Is the "texting is for logistics only"-Mindset really still applicable these days?

borderline_autistic1 · 2022-09-20T16:56:40+00:00

Anecdotally, ever since I stopped trying so hard to have conversations with the girls whose info I got and just stopped fuckin around and srarted asking for a date in a couple messages it has been working out way better for me

So I think it's good advice. I am wasting less time talking to girls who aren't that interested and more quickly getting on dates with the ones I am.

No-Platform-2184 · 2022-09-20T17:45:06+00:00

I text slightly more than just “logistics” but I don’t try to have long text chats before a few dates. That being said, if she’s chatty and wants to talk a lot, I tend to respond so not to put her off.

Dortmund_Himmel · 2022-09-20T17:37:25+00:00

Don't get to know a girl through texting, and becareful not to talk yourself out of the room via text. I try to keep it logistical until I know she's showing high interest.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-09-20T18:33:19+00:00

Like most rules here, it's an oversimplification intended to help rookies avoid common mistakes.

When you don't have much of a dating life, text chats can give the illusion that you're getting somewhere while completely avoiding the emotionally risky things like eye contact and physical escalation.

It's usually fool's gold... The rookie ends up becoming very emotionally invested while the woman starts thinking of him as just a friend or loses interest completely. It doesn't end well.

The full lesson is that texting has it's place in the dating world, but it's complicated and it does NOT replace dates and physical escalation. Don't hide behind your phone.

InfoVariety-8842 · 2022-09-20T17:49:03+00:00

I personally like to text a lot (“a lot” = at least a quick convo daily or semi-daily). My thoughts are that: (a) although not universal, it is a show of interest on her part if she writes interesting replies and continues the conversation, and it shows that she’s an interesting person to talk to (b) I’m comfortable with “losing” someone if they don’t like something I say via text. It’s the same stuff I’d say in person. Just flake now if you’re going to do it and spare me the trouble and (c) if it develops into an actual relationship I want someone who actually keeps up via text, because that’s how we’ll be communicating a lot and frankly a lot of people suck at it, even with good friends. It seems stupid to meet someone, never text with them, then expect at some point they’ll change, because you’re now “important enough” or whatever.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-20T17:25:06+00:00

whatever works for you, cool.

personally, i consider it a skill that has benefits that far outweigh the time investment so i fuck with it.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-20T18:30:54+00:00

I feel like some of the advice people still give about texting is very "early 2000s".

That's exactly what it is and guys who still parrot it in this day and age are guys who don't actually get many girls and simply spout "theory" from their favourite mentors online.

The fact of the matter is girls live on their phones now and if you're not keeping in touch with them + using text/socials to maintain their investment, they are going to forget about you and lose interest in you, especially if you just go radio silent as soon as you set up a date for several days later.

This doesn't mean hit them up every single day and bombard them with texts, it means have a conversation and check in on them every now and then leading up to your date. Connecting on IG makes this easier since you can comment on their stories and they can comment on yours, but it's still doable with just a number.

Back when texting people meant having to press number keys on your flip phone several times just to type one letter, that advice was relevant. Now that you can send pictures, videos, gifs, and links, it simply does not apply anymore. Texting is so much more than letters on a screen now and you should 100% be taking advantage of it when it comes to seduction.

Yerebeets · 2022-09-20T21:43:04+00:00

No it is not. If you send 1 or 2 messages a day to a girl, she will forget about you, unless you really make her sugar walls leak. Keep a normal conversation, escalate to the date asap and then just wing it from there

bliblup · 2022-09-20T18:50:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

staggerlee718 · 2022-09-20T20:16:05+00:00

Of course it's stupid advice. Women are totally NOT into men who are unavailable, mysterious and possible off doing another chick. They totally don't spend all their time wondering where he is and what he's up to and who he is doing.

Icy_Rub1839 · 2022-09-20T20:21:43+00:00

It's good to keep in regular contact, particularly these days when women have dating apps, IG and FB meaning that you could be replaced easily.

You don't have to go overboard, just send her things you know she'll like (like a funny meme) and say it reminds you of her.

Mikhail_Faustin08 · 2022-09-20T21:39:37+00:00

I mean I view it as just another form of communication. If anything it lets you be a bit more expressive and it’s kind of a good sign if you can connect with someone by text alone. This mindset is quite outdated imo

Additional_Plant_539 · 2022-09-20T22:06:59+00:00

Applies more than ever. A lot of tinder matches are seeking only validation. That may mean 90% rejection rate but it also means you didn't have a chance of a daye with those girls anyways and you just saved yourself a lot of time.

ChicoBrillo · 2022-09-21T01:20:47+00:00

Most “rules” are for newbies and people just say it because a newbie is more prone to over texting. Once you have some experience, the “rules” don’t matter as much

Moldy_Gecko · 2022-09-21T11:16:04+00:00

I never did text for logistics only. Neither did I have in-depth conversations. Build a small amount of rapport to make them comfortable with meeting up.

EatUhFrank · 2022-09-20T21:45:22+00:00

For me no, it’s never ending conversation until we hang. I can’t just text them to hang that shit never works.

I tried to let conversation die out by responding with one or two words. That allows them to leave me on “read” or “delivered”. I even told a girl I will talk to her later, and she just continued to text me for a month straight.

Ideally though I want to limit the amount of attention I give them over the phone. Because most of times I ended up with just attention whores/pad pales which lead nowhere.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-09-20T17:02:18+00:00

In the context of dating, I keep texting to the bare minimum to set up and confirm dates. Me and my GF didn’t really start texting like that until we started sleeping together lol. All that gettin to know ya chit chat can be had over a drink at the bar.

If we gotta talk in between it would be over the phone or FaceTiming rather than texting.

Exmerus · 2022-09-20T19:55:43+00:00

It's cultural. In North America / Europe texting is not important in seduction. Women are unresponsive and emotionless via text, but in person their attitude most of the time is completely different.

In Latin America, texting is king. You can make women legit fall in love just texting.

FantasyAnnie · 2022-09-20T20:00:04+00:00

Works for the first or second date. After that base it off the vibe you feel from the person.

But just using texting for logistics helps filter the girls who never serious about meeting up anyway

yiggaman · 2022-09-20T22:45:40+00:00

All these women are different. You can't follow every rule without adapting to the woman you want. You don't want to turn into a computer that just repeats. You have to take the knowledge in and apply it to your unique experience. Don't be afraid to tweak the teachings

invaderjif · 2022-09-20T22:59:59+00:00

I feel like texting with someone is like reading a book, while having a phone call or talking to them in person is analogous to listening to an audiobook or watching a movie.

What I mean is, when you read the texts, your mind is filling in the blanks in respect to tone and other respects which may or may not apply. Once you've spoken to the person you get a better profile of how they talk (tone, inflection etc).

After meeting at least once, or speaking to them on the phone, I don't think there is anything wrong with regularly texting. But if you haven't heard their voice or had a conversation in person, I feel like things are lost.

ChampionshipStock870 · 2022-09-21T01:16:40+00:00

Everybody has it wrong on this. You need to get dates early in the relationship to build a true connection. Once you get a few dates in then the texts will start to increase and you adjust accordingly while still pushing for in person dates

auntLIITTiya · 2022-09-21T02:56:16+00:00

No - you gotta vet these girls a little before rushing for the date. Jamie Date on TikTok

Legitimate-Public982 · 2022-09-21T03:19:31+00:00

I have it mentioned on my dating app profile. Before first date, texting is mostly for logistics for me. And that works well!

didled · 2022-09-21T03:51:54+00:00

I only text if I’m actually dating a girl, keeping it to logistics just works better in my experience

Vulturo · 2022-09-21T04:01:19+00:00

True for the most part. Texting and social media is generally a waste of time.

Dr_RxRedpill · 2022-09-21T04:43:15+00:00

Just don’t be a foodie call, and you’ll be good.

Foodie call for those who haven’t heard of it: https://youtu.be/u6WV7zWhEYs

SolidPuzzleheaded984 · 2022-09-21T05:30:10+00:00

Nah she’s either interested or isn’t.

neversleeps212 · 2022-09-21T06:08:28+00:00

I think the line is pre-dates vs post date(s). Text isn’t the best way of making a first impression on someone so try to limit the texting before a first date to mostly logistics. After a date or two, text is a way to show someone you’re thinking about them, stay on their radar and build anticipation for the next date and obviously as you go on more and more dates it’s natural to begin texting more frequently. But it’s still important to make sure you’re not being overly needy (eg always being the one to initiate, texting back way more quickly, or sending more/longer texts than the other person).

Future_Shop_384 · 2022-09-21T15:15:44+00:00

I've read a lot of seduction material. Tried it. Doesn't work. Convinced 90% of the advice is garbage and the community preaches toxic traits like 'be alpha', 'make more money', and 'go to the gym' if you fail

chillbill1220 · 2022-09-21T15:38:53+00:00

In my experience you have to gauge it based on the girl’s texting style. There are some girls that like to constantly ask “how was your day?” or “what are you up to?”. These are very boring topics and I find it difficult to have an interesting convo with these girls outside of logistics.

However there are other girls that can keep a witty/flirty convo going all day. With these girls I don’t mind the constant texting as it builds/maintains attraction.

nuc1earwessels · 2022-09-21T16:33:46+00:00

You gotta find that bare minimum where you text enough to show interest, but not so much that you're telling her about your day before you even meet/fuck.

rattled_by_rush · 2022-09-21T16:43:24+00:00

As someone who mostly texts for logistics, I find that it rarely tanks my odds but it does feel a little awkward sometimes to not make at least some small talk between dates. I'm still trying to figure out the most minimal amount I can text without hurting my chances and how exactly to do it. I think the move is probably check in every day or every other day with a light joke or reference to something we had mentioned before. Let that spark a conversation, then let it burn itself out as quickly as possible. Play along but don't try to stretch it out. Then set up a date.

TheTruth221 · 2022-09-21T16:52:35+00:00

its good practice

2022-09-22T15:25:25+00:00

Yes. You don’t build attraction over a screen. I might have some light conversation over text but it’s always geared towards meeting up in person. I’ll ask 3 times max. If she refuses 3 times (“omg I’m soooo busy lol”, “aaahhh sorry todays not a good day” or whatever other bullshit) I move on, especially if there’s no follow up like “hey I can’t today how about next Tuesday?”.

If you’re texting all the time you’re just a friend.

Title	Is the "texting is for logistics only"-Mindset really still applicable these days?
Author	bliblup
Upvotes	77
Comments	70
Date	September 20, 2022 4:44 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xjdt21/is_the_texting_is_for_logistics_onlymindset/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-the-texting-is-for-logistics-only-mindset.1249669 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249669

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