The Friend Zone Myth.

vinniedamac · 2013-02-04T13:14:05+00:00

If you're decent looking and have a good personality, and you hang out with the same group of people, it's really just a matter of time, provided you don't give her too much attention.

Speaking from experience, there are multiple close friends in my circle that I've dated that initially rejected me but eventually fell for me once I started dating other girls.

InfiniteBlink · 2013-02-04T14:14:09+00:00

I've dated 2 girls that I was just friends with at the outset. All I really had to do was turn on the attraction. I have another friend who's attracted to me now too because I just turned on the attraction with her. That's the only difference. Being hopelessly in love with female friend is what puts you in the friendzone. Working from the angle of there being sexual tension transfers into there being actual sexual tension.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2013-02-04T10:31:21+00:00

I shoot for the friend zone quite a bit. I work well from there.

poorbuffalo · 2013-02-04T15:11:04+00:00

I've always said the friend zone is a nice way of saying she was never really interested.

jacobman · 2013-02-04T13:19:41+00:00

It's both. The friend zone is a place that a girl puts you in based upon certain characteristics (that don't always seem fair since they don't necessarily reward characteristics in the same way that we normally value those characteristics in society. For example being confident is more important than being a really nice person), but since we technically have control over our words and actions, we can choose to change our habits in order to more likely to exhibit the really attractive qualities. The problem with the "friend zone" comes down to first impressions. If you start of giving your relationship a certain anti-relationship vibe, it's much harder to overcome that first impression. Being in the friend zone doesn't mean that you're stuck. It just means that you have an uphill battle to overcome the current vibe.

bythepowerofthor · 2013-02-04T17:10:31+00:00

You know, I've been that guy desperately trying to steer clear of the friendzone. Recently though I was told by a very close female friend of mine that we have to hook up before I move out of state. A little back story I guess is needed. I worked with this chick for a couple months and we as well as my other coworkers grew pretty close. I've always been very sexual with all of them and just kept things very light and fun.

She's told me on countless occasions how much she adores me and that she was devastated when they (I mean the restaurant I was working at) fired me.

It's all in the way you set things up, and how you carry yourself.

Best piece of advice I can give is never take yourself or life too seriously. You can laugh at everything, people(girls especially) love that. Stay happy my friends.

bumblebeeez · 2013-02-04T14:52:26+00:00

It's true. I have been lifting weights and my close friends that friend-zone me seem more attentive now.

FountainsOfFluids · 2013-02-04T16:14:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

xBugsBunny · 2013-02-04T10:00:15+00:00

enlightenment

2013-02-04T11:20:51+00:00

Only in the sense that he wasn't attractive enough.

He still wanted her, she didn't want him. She put him in the friendzone.

2013-02-04T15:54:52+00:00

I thought this was an appropiate video to leave here! Science of Friendzones. Have a look! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGK2KprU-To

DickDraper · 2013-02-04T16:10:23+00:00

You just make the girl feel like she is friendzoned. Blur emotional boundaries (which is most often the case in opposite sex friendships). Let her perceive that someone else is interested. Then you're in.

Edit: Spelling

PhedreRachelle · 2013-02-04T18:40:28+00:00

It's also a myth because not all girls will be in to you. There are techniques that will work on a large number of women, you can build your confidence, dress well, keep clean, play all your cards right. There will still be those girls that are not interested, who "friend zone" you, and that will sometimes be for no other reason than that is the most they would ever be interested in.

Just want to point that out. I know you guys in here are not the culprits, but I am sick of the whole "why won't these bitches date me?" mentality

MonkeySteriods · 2013-02-04T16:09:29+00:00

You haven't debunked the friendzone, he got out of the friendzone, and ended up getting back with the girl.

DiscreteOpinion · 2013-02-04T20:18:06+00:00

I've found that when a girl says that, it's because she's become acutely aware of the sexual tension between the two of you, but you just haven't struck the right chord yet. If she didn't have positive feelings for you, she wouldn't want to stay your friend.

Though be aware... There is a huge difference between wanting to stay your friend and being submissive by nature or simply "too nice" (or too dumb to stand up for herself) who is only that to try and get you to back off. There is a big difference between playing coy and these types of women's way of saying "please leave me alone you gross mother fucker" - so don't be the asshole who confuses the two. If she gives you one word answers or rarely returns your calls and texts and doesn't say hello to you when in social situations - leave her the fuck alone.

That said... Women who read this: don't be that woman! A simple, "I'm not interested, would you please respect that?" goes a long way to saving yourself a lot of trouble. Then stand behind your decision.

whitecable · 2013-02-04T21:29:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Crislips · 2013-02-04T23:02:05+00:00

I met a girl a long time ago and I got friendzoned. It really sucked because I was totally in love with this girl, but she just became one of my best friends, and I had to accept we wouldn't be more than that. Years later we started fucking and then we started dating and it's been the best relationship i've ever had. It's hard to get out of the friendzone but if you can it's fucking great.

mistabeon · 2013-02-05T04:23:29+00:00

I've always thought "friendzone" was a clear euphemism for "not sexually attractive." No guy is to every girl, but you can certainly do things (dressing well, working out, or simply acting more confident) to increase the number of women that find you sexually attractive. Some women find you unattractive in ways you can never fix, but there are still plenty that can be convinced.

eroriguez93 · 2013-02-05T06:02:50+00:00

Im going to say I agree with you. There was a post a while ago about friendzoning the girl. Did it to an HB8 I had been talking to just to experiment. Next day I got her into bed. Worked wonderfully.

kdelamont · 2013-02-05T14:24:52+00:00

The classic case of friendzone is more to do with how guys friendzone the girl than the other way around. I have many a time broken out of the friendzone, it just takes a little bit of tact and time sometimes.

In fact, I tend to enjoy that period that most guys think is friendzoned - its in reality a period where people are investing in each other and figuring each other out, and it can be really great to build a foundation here that leads to intense romance.

futuremo · 2013-02-04T20:47:08+00:00

Oh look, the weekly friendzone thread!

puaCurveBall · 2013-02-04T16:01:09+00:00

Restate something seduction has known for 10years and often posted about, with vague story about friends = upvotes all around!

Yes, of course you put yourself there, but this has been discussed many times over and isn't controversial in the slightest.

2013-02-04T23:21:08+00:00

From personal experience, I could see this girl trying to put me in the friendzone bc she had a long distance bf but still wanted to hang out. First chance I got I asked her to have dinner with me and made things a little uncomfortable. I reminded her I wasn't a dickless eunuch, I also wanted to really hang out with her bc we had things in common as well. I don't feel friendzoned, and I think I'm doing well to see where it goes. And yes she had dinner and drinks with me.

whitecable · 2013-02-05T14:58:59+00:00

I think friend-zone is bashed so much upon because a man who put himself in a friend-zone is unable to get out of it by definition.

Suddenly throw a seasoned seducer in a friend-zone however, and he will be thankful to you for that, as it will make his job ten times easier as compared to cold approach / starting from scratch.

redpillschool · 2013-02-04T15:31:18+00:00

Friendzone is a real place for sure, but you're right- it's your actions that get you there.

AaronStevens · 2013-02-04T19:38:19+00:00

We are all in the friend zone of course, where would you start otherwise? The friend zone is not a bad thing, you have to be there first if you want to have a relationship with someone (unless it's a girl you picked up at a bar and she's just there for a one night stand). All that bullshit about guys crying about being in the friendzone need to man the fuck up and accept it, become better friends with her and eventually both might start to get feelings for each other, and then it's time to do all your sexy things. Of course it is not guaranteed that you will end up in a relationship with every girl you become friends with, but that would be a ridiculous thing to believe.

Ineeni · 2013-02-04T21:14:59+00:00

I've had a similar experience with a twist:

I've been doing a lot of the things mentioned in this subbreddit for about four months now. I was a beta and a typical nice guy. I have since become very alpha in a group of friends.

Particularly, a girl I was crushing on really hard and her friend both friend zoned me. As I changed their feelings changed. When I no longer was the safe guy it frightened them. One responded by directing her hate towards me. It so happened to be the one I crushed on I was so bad I was trying to fix this broken hot girl it was scary how many demons came out. The friend responded by telling me she wanted a relationship with me after seeing her treat me this way. I hit them back with the friendzone. The fact that they were denied, then both of them. Sent them into an uproar of bitchiness and insecurity. Beware.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-02-04T14:51:39+00:00

You're new here, aren't you.

Title	The Friend Zone Myth.
Author	DrunkAtTheWedding
Upvotes	381
Comments	125
Date	February 4, 2013 9:58 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/17uzin/the_friend_zone_myth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-friend-zone-myth.1346865 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346865

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