Why are people obsessed with having a large quantity of love interests and being the most desirable?

wtknight · 2023-12-24T20:46:55+00:00

Knowing that one has options is better because then one doesn’t feel trapped in a situation. But sure, many people are doing it just for ego purposes.

Able_Ad_5318 · 2023-12-24T21:12:24+00:00

Because both both men and women desire it. Example - look at every single book and movie written for women. The girl in a movie or book always gets the prince- the guy that every other girl wants. You will never see a popular woman's romance book where the main girl dates the guy no other girl wants. Women LOVE being seen by other women as having the most desired man exclusively to herself.

Men want to be desired by multiple women for the same reason, because men know being desired sexually by multiple women will significantly elevate their social standing.

You'll never see women chasing men no other women wants

BigZaddyZ3 · 2023-12-24T21:24:17+00:00

People often want the best in life period. And that includes things like relationships and status as well. Also your example is disingenuous. You can’t be all “oh it’s no better to have 90 losers vs 9 losers” without acknowledging that it’s better to have 10 decent options vs 1 decent options. Also don’t delude yourself and pretend that the most desirable women don’t typically pair off with the most desirable men. So if you want someone who’s top-tier as a partner, the reality is that you’re likely going to have be top- tier yourself as well. These are the reasons people care about it.

Steakman1 · 2023-12-24T20:53:47+00:00

From a man’s perspective, I think if you have a lot of people that want you, there’s a better chance that at least some of them will be desirable. I don’t really know of situations where a guy only has a few options, but they’re all really attractive/desirable. But sure, if metaphorically a guy could choose between 30 unattractive women wanting him or 3 attractive women wanting him, then I think most would pick the 3 attractive women. Either way, it’s easier to be in an abundance mindset when you have abundance. Otherwise you’re just lying to yourself.

But I don’t think most guys are trying to have a dick measuring contest with how many women want them at a time. But for those that do, then yea, they’re probably just desperate for validation.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-12-25T06:15:46+00:00

Simple.

Because as you adequately demonstrate women are colossal shit bags too.

Women don't really need to be proactive about about dating and still can have a chance at a love life. If tey actually do the work to make themselves desirable they can have options and among thse options they can chose to shack up for stability or love or both.

Men get attention sparingly and even if they do the number of shit women are just as high as shit men. What are the chances that the one woman is a good person.

And even if they are good people what are the chances that they are compatible with you?

Dating is a numbers game and if you don't have options then you have no hope.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-12-24T22:12:51+00:00

Why are people obsessed with having a good chance of procreating with high mate-value partners?

gntlbastard · 2023-12-24T22:33:32+00:00

Because in the west the more people you fuck is seen as some sort of badge of honor. The bigger degenerate you are the more attention you can get.

Barely-moral · 2023-12-24T22:03:41+00:00

Why are people obsessed with having a large quantity of love interests and being the most desirable?

Options. The more the merrier.

Gonna be honest, Im getting tired of this sentiment. I can’t see how it’s good to live your life “needing” the most validation from people. It has to be desperation for validation. Otherwise, what good is quantity?Having 90 losers rather 9 losers wanting you is only good if you want losers.

I want a human. More specifically a woman with two xx chromosomes. If those losers fit the bill then I am interested.

Similar to quality over quantity, why do people “need” everyone’s adoration? Why not be fine with a few people liking you and leaving it at that?

Options. The more the merrier

The average person has a family, has friends, has sex, and has a relationship. So what exactly is so bad about not having as much as someone else?

The average person also suffers from divorce. That is when it is good to have options.

Why the comparisons? Because it seems it only leads to misery.

Not as much misery as the one that comes with having no options.

Ich_Habe_Genug · 2023-12-24T22:19:06+00:00

When you find the one, you don't want anyone else, they're everything to you, and who even cares what others think anymore? I hope everyone reaches that place. For some, especially younger people, and especially those suffering from poor self-esteem, being desired is an ego boost, although not a particularly effective or consistent one. There are a number of personality disorders, all deriving from feeling unloved at core, which foster promiscuity, because those who have it crave validation, love and affection and feel it'll never be enough.

AnalSexIsTheBest34 · 2023-12-24T21:27:34+00:00

Why are people obsessed with having a large quantity of love interests and being the most desirable?

Who?

(Popular group) is always gonna do better than (medicore group).

What does this mean?

I can’t see how it’s good to live your life “needing” the most validation from people. It has to be desperation for validation.

It isn't good, but lacking healthy self-esteem.

Why not be fine with a few people liking you and leaving it at that?

It's likely because they don't feel those people genuinely like them, but "settle" for them since they can't find anything better.

So what exactly is so bad about not having as much as someone else?

Because they feel inferior and of less value.

Live-Maize6410 · 2023-12-24T21:58:20+00:00

I don’t think most people honestly do. I could be wrong but I think you’re talking about a minority of people who need validation. Not everyone is like that, man or woman.

SilentFroggy · 2023-12-24T23:23:21+00:00

To summarize: We humans are a competitive species and are desperate to be first place compared to others.

Neptune-Jnr · 2023-12-25T01:58:01+00:00

Mediocre is starting to mean 1 date every five years it feels like.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-25T10:50:02+00:00

I don't know too. I want just ONE, real connection...

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-24T22:28:38+00:00

Because they lack the most important adoration of all: their own!

Siliconmage76 · 2023-12-25T17:24:45+00:00

There is nothing wrong with high self esteem or seeking validation from others as long as you contribute the same or better. It's a simple equation.

While you'll have some egotistical pepper mixed in with the salt. Outside validation and a feeling of belonging is a vital social need for those single and without a family of their own at least.

I don't mind to say it. I am an attention whore. I get a big adrenaline and dopamine hit when I make a pretty girl laugh or smile. I get a kick out of partaking in group conversations and small talk. I have a blast socializing and get depressed if I can't do it because the alternative is a night in alone with Reddit patholgizing my own psyche. I'm good on that.

Uglypostwall · 2023-12-25T04:01:48+00:00

> Why are people obsessed with having a large quantity of love interests and being the most desirable?

Men not people

AutoModerator · 2023-12-24T20:31:34+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

OptimisticOctopus8 · 2023-12-24T21:50:51+00:00

If I'm looking for a recipe and I see that it has 2 reviews, both 5 stars, I'm still not going to trust that recipe as much as I'd trust one with an average of 4.5 stars after 3 thousand reviews. The more people like something, the more reliably you can assume it's good - in theory.

Often, it doesn't work out that way, but I think we humans just naturally feel like that's how things work. So if you don't have a high amount of internally generated self-esteem, you will likely wish for many people to desire you. And if you are looking for a partner, you'll likely assume that somebody who's desirable to many others is high quality, the same way I assume that a recipe many other people love is a good recipe.

Again, it often doesn't work out that way. Often, a lot of people are wrong, wrong, wrong about whether something is good. But this stuff happens on a deep emotional level. It's not like most of us actually know why we want what we want.

HighGroundDweller · 2023-12-24T22:11:18+00:00

I’d take just one lmfao

Hard_Corsair · 2023-12-25T01:47:35+00:00

"What is Will to Power?"

"That is correct!"

"I'll take Philosophy Cheesesteak for $800"

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2023-12-25T17:55:13+00:00

Eh those aren't quality people anyway.

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-12-25T20:15:23+00:00

Options

Uncle_Nate0 · 2023-12-26T15:18:06+00:00

You act like it's a conscious choice. It's probably just their nature.

RorschachRosettes · 2023-12-27T21:52:21+00:00

I AGREE. And this is the point I keep making to people who insist they struggle with dating because they don't embody an ideal. You don't have to embody an ideal, you just have to appeal to someone that fucking likes you. Learn to appeal to a smaller/niche group, don't worry about appealing to the masses - find your fucking tribe, so to speak.

It's just amazing to me when people who haven't achieved an ounce of status, popularity or attractiveness grow upset at now having achieved those things at their maximum potential. I think that people who have achieved some semblance of status, popularity and attractiveness understand this and don't really feel much of a desire to reach the very top echelons of society because, well, they're happy with what they've got and what they're getting.

To be honest? It's narcissistic. There's this idea that the only people who are capable of narcissism are beautiful and highly successful people....but I would actually argue that the majority of narcissists in this world are the angry loser in his mother's basement who's done fuck all with his life, crying about how life is utterly unfair because he's not king of the world.

Like, its narcissism if you are a man who gets 0 action, 0 play, but feel like you've been robbed of your birthright to superior rare genetics and feel like you're missing out on pussy slayage that you're owed.

Title	Why are people obsessed with having a large quantity of love interests and being the most desirable?
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	6
Comments	62
Date	December 24, 2023 8:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18q37x0/why_are_people_obsessed_with_having_a_large/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-people-obsessed-with-having-a-large.1241579 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241579

Comments