What can me and other women do to help?

Lolocraft1 · 2023-03-01T19:28:42+00:00

Overall, you did a great thing all by yourself: You gave us a shot and asked for advice instead of directly shitting on us. Not a lot of people can do it, and that’s why I’m thankful

To help, the best thing to do is, when a man seems or even tell you he’s not okay, listen to him. Any feelings and emotion a woman can have, be betrayed, hated on, feel unloved, a man can feel like this too. I suggest you check r/malementalhealth for more on the subject

Same apply if a man tell you he’s victim of abuse, rape, or assault. Both gender can be victim.

Also, at the opposite, if a woman tell you a man did something to her, of course you listen to her, but do not assume she’s 100% telling the truth. If both genders can be victims, both gender can be criminal too

TL/DR: Treat everybody the same you want them to treat you, and have critical thinking. Never assume someone’s 100% telling the truth and never assume someone’s 100% lying.

The best advice can be resumed like this: Always think and act REGARDLESS OF GENDERS

Middle_Raisin_7481 · 2023-03-01T17:01:26+00:00

I'd recommend watching Janice Fiamengo's videos on YouTube. She provides a good education about the realities of feminism.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2023-03-01T13:37:52+00:00

The problem is not your fear or you being wery, the problem is the social rules being unequal.
Yes im stronger than you, but if i hurt you, theres real severe punishment for me.
If a woman destroys my reputation or decides to take my assets and children, THERE IS NO PUNISHMENT FOR HER THANKS TO FEMINISM.
Yes im stronger than you, but if i hit you, society will jump on me and destroy me for hurting you.
If you decide to ruin my life, NOBODY will help me, society will not give a single fuck, the laws will all be biased against me, and i will suffer alone in silenve with my life ruined.
Is that difference clear enough now?
Im as a man have no recourse, no tools, absolutly no way to defend myself agaisnt a woman without my life being ruined.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2023-03-01T15:19:07+00:00

Firstly, thank you for being here.

May I suggest that you are employing various "untruths" within your mindset that you're probably not even aware of. For example, in a comment to someone else you wrote:

Just like how not all men are violent...

This automatically sets up a false narrative where "not all men are violent" has the inference that "most men ARE violent", and by a further inference by omission "most women are not violent". These two statements are wholly untrue. MOST men are NOT violent. A tiny minority are violent. The second part is equally untrue - an equal number of women are physically violent as men are, but more women are psychologically or emotionally violent than men are.

This shows you have an underlying bias that you're probably not aware of. Changing this will be very helpful for us.

On a practical level, men are absolutely defenseless in any "fight" with a woman. As you're now aware, the courts side with her, do not punish her very often, and give lenient sentences when they do.

We need people who can police other women's bad behaviour. Can you do that?

Can you call out your friends, sisters, mother, daughters, daughters-in-law etc. when they gossip, tell untruths about men, lie for attention, lie for gain, steal by proxy, bad-mouth the father of their kids (you know, the man SHE chose to have kids with!)?

Without that, we won't get anywhere.

fbacaleb · 2023-03-01T13:30:18+00:00

Honestly that would take a lot more than a movement, to change how men are viewed, it will take decades. Men just need more emotional support and not to have body shaming be normalized, having women say one thing about it being okay for them to open up, and then use it against them later. Men just need to feel safe, until then, I’m afraid men will continue to be “creeps” in a way, because we lack that emotional connection that women have. And until that changes, I’m afraid nothing will.

We need to stop treating men as things, and start treating them as people. Not as just bank accounts, and as a successful person. Stop calling a guy with masculine traits as having big dick energy and the opposite as small dick energy. That would help for sure. Men are told one thing and see another with a women’s actions, that’s the biggest one where women need to change for sure.

OrganisedSquirrel · 2023-03-01T20:19:35+00:00

Simply? You can just push back against the general narrative that "men are bad, women are angels".

Also push back against the gender pay gap myth and the narrative that women were historically oppressed by men and somehow still are.

It helps that this stuff isn't just automatically accepted as true by everyone in every conversation.

PactScharp · 2023-03-01T16:57:56+00:00

Drop feminism.

Terrible_Head_8847 · 2023-03-01T17:54:49+00:00

When you witness someone attempting to speak for you, but you don’t agree with them, tell them and the other people they are attempting to speak to.

Orangelightning77 · 2023-03-01T19:27:45+00:00

The most important thing to me and the intactivist community is to stop circumcising infants and minors.

The problem is that it is against their will and they cannot consent to something like that until they're 18. Furthermore, it removes the most sensitive parts of the penis, except for some inner skin in alot of cases. It removes the "gliding motion" which removes an entire sensation that it's supposed to have and also eliminates most of the friction during intercourse, which means less pain for women. The gliding motion also keeps vaginal fluids from being pulled out during intercourse. Circumcised penises, dildos, etc all pull fluid out of the vagina, acting as a sort of pump. Circumcision also removes all the moisture that the inner mucosal skin of the foreskin is meant to create, like the inside of your mouth, meaning more pain and friction during intercourse but also, the penis grows a thick layer of callous skin (keratin) to desensitize and protect the penis to compensate for the protection the foreskin previously provided. Many circumcised men including myself will tell you that in order to climax during sex, we need to jackhammer, pound hard and without breaks, no slowing down. Im a sweaty, panting mess in bed, because i can take up to an hour or more to climax. And forget about handjobs and blowjobs, even anal, i have never been able to climax from anything other than vaginal sex. You might say that's just a me problem and has no bearing on circumcision however, many circumcised men agree with me, but also i have been restoring my foreskin for about 2 years. It basically is the process of stretching your remaining penile skin over a long period of time to regrow a new foreskin. Recently, i have been able to climax from those things a couple of times, but i have a long way to go and i predict I'm only going to get better from here. Still even with foreskin restoration, i can NEVER get back the ridged band, which is the sphincter-tip of the foreskin, and is highly sensitive. And I can never get back my frenulum, which is THE most sensitive part of the penis, located on the inner foreskin on the underside of the penis.

Long story short, I should have been the one to make this choice. No one else. This is the most personal part of my body and i feel something far beyond violated about whats been taken from me. This isnt some useless piece of skin, or something akin to an appendix, this is highly sensitive, erogenous tissue at the TIP of our genitals! Removing that against someones will is beyond insane and it is something we need to learn as a society is wrong. We ended segregation and had the civil rights movement. We've now had 3 waves of feminism, we've legalized gay marriage, we are now in the age of LGBTQ and trans rights, however, we seem to still chastise, berate and belittle any man that speaks critically of circumcision. The number of times ive been laughed at and laughed off because I'm upset over my circumcision in 2023 is mind blowing. We have done so much good and made so much progress socially, and we still have a long way to go, but THIS is the thing we decide we're going to hang onto?? Its outrageous. Forced genital cutting is mutilation, full stop. If a consenting adult wants this done then that's their business, and I would not consider that mutilation. Same goes for women actually. If a woman wants FGM for herself for whatever reason, i wouldn't consider it FGM in that case. More like consensual female genital cutting, and same for men. This is just something you cannot acquire proper consent for if you are a minor.

I say this to you because I've seen plenty of conversations with mothers and soon to be mothers about this issue. They say it's their right to cut their kids genitals, but what about their kid's rights? Why are they not given the choice about their own genitals? Treated with less bodily autonomy than cats. I mean, many states and cities have outlawed cat declawing, but we can de-prepuce infants?? Anyway, i digress. To the mothers who have already circumcised their sons, it is what it is, what's done is done, maybe you didn't know the harm, maybe you believe the made up benefits, you probably thought you were doing them a good thing. But we NEED to educate people. This is something we shouldn't stand for any longer. Our bodies are not just pieces of clothing you can rip the tags off of. That's the best part of our genitals you're talking about. And the saddest thing is that SO many men to this day still don't know what was taken from them and would rather not know. As someone who cares deeply about this, its probably the most heartbreaking part. We need to have a serious discussion about this as a society.

Punder_man · 2023-03-01T19:38:52+00:00

Firstly, welcome aboard and thanks for posting, you may get some down votes or flack from others in this sub but as long as you are here to ask things in good faith you should for the most part receive good faith responses back.

Now, with that out of the way i'll dive into the meat and potatoes of your post.
Firstly a small part of your post is about "What can you and other women do better with" and the majority of your post is about treating men as potentially dangerous.

Let start with what woman can do better,

Firstly I think the biggest thing women can do 'better' is holding other women accountable when they make misandrist statements or comments just as us men are expected to call out men for their misogyny.

All too often many women will either agree with misandrist statements like "All men are pigs" or #KillAllMen out of fear of not being part of the 'in group' but unless women start acknowledging that Misandry is not only as real as Misogyny but also as harmful to men then we won't really get anywhere.

A basic start would be to avoid using terms like:

Mansplaining
Manterrupting
Manspreading
Toxic Masculinity

Or making sweeping generalizations about men "All men are X" (Replace X with, Pigs, Potential Rapists, Abusers, etc) Often, the problem comes from when you say "Men are X" and don't put a quantifier like "Some" or "Many" or "A Lot" at the start. When you do this the default assumption is that you are talking about 'ALL' men.

So if you feel the need to vent about things that men have done the best solution is to be specific and say "Some men are creeps" or "Many men have made me feel uncomfortable"

It may seem small but by doing this you are quantifying your statement and are leaving room / acknowledgement that it isn't "ALL" men doing these things.

Now, lets move onto the next part of your post.
Before I begin I will tell you that having a wariness around men because of being assaulted by men in the past is fine, there's nothing wrong with being wary / cautious.

The problem comes from when women who have sadly had negative experiences with men using those experiences to justify preaching the same level of wariness to other women thus inciting fear of men in general.

I myself was abused by multiple women from when I was 5 years old until my late teens.
This has caused me to be wary of women and has also resulted in me not being able to build any romantic relationships with women (Despite me really wanting to) because my inner defense systems refuse to let me open up to women because I don't want to risk being vulnerable and getting hurt again.

I'm aware of this, however I do not hold all women accountable for the actions of the specific women who hurt me. Nor do I look at every woman as a potential abuser. I'm more likely to look for red flags which match the signs / signals my former abusers used and react to those instead.

To summarize, no one is going to tell you that its wrong to be cautious or wary of men due to your past experiences with men..
But all we ask is that you don't use your previous experiences to paint a picture of "All men must be the same because of my experience"

Hopefully that makes sense..

KrazyJazz · 2023-03-01T15:30:13+00:00

What can you do to help? You could create an organization named Women Against Absurd and Abusive Feminism, just an example, and officially, publically stand with men and boys on men and boys issues. That would be a start.

I hope you are ready to take the cataclysmic amount of shit coming your way if you decide to do so. Because feminists are not very well known to play fair....

duhhhh · 2023-03-01T15:36:59+00:00

You all have a lot of good information that I wish I'd known sooner, that's not to say I agree with everything here but I've definitely learned a lot. I'd like to know what me and other women can do better with?

Keep learning. Acknowledge men are people too. Call out misinformation and misandry.

Am i not supposed to be weary?

Weary is fine. Making assumptions they are dangerous because they have a penis is not.

I know if a man were to do something I'd be physically unable to stop him, if a woman tried something I'd feel more confident to be able to stop her

That is a misconception that leads to dismissing male victims of women. You aren't stronger 24/7/365. You need sleep. You'll get sick. You'll get injured. You probably won't be able to stop her then.

Anyways, what can I and other women do better? I know y'all don't want us to fear you, but I dont know how to make this fear go away when your all so much stronger physically.

Don't rape boys and treat men who were molested as boys with compassion. The majority of men convicted of raping women were sexually violated by adult women when they were boys. Multiple studies in the US, UK, and Canada have shown this. Around 10 of them cited here.

http://empathygap.uk/?p=1993#_Toc498111528

So women not raping, and rape by women being acknowledged as traumatic and treated with compassion, would probably stop a lot of women from getting raped in the future. That should matter if the goal is to stop women from getting raped rather than to demonize men.

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-03-01T18:52:58+00:00

Welcome and thanks for being open to ‚reach across the decide’.

Given that any woman can destroy any men’s life now, decades after they last met with nothing more than a (social) media post: Why shouldn’t men fear women even more?

Please also consider that men have to not only access how safe the women is based on the past and the present but also have to make a reliable prediction about who she is going to develop into decades from now!

See how easy it is to spin up something like that?

TL;DR: you deal with this fear the same way one deals with every other fear. Don’t fetishize it.

Capn--Flint · 2023-03-01T19:31:11+00:00

First off all, be very aware of whether you're thinking, saying or doing sexist things. Feminism is based on a sexist mindset.

Now, I'm not saying that men and women are the same, because we certainly are not. But if you're reacting differently to the same situation depending on whether a man or a woman does it, then you have to be able to clearly and succintly explain why you are. There is a slew of double standards that can't hold up to the slightest degree of scrutiny. Hence the feminist propensity to avoid earnest debates and go straight for sexism and personal attacks instead.

Sometimes there is good reason to treat men and women differently, men often require a different kind of emotional support than women do for example. But you have to figure out how men and women differ without falling back on catchphrases, generalisations and stereotypes.

As for you being wary around men, practice picking up on social cues. Most of the time, you can tell the difference between a man that's dangerous and one who aren't, by their behavior and the words they say. It's not the man's size that determines whether or not he is dangerous. Other than that, learn self defence, size isn't the main issue here either.

Kuato2012 · 2023-03-01T22:23:47+00:00

One big assist that women can give to men is to speak up on our behalf. As a woman, you can avoid some of the most common ways that men get told to shut the fuck up.

If a woman says something sexist like, "all men are assholes," and I try to point out her sexism, I am easily shot down with thought-terminating responses like "nOt aLL mEn!" or accusations of "mansplaining." You have the enviable privilege of avoiding some of that horseshit.

You'll probably still get called a "pick me" and censored / banned from any feminist spaces where you do that, though.

lhblues2001 · 2023-03-01T23:32:36+00:00

Ask yourself why you are hanging out with anyone (one on one) if you feel “weary”? If you do this because you cognitively know there is nothing to be afraid of but you are afraid anyway because you are a woman and he is a man, realize that society has trained you to feel this way. And then think how it would feel if people felt that way about you. Then, work to change your societal training and stop being afraid of men for no reason.

Sarin03 · 2023-03-02T00:35:32+00:00

Honestly not much. Advocating for male rights and educating about mens problems within the feminist community is probably the best way to go.

PactScharp · 2023-03-01T16:58:56+00:00

Btw, lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence. Gay men the lowest. I'm not so sure it's wise for you to assume you're at a bigger risk surrounded by men than women.

FbxCycler · 2023-03-01T16:15:24+00:00

One small thing you can do is never, ever use the term “mansplaining” in casual conversation.

That is a sexist slur against men. Period. Full. Stop.

It is a gendered insult against half the human race. Period.

It is indefensible. Period.

As a man, I react to that term on a visceral level, pretty much the same way an African American would react to a certain racial slur.

That is to say, if you use that term, I pretty much will not talk to you or have anything to do with you. I’d walk away from you not talk to ever again.

Because you would have just insulted me and my gender.

It’s pretty much along the lines of words like “bitch” and “cunt” and “twat” and other derogatory, misogynistic terms used against women.

It’s a misandrist term that has no place in any kind of discourse between the genders.

Don’t use that term and call out anyone else who you hear using that term.

phoenician_anarchist · 2023-03-01T15:33:44+00:00

I'm nice to strangers, and most men I treat well, I only get weary if we end up becoming friends and hanging out in private - once we've hung out a couple times this feeling tends to go away.

You're probably doing better than most.

A lot of the posts on here seem to be about how people (mostly women) treat men as possibly dangerous and are weary because of that perceived danger.

I think what most people here are referring to are situations like when a father goes to pick his kids up from school and gets treated like a potential paedophile.

I don't know how to make this fear go away when your all so much stronger physically.

Understand that a significant majority of men will do you no harm (even if you're trying to hurt them) and then those that are actually dangerous will start to stand out like a sore thumb. Also, some situational awareness will help, the vast majority of predators will wait until you are vulnerable to strike (e.g. burglars will wait until the house is empty and avoid houses with obvious security camera/alarms) so avoiding these situations will significantly reduce your risk (e.g. who the fuck goes for a jog wearing headphones at 2 am??? Why do feminists keep pushing women to do things like this?)

Of course, many people will decry this as "victim blaming" and "misogyny"...

Justinance- · 2023-03-01T16:03:22+00:00

It's hard for me to say what an individual might do to make things better. I like most women on a personal level. My biggest issues aren't with women, but with the government.

Maybe vote for people who believe:

That men have just as much rights as women with regards to access to their children after divorce.

Who support laws that give men breaks on their child support if they choose to be an equal parent.

Who support getting rid of Social Security Title IV D.

Who want to abolish alimony.

Those are my big issues.

ZekalMacabre · 2023-03-01T15:20:00+00:00

I've been a feminist for a long time,

Ugh... This is your first and biggest mistake. Feminism is extremely misandrist. I would advise you to discard everything you learned as a feminist. It is an extremely evil belief system. You are going to be seen as spy by a lot of people here. A lot of feminists have come here and done what you are doing now... Only to show their true hateful nature in the comments. Why are you any different?

and stumbled upon this subreddit recently. You all have a lot of good information that I wish I'd known sooner, that's not to say I agree with everything here but I've definitely learned a lot. I'd like to know what me and other women can do better with?

Dismantle feminism. That's a good first step. Your system of belief has caused millions of men to suffer, be locked up unjustly, be treated like pariahs for literally no reason and created sexist, gendered laws. Feminism is pure evil.

A lot of the posts on here seem to be about how people (mostly women) treat men as possibly dangerous and are weary because of that perceived danger. I too am guilty of this however I'm unsure of how to "fix" or "do better" in this regard.

It's really simple. Men are regular people, just like anyone else with feelings and dreams and hopes. Stop focusing on the tiny percentage of the population that are criminals and don't paint an entire gender with the same brush. That's not a hard thing to do.

I have been assaulted and used by men before so I'm a bit weary when it comes to new people I meet.

A lot of people here have been assaulted and used by women.

I'm nice to strangers, and most men I treat well, I only get weary if we end up becoming friends and hanging out in private

This is a you problem, not a them problem.

once we've hung out a couple times this feeling tends to go away. Am i not supposed to be weary?

Not of every single person. That's called paranoia.

Even if the chance of assault isn't nearly as high as people want you to believe, it's still there -

You could be struck by lightning when you walk out of your house. There's a chance of that too. Do you spend an excessive amount of time worrying about that? You are overthinking it.

the reason why I'm more worried when it comes to men than women as a bisexual, is because I know if a man were to do something I'd be physically unable to stop him, if a woman tried something I'd feel more confident to be able to stop her (in this situation I'm referring to us both being sober, and one with physical not emotional manipulation).

You're still overthinking it. The truth is, the vast majority of men already assault and rape all they want and that number is ZERO.

Anyways, what can I and other women do better? I know y'all don't want us to fear you, but I dont know how to make this fear go away when your all so much stronger physically. (Apologies if this kind of post isn't allowed)

As I said earlier, all of your apprehension and fear comes from being brainwashed into feminism. Drop that poison and things will start going better for you. Don't think like a perpetual victim, it's not helpful to you or anyone else. In fact, it's doing damage to you.

Whiskeyisamazing · 2023-03-01T23:13:21+00:00

Vote better.

We literally had a movement in 2016 to vote for a woman despite her committing multiple felonies. The FBI official statement was "well she didn't intend for enemy nations to get that data, so it wasn't her fault it leaked due to her having a private server with TS/SCI data on it.

That's ridiculous. At the same time, this went down. A MALE petty officer took some pictures of his submarines nuclear reactor, and he went to jail. No one leaked it. They were just on his phone, straight to jail.

It might be a 1% vs. Plebian issue, but at the end of the day, a well-connected woman committed multiple felonies and 54% of women shrugged their shoulders and voted for her anyway.

terrorist_giraffe · 2023-03-02T01:29:45+00:00

People in the MRA movement are as varied as people in the Feminist movement, so you'll probably get a wide variety of answers. Mine is that you don't need to feel bad about being scared - it's natural to be scared of someone bigger than you, especially if you've had bad experiences in the past. Don't assume that men are bad because they're scary, but don't blindly trust everyone either.

From my perspective, the most positive thing a person involved in both feminism and men's rights can do is keep both sides accountable. When a feminist 'jokes' that all men are trash, remind them that men are human beings with feelings, and that their comments are doing more harm that good. If they say that only problematic men would have a problem with their statements and that it doesn't matter if you hurt the feelings of that kind of man, tell them that they're being either cruel or stupid. Us guys like to think we can take care of ourselves, but standing up for ourselves to women is something we struggle to do for various psychological and social reasons, so any assistance you can give on that front would be greatly appreciated.

deeredman1991 · 2023-03-02T03:45:33+00:00

Well, since you asked; you might consider not referring to yourself as a feminist anymore as feminism, while initially a noble goal; has been subverted and coopted by misandrists to oppress, subjugate, and demonize men for the last 50 or so years. National Socialism started out ok enough too but there is a reason you don't see the movement around anymore. For starters; it makes it really hard to separate the good ideas from the bad ideas when bigots start to successfully infect the leadership without splitting the group. If the "good" feminists who supported men would just acknowledge that their movement has been subverted from it's original purpose and re-brand themselves into a gender-egalitarian movement the hateful ideologies would weed themselves out in the refusal to switch making it a lot easier to know who actually supported gender equality, who was just dressing female chauvinism up to look like gender equality, and all it costed the movement was a name that holds an inherent gender bias in it's etymology anyway while restoring men's faith in the original idea that the movement was supposed to represent. Sounds like a small price to pay for such a large payoff to me. I really don't understand what is so important about the name. It's the ideas that are important and terms like "gender-egalitarianism" more accurately reflects those ideas in 2023. That being said; I am starting to believe that if you are still a feminist in 2023 you do not actually support men and that you are really just a bad faith actor. The only thing that has me holding out is the fact that there hasn't been a mass exodus of feminists yet and I would really like to believe that most women are not just inherently sexist.

It's perfectly fine to want to protect yourself, however don't use your physical weakness as a weapon to garner sympathy and then bludgeon men over the head in order to extort us. Yes, men are stronger and capable of inflicting more damage, just say that, don't act like we are all predators, don't use the fact that people believe we are all predators to justify our abuse, and don't let other people do it either.

As for avoiding men; I think a better solution would be to get training and carry a gun, that being said; avoiding men is your prerogative if that is what you want but please do NOT insult us or try to get us fired because we don't want to associate with women. If you get to avoid us; we should be allowed to avoid you. We shouldn't be forced to hire you, we shouldn't be forced to train you, we shouldn't be forced to work closely with you, or vice versa. We should not be forcibly put in any situation where you could lie on us, use your vulnerability to illicit sympathy, and MeToo us. Women should be understanding of why we want these rights, and respect our choices to protect ourselves as well. Not everyone sees the risk/reward of interacting with the opposite sex as beneficial to them and there is nothing wrong with that for either gender. Promoting that idea would help men.

Another thing that women could do is to acknowledge and appreciate men's contributions to society instead of acting like "men ain't shit" and "I don't need no man". Acknowledge the fact that you live in a society that relies on men, if the government needs soldiers to protect the country; who will they draft? Men. If you get assaulted or robbed who are you going to call? A male bouncer/security guard/police officer. If a large and aggressive wild animal wonders into a metropolitan area who are they going to send to handle the situation? Men. If society collapsed tomorrow who is the first person women would run to for protection? A big, strong, intimidating, man. Yet a lot of women seem to be convinced that "anything you can do I can do better", until it actually comes time to pay the piper, while not being able to name one competitive sport or field of study, with objective metrics (objective metrics being key here) where women consistently outperform men. Not doing that would be nice. I know you think that you are "empowering women" but what you are really doing is disempowering men by taking the social status and value associated with the contributions that we make and either downplaying or taking them for granted, men make a lot of sacrifices to make this whole thing work, acknowledging that fact would be nice, and I get that a lot of these post wall women are pissed off and disappointed because they were told that they could just do whatever they wanted and faff off for a decade or two while they work on their careers but that is no reason to attack, bully, shame, and go full incel on a group of people who make their existence possible just because they were gullible and narcissistic in their 20s.

Acknowledge that consent to sex is not consent to parenthood. If you have a baby without getting a marriage license first, and you make the sole decision to keep it; then please leave the sperm donor alone, if you needed child support then you should have gotten a ring. In a similar vein; if a man does decide to make a commitment and stick around to form a bond with their child; do not try to keep him and his child apart without a VERY good reason and additionally; do not talk ish about the child's father to the child for any reason, not just for men but for the welfare of the child as well.

Insist that "forced to penetrate" should be included as part of the definition of rape and make sure that any studies that you share or comment on include "forced to penetrate" as part of the definition of rape. Similarly; examine studies critically to make sure that silly things like regretting a consensual encounter is not considered sexual assault/abuse/rape to inflate the numbers.

Don't use/let people use bullshit terms like "financial abuse" to refer to a situation where a man is not having his needs met in a relationship and cuts off a broke and entitled woman who doesn't want to go get a job. We are not financial objects. It is not a man's duty to pay a woman's bills, it is a woman's responsibility to decide if she wants to stay with a man or not based on factors like whether or not he pays her bills, but he does not have a duty to pay her bills anymore than she has a duty to sleep with him.

Fight for men's issues to be taught in schools and gender studies classes.

Don't say/let people say stupid shit like "women can't be sexist" or "misandry doesn't exist."

Support ending the forced genital mutilation of male babies (i.e. circumcision) just to make our dicks look more pleasing to women and start calling out parents for cutting their children's dicks up before they are even able to crawl.

Don't say/let people say that women need more support than men in a society that cuts male baby's dicks up to make them look more pretty for women or <insert virtually any other point on this list here>.

So yeah, all that and calling other people (men and women both) out for doing it too would be great. I'm sure I've missed a bunch but I am guessing the other guys here have probably already covered most of it.

AndyBrown65 · 2023-03-02T05:30:22+00:00

Just call out hate

Perfectly-Not-Wrong · 2023-03-02T06:27:44+00:00

You can support men by asking Feminists / Women to take equal responsibilities to become equal instead of asking for more & more privileges. Privileges without any reason are only for disabled and incapable people.

Beginning-Bluebird22 · 2023-03-02T08:41:30+00:00

it’s so refreshing to see a post like this here. I wish the same discourse could be had in feminist subreddits

redTanto · 2023-03-01T14:05:32+00:00

Don't lie, cheat, or steal. Be loyal/devoted. Just basic morals/virtues/principals.

BlackBeard30 · 2023-03-01T17:46:00+00:00

This may be off topic to what you think you're after here or really this sub in general. However I think given your concerns about the dangers women face from men I think it needs to be said as it is the only real answer.

The real issue here is the breakdown of the family/community dynamic. For pretty much all of western civilization women(and children) were kept safe from bad men by good men. We are built for this, it is our instinct to do so and we are good at it. A man who might harm a women would at the very least think twice because that woman has a father, grandfather, brother, uncle, sons, etc. who'd put him in the ground for doing so.

The common tale of the father cleaning his guns when the young man picks his daughter up for a date is not some meaningless story. We may play it off as one but it is a real threat and it's a threat that young man should and often does take seriously. You should be able to tell a sketchy man "my family knows where I am and who you are" and it be a real threat.

Modern feminism combined with the police state have destroyed this threat dynamic. Modern feminists would call this the patriarchy or toxic masculinity or something. And modern feminism has done great harm to family cohesion, large together families are far too rare these days.

You ask what can women do better, it's to let good men be good men. Accept what we offer, protection, support, and yes leadership. Accept it with gratitude as the well intentioned and essential thing that it is. And be faithful to that dynamic that has made western civilization what it is, what's given you the freedoms, safety and convinces you enjoy. Don't spit in the face of those who have built this world for you while demanding more of them.

random_sm · 2023-03-01T18:01:01+00:00

I got attacked by Roma people in the past on the street. There are aa lot of situations in which I feel unsafe on tge streets especially around Roma people.

The issue is that if I feel unsafe around a Roma group it's unfair to them if I treat them differently than any other stranger. I try to find a balance between being beinng fair and friendly but not putting myself in danger. It's tricky but possible. I'm guessing you are in a similar situation.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-03-01T21:13:31+00:00

Personally, I don't mind people being wary of men. Like you said, you assume he's going to be stronger than you, so you can't put up a fight. Personally, I think a good kick to the balls does quite a number, so men aren't THAT much of a threat, but realistically, it's a scary situation where you don't really have time to think about what to do. I just find it strange how far that wariness goes.

In general, I think you should be wary of strangers, man or woman. You don't know them, they're a threat. However, they're innocent until proven guilty, so that means you shouldn't be cold to them from the get go. Being cold is just going to get you a cold reaction usually.

Be rationally wary. I've seen people say if they were in a secluded area and someone was following them from behind (not necessarily because they're following them, but because they're just going in the same direction), they would be afraid of a man, but not afraid of a woman. Do you know how absurd it is to not be afraid of an adult woman who could potentially attack you by surprise and you don't know if she has a gun or a knife or chloroform? If someone is going to attack you in that setting, you're going to go down unless you're either lucky as hell or extremely well versed in street fighting, and even that is a maybe. https://www.reddit.com/r/FeMRADebates/comments/11auker/comment/j9yhu28/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 This guy explained it pretty well.

It is the extent at which people perceive men as a threat more than women that bothers me. Yes, generally speaking, an adult male is capable of more harm than an adult female, but both are capable of a decent amount of harm. If they want to cause harm, they WILL cause harm. And I hate that because of this huge discrepancy in perceived threat, you naturally keep men at arms length, but welcome women with ease. You also accept potential hostility from women more often than men because of this. Let's take a man yelling in an argument vs a woman yelling. It immediately gives you the feeling that the man is going to throw a punch soon, but with the woman, you just think "ah, she's just frustrated." It's all of these kinds of little things that really bother me.

HerrMitzerschmidt · 2023-03-02T00:45:29+00:00

Asking and caring is exactly the right thing; thanks 🙏. I’m sorry you often feel unsafe around men, but it’s understandable, and common. Unfortunately, a lot of men turn their frustrations into negative behavior; they are a problem for other men, too, but understandably scary for gentle women. I think men have a lot of work to do for themselves, but we’re not as well equipped by society to understand even our own emotions and psychology, so we’re only beginning to examine our pressures and frustrations, and having the guts to be open and supportive. Most of us know women have legitimate grievances (I’m 57 and I’ve heard them all my life), but too often the current perspective is that “it’s a man’s world, men have no legitimate grievances, and they’re to blame for everything anyway, so shut up and just agree with us.” It’s very healing and helpful just to hear a woman reach out and care, in this day and age: continue asking and listening, especially to obviously nice guys.

LightningDunk · 2023-03-01T21:01:00+00:00

You could stop making posts pretending you care about men when you clearly don't

RockmanXX · 2023-03-01T18:32:40+00:00

Even if the chance of assault isn't nearly as high as people want you to believe, it's still there

According to your logic, even if the chance of you being a MAN HATING Feminist isn't as high as you want me to believe, its still there. Isn't it? So why should i trust you?

is because I know if a man were to do something I'd be physically unable to stop him, if a woman tried something I'd feel more confident to be able to stop her

You talk as if ALL men are equally strong, i can't take on gym bros and YET somehow i go about my life without being paranoid of big guys beating the shit out of me.

I know y'all don't want us to fear you,

No, i don't CARE! Its not Men's responsibility to make Women feel comfortable&safe. Take responsibility of your own emotions like an adult.

Savings-Travel-9190 · 2023-03-01T19:44:53+00:00

You are a feminist, nobody wants to hear anything that you have to say. Go away. You can help by staying off this subreddit

tired_hillbilly · 2023-03-01T17:18:46+00:00

Anyways, what can I and other women do better?

If you're in the US, buy and carry a gun. God said we're all equal, but Samuel Colt made it so. You'll be a lot less afraid of assault if you can do something about it no matter how big the guy is.

Savings-Travel-9190 · 2023-03-01T19:45:55+00:00

Go the fuck away

aerial_coitus · 2023-03-02T01:16:27+00:00

shut up
go away

your damage is done

Tom_Crewze · 2023-03-01T18:35:36+00:00

The one most meaning full thing that can be done is way to far out of each for any single, or group of people.

Stop this culture of men being labeled as exclusively providers. This attitude towards us, I believe, is the main influence that drives decisions in courts and relationship dynamics where kids are involved.

cl1p5 · 2023-03-01T19:07:51+00:00

Actually it is more likely a man will be assaulted by a women in a intimate partner relationship. Women more commonly have dealt with sexual assault.

But if you want to help join a mothers for men’s rights and lobby for equal rights for men and women. Men’s rights in custody could use support.

Check out the “red pill” documentary. It was done by a former feminist and it shows what the red pill really is.

Equal-End7695 · 2023-03-01T22:44:39+00:00

No one agrees with everything. But you need to red pill all the feminist groups you belong with and point out that men have struggles as well and to blatantly ignore it makes them bigoted and feminism self defeating.

Dumboddball · 2023-03-01T23:55:35+00:00

If you don’t lie about our behavior, you are already helping tremendously. That’s how low the bar to be good to us men nowadays.

suj1290 · 2023-03-02T00:26:50+00:00

First, Just be honest about what you all want in men.No virtue signaling.

Second, Don't judge all men by standards of men you all like

Third,Stop invalidating men struggles

Jacklshere · 2023-03-02T02:55:57+00:00

Ditch the feminist label.

veedub447 · 2023-03-02T03:01:02+00:00

To start with, you could stop identifying as a feminist. That would help. The Men's Rights movement is an anti-feminist movement. Sans feminism we wouldn't be here, we would all just be Human rights advocates.
Don't come in here and complain about your dysfunctional relationships with men and your psychosis . If you picked creeps to go out that make you feeeeeel weary or whatever that's on you . We didn't pick your date. The vast majority of men are not going to assault women
Men on average are stronger then women, we all know that. If you feel more comfortable being with women then stick with women and stay away from men. That might be the best thing you can do to help.

Hitman322 · 2023-03-02T03:35:14+00:00

I applaud your retrospection and insight. Yes, I know men can be assholes. Some men have been so to the women in my family. Small percentage, but I still wanted my revenge on them.

What can women do at this point? Nothing. It's beyond repair. Show me the average man and an average woman, and I can explain the differences. It's night and day.

It all starts with the entitlement. Women receive deference in our courts. Imagine being a man who supported his woman through thick and thin. Earned 80% of the income at a job he hated, while putting her through college, and she chose a career that "made her happy". Nothing wrong with that. But when it comes to divorce, it's another story.

My lawyer very clearly told me this. "She can get caught lying as many times as she wants. You, as the father, can't get caught lying once"

So divorce happens. You split assets 50/50, even though you're both working the same hours and you've earned 80% of those assets, while she's working cush job that pays little, but "makes her happy". Let's say you, as a man, happened to work from home for the kids' formidable years while your wife is away making her 20%. She can't cook or clean or even do laundry. So you take up 100% of those roles because someone has to do it. You were at every field trip, took a change of clothes for accidents, and took care of the kids on sick days and summers, because paying $1400 a month for childcare was not financially viable.

And you can show the courts all of the above.

But here's the kicker, she can take you back to court as many times as she wants. If she felt the first 5 times didn't benefit her, she can take you back again. Eventually, a judge will side with her.

So there you are. As a father who raised his kids, but the kids are getting older and they barely remember what you did for them. Your wife fucks a Brazilian dude while you were married, but tells all your mutual friends that you, as the husband, is a piece of shit, and was the one cheating.

Your life will fall apart.

So, what can women do better? I can't begin to describe how. You have society, courts, legal system and even fucking dating apps in your corner. It's too fucking late.

I guess when men choose to drop out of this nonsense, society, dating, mating, etc., perhaps society at large will understand the travesty they have inflicted upon men.

Nihi1986 · 2023-03-02T03:42:47+00:00

Welcome and thank you!

There's not much we can do as individuals, but I think that a good start would be advocating for men's rights, even if just in our small social circles, bringing some data and facts or challenging the prejudices, specially regarding the law, the double standards and the discrimination many men suffer.

It's reasonable when you are weary, men and women are different for better or worse, we just would like to not pay for what some other men might have done. We don't support any form of violence and we believe in freedom for both genders, we don't want to get back to the 19th century or anything like that, we just want a truly equal society where respectful men are respected, where both women and men are safe and have equal opportunities.

Anih1list · 2023-03-02T04:50:12+00:00

Honestly a lot of it is just about creating a welcoming atmosphere. If you’re a feminist, you can touch on topics acceptable to a feminist audience, such as overwhelmingly male victims of police brutality, or underreported male victims of rape culture. If you’re into the whole intersectionality thing, just do it with men in mind.

LosingMyFocus · 2023-03-02T05:12:03+00:00

What can me and other women do to help?

Have some empathy for us. Most of you just see us as horny monsters that want to assault you or use you for sex in relationships. And if not, you see us as wallets.

Women don’t seem to think that we can struggle or go through hardships simply because we’re men. You don’t seem to think that we can also have mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, or ADHD. You only see us as the problem in the world.

Try to respect us a little more. We’re human too…

ArgueLater · 2023-03-02T05:14:35+00:00

Please share these videos with other women. They are all videos of women explaining men's issues, investigating them, or experiencing them first hand by presenting themselves as men. Just knowing is enough to appreciate, and appreciation is probably all men really want.

Viral tweet from FtM trans discovering the "empathy gap" -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNME0cloyyM
Documentary on a woman going under-cover as a (self-made) man -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip7kP_dd6LU
Honey Badger explaining male disposability -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp8tToFv-bA
"Red Pill" Documentary on a feminist trying to expose manosphere, renounces feminism -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7MkSpJk5tM
Woman talking about starting to date women, and learning men weren't lying about everything -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4E8qEDi_xg

Lonewolf_087 · 2023-03-02T05:29:04+00:00

Biggest ask I have - communicate and be up front, don't ghost. Being honest even if brutally honest is a good thing. Guys we hate guessing. Other thing is never rule a dude out; a few minutes sometimes that is all it takes to see how someone is or at least know if it's possible or not.

Other than that strictly relating more to feminism guys have difficulties that are different from girls. They are difficulties nonetheless. To understand the struggle of a man is just as important for a woman as it is for a man to understand the struggle of a woman.

Suntand_Success_736 · 2023-03-02T05:51:47+00:00

Not sure if you've seen it, but the case of Lucio Dupuy is an example of what men can face. He was a 5 year old murdered by his mother, after the courts granted her custody. It gets worse and I won't go into details.

If you can share this with other women and educate them how the system has failed men, that would be helpful.

Perfectly-Not-Wrong · 2023-03-02T06:24:41+00:00

Very few men assault people / women. But the problem is Women like these men very much than anyone else with an evil idea that they can make use of that quality to have an edge over others and for their revenges but finally end up getting assaulted themselves.

You have to blame yourself for that if you repeatedly tend to find those very few people for whatever personal reasons you chose them instead of blaming the huge rest of the men.

If you are feeling guilty and would like to fix this, educate women to treat nice men nice instead of the other way.

praductjr · 2023-03-02T11:13:34+00:00

Go watch the Norah Vincent documentary and The Red Pill documentary, if you want to see feminist coming to the light and grasping on the lies feminism sold them and the true nature of how society really treats men as disposable and unappreciated.

Henry_Blair · 2023-03-02T11:37:51+00:00

A tremendous help would be to share the following letter with other women, and telling them to share it further with more women if it struck a chord with them - https://lovists.com/2021/09/28/letter/

Thank you dearly... I appreciate your sympathy tremendously.

Title	What can me and other women do to help?
Author	Compr0m1s3d
Upvotes	89
Comments	123
Date	March 1, 2023 1:22 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/11f3nnf/what_can_me_and_other_women_do_to_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-can-me-and-other-women-do-to-help.1153956 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153956

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