Always be extremely mindful about any comments, remarks, opinions, judgements or criticism from a man about how YOU spend YOUR money!

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Pasdepromesses · 2021-03-22T23:33:00+00:00

An ex asked me who gave me my diamond earrings. He got really jealous when I wore them and wouldn’t believe I bought them myself?! Should have seen it as a red flag immediately.

He was really rich but turned out to be stingy with me. Tried to use money to control me, and was really bummed out when it didn’t work.

wagonwheel_ · 2021-03-23T01:58:18+00:00

This is SO TRUE OMG

My ex husband did not like that I wanted a (USED) Mini Cooper- my dream car- when I got my first job out of law school. But I got it anyway.

Whenever my mom would give me gifts to celebrate my accomplishments, he would make a comment about how my “closet gets a little tighter every time you see your mom.” But guess who made me go 50/50 while I was still in school?

AFTER he put a ring on my finger I asked him to help me with my bar exam fees and he paid the living expenses for three months while I studied. This was his decision, I could have gone home to my parents for free. When I finally left him for reasons unrelated, he had the audacity to ask my parents to REPAY HIM for SUPPORTING HIS WIFE for three months.

He is 40 years old.

Stay away from cheap men.

Raquel22222 · 2021-03-23T01:45:41+00:00

Don’t forget making fun that we DONT spend our money? My car is 10 years old and paid off and I have ample spending money every month. He filed for bankruptcy about 5 years ago and went and bought 2 expensive cars recently. My ex called me a tight wad that I didn’t want to live paycheck to paycheck like he does

purasangria · 2021-03-23T02:08:56+00:00

I dump any man who complains about money around me. My last boyfriend complained about the amount of money he spent -- on himself -- when he asked me to help him shop for a new wardrobe. And he literally made a million bucks a year. He was a cheap asshole.

I decided nope, never again. If you have a scarcity mentality about money, you can't be part of my world.

TheFinalGirl_21 · 2021-03-23T02:30:10+00:00

Whenever a man verbalizes that something I enjoy or have experienced independent of him is “expensive”, that’s always my cue to drop him. I read somewhere that they do that to tamper down our expectations. Because our impulse is to seem as low maintenance and inexpensive to court as possible.

MismatchedEyeliner · 2021-03-22T23:10:52+00:00

Holy crap yes!

If he's great on every other level, but tries to police your spending of your own money, I guarantee you that he is hiding a 50/50 personality, and he's about to start assigning a dollar value to everything he does for you, while discounting the value of everything you do for him.

"It's good that you cook dinner for my visiting parents and handle all the clean up because I spent $30 on ingredients" and "I paid for half the cleaning supplies for you to clean, I don't know why you think I should also take out the trash".

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-23T00:43:49+00:00

And don’t date men who have a battle station.

foxorhedgehog · 2021-03-23T02:10:49+00:00

Reminds me of my ex husband. He was always thinking of things he wanted me to buy him.

IndividualRoutine661 · 2021-03-22T23:02:33+00:00

This 💯

Definitely one of the early red flags of scrotery

aellope · 2021-03-23T04:15:18+00:00

Don't forget "who are you trying to impress?" Because we can't have nice things for ourselves. 🙄 We have to be either trying to impress someone, or we have caught the interest of another man. Or they're so insecure that they can't treat us better than we treat ourselves. It all boils down to insecure men who want to put in the bare minimum but it's still supposed to wow us somehow. They want to lower the bar so that their "slightly more interested than not interested at all" attitude impresses us.

222-much · 2021-03-23T06:11:38+00:00

I frequently buy myself treats (jewelry, purses, clothing, etc.) because I work hard and feel that I deserve it. I wouldn't tolerate being with a man who would judge me for it, because he likely would never treat me as well as I treat myself!

Risoa · 2021-03-23T11:08:40+00:00

This is so true. I once spent $11 on a organic juice on a trip and my ex commented on how expensive it was...multiple times. It was a fucking juice. I couldn't believe how butt hurt he was over it. It was MY money too, it's not like he bought it. He also complained about the price of a banana at the airport when I was looking to buy one to have a healthy snack. My parents were with us and my mom offered to buy it for me, not because I couldn't spend my own money and get it, but because I'm sure she was just as annoyed as I was with his unnecessary comments. He was incredibly overweight and was one of those guys that talked about his salary like he was god gifts to earth because of it (we made around the same amount). The guy was a complete clown.

2021-03-23T10:46:09+00:00

Urgh, my mums LV husband is like this, he makes 6 figures, in the north of England, so basically he’s a millionaire by living standards, but he’s tighter than a ducks arse, honestly, he’d shit diamonds if he ate coal.

Anyway, he has the audacity to police my mums spending of her own money, so she has to sneak things in to the house, and make out a new top is years old. A few years ago they almost got a divorce because he discovered she had a credit account with a clothes company. I was gutted when they worked it out.

He struck it lucky when he met her because my dad was literal negative value, so in comparison he walked on water.

RecordingImportant94 · 2021-03-23T11:28:45+00:00

My ex would berate me for spending money I had earned on stuff for our child or our home which benefitted all of us. God forbid I bought anything at all for myself, then he would really lay into me. All this despite the fact he earned 4 times what I did, yet I was covering all our living expenses after he spent his money on weed/video games/pay per view boxing/speeding and parking fines, and I’d have to sell the nice bags and clothes I’d bought before I met him to stop us going into debt each month. He even used to criticise how much tea I drank because he resented me buying ‘so much’ milk or tea bags. He knew at one point I’d been saving a little each month to buy something and called me when I was at my second job and lied that we needed to pay some bill so that I’d send him the savings to cover it - he spent it on a night out with his mates. So glad I’m free, now I can actually budget and treat myself and my daughter without guilt or stress.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-03-23T08:35:54+00:00

I wouldn't even tolerate that from a friend, how I spend my money is my business.

InaneObservations · 2021-03-23T15:52:11+00:00

A boyfriend who talks shit about how you spend your own money is a husband who won't let you have any.

UnstrirringCoffee · 2021-03-23T11:15:13+00:00

What if your are critical of his spendings? This was with an ex, pre-FDS. He spend over a hundred bucks on lottery tickets. I felt like it was such a waste of money and I let him know. In hind-sight I probably should have broken it off already.

SolunaJune · 2021-03-23T16:09:42+00:00

Male relatives can be like this too. Queue my story:

I bought a semi-used car in 2018. It was only a year old, low miles, great shape, good price. I researched what I wanted and what would fit my finances. I am a capable fucking adult.

My older brother has a reputation in our family for giving unwanted opinions, and they're almost never nice. He thinks he is smarter than everyone else and he knows best. It took a week for me to even tell him I bought a car. He was nonchalant about it, strangely. But lo and behold, 2 weeks later, I get a 3 long paragraph email from him about how I made a poor decision, I bought "too much car", and that I should have consulted him before I made any decisions about anything. He even told me that I should talk to him first before I make any future decisions. He was espousing why he was so smart, and the all the ways he was, and that I was so stupid with my decision(s).

It was unfucking called for and horrifically insulting. He was always misogynistic growing up and already had an "incel" attitude long before it was a thing. He tried to get me to date his friend simply because his friend liked me and he couldn't fathom that I didn't like the guy (who was morbidly obese and spoke like a 5 year old and had worse interpersonal skills to boot.)

Yes, I replied to his email with one sentence putting him in his place. My own mother did not understand why what he did was uncalled for, "he just cares for you" she said. That's not caring, that's called "controlling." I had to explain it to her.

He was just jealous because he was driving a 10 year old rusted honda civic and he always was in a competition with me since we were small children. Everything is a competition with him. Everything.

Just....the audacity.

angry_opossum_lady · 2021-03-23T08:53:58+00:00

That's sooo true!

Looking back every man I've dated had a financial situation that was waaay worse than mine or my female friends... and when they complained and I tried to be helpful they got mad and told me I wouldn't understand since my parents would pay for everything and I didn't have a "real job" (The audacity to make up lies to make themselves feel better...).

Even better when they told me I shouldn't spend so much on skincare products or going out with friends... oh really?! I shouldn't spend money I have on things I like, but you go and buy yourself that new playstation while struggling to even make rent and then complain about how broke you are 🤷‍♀️

fds_account58 · 2021-03-23T14:51:38+00:00

I expect my boyfriend to judge me because it’s such a trope and I have a bad habit of “joking” about that (I know I know). My boyfriend constantly tells me he thinks I am very good with money and that he never questions my spending at all. He’s more HV than I am sometimes.

Title	Always be extremely mindful about any comments, remarks, opinions, judgements or criticism from a man about how YOU spend YOUR money!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	280
Comments	52
Date	March 22, 2021 9:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mayrbz/always_be_extremely_mindful_about_any_comments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/always-be-extremely-mindful-about-any-comments.1189793 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189793

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