Holding yourself to some unachievable standard of what it takes as a man to get laid is a recipe for disappointment and resentment

Holding yourself to some unachievable standard of what it takes as a man to get laid is a recipe for disappointment and resentment. These unrealistic expectations are a mix of what you expect of yourself, what others expect of you and what you expect of others.

A guy who convinces himself that he has to be 6'5", ruggedly handsome, white, etc., and at the same time be perfect emotionally - always confident, never nervous or anxious or shy, never get angry, etc., will set himself up for failure 100% of the time. As nobody can possibly meet those unrealistic expectations, men end up disappointed with themselves and there is nothing that kills self esteem and confidence like being disappointed with yourself.

Expectations are a complex result of what your parents messages to you were when you were young, such as "you are such a good boy, you are such a handsome boy, you will be breaking so many hearts, etc" and other messages when you get older, from people saying you can't be attractive unless you are confident, calm, loud, brash, popular, whatever.

So these expectations create a ton of pressure and anxiety in the person who is trying to meet them. Essentially they backfire and make people more isolated, nervous and anxious.

If men just give up these stupid expectations they have of themselves and stop trying to live up to the expectations that family and society have of them, they will be much more satisfied with themselves. And when one is satisfied with themselves, it makes it so much easier for others to be satisfied with them.

In other words, learn expectation management and you will be happier and get laid more!