Should I just pay for sex?

Stargazer1919 · 2023-09-17T16:08:20+00:00

A lot of your post has been debunked many times already.

Most women don't go looking for sex on demand with random guys. That means it's not that easy and/or not worth it in the end.

For men, they're competing with the algorithms. Dating apps/sites are all a sausage fest. Whoever runs the sites/apps wants your money and your time, and they design the sites/apps as such.

What does your title have to do with the rest of your post?

DefiantLiterature144 · 2023-09-17T16:38:30+00:00

For personality your definitely wrong when you have a personality not only women but people in general gravitate to you, you know how many fat or ugly dudes I’ve seen pull bad bitches just off of being funny and having confidence. A lot of Women look right past all of that looks shit when your confident in being yourself.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2023-09-17T16:32:20+00:00

I've thought about and have considered it, but ultimately, I don't think I ever could for several reasons:

There's a chance I could get arrested (I live in the U.S. and prostitution is illegal in most parts of the country.) There's a chance I could catch an STD. If I do get an actual date with a woman one day, she might be repulsed that I slept with hookers and call things off.

But the main reason why I don't think I'd ever do it is because I don't like the idea that the only way I can get laid is by paying a woman to pretend to like me. That just reinforces how much of a loser I am. I'd rather be with a woman who actually likes me as unlikely as that is. Not because she needs rent money, not because she just feels sorry for me.

It's up to you whether or not you want to do it.

Hawanja · 2023-09-17T22:32:13+00:00

OP, if you want to meet women, then concentrate on meeting people. I.e. developing a social network of friends not necessarily just connected to your work/employment or family. So go out and do stuff, use sites like meetup.com and such, meet like minded people. The more people you meet, the more women you meet, the more chances you have of hitting it off with someone.

Then just concentrate on looking good and not being a loser/having something to offer and just let things happen. Also don't flip out if a girl doesn't like you. Sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn't, just be cool and let what may come.

_defy_death · 2023-09-18T02:03:18+00:00

Pay for a therapist instead

Ifhes · 2023-09-17T17:43:32+00:00

Yes because for what I read the only reason you want to start dating is to have sex. Dating shouldn't be all about sex, all your frustrations are because you probably think women are just a little more than sex toys. If you want to date someone, stop thinking about the sex you'd get and start doing you hobbies (and explore new ones), participate in groups and communities to meet new people, don't just talk to strangers and declare your intentions at the first second.

tinyhermione · 2023-09-17T18:10:03+00:00

Most women have no interest in hookups. Most couples meet in social settings, like through friends. Join some hobbies and activities, get friends.

Paying for sex won’t make you feel better than buying a sex you, bc you know that person doesn’t want to sleep with you.

daddyslittlefuckslut · 2023-09-17T19:54:08+00:00

Men are usually desperate for sex, that's why it's so easy for women to find sex. But we're actually not interested in that, and you certainly won't be successful if all you want from your interaction with women is sex.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-09-17T16:38:16+00:00

Hmm. I’m a gen x woman. Never done online dating. Don’t really have any single girlfriends who have done online dating either. I also have to say I don’t know any women that approach men either. I’d say it’s probably best to stay off online dating and approach women politely in real life. Sure some will find you creepy, but as long as you keep your hands to yourself and accept their no, you’ll be just fine. You’ll likely have to ask 100 women out to get one date. It’s best to just get through the first hundred approaches as quickly as possible. Get your toughness and resilience built up. Don’t get your feelings hurt when they say no or reject you. Even if they are being rude, or aggressive in their no (that often time comes from being scared of you or fearful). Don’t compound that by escalating and saying something rude back and don’t threaten or appear threatening if they hurt your feelings. Just walk away quickly, don’t get in a verbal altercation. So many videos of men getting rejected and then they act completely nuts and get in it with the woman. From the woman’s point of view, she got loud and rude and stuff because it’s a protective mechanism to not only reject the man but to say don’t mess with me and don’t get any ideas about touching me etc. it’s not right that women snap at men like chihuahuas. Just shaking and barking. But you can’t respond in kind ever or you will certainly look like a violent creep. Just be silent and walk away

bluemagex2517 · 2023-09-17T18:12:00+00:00

For "personality" that does not matter unless the person was already attracted to you. You wouldn't want your lawyer to look "homeless" no matter how qualified he is or what experience he is.

Yeah, but if you were trying to hire a lawyer and one was a little shabby but shook your hand, took your number, seemed to understand your case really well, and called you to ask if you were still looking for representation, and another one was in an impeccable suit but kept forgetting about your case, made rude remarks, and didn't seem to understand the case law involved in your particular issue... which one would you pick?

"Personality is more important than looks" doesn't mean looks don't matter all all. It means that if you are attractive at all to the other person, your personality can more than make up for the rest.

Example: If I meet two people, one is insanely physically attractive but is kinda "meh" in the personality department, and the other is just kinda cute physically but also extremely fun to be around and seemingly very compatible with me, then I'm going to be more attracted overall to the kinda cute one.

The moral of the story is to clean yourself up and put enough effort into yourself that you are a little bit physically attractive to a broad range of women. Then work on your personality and social skills as much as possible. That will get you a lot further than a guy who is moderately more physically attractive than you, but hasn't worked on his personality at all.

bananaexaminer · 2023-09-17T21:33:43+00:00

With what you’ve posted here, I’m gonna recommend you look into therapy for yourself. You seem to be focused on sex with women, but you don’t really care about the women. That’s just objectifying them. It sounds like you’re lonely and frustrated and see sex as a ‘win’ that will make you feel successful. This is a damaging mentality and having sex won’t fix that.

Go to therapy. Invest in bettering yourself, find hobbies, make friends. Shift your focus from what other people can can do for you to how you can contribute to your community.

Relationships follow that, then maybe you’ll find sex.

eatfleshdrinkblood · 2023-09-17T16:01:41+00:00

Tbh, I don’t think you should not that I have anything against it. But I’m still technically a virgin too and embarrassed about it, and have thought about paying for it but I have never been able to pull the trigger because I would rather loose my virginity to someone who love and desires me. Also about women approaching if your socially awkward like me you won’t be able to tell if a woman’s flirting with you because they give off subtle hits. I only ever know if a woman as been interested in me afterwards when someone as pointed it out and then it’s always too late.

BeautifulLazy5257 · 2023-09-20T17:02:41+00:00

Yes. Pay for sex. Sex work is legitimate work and labor. You'll cross this hurdle, realize it's not all it's cracked up to be - realize there is more to life - and be able to move on.

Don't let people make you feel bad about it either. The narrative against engaging with this type of labor is an arbitrary value our culture has assigned it. Transend the that culture.

That worker has autonomy over there own body and if they are consenting, there is no issue.

These people in here act as if the world hadn't changed. It has. We are atomized and pushed into isolation, consciously, economically, and subconsciously. People have a need for affection and intimacy. Its a part of being human. So, I say go for it, move passed it, and then grow.

2020na · 2023-09-17T19:31:25+00:00

Yes, just pay for it since that's the only reason you want a woman.

TheseSweetlnstincts · 2023-09-18T11:24:37+00:00

You guys wouldn't like it if men decided to tell you what it's like to be a woman. His points are valid, definitely exaggerated, but still valid.

Getting a date as a guy on tinder, hinge, bumble, etc is tricky for men (coming from experience). It sucks sometimes because you really feel like no matter what you do you can't really get a match, and even when you do the chances of them even responding are low. I'd suggest trying to go out more. Find somewhere that is socially acceptable to approach and talk to women. Start as friends first and foremost. Dating apps are literally designed to not work.

Aria0nDaP0le · 2023-09-18T07:29:01+00:00

In my controversial opinion yes or buy a masturbation tool. Sex is a need and I think it is sad that men are struggling so much with it now. I'm a stripper and while I dont do full on sex, I know women who do. They would be very chill about it ans you can get your needs fulfilled until you can figure out how to get laid. Just read strip club reviews to find out where you can

AcrobaticRhubarb2147 · 2023-09-17T18:40:17+00:00

I think you should stay of online dating altogether. I know no women of any age actually using online dating. I think you are going to have to approach women IRL

Coollogin · 2023-09-17T16:05:26+00:00

I know nearly nothing about sex work. Would it be possible to pay for a “girlfriend experience” where the woman genuinely coaches you and provides helpful feedback for when you’re ready to go on a real date with a woman who is not getting paid?

Difficult_Ferret2838 · 2023-09-17T18:47:04+00:00

What's your goal?

Slow-Carrot9871 · 2023-09-17T19:25:14+00:00

100PercentNattyBrah · 2023-09-18T01:11:22+00:00

Honestly yes, you pretty much pay the same money to take someone on a date to begin with, just cut the middle man out and get to the good part. I don't have plans to get married or have a family, so once I get to an older age I'll just be buying prostitutes.

Exciting-Parfait-776 · 2023-09-17T17:11:20+00:00

Why not🤷🏻‍♂️

Polish_Girlz · 2023-09-17T17:23:20+00:00

Absolutely

vcreativ · 2023-09-18T10:24:03+00:00

Short answer. It's up to you, but some things you can't take back. What you're longing for is intimacy. I don't know you're sexual experience, but it's not exactly equivalent to intimacy. So paying for sex is far more likely to put you deeper into the hole you're already in by adding regret.

Longer, but worth it:

You can be intimate without even touching someone. Mostly people are looking for a sense of belonging but are putting too much pressure on a person they don't even know yet. Attraction can blur the lines here, but it's always bound to fail.

What you need to do is find your intimacy elsewhere. Really good friends, yourself. Discover what it means to be you. Then look for an addition to you that's unnecessary but good. Sex is more of an event based past-time. It's not worth pursuing on its own though your biology will tell you otherwise.

Not everyone calling others a creep is correct. Most people just talk shit, get used to it. So unless you continuously bother or hang around or stare or follow someone home, you're probably ok.

There's a lot of fear here. CBT would make you write out a list of fears targeted at the thing you want to do (chat to women you find attractive) and sort in fear ascending order. Then pick of the bottom.

Depending on your state of development that can be: - Looking at someone's face for three seconds. - Meeting someone's gaze. Don't stare, if it ain't happening it ain't happening. - Meeting someone's gaze and smiling. Then look away softly. - Repeat above with someone's face you find attractive. Remember to look away again. ;) - Walking past someone you find attractive. - Start having banal conversations with people. "What's the time?" just isn't a creepy question. Leave the conversation again. - Start making off-hand comments that you find funny. <-- This one is kind of scary. One of the reasons why humour is so attractive is because it's show of a combination of predictive empathy and risk taking behaviour within socially acceptable boundaries. - Start having banal conversations with people you find attractive. Or just anyone you have fear of talking to. Could be a group of guys you're asking for the time. The fear (so long as it's there) is either the same neurological curcuit or very similar). - Or an interesting one, start talking to your friends about who you find attractive. This will introduce social chaos into your fear equation. - Walk past a busy bar. - Go into a bar, use the rest-room and leave again. - Go into a bar, ask the bar-tender when they close and leave again. - Go into a bar, sit down anywhere (the bar for extra points) and order something. Read a book, finish the drink. Pay. Leave. - ...

Find all the fears in your life and basically confront one per day or one per week, just make it a regular thing. It'll develop you. It's a game. And it's kind of fun.

I don't think women can relate to not getting complimented, and no matches from online dating.

I get what you mean. Honestly, that discussion between men and women is a bit pointless. I've been on bad dates and they're not fun, to the point of me basically just considering online dating pointless altogether. Even if it "works" it still doesn't. But again, my experience. I'd much rather have no dates than bad dates.

I don't know your situation, but in general I think lots of guys would benefit from normalising their contact with women before trying to date any. They're sort of different sort of the same. A bit of both in mostly charming ways. :)

I dance a lot and believe me 99.9% of the time I'm dancing with women I have no interest in. Zero. But it's a great way to have a lot of women in your life and will desensitise your nervousness trigger.

Hope this helps. Just remember, it's not about women, it's about fear and most fears you can confront on your own. Make it a game and afterwards explicitly reward yourself to link a dopamine response to the effort (it strengthens the neurological learning experience).

Arguably the key point, focus on your development, not on external outcome. The win is everything you can control, the rest is up to the world. All the best.

spicytuna12391 · 2023-09-19T00:25:58+00:00

If you're only looking for sex, then pay for it. Go to a prostitute and have sex like a robot. Otherwise, maybe you can actually get to know a woman and develop a relationship with her.

Not many women are downloading dating apps to get banged immediately, sure they exist but I assume they're not the majority. I'm a woman, and I use dating apps to look for relationships. Obviously, these relationships lead to sex as a healthy relationship should. But I take my time, I'm not banging a guy on the first date or anything.

Shot-Cellist9635 · 2023-09-19T19:30:40+00:00

you have some serious issues. no woman meets a man hoping to sleep with him. often if shes afraid he wont stick around she will but usually because she feels he will leave if she doesnt. it soundsl ike you dont even see women as human with souls and goals and hopes. so, if all you want is to meet a woman to have sex yes you should go pay for that because no one deserves to be used like that. you act like some victim. most women i know havent had sex in years because they dont want to be used or hurt. its not as if we make an account and start having sex. all that redpill garbage is hurting society and I think you should stay completely away from women because its obvious you dont see us as people. its absolutely infuriating. men like you are exactly why I never date at all

Damoksta · 2023-09-20T05:03:03+00:00

No, please don't.

Sex is the easy part of any relationship.

The hard part of the relationship? Building trust. Building enough self-respect, social respect, and respect by a female counterpart who want long-term commitment and vet for it. Self-awareness, constant self-improvement + self-care + self-heal. Being able to face down your shadow-self and rise from the ashes.

Redpill is appealing because it only acknowledges half of these challenges.

Effective_Elk_4719 · 2023-09-25T18:08:25+00:00

At the end of the day, you are competing against all other men for the same pool women. What have you done to improve yourself where a woman would want to date you?

Title	Should I just pay for sex?
Author	Farm_Efficiency_9768
Upvotes	7
Comments	291
Date	September 17, 2023 3:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/16l3xl4/should_i_just_pay_for_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/should-i-just-pay-for-sex.1232155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232155

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