is there such thing as in ''a fair criteria''?

ChadChasingB · 2023-05-01T21:37:09+00:00

All preferences are fair when no one is forced to accept anyone they don't want. At worst your preferences keep you alone.

AngeCruelle · 2023-05-01T23:20:25+00:00

All criteria is fair but all logic can be held to scrutiny. If a woman claims she's attracted to tall men and gives a reason like "tall men make better fathers" then yes that rationale is certainly debatable. If a man says he prefers low n because all high n women make unfit mothers the logic is again debatable.

RadicalQueenBee · 2023-05-01T22:49:55+00:00

No one argues (I hope) that you should date someone you don't want to date. People's issues come when you start shaming people you don't want to date it, which is different to simply having "preferences". If a man doesn't want to date a fat woman for example, or lists that among his criteria in a relevant discussion, that's perfectly fine. If a man calls all fat women landwhales and says nobody should ever like them that's not about his preferences any more.

63daddy · 2023-05-01T22:04:51+00:00

An Econ professor of mine used to say fair is anything two people agree to.

Most societies are hypergamous. While that may seem unfair one could argue it’s perfectly fair because both parties accept this and bought into it. (Assuming it wasn’t an arranged marriage). It’s much the same with biased family law.

The bottom line is we are all free to enter into a relationship and stay in it or not. If you think it’s not fair or not in your best interest then don’t go there. I think beneficial is a more important concept than fair. A relationship isn’t worthwhile if you don’t benefit from it, fair or not.

gate18 · 2023-05-01T22:03:21+00:00

is there such thing as in ''a fair criteria''?

Yes.

Then your description is meaningless

if women only date tall guys and you are short

We know, as a matter of fact, that women aren't robots, hence different women have different criteria. If the women (or women) I am in contact with at any given time have particular criteria that dismiss me, fine. But to say women in general have those criteria, it's not true.

same thing when men decide they only date women with low body count

This is a perfect example. If all men, or if most men care about body count then either no woman would have a high body count or all women with a high body count would end up incels. But for some odd reason this logical inconsistency doesn't seem to matter!

xcheshirecatxx · 2023-05-01T23:31:00+00:00

All individual preferences are fair The problems are - socialized preferences - a lack of balance in the dating power, so people bring less than they ask for

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-05-02T02:38:52+00:00

Fair criteria would be people choosing others based on how good of a person the potential partner is.

No one does that.

For now, people choose others based on culturally determined standards of "who should get sex" that boil down to appearance, mostly.

Which creates a winner take all marketplace on the male side

People who say anything two people agree to is fair don't understand bargaining power and historical and cultural forces.

solstice-sky · 2023-05-01T22:55:56+00:00

You aren’t missing anything besides the entitlement factor. People feel entitled to being seen as attractive by others they think are in their league. For example, men who lie about their height on dating apps. They are [insert random height] but routinely “add two inches to account for shoes” as if THEY OWN ANY PAIR OF SHOES THAT HAVE TWO INCH SOLES. I want everyone here to pull out a ruler and measure all of their shoes and find one pair that has a two inch sole. But they feel entitled to embellishing their attributes to appeal to more people.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-05-01T21:49:03+00:00

Sure life isn't fair. Take the loss and move on. But there is also a question of "are your choices unrealistic, ranging all the way to the possibly pathological?" And if so, is there anything you can do about it? There's also the question of how did your preferences form. Are they innate? Cultural? Something someone told you when you were small and you never bothered to ask yourself if it's true or not? Etc.

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Flightlessbirbz · 2023-05-03T01:04:11+00:00

All preferences are fair because they are just preferences. The problem comes when you are an asshole about it and shame people who don’t fit your preferences, insist others should share your preferences, or complain because you are lonely and claim that others are too picky while having unrealistic expectations yourself.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-01T23:26:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MoldovaImComing · 2023-05-02T09:48:57+00:00

It’s very easy for women to not care about fairness as the current relationship system benefits them at men’s expense to an overwhelming degree. Any area of life where this situation is reversed must be immediately corrected in the pursuit of gender equity however.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-05-01T23:26:28+00:00

Everybody has their own preferences, men and women. The problem nowadays is men are shamed for their preferences. You don't want to date a fat girl? Fatphobic! Don't wanna date a woman who has a slutty past? Slut-shaming! Don't want to date a masculine woman? Insecure! Don't want to date black girls? Racist! You can never win as a man in this day and age.

IrresponsibleFarmer · 2023-05-02T04:02:50+00:00

Yes, this is how free market works.

However in every system there are losers (in economic sense, not personal) who ended up with nothing. They would wish/push for changes that better their prospect (shaming people with certain preferences as shallow, wishing for other system like arranged marriages or celibacy before marriage) but most of the times these are just talks.

At the end of the day even if the method is sound and fair, results can be less than desirable. A lot of people (including me) think that having too many single men with no prospect can have negative effects on society.

DeshaunWalt · 2023-05-01T21:34:25+00:00

For me

I don't date women who plan on making me wait weeks/months for sex

So take the loss and leave since l can replace her with another woman if she decides that criteria

Respect the criteria but am not gonna be part of anyone's vetting process especially when l invest my time,attention,energy etc

If a woman makes me wait after 3/4 dates then am simply leaving since l know there's many women who would give it up before the 3rd date

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-05-01T22:34:08+00:00

it’s up to them to decide the criteria

This is where TRP is most convincing. It’s core tenets, are based in these criteria. Lifting. Social skills. Making bank. All criteria, that directly benefit attractiveness. Whether it’s fair? Is a question of jurisprudence, and jurisdiction. You might be objectively poor in Iran, and have a few wives. Rich in The Bay Area, with no matches. Which is ‘fairer’ to you?

Godspeed and good luck!

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-05-01T23:46:45+00:00

People are allowed to have whatever preferences they want and it’s always fair.

What’s unfair is saying that criticizing someone’s preferences means you’re entitled. Most people probably don’t know what’s good for themselves until their late 20s hence why divorce rates are higher for younger marriages. But divorce is still 50% regardless which means that we should be critical of at least half of what people’s preferences

jay10033 · 2023-05-01T23:49:58+00:00

I could agree with you if it wasn't those same folks establishing those criteria were not actively trying to convince others to have their same criteria.

Happy_Nuclear_End · 2023-05-02T01:49:42+00:00

There's 2 lines of trough:

First one is that we live in a society where peoples lives out each other taxes, so with the government giving handouts for peoples horrible life choices we end up in a system where a fair criteria will never be born.

The second one is that in a society where the government don't subside peoples choices or conditions they're forced to take their choices with future in mind or are forced to deal with the consequences without a third party paying for it. So a fair criteria exists.

UpstairsValue6799 · 2023-05-02T07:10:21+00:00

Fair criteria would be _ history of being abusive and cheating, differing political veiws, different way of relating to sex (special vs recreational activity)

Criteria that reveals insecurity or some kind of incompetence in the person setting those standards -

Height,

Economic status

Bodycount

Education level provided they are comparable ( not asking women to marry Tarzan or men to marry Poccahontas )

GlasgaAccentfurYanks · 2023-05-02T07:46:59+00:00

The criteria is never fair. It is derived from nature we invent conjectures of moral furniture to stand about and around our vacant room haunted by ancient hungers to deny them the precipice of control, to beautify the bare brutal ugly realism of biological programming. What is good, true and beautiful is inherently known.

But, even a poor man can smile if he so chooses.

MistyMaisel · 2023-05-02T17:41:55+00:00

Yes, all criteria is fair provided the person holding it is willing to live with the results of that and provided it isn't like woefully immoral or evil. (Per example, I wouldn't accept pedophilia or bestiality as criteria, but if someone only wants to date virgins, I may criticize their logic, but I would never say it is not fair for them to hold that as criteria in the sense of it being allowed to be that way. I'd tell them if they aren't virgins too, they should probably knock that hypocrisy off. But it is allowed or fair to be a hypocrite).

Enflamed-Pancake · 2023-05-03T09:15:23+00:00

Any criteria is fine - people are permitted whatever standards in dating they want, no one should ever be coerced to change standards that are important to them.

Your standards might keep you single though, depending on what’s available in your dating pool and what you personally bring to the table.

nicoleberry16 · 2023-05-04T02:20:16+00:00

You can't force someone to date you if you don't fit their criteria. So yes, pretty much any criteria is fair.

Title	is there such thing as in ''a fair criteria''?
Author	Lon-e-ly
Upvotes	33
Comments	99
Date	May 1, 2023 9:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1351ua6/is_there_such_thing_as_in_a_fair_criteria/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-such-thing-as-in-a-fair-criteria.1217767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217767

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