partnering with someone of the opposite political persuasion isnt a dealbreaker if relationship is built on respect...

Slowly_Sunny · 2023-08-04T19:52:45+00:00

The relationship can be built on respect and this could still not work. Having opposite views on corporate tax law is one thing, but having opposite views on issues like abortion, social services, religion, race, marriage, education, immigration, etc., can (and probably should) make a relationship not work out. Even economic issues as taxes fund a lot of programs.

It's easy to have opposing views when those views don't impact your/their life. Everything changes when you're pro life and your partners wants an abortion, or they/you vote against the right of people you care about to get married, or they/you vote against medicaid when having medicaid is saving your life.

If opposing views don't matter it just means you're not being effected by the issues you disagree on—and you don't really care about the people whose lives are being effected.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-08-04T19:40:48+00:00

I think having different political views could lead to a break up, especially when it comes to major topics that would involve the two of you. For example, if she is pro choice and you are pro life only one of you can succeed in an argument if she gets pregnant. The other person is going to feel put out. This can happen with many other things like whether or not to have a gun in the house or if you should discuss gender identity and specific gender roles with your kids. Unfortunately there are some political beliefs that bleed over into every day life and cannot be compromised on. Some people may be able to work through those discussions but I think most will fail.

Pizzashillsmom · 2023-08-04T19:47:23+00:00

Values is what matters not political leanings. Political leanings are often a proxy for values, but two people who have different political leanings can function just fine together if their values align.

sexualdeskfan · 2023-08-04T19:31:37+00:00

I think that depends on where you live and how far apart your political persuasion is.

If you’re in America I find it hard to picture a right wing voting person being able to maintain a relationship with a left wing voting person. The differences in policies is just too big and a lot of the issues that divide those two groups aren’t just political issues they are differences in your core beliefs.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-08-04T19:48:56+00:00

Respect is all fine and good but what happens if you're in a position where your opinions clash on a serious matter? What if one person is religious and the other isn't, and one person wants to raise the kid with no religious influence, while the other wants to raise the kid in their religion? What if the woman is pro-choice and the man is very much against abortion but an unplanned and very unwanted pregnancy happens?

I can be friends with people who have views very different from my own but I don't think I would ever be able to have a relationship with someone like that. A fundamental disagreement on how to live your life, on how to raise your children, on how to view different groups of people, on what causes you might dedicate yourself, etc. doesn't sound like something I could look past when it comes to building a life with someone.

Wattehfok · 2023-08-04T20:10:55+00:00

I think it’s possible to be in a partnership with a person of opposite political persuasion in issues where there’s little or no personal stakes.

For example (and let’s try something less gendered) - she might be very pro-union, he might be very anti-union. That’s sorta academic until she tries to unionise her workplace and gets fired in retaliation and can’t pay rent; or his workplace tries to unionise, he snitches on the organisers and they all get fired.

In the first case, he’s gonna be real pissed that he’s gotta shoulder the whole rent because she fucked around and found out. In the second, she’s gonna think he’s a fucking prick and screwed up a bunch of peoples’ lives for trying to improve their situation. That’s really gonna harm the relationship.

Look - Im sure OP and his gal get along fine; but political persuasion is a genuine fracture point in a lot of relationships.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-08-04T19:48:03+00:00

I can't respect someone who advocates to remove the choices of others who live or look differently.

If that works, cool. But to me, it sounds like both parties don't respect each other and just don't talk about the lack of respect.

Creation_Soul · 2023-08-04T19:26:14+00:00

i think it also depends on how "argumentative" each person is. different points of view can work, but each person needs to learn when to "let go".

Look I am not a religious person, but I know and respect (and they me) people who are very religious. but that respect is built on the fact that they don't try to "convert me" and I don't try "to dunk" on their religion. But this is a case by case basis and I have met a lot more "asshole" very religious people.

Gonzalo_96 · 2023-08-04T20:00:38+00:00

It depends: One is libertarian and his/her partner is socialist, it can work. One is against abortion, contraception, believes in married virgin, and his/her partner believes in casual sex and free love and defends contraception and abortion, it won't work.

AngeCruelle · 2023-08-04T20:07:45+00:00

Would still be concerned about how our families would get along.

Like it's all well and good when two individuals with political differences can respect each other. What about their parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.? What's the game plan in the event that there's some kind of confrontation at Thanksgiving dinner?

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-04T19:40:22+00:00

It depends on what their political beliefs are, tbh. Someone who may see things differently from me on, say, taxes, I can work that out. Someone who thinks minorities are 2nd class citizens, refugee children deserve to be locked up in detention centers, or that gays are not deserving of basic human rights, I would not date or even spend any time with at all, if I could help it.

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KayRay1994 · 2023-08-04T20:00:51+00:00

I think it depends on the core political philosophy rather than individual issues - and i’m talking deeper than “right” or “left”, ie. if you take two people from opposing major political parties in the US (for example) it doesn’t make a difference because the two parties run under the same fundamentals. But, if you have two people with fundamentally different concepts - ie. a communist and a capitalist, a monarchist vs a republican (as an believes in republics, not the political party) then it might end up becoming much more an issue.

Zabadoodude · 2023-08-04T20:37:13+00:00

Compatible political views aren't as imprtent as compatible values.

I have close friends withvery different political views, but our values are similar. We just disagree on how to best uphold them.

svarowskylegend · 2023-08-04T21:02:27+00:00

Politics means core beliefs and values, why should you go for a partner who is the opposite of you, from this point of view?

The only people I see making these arguments are people that are very desperate

ApprehensiveDot3115 · 2023-08-04T23:44:04+00:00

I think most people would agree with you, since most are either politically moderate, or apolitical, just trying to live their lives.

It's easy to forget on reddit, because people here tend to hold onto their political views like it's some sort of identity. There's a big "if you don't agree with me, you're evil" attitude from everyone.

But I see politically mismatched relationships everywhere, even religiously mismatched ones, and as long as people aren't blinded by their righteousness and ready to be all fiery, they can generally respectfully disagree, when they need to.

I don't know if this is a real pattern, or just something I notice amongst my friends, but I see a lot of liberal women being drawn to traditionally masculine, conservative men, so I don't think politics is a dealbreaker in most cases.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-08-04T23:46:43+00:00

Try raising children. Whose belief system do you use to help them build a framework of the world?

dishonouronmycow · 2023-08-04T19:30:45+00:00

To me it depends on how extreme each persons views are. I’m pretty left myself so someone that’s right wing is likely to clash with a lot of my views. It’s one thing to have different opinions on how to improve things for everyone. It’s another to disagree on what fundamental rights should and should not exist ie gun laws, abortion laws etc.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-08-04T20:34:25+00:00

there is no possibility i could respect a man on the Left or a man who was a democrat/progressive/woke whatever you want to call it

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2023-08-04T20:38:03+00:00

Considering politics now solely subsists of identity politics I'd say this is less true now than it has ever been

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-08-04T22:46:02+00:00

It’s 100% a deal breaker now a days, especially depending on how they are voting. Why would I want to be with someone who is actively engaged in the process of taking away rights from people?

If I’m pro lgbtq rights and my partner is not then there is not enough respect in the world that would enable us to make that relationship work. How will we raise the kids? How will we speak to one another about social issues?

MrBrittle · 2023-08-04T22:58:48+00:00

It depends on what you define as "opposing political views".

Irreconcilable value differences do not allow the relationship to work out.

I would not get involved, for example, with a woman who supports the murder of babies, or politicians who kill millions of people, as these things demonstrate the person's character and make the person even a risk to be around;

On the other hand, if "opposing political views" are between logistical rather than moral issues, such as divergence between the allocation of resources to health institutions versus basic sanitation, whether to invest more in security or education. Then the relationship can be healthy

mrcs84usn · 2023-08-04T20:14:22+00:00

I think it bores down to talking to me about my beliefs as opposed to developing a caricature of what you think of me. I often find a lot of common ground.

eccomomento · 2023-08-04T20:54:26+00:00

Totally agree. It’s all about having common intentions, you can disagree on how to get there.

c0pkill3r · 2023-08-04T21:16:50+00:00

I disagree. The only times I've ever not felt sickened by someone talking about right winged ideas is when it's children. I couldn't consider those romantic partners. I did have an ex who was a anarcho capitalist. I could sort of get behind the whole "woman amirite guys?" thing, because we both had extensive childhood sexual trauma with female perpetrators. But I can't stand to be around a racist. To the point where it could be legitimately dangerous for them.

2023-08-04T21:26:42+00:00

If I could, I would use bio-chemical weapons on my polar opposites.

Well I probably can, but I don't like the perspective of a death penalty. (and there go all my chances for working in a bio-safety lab, also hi watchlists).

Anyways, if someone has opposite views of my own, I see them as the devil incarnate.

I am in ideological terms a radical environmentalist, I know for a fact that If we don't do major changes now, the suffering of all life on earth will increase tenfold in the next 50 years. I can't live with myself If I let these species die out just because people are too dumb to grasp their destructive behaviors.

Title	partnering with someone of the opposite political persuasion isnt a dealbreaker if relationship is built on respect...
Author	WhiskeyEyesKP
Upvotes	2
Comments	77
Date	August 4, 2023 7:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15i91my/partnering_with_someone_of_the_opposite_political/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/partnering-with-someone-of-the-opposite-political.1227440 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227440

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