So apparently watching porn to get turned on before having sex with your partner is normal... And the comments are not even by men.. 🤢

AutoModerator · 2021-03-21T12:49:05+00:00

[1] - We Just Launched a Website: wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com. Click here for registration information. Please also join our Twitter and Instagram Pages for updates!
[2] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[3] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[4] - PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION from images (Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc). Failure to remove ID info will result in a 1-2 day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban.
[5] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Lady_Wyatt · 2021-03-21T13:40:04+00:00

It's sad that the greatest foreplay (and lie) women have been taught to get turned on is to watch porn. Not to be teased, kissed or loved by their partner but to pop up a video and watch another woman have sex with a man.

When I was younger, I didn't watch porn. I read romance books and gushed over the sweet, loving, tender moments a couple would have before sex. I wanted that in my life too, as a young girl who never had a relationship or knew what love was.

As I grew older and started dating and getting porn threw at me from every direction, I began to think my idea of sex and foreplay was wrong. Women in porn were just expected to have sex without...stimulation. Without touch. Without worrying if they were wet enough or ready or anything. It messed me up, TBH. The first time I had sex, the guy spit inside me to use it as lube and didn't even care if I was turned on before he started jackhammering. I pretended it was great even though it hurt so much and I didn't cum. I was programmed to think that you didn't need foreplay, that sex was like what I saw in porn and since other women enjoyed it, why not me? So I didn't say anything. I wondered what was wrong with me for the longest time when the truth was that there was nothing wrong with me for not liking sex with a man who didn't know how to have sex and who watched too much porn.

I haven't had sex since then because I choose to be celibate.

Porn isn't foreplay and having "porn-like" sex is damaging and it's sad to see so many women think it's empowering to embrace that way of thinking.

letsberealforamoment · 2021-03-21T13:46:22+00:00

Statistically speaking, these women are in relationships with LVM. Which means lousy sex, acting like manchildren, vidya games, and all assortments of LVM behavior. These women arent enlightened enough to ask the hard question of "why am i not attracted to him?:

If you dont like or respect the man you are with...and/or that man is a selfish, lousy lover, then you wont have the desire to have sex with him. If you dont feel emotionally or physcially safe with him, you wont have the desire to sleep with him.

However, coming to that realization requires sweeping away a lot of denial and self blame and the the whole RElatioNSHIps R HarD WoRk malarkey.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-03-21T14:07:03+00:00

[deleted]

ThrowRA_lantern · 2021-03-21T14:24:45+00:00

what happened to being able to get into a “sexy headspace” simply because you’re with your partner that you are supposed to be attracted to? or simply because they’ve done something that turns you on?

LevellingUpTime · 2021-03-21T13:14:21+00:00

Imagine not getting turned on by your own partner or thoughts of having sex with your partner, and then forcing yourself into a state of arousal by watching other people - possibly trafficked women - having sex.

So embarrassing

Foreplay starts long before intercourse, so if you're not turned on by the time he wants PIV (LVM are notorious for not caring if a woman is turned on) then don't have sex with him until he can at least arouse you without porn ffs

Hhjjuuy · 2021-03-21T13:35:09+00:00

If fooling around with your partner feels like too much pressure why are you even having sex with them?

CowgirlMolly · 2021-03-21T15:26:51+00:00

If you have to use porn to get aroused for your partner, you are not attracted to him.

If he has to use porn to get it up for you, he is not attracted to you.

If you can’t get aroused AT ALL without porn, you need to abstain from porn and get therapy.

Lady_Wyatt · 2021-03-21T13:10:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Mysterious_Midnight7 · 2021-03-21T13:29:09+00:00

It's telling that people think porn is the solution for so many things

Mcccy · 2021-03-21T14:31:32+00:00

Sis if you aren't turned on by your partner do them a favour and break tf up with them 🧍🏼‍♀️

havingababypenguin · 2021-03-21T13:24:43+00:00

I read "porn" is that what these women are referring to? After I became a mom it was hard to transition into sexy time. Reading dirty novels help. Because like hours? Wtf? Who has time for that?

2021-03-21T14:54:32+00:00

The worst thing to happen to women is brainwashing them into believing that being treated like an inanimate fleshlight is the best they can do in a relationship. Jesus help us.

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-03-21T14:31:15+00:00

How broken down do you have to be to BYO foreplay?

Lady_Wyatt · 2021-03-21T13:38:49+00:00

And saying "I already know it would hurt his feelings", but doing it anyway.. wow.. classy.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-03-21T13:57:51+00:00

Oh please. These women are kidding themselves. They aren't even remotely attracted to their partners. Bypassing and suppressing there own emotions and intuition. And Protek his fragile widdle feewingz by not letting him know you are watching porn to get in the mood while by and large mens rights to extremely degrading porn and indulging in routine fappathons are completely normalized and totally out of bounds to ever have ANY issue with. What a fucking joke

a_room_of_my_own3 · 2021-03-21T15:07:28+00:00

Wow, nothing like watching trafficked or otherwise coerced women being degraded on video to get you in the *sexy headspace*. Facepalm.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2021-03-21T14:19:31+00:00

tbh i’ve lost faith in pretty much every subreddit besides this one and a few others. Sometimes I get disillusioned and perceive majority of subreddits as a circle j*rk of incredibly deluded thinking.

bizzybumblebee · 2021-03-21T13:46:37+00:00

sad sad sad

pinkcityscape · 2021-03-21T13:51:36+00:00

If you need to porn just to get into a ‘headspace’ of wanting to be intimate with your partner you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with them idk

2021-03-21T13:47:21+00:00

wtf... if your partner can't get you turned on, you should fucking run. like why would you still be with someone you don't desire and need to more or less force yourself to get in the "mindset" for??

then again, i'm grey ace and know this isn't happening for me either way. but that's just one more reason i don't get why allo folks deal with that crap.

Gambit12345 · 2021-03-21T14:16:43+00:00

I am so guilty of this. With my ex pre fds he’d sometimes pull up porn hub when he wanted sex. He’d ask me to find a video. I never understood why he put the onus on me to find one. But he was always tight lipped about what porn he watched or whether he watched at all alone. He was also notoriously bad at foreplay: no flirting, no kissing at all, barely any touching. Just here’s some porn, let’s fuck. I think it was his lazy way or trying to get me horny because I was never aching to jump his bones. And in 5 years he only made me come a handful of times. I was always making myself come because he was a jackhammer who couldn’t grasp the idea of Clit stimulation so it felt like masturbation. Now it makes sense why I was never horny for him!

millennialpink2000 · 2021-03-21T17:38:56+00:00

This screams 'women who felt the ick years ago but need a practical workaround because their partners don't care to bother with them'

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-03-21T18:44:05+00:00

If I felt like I don't wanna have sex, I wouldn't have sex. Why do people force themselves?

nymira-1 · 2021-03-21T14:33:38+00:00

Hate to be negative but we will never be free. They got us bad I fear

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-03-21T18:10:50+00:00

I would strongly suspect these women are turned off or repulsed by their partners.

blackwidowe · 2021-03-21T16:46:30+00:00

It just baffles me to think I'm surrounded by people like that.

nieces-pieces · 2021-03-21T22:11:10+00:00

Imagine getting turned on because you genuinely like someone and they’re good to you

WestAtmosphere · 2021-03-21T19:25:28+00:00

Engaging in this behaviour is making their headspace WORSE. What don't they get, they are reliant because they created that reliance. It only get's worse and more severe.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-21T19:55:23+00:00

This is just wrong for so many reasons. I can't stand how people talk about sex these days. To me, sex is about intimacy. Like souls meeting and loving, and the physical manifestation of that can be sex. To watch porn does not bring intimacy since there is no connection. Just doesn't make sense, and I feel bad for women who get gaslit into pleasing their partners this way.

Title	So apparently watching porn to get turned on before having sex with your partner is normal... And the comments are not even by men.. 🤢
Author	Lady_Wyatt
Upvotes	245
Comments	71
Date	March 21, 2021 12:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m9vzxc/so_apparently_watching_porn_to_get_turned_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/so-apparently-watching-porn-to-get-turned-on.1190104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190104

Comments