My wife (26F) and I (31M) have both decided that we’re ready to divorce, there is no recovering from things that have happened. She’s open to giving me 50/50 custody of our child, and mediation, i’d appreciate any feedback

ballzdeepinbacon · 2023-02-02T22:38:54+00:00

Why is allow a word here? She will agree to 50/50 custody. Which frankly should always be the immediate starting point.

ToddPackersBrother · 2023-02-02T23:37:38+00:00

No. Get it signed. Remember tax deductions which you get if you have 50/50 and have a higher AGI. So shhhhhh

AirSailer · 2023-02-02T21:55:53+00:00

wife is open to allowing 50/50 custody

You need to start using different language, this implies she has a say.

You should allow her 50/50, especially considering she's expecting child support.

captainchippsixx · 2023-02-02T22:43:08+00:00

What happened the last 14 months? (Pregnancy and 5 months.)

12% of what? Income After taxes? You will have to cover medical for your child. You need to write a budget for your take home pay and subtract all this out. Not a fun number. Rent, car ins, everything. You might have to cover her medical.

Try to get to a monthly payment: my ex was angling for a check every time I got a paychecks

M

Can you handle 50%? You will have to buy all the same stuff because she is not going to share.

TheBoyBand · 2023-02-03T02:36:24+00:00

LoL… “she’s willing” and I bet it’s “amicable” my dude I think theres enough comments.

Boomer70770 · 2023-02-03T01:19:05+00:00

Get everything in writing if you're both good with it and take it to an attorney, one attorney representing both of you.

I believe they'll send to a judge who will "authorize" it, or whatever.

If you pull that off, count your fucking blessings.

Strive for compromise. The second either of you isn't, it'll turn into a super-expensive shit show.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-02-02T23:23:47+00:00

Mediation tips: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=46407

gyozadouda · 2023-02-02T21:47:43+00:00

Absolutely. Why does she need child support if you’re splitting custody 50/50?

Did she come up with these demands herself or did she have legal advice? You need to pass all of this on to your attorney.

2ndChance_1stMistake · 2023-02-02T23:07:46+00:00

It’s a trap.

Get a lawyer now.

Get an emergency custody declaration and an ex parte order giving you exclusive use of the family home. Clear out the joint account and keep all spending records from this point forward. Cancel all credit cards and freeze your credit. You need to be the custodial parent and get child support from her. It’s not a percentage of anyone’s income. It’s an equation based on your share of the joint income and the cost of care.

Your STBXW is currently doing all of this for herself. You are now in a street fight. Strike first, strike hard, no mercy.

Knave7575 · 2023-02-03T04:01:53+00:00

This is a good deal. Sign fast.

wisstinks4 · 2023-02-03T04:58:21+00:00

I would say you agreed to instead of allow. Who is calling the shots here? Did she chest and started the divorce proceedings? Trying to understand your dynamics here. The post is vague, causing speculation. If you could clarify that may help.

ciscokid12345 · 2023-02-03T05:27:12+00:00

it took me 2 years and 60,000 in attorney fees to get my 50/50 custody plus about 30% of my after tax earnings for support and alimony. seems like a fair deal. take it and run! get it written up by the mediators and signed by both parties.

you can always get the money reassessed later if her employment changes or you lose your job. custody is founded on whatever is the status quo and is much harder to change later.

PureCanna · 2023-02-03T18:59:36+00:00

Get it agreed through mediation then breathe easy. Until then, I would prepare for the worst. Nothing against anyone involved, just make the call to an attorney and see what they say….1 hr free consultation might answer some heavy questions

Yanks4lyf · 2023-02-03T22:15:24+00:00

If you have 50/50 custody why would you need to pay her child support? So that she wouldn’t have to get a real job?

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