What gets you off?

HazyMemory7 · 2022-11-17T03:47:37+00:00

I will presume this is asked in good faith but will be watching this thread.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-11-17T03:43:16+00:00

It's mostly a mental thing. For me good sex starts outside the bedroom. Seduction and foreplay (both mental and physical) is reallllly important. My sexual fantasies don't start with body parts, but instead with a situation and a plot.

anon018274031 · 2022-11-17T11:55:14+00:00

80% mental- falling for someone, teasing leading up to it (a small touch here or there, a compliment, THE look). Feeling safe, feeling comfortable, feeling desired, feeling you won’t be judged.

20% physical - I love a man with a beard and some smiles literally melt me. Someone that smiles with their eyes. And it’s the way they look at you. Then lots of foreplay- hair touching, a massage usually makes sex feel amazing (probably something to do with being more relaxed).

ohdiddly · 2022-11-17T11:42:33+00:00

Clit stimulation. Penetration feels great but I can never actually cum from that alone.
So any position where my clit can get rubbed at the same time is the best!

Any kind of talk about cum is like hitting the nut button for me. If he says he's about to cum I nut instantly.

Bats_are_cuter · 2022-11-17T11:52:12+00:00

He needs to be eight foot tall, with minimum twelve fingers. My favourite position is reverse cowgirl on the stairs ☺ and for words I am an old fashioned girl, ideally they'd just recite their companies GDPR policy.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2022-11-17T15:07:21+00:00

nope, not taking the 'bate bait.

CimZim · 2022-11-17T12:06:54+00:00

Question for women: what gets you off?

If it's a man I don't know and care for, nothing. If it's my lover, almost anything lol.

Are they physical characteristics needed for a good sexual experience?

My sexual history is limited to 1 man, but from using various toys I know I can't handle anything longer than 6 inches for penetration, and any girth more than 3.5 is basically impossible. As for other body parts, I'm physically attracted to thicc men the most, lean men second, muscular men make me drier than the Sahara. My lover is nicely overweight, broad shoulders but soft and warm, very good for cuddling and fucking. Oh, and no facial hair, that's a big one. Hair on face = absolutely not.

Is it mainly a mental thing for you?

I mean, maybe? I'm demisexual so having a strong emotional connection is the only thing that turns me from being "completely asexual" to "asexual for every man EXCEPT this one". If you're asking if my sex drive is mentally based, no. I'm horny 24/7, even before I had a partner. Idk if it's a blood flow thing, or what, but I've always been low to moderate key turned on since around age 15/16. So now that I have a sex partner it is incredibly easy to get off, just on a purely physical level. And no, this isn't some lame "pickme" brag, it's really annoying and physically frustrating to be semi aroused all the time.

Edit: I saw the complaint in Automod about how some of us aren't being specific enough about what actually causes climax, so fine. Here ya go. I can always orgasm from fingering, oral, piv, and nipple play. No extra work needed, these things = guaranteed O. I can occasionally orgasm from anal although I have to have had at least 2 orgasms previously. I have also cum twice in my life from him giving me a long backscratching session, but that was in the beginning of us learning each other's bodies and I was very touch starved so that was probably the main factor.

What positions work the best for you?

Anything is good for orgasm, but I prefer either forward facing cowgirl or missionary, since the ridge of his glans rubs against my g-spot then. Also, I greatly enjoy tit play since I can easily orgasm from that too. Anal is the most difficult position, it's enjoyable but certainly not on the level of other types of sex.

What are the best things one can say to you?

Depends on what the mood is and what kind of game we're playing, if any. Like the language used during bdsm is different from the language when making love, which is in turn different from various role plays.

Also, it's probably important to note I'm the initiator 98% of the time.

northernlights190 · 2022-11-17T03:32:39+00:00

First, I have to be super aroused, which means I require lots of sexual chemistry and attraction to my partner and lots of foreplay. And comfort, that’s big. He needs to be someone I feel connected to enough to laugh with and just ride the many different waves of emotion that come with great sex.

I don’t orgasm through penetrative intercourse alone, regardless of position. My preference is for a partner to get me close during foreplay with manual and oral stimulation, though oral isn’t super necessary every time. During penetration, when I’m ready to cum I like to bring myself to orgasm while riding him. Major bonus points if he sucks my nipples during that, it can send me right over the edge. He doesn’t really need to say anything, though I generally like a vocal partner.

I should add that I don’t consider an orgasm to be necessary for a good sexual experience, maybe because my orgasms have never come easy. Some of the absolute best, most satisfying and borderline spiritual sex I’ve ever had in my life hasn’t involved orgasms — just a partner I was wildly in love with with amazing sexual chemistry, who we could just get absolutely lost in each other’s bodies and pleasure for hours.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-17T04:07:14+00:00

Lots of foreplay. Touching, playing with, or sucking the right places. Deep kissing. Kissing my neck. Running his hands through my hair. I like it a little rough but not violent or degrading - I just like the passion of it, like he’s so into me he can’t help himself kinda. I like going down on him, not so much when he goes down on me but I don’t mind that if he insists. I’m one of those lucky women that do cum from penetration too. And multiple orgasms too, if he’s very good.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-11-17T09:59:29+00:00

Since the question is what gets me off and not was makes me feel aroused (yes I saw the complains under auto mod), the answer is direct or indirect clit stimulation or if I'm very aroused I can orgasm from a vaginal orgasm but only in missionary while my legs are basically behind my head so my g spot is stimulated. Also my nipples have to be stimulated simultaneous. And no talking. I am focused on reaching an orgasm and won't respond anyway. If you ask me questions you will get me out of the moment and I might loose my orgasm.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-17T10:14:59+00:00

It's pretty much just physical for me. I'm mainly concentrating on the feeling so what someone says isn't really relevant to whether I orgasm. Stimulating my clit from the inside or outside will do it.

That__EST · 2022-11-17T14:57:06+00:00

Totally a mental thing. I have to think that you're crazy about me and we could rule the world together and that people would be happy to see us together.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-11-17T17:09:58+00:00

desire and passion

the opposite (passiveness, feeling as if the man is lukewarm) turns me off.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-11-17T09:01:45+00:00

Being in love.

AquaChip · 2022-11-17T12:12:45+00:00

What gets you off?

Hot men who know how to talk dirty/flirt/be sexy and not sound corny.

Are there physical characteristics needed for a good sexual experience?

Big dick, at least a decent body and face and an eagerness to please.

Is it mainly a mental thing for you?

50/50 mental and physical.

what position works best for you?

Missionary is fine.

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2022-11-20T05:24:59+00:00

Mental connection, feeling safe meaning he's committed to me and if I get pregnant he will be supportive with either decision.

Good size dick a plus. I like them straight but curves have also been pretty good.

I just have a tilted uterus and sexual trauma from childhood so I like being on top the most. I feel in control. I don't really need anything said to me. I am the one doing all the talking. Once My ex started saying all this stuff and i was like wtf?? He's like "you talk like this so I'm trying to mirror u". I was like "i do?" LOL I just be talking!

2022-11-17T11:12:27+00:00

No misogyny

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EulenWatcher · 2022-11-17T03:25:11+00:00

Being comfortable, secure and not under stress. Then having fun time with my partner.

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-17T16:48:03+00:00

Nice Try, ATF.

Spacetalks3114 · 2022-11-17T17:59:57+00:00

Someone who listens.

I've been with 1 man in my life. He was a gay man (it's a long story). But, he refused to listen to me at all. I told him to stop doing stuff, he would do it more and harder. Because he assumed HE knew my body better than I did. Because he watched porn. (not joking lmaoo)

No one is a sex god. Every woman is different. It's good to get tips to try out, but ultimately, you need to experiment and listen to your partner's individualistic needs.

Some women prefer hitting the cervix, while others may be more interested in clitoral orgasming. It's up to the girl. There is no one trick that works for every woman and anyone who tells you there is, is bullshitting you.

So yeah, I think this is probably the best advice for both sexes.

I know it seems like common sense, but you would be suprised at how many of my friends have similar experiences of people not listening at all to them.

a_popful_mail · 2022-11-17T20:15:35+00:00

Usually it starts off as playful banter and cuddling. One of us might already be a little on, so we initiate with the other usually starting with more silly flirting like "kiss tsunamis" and stuff like that. Then it'll involve plenty of kissing and hand exploration and usually more of the silly flirting turned into more flirting about how much we love each other. By then one of us usually pounces full into action. So it involves quite a lot of building up to it, you can't really just one two three and go.

During it, I mean, I like it most when I get attention all over during the course of it. Or the inverse when I'm doing it I tend to follow the same philosophy with a few changes based on what she likes. As for positions, it really depends if I'm on top or on bottom, because I like both. I pretty much always like being able to see her face though. I get really nervous when I can't.

For things to say, I talked about it a bit above. Starting with silly and immature lovey dovey stuff. Then more love usually throughout the whole thing. I don't think I'd be interested without that.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-11-18T00:11:34+00:00

A very deep voice, vocalizing commands, him being highly reactive and responsive, his body on me and engulfing me, his scent, skin, dick. Eye contact that swallows me up like a floor. Lets me be hungry and active, knows how to sit back and let me express myself, knows how to sit back and desire me as I satisfy my desire for him. Men not easily disgusted - toe sucking while your feet are in the air kinda men. All or nothing kinda men - they are rough without violence. Loving him makes it more powerful. There has to be love in there. Maybe not in love, but something.

Knows how to laugh, lets me laugh too. A pleased face and body. Love feeling light with him, spent, free. That feeling alone is what leads to round two, feeling free. Lusty-minded out of the bed, burns when he is around me. They've got nothing to lose. That is a personality thing, face first guys. Non-lusty sexually uptight men don't do it for me, a flower on the wall, a stick in the mud, a man grossed out by sucking toes and getting his beard wet.

The more they fuck her, the more her body will be trained to crave it or need it to get going properly. Like coffee. It's a routine of releasing the body gets used to. The female body is malleable in almost all ways. Mentally and physically. If you let her sit idle for a few months, good luck. Her body will just adjust comfortably to no sex. Not like men, honey. Women aren't like men in this way. You have to keep at it or start from scratch. Sex starts with her and will die with him. Got it, hun?

Dcombs101 · 2022-11-18T04:14:48+00:00

May not be what you’re looking for, but for me a strong man and a deep voice, along with a big dick and the confidence/knowledge how to use them are key. I’m small, 5’1”, and fairly slightly built so the bigger a man is, the hotter he is. And I don’t mean muscle wise, I’m more attracted to the tall dudes with the dad bods. Give me wide shoulders, some cushion in the middle, a beard and a voice deep enough to rattle window and I’m done for.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-11-19T06:14:51+00:00

Someone who is enthusiastic, curious, creative, and asks questions/checks in with me will get me off almost 100% of the time.

Title	What gets you off?
Author	LebaneseImperfection
Upvotes	15
Comments	73
Date	November 17, 2022 1:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yxcxxo/what_gets_you_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-gets-you-off.1140017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140017

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