Is there too much pressure on men to enter romantic relationships?

Anxious_Adult123 · 2023-04-23T03:32:17+00:00

No I don't think there is pressure to enter romantic relationship.

Rather there is pressure, or rather a distorted and unhealthy sense of glory in how many woman you have slept with. In other words, playboys and "chickmagnets" are perceived as something heroic in many areas. Yes, it does signify a guys has enough game to attract a lot of girls they are intrested in, but it automatically signifies virgin men or men with low count (even if it's voluntary) as incompetent (with respect to dating standards).

throwaway164_3 · 2023-04-23T03:09:03+00:00

I think men can love themselves all they want but it won’t help them get into a relationship or get laid.

Flirting with the opposite sex and getting into relationships is an acquired skill, that can be improved with practice and effort

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-04-23T03:03:00+00:00

No I'd say there's more pressure on men to get into non commital situationships than relationships these days.

Being romantic is kind of dead now, I think. There aren't many good romance movies coming out for example. 15 years ago there was way more romance in popular culture. Now it seems like everything is about trying to be a fuq boi.

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-23T02:48:32+00:00

Unfortunately, society conditions men to value their self-worth on how many dates they can pull.

Can you please show me where this happens? I spent decades in the military, and anyone who has served will tell you about the amount of time you spend waiting around for command to unfuck itself, and to pass the time we talk.

I have listened to thousands of perspectives on countless topics in a hypermasculine environment. I am not joking when I say that this shit NEVER came up. It would be a really fucking weird thing to do, just start speculating on how much another man is fucking.

Where are you getting this stuff?

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-04-23T03:18:24+00:00

I think there is biological pressure on men to get sex yes, I love being a guy, I love the testosterone and the horniness and all that, we're wired that way, societyay elaborate on it but a lot of that pressure comes from within

Asriel-SIU · 2023-04-23T10:41:37+00:00

I don't know about other dudes, but I have never been in a relationship. Never been that social too. From my (arguably isolationist) perspective, there is absolutely no pressure on men to get with a girlfriend.

Sometimes my mother tells me to find a girlfriend, but that topic just disappears when I rebuke her. I mean, I'm 25, I have never been a seducer, I won't start now lol.

What I will say is that I honestly believe that most single men would be
better off pursuing self-improvement and self-care instead of spending
their time dating and/or trying to get laid.

Self-improvement and self-care are good ideas but they're not guaranteed to give a man a self-esteem boost. There is no guaranteed way, I think. But I agree that the priority should be to love yourself, or at least, to try to love yourself.

Unfortunately, society conditions men to value their self-worth on how many dates they can pull.

True. Between males doing it to each other to gloat as part of intrasexual competition, women who hate and shun late virgins, and society putting porn and romance everywhere, if you can't get laid or be in a relationship, you feel like you're missing something, and that hits at your self-esteem too.

One fundamental truth I believe is this: you can't give your heart to someone else until you love yourself first. I don't think men love themselves enough right now.

That's one tenet I act by. I don't love myself honestly. So I don't bother trying to date either. At some point, even thinking about seriously dating ended up in a negative, as a result of a positive/negative calculus.

StarTrippinn · 2023-04-23T04:47:55+00:00

I think that "fundamental truth" just isn't accurate. You can love someone else without loving yourself. Plenty of people do it all the time.

A more accurate statement should be something like, you cant have a healthy relationship if you don't or dont know how to set boundaries and know what you want, or at least willing to learn what you want. Part of that natural progression is dating, being in relationships, and experiencing things for self.

Secondly, you write "men" but you really mean certain kinds of men. I dont think men in general feel a pressure to define their success by their ability enter into romantic relationships.

I think certain men who haven't been able to have successful dating experiences feel a pressure to have them.

If men do feel pressure to be in romantic relationships, they would probably be in them but anyone who is in the dating scene knows that its very transactional.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-04-23T07:18:41+00:00

Not really. As an MGTOW I don't feel no pressure. I'm pretty much invisible which is how I like things tbh.

amakusa360 · 2023-04-23T19:08:20+00:00

Yes, absolutely. Too much of men's value is based on how much they service women.

Safinated · 2023-04-23T05:00:03+00:00

It depends on whether they complain about it

If yes, yes

If no, no

just_a_place · 2023-04-23T06:49:46+00:00

Question: Where is this pressure coming from?

"Unfortunately, society conditions men to value their self-worth on how many dates they can pull. "

How? Where is the propaganda coming from? Howcome every time I hear of of these "society says" arguments I never see society saying shit? Where are these messages coming from? Is it some kind of subliminal message that is just going over my head? I never hear any of these "society says" messages. I have never been told by "society" - whatever that means - that my worth is based on how many women I've fucked. So who told you that? Unless we are coming from completely different societies cause mine is mute as fuck and never tells me anything.

Neptune-Jr · 2023-04-23T12:51:34+00:00

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Lovers691 · 2023-04-23T03:30:33+00:00

I don't think it is society just think it is the male sex drive and most men would be find if they can get sex(which they don't pay for) rather than a relationship

TheOrangeGhost · 2023-04-23T06:23:23+00:00

I think there is lot of fake marketing pressure for guys to get girls. I believe this fake pressure creates a get laid at all costs mentally that counterproductively makes it extremely difficult for those guys to to get dates. As an adult guy I could not care less how many girls other guys are getting or how I stack up.

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-04-23T06:56:43+00:00

Yes. From adolescence onward men are taught that validation from women means being high value and attractive. Men seek out the attention from many women and through sex to feel validated. Instead we should acknowledge that everyone has intrinsic value (excluding people who do atrocious things) and encourage men and women to gain confidence and fulfillment from things like their work, family, values, passions, hobbies, faith, friendships, etc etc

For men and women.

Edit: I think I agree with the other posters here that most men are discouraged from finding a wife and are instead taught that being a “f*** boy” or “player” is more validating

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-04-23T11:02:36+00:00

Pulling dates isn't hard really (consistently pulling dimes, sure. But I always used the 4 to 1 rule - four nerdy/fat/goth girls between every dime. If you do that then it's easy to always have horny female company). That said, you're doing it right.... it's just a total time waster worrying about dating. Girls will always be there and they'll always be horny and they get hornier the older they get! Just keep doing you.

JumboJetz · 2023-04-23T13:01:36+00:00

Women spend all day every day on Reddit telling eachother not to date men an they don’t need men.

The woman saying these things of course always has boyfriends herself though.

For men though we never say such things. So yes I do think more men should be encouraged to be alone just because we tell so many women they are better off alone and the math dictates those numbers need to be balanced.

Petyr111 · 2023-04-23T14:10:13+00:00

The only incentive for men is to die virgins. We can't approach or even try to get to know women. Pressure to enter relationships? For sure not.

gymbronyc718 · 2023-04-23T14:43:21+00:00

This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Put aside your happiness and relationships and sex so you can go work on your pension fund. Then when you are 60 and your dick won't work, then pursue relationships. Can't get any dumber than that.

Thucydides00 · 2023-04-24T06:28:50+00:00

If you're romantically and/or sexually unsuccessful as a man, you're definitely seen as a loser or that there's clearly something wrong with you, it's like 80% of our societal worth, possibly more. One of the things I was shocked to realise was how much my social value was based on being in a relationship with a woman when my LTR ended, and I only noticed it when I lost it, especially when you're over 25, you're seen as a bit of a social pariah if you can't get women and especially if none will date you long term.

Boxisteph · 2023-04-24T21:51:53+00:00

There is no pressure at all. It's just most women don't want promiscuous uncoupled sex. So if men want free sex, they'll need a relationship.

They can go to prostitutes if they want.

Title	Is there too much pressure on men to enter romantic relationships?
Author	LeagueSucksLol
Upvotes	18
Comments	75
Date	April 23, 2023 2:45 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12vstwd/is_there_too_much_pressure_on_men_to_enter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-too-much-pressure-on-men-to-enter.1215437 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215437

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