Have you ever rejected a man because of his sexual history?

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SuitableLeather · 2021-04-11T03:14:06+00:00

Dated a guy I was smitten with, we had sex and then I found out he had been with over SIXTY people.

We were early 20s. If I had known that at the time I would’ve never dated him; it was one of many red flags and he was an alcoholic narcissist

working-girl- · 2021-04-11T03:05:18+00:00

I didn’t in my pickme days but now I do. I also don’t want to worry about stds and will have them tested before I even do anything with them.

I also would add to the list men that have he threesomes. Or get rough with me like in movies when they push you hard against the wall.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-04-11T03:47:48+00:00

Guys that think “game” is getting as many women as possible, are so disgusting. They will rack up like 20,50, 100 bodies and then brag to you about it like it’s a good thing. Then when you tell them “oh three”, why should I be with someone that’s been with so many? Hell no I actually respect myself. Herpes is for life

witchingsauce · 2021-04-11T03:52:54+00:00

All.the.time. If someone wants that community dick they can have it. Not me.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-04-11T03:46:05+00:00

As soon as the mention anal I block. Even if they act like it doesn't matter in the beginning, they will keep pushing boundaries every time you fuck them. They might be nice before the first time but after that the mask comes off

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-04-11T04:10:59+00:00

Yes. Any mention of threesomes, anal, bdsm, or ddlg are a big no from me and I have rejected men for all of these at least once. I would also not be with someone that has paid for a prostitute or had a one night stand, but I've surprisingly never met anyone that has admitted to this lol

2021-04-11T03:43:57+00:00

Yes. A man admitted he visited prostitutes. But that's it.

But as one of the other commenters pointed out below and it needs repeating so we bore it into our heads-we don't have to have a reason to reject a man other than we don't want to, we don't want him or both.

Aocwannabe · 2021-04-11T03:15:51+00:00

I don’t want or need to know the body count of the man I’m with...but I can pick up pretty easily when men are promiscuous. It’s a pattern of behaviors and you are wise to vet for a partner that recognizes that it’s not a great way to live.

2021-04-11T05:29:37+00:00

Not specifically for sexual history, but yes for sexual behaviors. Such as not getting tested, complaining about condoms, or claiming to have a "fetish" for blow jobs 🙄

rereddit852 · 2021-04-11T05:38:39+00:00

I have the power to reject a man for any reason.

Maybe he talked about sex on the first date, maybe I can tell he’s lying by the way he sits or gets nervous and shifty, maybe he is into 3somes and I don’t want that, maybe he like facials.

Dating is collecting data. I don’t make a scene and walk walk away then and there Infact often times my ability to listen and be quite it truth serum and makes a man tell on himself.

The key point is get good at asking the right questions and listening.

thegenuinedarkfly · 2021-04-11T06:04:46+00:00

A man wouldn’t consider you as a serious partner if he thought for one moment you’d been “around”. No one wants a man slut. They also tend to stay that way so likely to cheat or want an open relationship after you’ve had their kids. Ew. Move on.

2021-04-11T13:58:36+00:00

I dont think its irrational at all. You can reject them for any reason, or no reason at all.

Personally speaking, I'd reject a guy if he ever had a threesome. I dont care if it was one time in college or if he regretted it or whatever. I immediately label him a "coomer".

It doesn't matter if its "in the past". Your decisions say a lot about your character. Sexual history is important. Not necessarily number imo but the type of act.

purasangria · 2021-04-11T03:57:07+00:00

If a man has dated skeevy women in the past, or talks about how another woman was in bed, I dump him. I don't want to hear it. He has poor judgement. He's a liability.

deudeo · 2021-04-11T14:41:44+00:00

Women get nothing but pain from anal, so a guy being into that tells me he’s pornsick and will not give a shit about me in bed.

The_Pyramidion · 2021-04-11T06:04:24+00:00

I honestly don't understand why scrotes will always brag to me at some point how they are "promiscuous when not in a ltr" or some variation thereof. Like, congrats, here's your block.

2021-04-11T03:32:57+00:00

I’m not picky about how many he has dated (ok, a very large number is a red flag) but I decline even regular friend requests if they mention bdsm on their profile. If they think abusing women is okay, I don’t want them in my life at all.

Having 19 exes is a red flag. Is he 20 and going through a new relationship every other week? Is he 40 and has had a relationship for a year 20 times, and managed to not once make it work? Either way, he’s the common denominator of the breakups. The way I see it, if he wasn’t happy with 19 others, he won’t be happy with you either. So I would say it is indeed normal and rational, especially with the risk of stds.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-04-11T14:18:30+00:00

I get turned off by 50+ numbers and see it as a red flag. Just my personal opinion.

barbedwiredaisycrown · 2021-04-11T13:53:35+00:00

I assume if his sexual history is questionable he won't be honest about it. I agree with the other commenters saying you can pick up their promiscuity.

2021-04-11T14:25:38+00:00

Absolutely. Basic sexual respect is the bare minimum.

He needs to respect his own mental and behavioral health.

Peak_Tree · 2021-04-11T15:32:24+00:00

I don't know how to vet for promiscuity tbh. I just vet by behaviors, pornified preferences, ANY kind of complaining about condoms, refusal to testing, boundary pushing, etc...

Also. Just testing before getting sexual is not enough, there's a window of several months is which you can test negative being positive. In my country you can test yourself free on your health care provider twice per year. I BEG those of you that can do it in America (I know it's not all) to keep testing yourselves regularly as long as you are sexually active.

throwRAonlyFriendz · 2021-04-11T16:05:39+00:00

Scrote is used goods.

AntiqueGhost13 · 2021-04-11T16:43:45+00:00

The way men speak about prior partners is very telling imo. If they boast about how extensive their history is or make rude remarks about past female partners... huge red flag and turn off. One thing I don't tolerate in anyone, including male friends, is telling embarrassing stories about women just to get a laugh out of their audience, at the expense of someone else during a vulnerable moment. It's tacky and disrespectful.

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-04-11T04:14:25+00:00

I do so 🤷‍♀️

throwRAonlyFriendz · 2021-04-11T15:47:57+00:00

I'm not a notch on the bedpost. Yup, I reject man sluts / users or whatever the current term would be.

pikkpie · 2021-04-11T20:20:40+00:00

I do that a lot. I am not even friends with a guy who sleeps around. Men like that have questionable morals and they most likely see women as objects. Also, they may have herpes. Ew.

SnooEagles9138 · 2021-04-11T17:04:06+00:00

Yeah, absolutely. Womanizer will never be happy in a mono relationship. Their egos and dopamine receptors are already damaged. This is a red flag to me.

charliefoxyfeet · 2021-04-12T06:11:55+00:00

When I met my now fiancé, I was just barely starting to understand the FDS mindset so I was still a pick me in SO many ways.

I am mortified to say that I encouraged us having anal even though he never mentioned it. I was so used to my porn sick ex boyfriends constant demands for “kinky” sex, that I thought it was the only way to make him wild about me.

He did it, I think, because it’s what he thought I wanted, and then he never mentioned it or tried it again. I remember thinking it was so “odd” that he wasn’t into “kinks” and never tried to get me to do anything out of the usual.

Thank god he isn’t and wasn’t a deranged pervert, and thank god I realized how delusional I was.

New_Article7411 · 2021-04-11T06:09:02+00:00

"not as impressive"? You don't have to do anything for a man to enjoy himself in bed. Nothing at all. I've heard men comparing having sex with someone they love as a "turkey dinner", and sex with randoms as "junk food". Edit - junk food being worse, if that wasn't clear.

onefoulowl · 2021-04-11T20:40:10+00:00

No, but I honestly should have when he said he had been in an open relationship in the past. He seemed high value and treated me very nicely at first but as soon as we had sex after two months of dating he started hinting at the fact he was 'kinky'. I asked him what he was into but he wouldn't tell me just kept making weird hints about his kinkiness and asking me was I was into. It made me uncomfortable and I kind of shrugged it off because I felt it was a bit early to discuss that sort of stuff. He broke up/ discarded me soon without explanation, said he wanted to stay friends then slowly ghosted me. There were other red flags, but men who are not satisfied with a monogamous committed relationship usually have psychological issues.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-04-12T20:42:33+00:00

Absolutely.

I had a guy in a friend group of coworkers ask me out. The problem is, he dated one of my coworkers and I don't date my friends' exes. I also don't date coworkers or friends, but he tried it.

I politely declined. I could never shit where I eat OR disrespect my coworker & friend like that.

2021-04-11T23:53:05+00:00

We always have a right to say no.

Sexual history that I would say no to:

-porn user/porn addict

-excessive age gap relationships

-pornstar

-BDSM participant

-threesome

-open relationship

-ED

-obviously an sex offender is a no

All Danger Signs

2021-04-12T18:22:43+00:00

My last boyfriend had 24 women before he got to me. He had to tell me about every one of them. You're not wrong - men who have a high body count are incredibly insecure or have attachment issues.

sassenachpants · 2021-04-12T00:29:12+00:00

No, but in retrospect I should have:

Overlapping partners, no relationships over a year, probably 10 different partners in the year preceding me. Daughter told me he never brought anyone home before me. I should’ve run.

2021-04-12T01:01:12+00:00

I do if I think it involves their character. Good people don't get pleasure from hurting or objectifying others. I wouldn't date someone who was a John, or hurt anyone in bed, etc. I don't really care about the number of people they've slept with, but an absurd number is an orange flag to me, I would keep an eye out for other things.

skyerippa · 2021-04-12T03:52:32+00:00

No I never have in the past. I thought if you loved someone you looked past all their faults.

I definitely will in the future

2021-04-14T03:24:07+00:00

I rejected men who refused to get tested or have never been trsted before, if that counts.

I rejected everyone who boasted about their sexual history. It's an instant turn off when he gives off the player vibes. Every man who speaks about the (un)importantness of penis size for sex gives me the ick. I've never sleped with a men who brings that up, let alone in casual conversations. It's not normal to cross this boundary, they were all porn sick. So I it wouldn't work even if I were attracted to them. 🤷‍♀

Title	Have you ever rejected a man because of his sexual history?
Author	throwRAonlyFriendz
Upvotes	250
Comments	77
Date	April 11, 2021 2:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/moiaz7/have_you_ever_rejected_a_man_because_of_his/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/have-you-ever-rejected-a-man-because-of-his-sexual.1189075 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189075

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