The issue with dating today

Wattehfok · 2023-10-19T05:40:11+00:00

So I think the solution is to stop telling 5'2 200lb Becky that she's beautiful/ at any size while men that are obese get called ew and gross by a lot of women

No-one being listened to is telling overweight women that they're hot.

Ask pretty much any fat girl how they feel about their bodies, and what people tell them about their bodies. It'll put the lie to that idea post fucking haste.

No-one will hold a gun to your head and tell you that you need to date a fat chick if you don't think she's attractive, but treating her like a lesser human for it just makes you a shitcunt.

I'd extend the same comment to any women treating overweight dudes the same way, fwiw.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-19T01:18:14+00:00

If most the people in the 5,6,and 7 range are mostly obese

I don't think they are. The obesity rate among adults aged 20-39 was 39.8% according to this data.

I think it commonly agreed upon on PPD that 4-6 are average people, and 7's are not average at all.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-10-19T03:03:42+00:00

It ruined tinder. I honestly think part of the appeal of tinder is to create a hyperreality for insecure women to get more attention than they normally would in the real world. This has resulted in a lot of entitled behavior from fat women on dating apps. A lot of them are bitter too because the, most likely fitter, men they date fuck them once and don’t want to do it again because they don’t want to fuck the same fat girl more than once.

But I think more generally the issue with dating is that people are trying to find someone they like by avoiding what they don’t like. You’ll never find someone you like that way.

But the stats do say that in general average weight women discriminate the least based on weight. But it also says that overweight women can be the most discriminating based on weight and western countries are progressively getting fatter

ShivasRightFoot · 2023-10-19T01:36:54+00:00

The main issue in testing a hypothesis that contemporary young Men are fatter or not than contemporary young Women is establishing a comparable difference in bodyfat percentage. This isn't really a question addressed by academia as medical studies are going to be looking at deviations from the existing average, and will not be concerned with the aesthetic issues of, how to put this, "comparable hotness."

One relatively objective measure of the differences between Male and Female body fat for arguably comparably "attractive" populations may be to look at the sex differences in body fat percentages of Olympic Athletes of either sex. This estimates about 9% more body fat for this group of attractive Women vs this group of attractive Men:

In 1983, the body fat percentages of American Olympians averaged 14–22% for women and 6–13% for men.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_fat_percentage

Using these upper limit cutoffs we can see in the 2017-2018 NHANES dataset (the most recent availible) that about 3.47% of men aged 18-28 are below 13.5% body fat while only 1.74% of young Women are below 22.5% body fat.

This represents a very small and elite athletic portion of the population. From here it is difficult to decide whether we should expect the difference in body fat percentage to be constant or to potentially increase in body fat percentage. I.e. is a man with 3% more body fat than an Olympian comparable to a woman with 3% more body fat than an Olympian or is it more a man with X times the body fat percentage of an Olympian comparable to woman with X times the body fat of an Olympian. In the first case we would have a 16% cutoff for Men compared to a 25% cutoff for Women. In the second case we would have a 16% cutoff for Men compared to a 27% cutoff for Women.

Comparing a male cutoff of 20.5% compared to a female cutoff of 29.5% yields 31.21% of young Men and 17.15% of young Women qualify. Comparing a male cutoff of 20.5% to a female cutoff of 33.5% yields again 31.21% of young Men but Women now have 33.72% qualifying. So this question of comparability is extremely important.

Here are a couple of visual illustrations of body fat at different percentages, first Women:

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5850b05637c5816bf24b12e1/1515614742435-AOGLD8YSU6N7ZU3Y67OX/Body+Fat+Percentage+-+Female.png

And Men:

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5850b05637c5816bf24b12e1/1515615009820-XDJHS3ESL0UIR9U33B8D/Body+Fat+Percentage.png

I will take suggestions as to what people view as comparable and report the percentages of Men and Women aged 18-28 that qualify under suggested definitions of comparable attractiveness. I currently have the NHANES 2017-2018 data sitting in a dataframe.

NHANES (National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey) data:

https://wwwn.cdc.gov/nchs/nhanes/continuousnhanes/default.aspx?BeginYear=2017

Safinated · 2023-10-19T02:45:53+00:00

Most average or above people are not obese. That’s the whole point

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-19T06:40:49+00:00

In reality, thin people just aren't dating the fatter ones very often. Usually people of a healthy weight don't want to date fat people and use their higher desirability to pair up with each other, that leaves a few healthy weight women as there are more of them who may need to pair up with overweight men. Fat people generally do just pick each other as they can't compete. And women generally face a lot more heat for their weight, even if it's healthy but they're not the right shape or whatever. Men's weight isn't often commented on especially if they're overweight rather than obese. This is why there's more of a focus on telling "Becky" she's not a total piece of shit because of how she looks, otherwise collective bullying is likely to flush her mental health down the toilet.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-19T13:25:21+00:00

Out of all the couples I know personally, most of them are overweight and I wonder where are these people who think they deserve a physically fit person if they are overweight and therefore will not date if they cannot get that?

Are people sure this idea that overweight people refuse to overweight people is not exaggerated?

ROBYoutube · 2023-10-19T01:20:13+00:00

I used to be a middleweight boxer. I am now an old fat mess. I am currently far better at woman-attracting than I was when I was boxing competitively a decade ago.

It's just anecdotal so this definitely won't change your view but I just want to put this out there.

CasseroleTruck · 2023-10-19T02:14:32+00:00

Man I really don't know where you guys live that everyone around you is some fat slovenly abusive fuck trying to get into your pants or if u a man dated land whales who laughed in your face after you paid for dinner and then said it wasn't goin to work out and then she got into a car with a chad out on parole turning in his job app to pizza hut. It would explain all the mentally ill hateful unhinged people on here. I'm not saying it's your fault...just...damn.

Hail_Vercingetorix · 2023-10-19T03:02:05+00:00

Ever try talking to a woman instead of trying to project your own insane thoughts into her head?

tadL · 2023-10-19T07:03:14+00:00

I am fascinated with GenZ issues. Unpopular opinion following

I grow up with two clubfoot. Heavy. So everyone could see disability. Still I made up for it with charming. I got every girl I wanted. I am 40 have two kids.

Good friend of mine was obese still he was charming and got his thin girlfriends. He still obese his wife is in shape. They have 2 children too. 0

I think you GenZ are missing the basics. Clean yourself. Smell good. Dress good. Go out and practice talking to girls.

Most of you sit for sure in front of a console...that you should have got rid of with 16. Get your life together.

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wtknight · 2023-10-19T03:29:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

HolyCopeAmoly · 2023-10-19T08:42:32+00:00

The biggest takeaway from this isnt that everyone's obese, it's that the woman who aren't medically overweight have bmis of around 24 and poor proportions from a sedentary non active life style. People in the 60s-80s were so much more attractive overall.

BlackestOfHammers · 2023-10-19T12:24:09+00:00

I can agree to this to a point. I’ve always been fat but I’ve been blessed with genetics to be muscular as well. One of those rare body types where I could definitely afford to lose a few pounds but you can still see the Bi’s tri’s and chest real good. I’ve never really had too many problems with women after I accepts myself and my body. That being said I know for a fact dating would be that much easier if I knocked off about 100 pounds. I’m 6’4 so I don’t look too fat either besides the belly but if I lost that I would be actually attractive to a lot more women, not just the most attractive at the moment or attractive enough to keep talking to me. I feel like women would do better as well. It’s so extreme for them it’s like only 3 categories. Fat and out of shape, skinny and out of shape and surgery body so they may only work out for recovery or to make sure they don’t need another surgery. The average person would do much better in dating if they lost some weight and got in better shape.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-10-19T14:43:58+00:00

Not everyone who is overweight or obese is going to look overweight or obese. You can be these things technically but it also depends on your body type. There’s way too much variance on what a overweight body can look like.

5’2 Becky might be 200 pounds but if she has a pretty face, big boobs, a small waist, and a big butt, she’ll probably be just fine. If a man is 5’10 okay in the face and stocky (meaning no beer gut and man boobs), he’ll probably be just fine.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-20T15:31:11+00:00

People here are squabbling over which gender has a higher obesity percentage. I dunno. Seems to be roughly equal.

The real issue, which the OP sort of missed, is whether obesity impacts attractiveness asymmetrically. Maybe a soft, sedentary world and lifestyle already tanks male attractiveness. Add in actual obesity and women just don't dig you. At least not young women. And it doesn't matter what her weight is.

OTOH, while men don't like it that women are overweight, they can still be attracted.

Title	The issue with dating today
Author	Gold_Supermarket1956
Upvotes	9
Comments	92
Date	October 19, 2023 12:39 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17b64oa/the_issue_with_dating_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-issue-with-dating-today.1235673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235673

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