

I hope you do not have kids.

upvotersfortruth · 2022-11-11T10:00:01+00:00

Yeah, they can just switch it off and on like nothing ever happened and the relationship isn't a fucking dumpster fire that has devastated an entire family.

BeachGuy91 · 2022-11-11T12:13:07+00:00

Mine is an alienating narcissist and took it out on the kids. There is only one thing to do with a narcissist - silence

Future_Ad8467 · 2022-11-11T14:58:13+00:00

The other day, my ex texted me to ask that if in our entire relationship, has she ever once guilt tripped me. My answer was YES. She asked when, and I asked, including now? So I laid out all the current and some past situations. She then says I must have misunderstood. I explained that guilt trips are used to manipulate, which is a form of control and you did do that, often.

I asked why she was asking me , and she said that her and the AP (now married boyfriend), are having a difference of opinion on her guilt tripping him and she thought I could clear it up 😂 I told her that feelings aren't really debatable. You made me feel a certain way in our marriage and continue to. You can't just turn around and say, "you must have been mistaken, and you're wrong to feel that way." I told her that if she wants to succeed, she needs to not only acknowledge where she went wrong in our marriage, but take ownership and change the behavior, because you'll continue to fuck it up.

What's funny to me, is that this was always going to be the result of the affair. It's crazy how textbook her "unique" situation is.

I'm a year and three months post divorce.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2022-11-11T17:26:05+00:00

Mine was not to far from exactly that until I got a restraining order against her. She was pissed when she found out I was dating, called me a cheater and even harassed my girlfriend.

No-Independence-9705 · 2022-11-11T17:56:10+00:00

She’s in the process of filing right now. Has been an alcoholic for years and pretty much incapable of completing everyday life tasks on her own for a long time. I ended up finding love letters from another dude in her nightstand about a year ago. Turns out he’s some drug addict that she met at a bar one night. She’s also seen 2 other dudes to my knowledge. So we separated last March. Living in 2 different cities now about 2 hours away from each other.
She went on a Vegas trip a couple months ago and I get a text message asking for money because she couldn’t pay her rent. Then a couple weeks later she had texted me for more money because her BMW was in the body shop.
For a while, she’d call me every couple days asking for advice on how to handle menial tasks she now has to do for herself.
This is petty, but I found all the dudes she’d been talking to on Facebook, cropped their pictures and sent her a text of their photos that said next time you need help with something to call one of them. The calls stopped after that.
Look, I’m a good dude, but I can’t stand for that. Had to finally lay down some boundaries. Once I did, im the asshole.
It’s been a journey of self healing and realization of how being in a relationship like this has really changed me for the worse. I’m learning to find comfort in the quiet and peace now. I lived a life of walking on eggshells for so many years that I forgot what a healthy relationship and life was like. So I’ll stay single until im ready and healed.
It’s sad really. She really was an incredible person. So talented and very smart. She was a division 1 swimmer at one point with a full ride athletic scholarship. And she’s pissed her life away. Thankfully (if she can get sober and keep her job) she makes good money. I never had kids with her either so that’ll make the divorce a little cleaner. Still sucks though. Watching someone you love just slowly waste their life away.

No_Interview7580 · 2022-11-14T02:47:58+00:00

Yes... Mine is going thru daily ups and down. We have a kid so i guess it probably forces us to be nice to each other.

But I also get a strange feeling that she wants to share parenting time just cause she can get her free time for herself. If I try to give her all parenting time I am sure she will panic or ask for humongous child support so she can hire baby sitters for her freedom. And she will not give up entire parenting time to me because then I might ask her for child support...

Title	The sense of entitlement is insane - it's like she thinks we're still married!
Author	phalo
Upvotes	41
Comments	55
Date	November 10, 2022 8:58 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/yrrmuw/the_sense_of_entitlement_is_insane_its_like_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-sense-of-entitlement-is-insane-its-like-she.1139078 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139078

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