Ever find yourself in the position where you're getting any of the following responses from women when you try to escalate?

  • "I'm not that sort of girl"
  • "It's too soon, I don't even know you"
  • "I don't do that sort of thing until the 4th date"

Why do you think this happens?

Clue: It's not because she's not attracted enough to you. It's not because she isn't interested in you. And it's not because she's a prude who doesn't want sex either.

As we all know on here, women love sex. Probably more than we do (god I'd love to be a woman for a day and find out what having a clitoris is like, but I digress)...

What these girls are telling you is that they don't feel SAFE enough with you to just let go.

Remember, girls face more risks from having sex than we do:

  • pregnancy
  • judgement from friends
  • judgement from herself (she doesn't see herself as that kind of girl)
  • judgement from you (you might see her as a slut, and go off high fiving the bros and bragging about this slut you banged last night)

So as I've mentioned in other posts, it's important you frame yourself as the 'fun adventurer' type of guy as opposed to the 'provider male'.

She needs to feel that she can let go with you, and let her full sexual desires bubble to the surface and you won't judge her.

This is the key - non judgement.

You are the untamable wanderer. The guy she knows she can have lots of fun with, but who won't necessarily stick around forever.

You're the guy she has awesome sex with while she carries on seeking Mr Right. After all, why should she be bored with no sex just because she hasn't met 'the one' yet? And yes, I do discuss this kind of thing with girls.

You're the guy who not only is ok with her being highly sexual and sharing all her filthy inner fantasies with you, you actually WANT and encourage her to do that. No matter how intense that shit gets, you're cool with it. Even if it's not something that flicks the light on for you, you don't judge it. It's just a preference, you like strawberry ice cream, I prefer chocolate. Neither one of us is wrong.

Because when you start doing this, you WILL hear some intense crazy shit. Some of this will shock you. Some of the this stuff comes out of the mouths of the sweetest looking girls.

So when she tells you about her super intense rape fantasy involving 5 big alpha males, it's crucially important that you don't suddenly go all weird and judgemental. It's just a fantasy. If you don't find that appealing, you just say 'well that doesn't really flick the light on for me, but it's cool if you like it.'

When she tells you these things and you're cool about it, she suddenly starts seeing you as the guy she can let go with. Be totally sexually free with. You'll be out with her in a bar or restaurant and she'll want to suck you off in the bathroom, just because she's horny.

But she would never have expressed that desire if you hadn't already made it safe for her to do so. She can let it all out with you, and nobody will ever know.

What would it be like if you realised that every girl out there has all this untapped sexual desire? All of this intense, rampant horny sexuality that she is craving to be able to run free and play with? What would the possibilities be like for you?

Think of yourself as being a 'free pass' for her to pour out her sexual desire onto. Every other guy comes with baggage. He'll either tell everyone what a slut she is, or not be able to handle her full sexuality, or get jealous if she tells him fantasises involving other men, or he'll fall in love with her after 2 dates and now she's responsible for not breaking his heart.

It's harder than you'd think for a girl to get genuinely good no-strings sex with a man, without complications.

So how do we set this up?

Well I talk a lot with the girl about my opinions on sex. And how women should never be slut-shamed for being sexual - as it's the way we are made as humans. If she agrees with that, I just go deeper. For example:

"You're with me now. You never have to give me the 'I'm not that sort of girl' speech that you give to every other guy. I know that deep down, let's be honest, you're a very sexual person. And that's probably not something you share with every guy, I bet? But with me, I want you to know that you're safe to do that. In fact I want to hear it all. I don't get why guys judge girls for being sexual - I mean that's how we are made as humans, right? So when you're with me, we just do whatever we feel like, without having to worry about following the rule book, and the rest of the world will never have a fucking clue about it. How does that sound?"

The notion of 'throwing away the rule book' is very powerful. I recommend you play around with this. It's like giving her the permission to be naughty with you. You're like the secret super sweet sticky toffee pudding she gorges down at home when she's telling all her friends she's eating salad.

Talking about things in this way gives the message 'I don't slut shame. I don't judge. You can do anything with me and you're safe'.

And the threesomes? Well that just comes up as normal discussion (usually on a first date as well). I just ask, like I'm asking her about the weather 'so are you into girls too? It would be a plus if you were.'

If she says anything other than 'absolutely not, that's disgusting'...then you'll basically in, and you have something to work with.

The great thing is, when you set your relationship up in this way from the beginning, this is how it is, even if things get serious. Whereas if you set yourself up as the provider male that she has to pretend to be the sweet innocent girl with, you can never turn it around.

Many women are looking for the guy who they can let it all out with. It's a lot of fun when you become that guy.

EDIT: I wouldn't normally try to sell my services on here (because I'm genuinely here to give value), but since this topic is really engaging folk, if you like what I've put here, I've gone into mega detail about how to do this on a first date in particular, in something I call 'The Sexual Gentleman'. You can find out more here: http://wotg.wayofthegentleman.net/the-sexual-gentleman