Are woman generally more needy than men?

Bikerbats · 2023-07-19T19:22:10+00:00

Dude, if this sub hasn't proven to you that men are by far needier, then I don't know what it will take to open your eyes.

arrgobon32 · 2023-07-19T18:21:39+00:00

Men can ask those questions too…also I have no ideas where the worm question comes from. Is that a meme that I missed out on?

januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-19T18:48:17+00:00

Men generally expect a lot more of their needs to be fulfilled by a partner who cares for them, and indeed even put a higher proportion of their emotional needs in their partner's hands rather than across multiple people, so no.

DoinIt989 · 2023-07-19T19:43:55+00:00

No, men are generally needier. Freaking out about your partner's IG account being "too suggestive", freaking out about your partner going out to a club, telling your partner they can't have friends of the opposite sex are all very "needy" behaviors that are far more common with men.

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-07-19T19:14:13+00:00

I’ve found that men don’t have as intense as emotional relationships with their friends as women do. So they often times put all of their emotional needs onto their significant others. I think to women this can come across needy sometimes. However, both genders can be needy because humans are needy.

IWillKeepYourSecret · 2023-07-20T03:32:53+00:00

This is a question that's very difficult to answer.

"Being needy can be defined as; someone who becomes too attached to another person and depends on them too much for assurance, affection, and attention."

Now, my most recent ex was pretty needy. I wasn't allowed to have my own friends, hobbies and time. I was preparing to go back to uni that year, but he couldn't stop talking about how I should move in with him. When I did, he needed for me to deep clean the house every day, prepare his dinner and watch TV with him from the moment he came home until the moment he went to bed. I studied at night and went to bed late; he didn't want that because it meant I was lazy. He needed me to get a job because he couldn't respect me otherwise.

I had to withdraw my law school application because there weren't enough hours in a week to invest in my own future while catering to his never-ending needs.

This level of neediness is obviously just abusive.

However, both our anecdotes share the same core: insecurity. It's rooted in insecure attachment styles which most often already develop during infancy. Neglect, abuse or any other form of trauma can put a great strain on someone's emotional security.

Women are also more socialized to be expressive.

"Would you love me if I was a worm?" is obviously just a joke, but doing little check-ins from time to time to ask "Do you love me?" doesn't necessarily indicate that someone is needy. Usually, it's just nice to hear the answer, even if it's already obvious.

I suppose another reason for why women appear more needy is because of the roles they have assumed at the start of the relationship. With men being more dominant and women submissive, women often have a more supporting role. They are expected to carry the emotional labor of the relationship, which means she is responsible for keeping their partner emotionally satisfied. However, when her own emotional needs aren't met, the relationship becomes imbalanced. Since most men prefer to not deal with an increasing demand of emotional favors, they tend to stay oblivious to their partner's dissatisfaction.

Thus, she tries to regain balance by sending out bids for connection. The man may call her out for being needy in an attempt to suck it up, which throws the balance off even more, and the two end up playing cat and mouse over affection for an indefinite amount of time.

MistyMaisel · 2023-07-20T04:05:07+00:00

I've only dated men. My experience of this has been largely the men are way more needy, but they express it in ways that gives them plausible deniability. Rather than asking if you would love them as a worm, they declare to you that you would, but in a way that has such big puppy eyes that you can tell they're giving you a chance to deny it because they're kind of worried you wouldn't. They often do the same with the love thing or in more tense moments they'll say I love you in order to hear you say it back to confirm your love. It's still needy, just more disguised.

I've also seen them try to provoke me to jealousy more than I've ever done to them as a confirmation of caring or as going tit for tat for some perceived slight to their position.

I'm not saying of course I'm never needy or something, I honestly think expressing a form of neediness towards your partner can be pretty typical or healthy from time to time especially the closer you are.

I think men are also way more prone to interpreting women as needy in order to protect their ego. Per example, my man acted like I was needy early on in our courtship. We probably would never have got together if he hadn't allowed me to call him a coward who couldn't deal with his feelings or express them and instead pretended I was too much and needy. And I've seen this a lot not just with my man.

Finally, a lot of this isn't neediness, it's seeking a random affirmation. That's not immediately needy behavior. And the men who treat it like it is usually do the worst with women because they're purposefully teaching them that seeking their affection is an annoying and childish behavior. Then they complain about women not being as invested and affectionate or seeking them. What did y'all think would happen if you taught them that any bid for attention, approval, affirmation, or affection is being annoying. They'd keep doing it while you rolled your eyes and acted like they're a pest? Stop shooting yourselves in the foot. If your woman asks do you love her, admit it and show you're glad she cares. If she wants to know if you'd still love her if she ate dirt, say no, but that's cuz you too perfect this way and then give her a snuggle. You might be surprised at the relationship you find yourself in when you don't treat women's desire for attention and approval as annoying.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2023-07-19T19:12:12+00:00

I honestly think it’s the opposite

And we’re mostly just too scared to admit it to ourselves

Zabadoodude · 2023-07-19T18:39:51+00:00

The simple answer is that men don't get as turned off by neediness as women do. Men learn quickly that being needy turns women off, so they bottle that shit up.

Communities like 2X are extremely defensive about women being inferior at anything. I bet they would argue women aren't physically weaker than men if you asked.

baiser_vole · 2023-07-19T18:25:16+00:00

I think how each gender (or person) want to be validated can be a bit different.

Feanoris2 · 2023-07-19T19:14:58+00:00

I would say women are more needy but as they have more access to relationships, social life, etc. that greater need is already satisfied like 10x. That is why they have the luxury to ask for more and more until they outprice themselves out of the dating market, since they already can get what they want anyway.

Women are kind of mini-celebrities, and just as celebrities they love and live off attention, and both women and celebrities get it for just existing.

totallyworkinghere · 2023-07-19T20:09:03+00:00

Why are those questions needy to you? One is defining a relationship, the other is a silly hypothetical

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-07-19T18:23:00+00:00

I think we let women pass on a lot of doofy shit they do. Men also don't feel secure enough to be emotionally vulnerable cause society doesn't tell us it's okay. All my homegirls tell me that men do act in the way you're describing as feminine. Just not nearly at the same frequency.

volleyballbeach · 2023-07-19T18:25:01+00:00

Those sort of question stem from insecurity. I think men are equally needy in the sense that they generally have an equal amount of need in order to feel fulfilled and happy in a relationship, however it is unfortunately less socially acceptable for men to express their feelings, so their needs are less likely to be voiced

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AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-19T19:24:19+00:00

Not always. I'd say my husband is more needy than me. I'm an introvert who needs her alone time though. He's the social butterfly who likes having people around. I think it just depends on the relationship and the two people in it.

KirthWGersen · 2023-07-19T22:01:13+00:00

Yes. No doubt about it.

The key is: don't let them act like that for more than 15 minutes in any interaction.

Your job is to change their emotional state and have fun.

Orangematcha · 2023-07-19T23:27:01+00:00

Men continuously tell themselves or other men to internalize things like that. Men are emotional and needy as well. Anger or other similar feelings are emotions many men can express but usually infer it as a passionate thing when it can be that but it’s still an emotion.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-07-19T18:34:30+00:00

They definetly are, but that is mostly because of media and society that worship women no matter what. Once you are worshipped you feel the need for more, and more and more while males are villainized and males are just used to loneliness. I mean just look around and see what women are capable of doing for attention: falsely accusing a man for rape, falsely accusing men for staring at them at the gym and posting it on tiktok, posting on instagram every single day wherever they go and feeding off likes.

Workaholiconew · 2023-07-19T20:24:42+00:00

Differences in social orientation and social interest scores between male and female subjects is a well documented fact.

There are some aspects that are innate to it as research shown that newborn girs will tend to follow human faces and human voices with their eyes while newborn boys tend to focus in berght colored objects and fast objects. But there is also some environmental aspects.as explained in another research that shown girls/women tend to find way greater positive interactions when socializing with strangers and close people than male peers.

It doesnt make however make men asocial. Men have positive social interest and social orientation. It is just considerably reduced. Making them usually have few socialization partners.

This fact make it seem like the needy ones may be men, as if you happen to be the only partner they have left (60% of american men age 18-65 have 1 or 0 friends) they quite literally have none else to come to. And will most likey suffer a lot if forced to socialize against their will to find an alternative.

The fact is. Women need people. A lot. At all times. But men also many times need people as they are social beings and have close to zero positive social interaction partners

2023-07-19T20:32:33+00:00

Yes, women are more needy than men. Women typically desire more expensive lifestyles than men, and typically want men around so they have someone to do things for them.

Jazzlike-Actuary-99 · 2023-07-19T20:34:35+00:00

My guess that women likes verbal affirmation more than men in general. Men also wants affirmation and to feel appreciated, but perhaps the love language of most men is less verbal.

thelajestic · 2023-07-19T21:11:29+00:00

How come woman ask questions such as do you love me or would you love me if I was a worm.

My husband asks me questions like that too. They're both just silly things you do in a secure relationship. "Do you love me" might lead to "how much do you love me? Is it enough to get me a biscuit from the kitchen?" Or whatever. The second is just silly fun. Questions my husband and I have asked include but are not limited to "would you love me if I was a potato?", "Would you love me if I could fit in your pocket?", "Would you love me if I was a cat?" "Would you love me if I looked like this? [cue husband pulling some ridiculous face]".

Neither of these is needy. Needy is more like clingy, constantly seeking validation or needing to be together or needing to be in constant communication while apart.

I've known needy men and women. I've encountered neediness far more often in men because I've mostly dated men, but I would imagine there are just as many needy women.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-07-19T22:28:31+00:00

Yes 1000% yes

It does not take much to satisfy a man

Fuck him consistently and do not annoy him. Thats about 90% of it

daddysgotanew · 2023-07-19T23:00:25+00:00

If she’s actually attracted to you, yes.

DatingVX · 2023-07-20T07:16:20+00:00

macone235 · 2023-07-20T08:58:42+00:00

Are woman generally more needy than men?

Men aren't allowed to be needy, so yes by default.

How come woman ask questions such as do you love me or would you love me if I was a worm.

Because they want security in the relationship, and to feel like it isn't a transaction. Men don't ask, because they know it's a transaction to women.

One thing is that woman will openly admit these things but then when you ask the exact same questions “are woman needy” on a ask woman or two chromosome subreddit they are quick to call you sexist.

Wondering why this phenomena occurs.

You're wondering why women get mad when you call them out? Women are professional virtue-signalers. Right or wrong, they always have to be right. Women care more about the illusion of being right. Men care about actually being right.

Educational_Ad4410 · 2023-07-20T15:33:05+00:00

Meh depends, for the right guy then yeah she can be needy and want his validation but for some random joe then no.

Men are way more needy, women in general have higher SMV than men so they don’t need to be desperate or simp. Now for the right guy I’ve seen women act desperate over him and accept even mistreatment from this guy.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-07-20T17:32:08+00:00

I think men are more needy in my personal experience but YMMV

gopher_glitz · 2023-07-20T18:12:46+00:00

A women will jam a toilet brush ALL the way the fuck into a toilet and NEED to call a (usually male) plumber and pay a fee.

She'll neglect her gas furnace and have to call a (usually male) HVAC person.

She'll neglect her car and have to call a (usually male) mechanic.

She won't want to mow her yard so she'll call a (usually male) groundskeeper.

I could go on and on and on. Women can call a man to do a 'mans job' and pay him and nobody will say anything.

Men call a women to fuck him and it's horrible.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-07-21T00:39:56+00:00

Feel like there's some kind of mixed answer. Women can be more openly insecure and I think want attention more openly, but it doesn't mean men aren't pretty needy themselves if they want relationships more than women do since women are more fine being single but it's just that men aren't as openly needy

Ideology-619 · 2023-07-23T22:38:24+00:00

Look at it this way: Have a look at how women vs men react to brutally honest dating advice and you will see who takes a more practical outlook on reality.

Title	Are woman generally more needy than men?
Author	MathematicianDull388
Upvotes	1
Comments	44
Date	July 19, 2023 6:20 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1542nzy/are_woman_generally_more_needy_than_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-woman-generally-more-needy-than-men.1225810 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225810

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