Is this sexual harassment?

Wylanderuk · 2023-08-09T23:40:36+00:00

Its both sexual harassment and assault and throw in a case of workplace bullying and creating a hostile work environment.

Get your complaints in first or you are basically fucked...Lawyer and then bring it up to HR, but you need to get in first.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2023-08-09T21:45:39+00:00

Ass grabbing is sexual ASSAULT. Why do men always downplay stuff? Make a serious request to her to stop it. If she keeps going, yes, you should report her.

Hornydaddy696 · 2023-08-09T22:48:53+00:00

Team up with hubby

marcusdj813 · 2023-08-10T00:44:28+00:00

Not only is this sexual harassment, it's also sexual assault. That's unacceptable, period.

CRobinsFly · 2023-08-09T21:50:38+00:00

This is why you don't get your honey where you get your money...

PuzzleheadedAide7057 · 2023-08-09T23:11:33+00:00

Report her

JacydenPurplLion · 2023-08-09T23:24:45+00:00

That is sexual assault!!

OldTrapper87 · 2023-08-10T00:17:58+00:00

Report her asap or it looks bad on you.

flush101 · 2023-08-10T06:44:08+00:00

Also.. tell.. her… husband

freeball_1 · 2023-08-09T22:39:29+00:00

Yes, get an attorney sue her personally and the company!!!! Women are never going to take their shit seriously unless we start doing the exact same things they do to us.

report it to HR after seeking an attorney and collecting evidence.

Talratheon_Z · 2023-08-10T01:07:13+00:00

Yes this is sexual harassment.

In fact this would be described as direct sexual harassment. You are being sexually assaulted in the workplace, and you are being defamed by her words to other coworkers. You need to report this to human resources as soon as humanly possible and depending on their actions you may have legal ammunition to sue the workplace if it is not addressed. Because she is also creating a hostile work environment for you.

Truth be told I would report this before she decides to report it and tell her own side of the story and nullify anything that you can say.

Oris_Mador · 2023-08-10T02:01:37+00:00

It's been 3 weeks. I recommend reporting her to HR and letting her husband know he's in an open marriage

Nihi1986 · 2023-08-10T09:20:30+00:00

Now reverse the genders and realize the massive hypocrisy of current society...

Also, yes, it's sexual harassment, and her pride is now hurt cause she feels now rejected so she's going to try to make you feel pressured for a while and then miserable.

Look at the bright side, though, at least you aren't the husband...

Schopke · 2023-08-10T00:12:40+00:00

If you told her it is off then the ass grabbing is sexual assault and sexual harassment. Notify the police and Human Resources.

CawlinAlcarz · 2023-08-09T22:41:36+00:00

How important is this job to you?

I ask because what you're experiencing is DEFINITELY sexual harrassment, but if you report it, she is HUGELY likely to play the Uno reverse card on you with management, and will likely be more believed than you will be.

If she doesn't do that for some reason, she is also not likely to be fired, but she will spend the rest of the time you work there working on getting you fired, which she almost surely will be able to do successfully.

Good luck.

Independent_Growth38 · 2023-08-09T22:00:33+00:00

Tell her to stop or you'll report her and tell her husband.

vegansoymilk · 2023-08-09T23:50:13+00:00

Document time, date, nature of each sexual harrassment event. If she is still sending text, emails etc. after you have told her to stop save them as evidence. Determine if any of you collegues are willing to provide witness statements. Seek legal advice.

arek229 · 2023-08-10T06:30:36+00:00

You should report her, but remember to be prepared for it.

Have a video, or a recorded audio of it, because as we seen MANY times, without the evidence, she can play a victim, and fuck you over (there was even a situation where a woman raped an underaged guy, get herself pregnant, avoided the punishment, and get the raped guy to pay child support).

And you should do it before she does, you'll get an advantage.

loneBroWithCat · 2023-08-09T22:16:31+00:00

You got yourself in real trouble here, you need to gather evidence and get her fired asap.

RenegadeJedi · 2023-08-10T00:26:21+00:00

100%

trashtony69 · 2023-08-10T01:21:24+00:00

Most definitely sexual assault.

itsakon · 2023-08-10T01:55:17+00:00

Yeah, this is the literal definition of sexual harassment.

Spare_Guesso · 2023-08-10T08:33:32+00:00

she’s constantly ass grabbing and making crazy comments because I don’t want to hook up anymore. She also told two of my coworkers right in front of me that I like to have a finger up my butt

Vindictive sexual harassment and sexual assault.

If a man did this to a woman he'd be going away for a long time.

ZekalMacabre · 2023-08-10T15:27:52+00:00

You need to tell HR about this. This is absolutely sexual harassment. File a case with the police first. Get it on record before she does and fucks you over.

Timely-Response-2217 · 2023-08-10T00:19:05+00:00

It's harassment and you have rights. Report her.

jrackow · 2023-08-10T05:53:06+00:00

Remember, HR is there to mitigate monetary damages. Go to a lawyer first and get advice from them.

cool80sreference · 2023-08-10T07:24:49+00:00

Report that hoe before she reports you.

xaustishx · 2023-08-10T08:46:48+00:00

I was in a similar situation to you. that "dont dip the pen in company ink" phrase was something I always blew off but it's true now looking back on it. Yes she is assaulting you. I didn't care much for my job at the time so I left to avoid the situation. She apparently still talked about Me for years after the fact, I was always nervous she would flip the script and say I tried pushing her to hookup or something. Either way yes dude she is assaulting you. If I could go back I would record all of it with voice memos or a recorder of some sort. Make it VERY clear that you don't appreciate the advances and you are uncomfortable with them. Whatever you two had, make it clear it's done and over with. I'm assuming you did all this so I would say have a chat with HR. Personally I don't hold much faith in HR when it comes to male issues like this so also try to get a legal consultant or a lawyer, since she can very easily turn the tides of this at your workplace in HR and claim YOU harassed her, and we both know who they'll take more seriously in that situation. Good luck to you, what's happening to you is awful, regardless if you two hooked up before doesn't mean she has any right to keep touching you at work and degrading you and talking about private sexual matters of you to other coworkers.

vaindioux · 2023-08-10T11:22:14+00:00

Easy one:

Tell her in front of other employees that i do not wish to have a relationship with you anymore. And i need you to stop touching me or say anything personal about me.

1) 90% chances she will stop

2) It will go back to management without you doing it as people talk

3) If she does not stop then go tell

reddit_hayden · 2023-08-10T13:26:28+00:00

tell her husband

SilverHoard · 2023-08-10T15:30:21+00:00

I'm surprised the other coworkers who overheard those comments didn't report her. That's incredibly unprofessional. Not to mention outright gross.

stent00 · 2023-08-10T01:25:47+00:00

Never dip.your d--k in the company ink...

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-08-09T21:47:26+00:00

Yeah, I would certainly call that harassment at the least. Not sure what is best course of action, but I do wish you good luck with it.

Pretend-Thing2816 · 2023-08-10T00:10:57+00:00

Absolutely sexual harassment time for HR to get involved!

Acousmetre78 · 2023-08-10T01:34:38+00:00

Yeah she should be in trouble. Do not be ashamed to speak up. She’s in the wrong here.

sixtysixpixistix · 2023-08-10T03:53:43+00:00

She's trying to monkeybranch from her husband over to you. You should send an anonymous letter informing her husband, another to human resources, and then drop the bitch.

AndyBrown65 · 2023-08-10T07:18:49+00:00

Report her.

Confirm with the co workers what she has said (even covertly record, which you can do for your legal protection)

BrokeMacMountain · 2023-08-10T09:06:55+00:00

Report her, as this is sexual assault and assexual harrasment. she also wont stop until you do, and she will make you life hell.

LOLnation17 · 2023-08-10T10:21:18+00:00

report her and tell her husband

kuzism · 2023-08-10T12:37:55+00:00

Dude, did you ever hear the term, " you don't shit where you eat " well this is what happens. Older crazy married women are the low hanging fruit of the feminist workforce, and you bit the apple. You have two choices, keep fucking her or quit your job. No this is not sexual harassment, this is your wake up call to the real world.

Voidiboi · 2023-08-10T14:22:30+00:00

It is, but in this day and age it’s really hard to get out of the situation with reason and logic. The only real solution to get through it healthily is to leave the environment so that you can heal and grow away from the perpetrator.

I know that’s a lot harder then it sounds. But it’s true. If you don’t take the action to keep space between you and said other person, they will walk all over you until they decide to walk somewhere else. And who knows when that will happen.

obamascrocss · 2023-08-10T18:44:06+00:00

it’s harassment and assault! please report, and if you can get videos or any type of evidence that makes it 10000% better. also, on top of that, she’s humiliating you by spreading lies. if you can secretly record her, take her ass to court and get a restraining order.

PlumEnvironmental109 · 2023-08-10T19:39:44+00:00

You should definitely tell her husband so he wont have to be constantly be betrayed by his wife

ThrowawayDivorcee26 · 2023-08-10T20:18:47+00:00

BRO! Without a doubt this is sexual harassment! Topped with hostile work environment and retaliation to boot. Report the bitch! And let this be a lesson to NEVER get into any sort of sexually and/or romantic entanglements with someone you work with. It's the perfect cocktail for trouble. Definitely lawyer up and slam HR hard with your complaints. It sounds like this bitch has played by her own rules for so long and to hell with the law and workplace policy. Get your ducks in a row and go to town. PLEASE!

BluedHaze · 2023-08-11T02:02:12+00:00

Tell her you'll tell her husband if she doesn't stfu about your past entanglement and if you don't feel comfortable doing that, contact her husband and tell him she's unfaithful and then contact HR. She will never bother you again when she realises she actually has to take accountability for her actions by confronting her husband + HR. Karma is a bitch.

lookci4 · 2023-08-11T04:40:53+00:00

Yes and Yes

Za__guy · 2023-08-10T02:57:58+00:00

If that isn't sexual harassment than what is it?

Anyway no nead to feel sorry for a cheater, go for the kill

Nature_Dweller · 2023-08-10T02:38:20+00:00

Please please please report her. I was assigned female at birth and it amazed and pisses me off that men are treated like this. As if they don't get treated the same way. They do. As you know of course. Anyway, you deserve to be heard. You need to tell them what's going on. Go to HR especially. I don't know how your manager is but it is best to talk to HR to cover yourself. I think I would go to jail if I was there. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and I wish there was more I could do to help. Blessings to you, my friend. <3 Do you guys have cameras?

MatildeLover128 · 2023-08-10T14:17:56+00:00

Write a complaint to HR.

tiddermacss · 2023-08-09T23:54:27+00:00

how about inform the husband and do the right thing? did that ever occur to you???

baby_budda · 2023-08-10T01:20:02+00:00

Just send the texts to her husband and ask him to make it stop. She'll get the message real quick.

robow556 · 2023-08-10T16:50:03+00:00

Do you like to have a finger up your butt?

KrazyJazz · 2023-08-10T02:57:15+00:00

I hooked up with a coworker...

You don’t dip your pen in company ink. Never. Now you probably will have to leave your current job tbh. You're dealing with a resentful woman, meaning she'll never stop harassing you.

imbetterthanyou30 · 2023-08-10T08:02:20+00:00

Yes. And you might want to report it before she reports you for the same thing. And trust me, they won't believe you if she reports first. They might not believe you or care anyway because you're a man, but if you start to run into ANY wonky or suspicious crap at work after you report, immediately consult with an employment attorney.

WareGaKaminari · 2023-08-10T10:43:35+00:00

I would love to see the reactions if you were a young woman with an older married man. People are so fucked up. She deserves a nice punishment, like for example, what if the husband were to find out about what a whore he's married to?

Ill-Truck-8077 · 2023-08-10T15:35:53+00:00

Collect evidence Talk to an attorney Report to HR Talk to her husband

michaelpaoli · 2023-08-10T04:44:17+00:00

I hooked up with a coworker

Not a great idea, but, well ... whatever ...

not that things ended

Did they end?

she’s constantly

grabbing and

because I don’t want to hook up anymore

I can assure you she's not a mind reader. Have you told her to stop? Because if you were hooking up with her, and maybe you stopped doing that, but if you haven't otherwise clearly communicated with her to stop whatever else it is she's still doing, she may not know that you want to stop - or that you want to also stop those other aspects. So, if you've never clearly communicated to her to stop, then that very well may not be sexual harassment. Just because you stopped jumping in the sack with her, if you haven't told her to stop those other behaviors, that may well not be sexual harassment. Would be quite different if she did that stuff out-of-the-blue, but that's not at all the case here - you've not only got quite the history, but quite the recent history of lots more and consensual. So, if you haven't, you need to clearly communicate to her to stop it. That's it. If she still persists, or you already clearly communicated that to her and she continues to persist anyway, then it's sexual harassment.

I think we should stop

That's a relatively ambiguous statement. "Stop, no, don't do that anymore" is clear. "I think we should" isn't so clear and leaves ambiguity / unclear possibilities. You turned the tap on, you don't want the water running, you need to clearly and well turn it off, not just wander back away from it and expect it'll stop dripping. (Okay, analogies typically suck, but hopefully you at least get the general idea).

ignoring her texts after telling her how i feel

Again, that's not the same as telling her to stop. You say go, things go ... you step back - that's not the same as saying stop.

She also told two of my coworkers right in front of me that I like to have a finger up my butt

Uhm, I did hint that bangin' the coworker(s) ain't a great idea ... see what I mean? Stuff can happen.

I don’t want to report her

There may be nothing to report at this point - HR or whomever might just ask you the same questions I posed / raise the same issues/questions - so, when and how exactly did you clearly communicate to her to stop, and what's happened since then. So, yeah, if you've not done that yet, you need to. None of this "I think we ought to." or "Maybe we should". No, make it plain and simple. "No. Stop. Not okay to do that anymore." And if she persists past that, then it's harassment.

don’t know how to handle it

You communicate clearly to her to stop. Maybe also tell her if she persists further it's harassment. Then if she persists further, it's harassment - and your employer likely has procedures for reporting and dealing with such. You could even tell her at the same time you tell her to stop that if she continues it's sexual harassment. That's it - then hopefully that's the end of it ... it not, reporting time.

xkirbz · 2023-08-10T00:05:54+00:00

You’re definitely being SH at work. She has zero professionalism. This is why you should never date or sleep with coworkers, because it will always come back to haunt you. Good luck!

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-08-10T01:46:39+00:00

mistermiracle69 · 2023-08-10T02:26:58+00:00

Tell her husband that you did her

Sultry_Llama_Of_Doom · 2023-08-10T02:51:38+00:00

Pro tip: Never get your honey where you make your money.

BEEZ128 · 2023-08-10T02:59:43+00:00

Like everyone else is saying, report her immediately. This is absolutely sexual assault. What a fucking b*tch. Report her to HR, and take her to court.

PMASPF226 · 2023-08-10T03:49:08+00:00

I'd report her for sure dude!!!

Mrbigballsmcgee · 2023-08-10T03:53:13+00:00

I work at bars and women will literally say and do whatever the fuck they want, even if I tell them I’m taken. If anything it just makes it worse. I literally get sexually harassed every single shift. Can’t wait to get out of that work.

My co worker literally told me the other day to shut up and bang her already. I needed help with a table. This would never fly the other way around. They all grab my ass and I told them to stop. I can’t say shit or I’ll get laughed off. I’m also the only guy that works there.

Ivanhunterjo1991 · 2023-08-10T04:03:10+00:00

Report to HR. This is sexual assault

EldianTitanShifter · 2023-08-10T04:34:04+00:00

I don’t want to report her, but at this point i just feel super uncomfortable about the whole situation and don’t know how to handle it.

Definitely report her. Speak to a lawyer/counselor, and once evidence is accrued, then inform the husband as she's been summoned to Court. This way, you have evidence, she has to explain the situation, and you protect yourself as well as expose her affair to her husband, who should be grateful to know the truth

Morden013 · 2023-08-10T05:47:53+00:00

First rule of being a new young employee: keep your mouth and your zipper shut and your eyes and ears open.

Wookiee_Hairem · 2023-08-10T08:41:34+00:00

If there are cameras where you work try to get the proof along with any proof in writing and go to a superior (if they can be trusted, if not go to someone in charge who can).

therobohour · 2023-08-10T10:39:32+00:00

That's textbook harassment and light assault, you'd be well within your rights to sue and I would recommend getting a lawyer as you may need support but yea,you should very much report this as she really should not be getting away with it. What is you industry? How old are you?

knight_call1986 · 2023-08-10T11:05:29+00:00

I have been exactly where you are. First keep records of everything that she says and does. Recordings are better. Having evidence is extremely important, one misstep and you can be the one getting crucified.

I was in the same situation, but it was multiple coworkers grabbing me and groping me. And I hadn't even slept with any of them. When I reported it, it fell on deaf ears, and eventually I started getting looked at like I did something wrong.

Good luck bro. I am sorry this is happening to you. This is exactly why we don't dip our pen in the company ink.

eggnobacon · 2023-08-10T11:19:21+00:00

Make a formal complaint to HR. Use the report as evidence to give her husband to divorce her and get screwed a little less.

Pump her one last time, tell everyone at work on the DL that you stopped seeing her due to lack of personal hygiene!

Future-Air2527 · 2023-08-10T15:38:32+00:00

Imagine if a man did the same thing as she's doing😲

Angle_Of_Flames · 2023-08-10T17:54:56+00:00

Do not go to HR, their job is to protect the company. Collect evidence and get a lawyer.

Swatieson · 2023-08-15T09:39:22+00:00

Late to the thread but she will ruin your life just to not be accountable in front of her husband.

Report her to HR immediately before she does.

Title	Is this sexual harassment?
Author	Shaunmoto
Upvotes	534
Comments	134
Date	August 9, 2023 9:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15msh79/is_this_sexual_harassment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-this-sexual-harassment.1228021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228021

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