Should I pick out his clothes?

Morphon · 2023-07-18T15:32:48+00:00

Married man here.... Requests like this are almost certainly genuine. He wants to make a good impression on your family because he values you. Give him helpful advice - he will appreciate it.

Deliaallmylife · 2023-07-18T15:56:05+00:00

Laura Doyle who says don't give him advice even if he asks for it

Remember that LD was written for women who found themselves to be the ones controlling the relationship. When you are trying to completely change your own habits and his responses to you, then it makes a lot of sense to step waaaaaaaay back and then recalibrate. It's like a detox. You are just meeting him and vetting him. You don't need to detox. He asked you to pick so pick and see how it works out. If it feels controlling or he starts to act submissive THEN you course correct OR decide that this isn't the relationship/man that you want. (But I'd be shocked if this ends up as any thing more than you helping him to make a good impression).

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-07-18T17:10:04+00:00

"Should I fulfill my boyfriend's simple request, or try to control what I think he 'should' do and insist he do it himself?"

trumpasaurus_erectus · 2023-07-18T16:38:53+00:00

I've been married for almost 16 years. Since I know I don't have any sense of fashion, I ask my wife if an outfit I have planned for some special occasion is appropriate and she'll give me brutally honest opinions. If you're concerned about it, you can try to sort of answer it without answering it. Instead of "wear X pants and Y shirt" you could try something like, "business casual is the best style for this event." Generally though, if a man is asking your advice, he probably genuinely wants it.

puddingbike · 2023-07-18T18:34:35+00:00

Should I listen to his request

YES! 100%. Don't overthink this. Men need women for advice with fashion and haircuts.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2023-07-18T15:32:08+00:00

I wouldn’t pick out his clothes. I really just wouldn’t set that precedent. This sets it up so that if he makes a bad impression or something happens, it is partially on you because you didn’t “pick the right outfit for him”.

This isn’t about making him feel controlled or not controlled… it’s about setting the precedent of you carrying ALL the emotional/practical labor in your relationship, to the point that he won’t even take responsibility for his clothes for an important event. This is a wifey-level ask, from a boyfriend who hasn’t met your parents. He needs to carry his own weight at this point in the relationship while you are still vetting…

If he lacks confidence to pick out his clothes, take it as a yellow flag in my opinion. It is a weird ask. A more acceptable ask would have been “hey, we are having dinner with your parents next week… I was thinking of wearing my blue button down and tan khakis. Do you think that would be appropriate?”

If he needs help, comes from a significantly different background than your family (blue collar to white collar or vice versa), or doesn’t feel comfortable with fashion etc, I would tell him the dress code and the “formula” which would be acceptable (aka, “business smart, so something like dark jeans, button up, and nice shoes, but no coat or tie”). But don’t pick out his outfits!

TheBunk_TB · 2023-07-18T16:36:14+00:00

He requested. Take it as a sign

sandwichandtortas · 2023-07-18T18:31:56+00:00

There are certain topics that traditionally men will rely on women because we're the "experts", and fashion is definitely one of them. (Hair styling, skincare, over the counter medication, laundry, food preservation are others.)

Think of it as a CEO of a company and a plant engineer: the CEO is the boss, but he beeds to ask and rely on the knowledge of the subordinate that in certain aspects know more about a subject.

I find what your boyfriend is doing is very considerate, as he wants to make a good impression and you know your family better than him, so hell look best if you choose the outfit.

lady_marm · 2023-07-18T14:59:57+00:00

Considering he asked you to Pick out the clothes, I think you're OK to do so. If yous still feel uncomfortable or nervous about it, you can choose a few different items/outfits and present them to him so that he can choose which one he'd rather wear. That way you make a suggestion while he still makes the final decision.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2023-07-18T15:40:56+00:00

I think it really depends! Does he usually dress well and appropriately for the occasion, or does he always want to wear the same thing and doesn’t really care what he looks like? Is there a reason why he is asking for your help with this specifically? I don’t think that doing as he asks, helping him pick out an outfit, is anywhere near controlling him. He wants your input, I think it would be weird to deny him that.

tequilathehun · 2023-07-18T17:24:51+00:00

I wouldn't do it all the time or anything, but he values your input here and cares enough to make a good impression. You two are partners, I don't see an issue with it.

Imaskinnybitchyall · 2023-07-18T18:51:23+00:00

Agree that LD is not a bible and there will be exceptions to every rule.

He values your opinion about his clothing. So, do as he asks. He gave you a task.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-07-18T19:13:38+00:00

He asked - what’s the issue?

kitterkatty · 2023-07-19T00:06:57+00:00

Make it simple and quick, give three options and let him choose which one he likes best. Teamwork. 👍🏼

vintagegirlgame · 2023-07-18T20:10:01+00:00

Laura Doyle’s advice still stands. “Whatever you think” are the magic words that show you trust him to make good decisions, even in areas where you may be the “expert.” Picking out outfits is a mothering type behavior and even if he asks it’s a slippery slope that sets a precedent. If anything you could give a overall compliment to his style as extra encouragement.

Flat_Shower · 2023-07-18T14:22:08+00:00

If he asked you to pick out his clothes, that was a command from your captain to his first mate. He’s demanding your knowledge and skills. “You look so handsome and strong in your blue polo and khaki’s”

AutoModerator · 2023-07-18T14:09:41+00:00

Title: Should I pick out his clothes?

Full text: Next weekend my bf is meeting my parents. We will meet at a laid back public event. My bf asked me to pick out his clothes that day for a good impression. Should I listen to his request and risk making him feel controlled, or should I follow Laura Doyle who says don't give him advice even if he asks for it?

Thanks.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Sankdamoney · 2023-07-18T21:10:13+00:00

It’s really sweet he asked you, it means he cares what your family thinks, so he’s serious. Pick them out together, make it a fun evening.

Title	Should I pick out his clothes?
Author	flower_power_g1rl
Upvotes	22
Comments	43
Date	July 18, 2023 2:09 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/152zj19/should_i_pick_out_his_clothes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-i-pick-out-his-clothes.1225566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225566

Comments