This is a new one for me. I thought some of you guys might find it interesting. If nothing else this experience gave me a glimpse into what it's like to be a girl who has AFC's hitting on her and how that would color her response and receptiveness to any new person approaching her. On to the story.

About a month ago I started frequenting a bar on my way home from work. I like the bartender and the vibe is really laid back. I'd estimate I've stopped in about 3 times a week for the last month. I realized pretty quickly who the regulars were and ended up becoming friends/acquaintances with several of them. It's a diverse crowd. They span from 60 year old men to 21 year old girls. In keeping with the whole idea of self improvement I made an effort to talk to everyone. In the past I might have just talked to certain people who I thought were in my age range and generally my type. By talking to everyone and essentially treating them all the same, I found myself and my conversation to be more relaxed, natural, and fun. There was no effort involved. I was having fun and by extension became a fun person to be around.

Several of the girls I met there became flirty with me at one point or another. Depending on my mood sometimes I'd flirt back and other times I wouldn't. Like I said I was mostly just enjoying the dynamic I described above and didn't have any strong interest in any of these girls. It was just a fun place to unwind after work.

One day one of these girls (Let's call her K) was there with her friend. She introduced me and we hung out for a few hours. They said they were going to a bar down the street and asked me to come along. I told them I should probably go home but they insisted so I went. When we get there K completely ignores her friend and just talks to me to the point that it felt awkward. K is very flirty and makes a couple of pointed comments and sexual jokes. I didn't respond to or reciprocate any of it. I liked hanging out with her but I wasn't interested in her. I figured she'd get the clue. I finished my drink and said goodnight.

The next week I'm back at the after work bar. K is there among many other regulars and general clientele. We say hi and chat. I tell her I'm heading out soon and she says she is too. She's going to meet her friend at the other bar just like last week. She asks me to come. I could use one more drink so I go. On the walk over she tells me I must not be too smart because I'm not picking up on the fact that she's been hitting on me. I tell her I have picked up on it but that I'm seeing someone. She seems cool with it.

We get to the next bar and have a drink with her friend. I'm talking to her friend and K is sitting with her arms crossed, looking at the floor, and pouting. I ask her if she doesn't like my conversation. She says "no, but I don't like what you said earlier." I said you mean that I'm seeing someone? Are you kidding? At this point she started ranting the most insane shit I've ever heard. She starts calling me an asshole and says "if that was the case you should have shut me down the second I started talking to you." She looks at her friend and says "he knew I liked him. why would he do this to me?" Her voice gets louder and louder until she's basically yelling. She looks at me and says "I think you better finish your drink and leave." I say I'll leave when I'm ready. "No. Get the fuck out now! Get the fuck out!!!!" When she realizes I'm not leaving she storms off and leaves her friend there. It was like she turned into a completely different person the second I told her I was seeing someone.

I'm basically in shock. I end up having a good conversation with her friend until about a half hour later when K comes back. I thought she might have had the chance to calm down and was going to apologize. Nope. She looks at her friend and says "What the fuck is he still doing here?" I tell her I honestly don't understand why she's so upset. Again she looks at her friend and says "is he serious? HE FOLLOWS ME TO BARS and now he won't leave? he's crazy!!!" Her friend was visibly embarrassed. At this point I had enough and left.

I left feeling really pissed off. Not because of the rant itself but because I felt like for a month I had been interacting with people from a grounded, natural, outcome independent place and in return I get screamed at by someone who is completely outcome dependent and is only interacting with me because they want something.