Long time lurker. Occassional poster. Over 200 sexual partners. Current status: engaged to a beautiful, sexy, wonderful woman and member of the swinger lifestyle.

One of the things that changed my romantic life early on was realizing the difference between getting some pussy and giving some dick.

When I was young, dumb, and full of cum, all I every tried to do was find hot girls who were willing to have sex with me. It was one of the few reasons I got out of bed in the morning. I was a dog I heat.

And while I had marginal success, I always felt like I was putting in most of the leg work. I was the one calling/texting. I was the one trying to make the plans and set things up. I was the one putting in the effort.

Sure, many women were receptive to my advances, but I wanted to feel desired and sought after. I grew tired of being the hunter... I wanted to know what it was like to be the prey.

Enter "Jasmine"; 5'4", hazel eyes, phat ass, perky breasts, and a delightful smile.

We met at work. As soon as I saw her, I wanted her.

And so did almost every other man in the office.

Every day, I would see her sitting with another guy during lunch, pretending to be interested in whatever they were going on about, faking the smile, playing with her phone while they spoke, etc.

So I did what all the other guys didnt... I ignored her.

Not rude or stand-offish, but when she would enter a room, I'd excuse myself. When she's joined a conversation, I'd go silent. I would say "Hello" or "Good Morning" when we past one another in the halls. I'd smile and be polite. But I didn't really engage her, especially not the way most men chase after women they are interested in.

So one afternoon, I'm sitting alone at a table in the break room for lunch.

"May I join you?"

I look up and see Jasmine standing there with her tray. "Sure."

She sits down and opens with small talk. "Busy day? You see that one girl with all the balloons on her desk? I guess it's her birthday..." Etc.

I smile and nod, but again, don't really engage.

She gets bold "Can I ask why you don't like me?"

"What makes you think I don't like you?"

"Well, you never really talk to me and when ever I come around, I feel like you make it a point to go the other way."

A laughed. "I'm not ready."

"Ready for what?"

"For you to break my heart."

This time, she laughed. "What makes you think I'm going to break your heart?"

"Just a hunch."

We finished lunch and had a good conversation that ended with her giving me her number.

We talked more that evening and the next day, she made a point to come in and say good morning to me before starting work.

That weekend, we went out. I took her to dinner and then we saw a movie. Afterwards, I took her home and we made out on her steps. Things got pretty heated and she asked if I wanted to come inside. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her long and deep, massaging her back, her ass, and squeezing her breasts. "Yes." I kissed her again. "Good night."

And I left.

When I was half way home, she sent me a picture of her wet pussy and the words "See what you did!"

We went out again a few days later, this time mini-golf. At one point, we found a picnic table and had a full blown make out session that involved me fingering her to climax.

Afterwards, I took her home, kissed her goodnight, and again, I left.

Now, at this point, most of you are probable saying "What a dumbass! She was clearly into you and wanted sex. Why make her wait?"

Be patient...

The next day at work, she comes over to my desk and says "I want to make you dinner tonight. Wanna come to my place around seven?"

I accept.

When I arrived at seven, she opened the door in a red bra and panty set and heels. She literally pulled me in and pushed me on the couch and climbed on top of me. She started kissing me and unbuttoning my shirt and whispered "Fuck me!"

And I did. For hours.

Our love affair lasted the better part of a decade, with us being on again/off again. I've meet few women I was so sexually in tune with.

So I started to wonder if that experience was unique? If maybe she was just so narcissistic that the idea of a man not desiring her sexually was just something she couldn't handle.

Enter "Elizabeth"; 5'8", big brown doe eyes, full breasts, long legs, curly hair. We meet at a bookstore. I grabbed a copy of "Questions about love and sex", sat at a table next to her, and eventually asked her name and a question from the book. We talked and asked each other questions and eventually exchanged numbers. We talked every day for a week before we finally hung out.

When I picked her up for our lunch date, the first thing I did was kiss her. Deep and slow. "I've been wanting to do that all week."

We went to lunch, talked, flirted, kissed, and then I took her home. She called me the next evening and asked if I was busy and if she could come over. I agreed and she came over. We ordered pizza, watched a movie, and made out. She was down to just her panties when I told her we needed to take a break.

"Dude...WTF?? Why would you stop her when you know she's ready, willing and able?"

She got dressed and went home. We talked some more and she asked why I stopped her. "You're not ready." I teased.

"What does that mean?" She asked.

"Well... you know I'm going to fuck your brains out. I just don't want you to be all in my bushes stalking me afterwards."

She laughed it off and we continued to talk and flirt and sext.

The weekend came. She called and asked if she could come over. I agreed.

She showed up in a long black coat (it was June in SoCal), knee high black boots... And that's it. We had amazing sex on the couch.... then the floor... then the bed.

We parted ways a year later.

Maybe I'm on to something...

Enter "Amelia"; 5'5", amazing eyes, huge breasts. I was working as a server in a restaurant. She came in with her mom and sister and sat in my section. I joked with the table and flirted with her, and before she left, her MOM wrote down Amelias number and gave it to me. I called. We talked... And made plans to have dinner on the weekend.

We went out and are sitting, eating, and talking, and I remember her saying something about most of the men she talked to only talking about sex and trying to get her to come over, etc.

"Well, the last thing you need is one more guy trying to get in your pants, so maybe we should just be friends."

"Are you saying you don't want to have sex with me?"

"Girl, I'd fuck the shit outta you... But it's not that big a deal. We can just be friends. It's cool."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. You're gonna fuck me."

"Hahaha. Am I?"

"Yes."

I didn't relent. "No... let's just be friends."

She shrugged.

We finished talking and eating. We get in my truck. "Where are we going now?" She asked.

"I'm taking you home. Don't want you out past curfew."

She unfastened her seatbelt and climbed over to me, kissing me and grabbing for my cock.

I stopped kissing her long enough to say "I thought we were just going to be friends..."

"And I said 'no'." She undid my pants and took me in her mouth. And when I was rock hard and throbbing, she said "Take me somewhere and fuck me."

And I did.

She proposed to me six months later.

All if these experiences made me understand that women desire sex just as much, and in some instances, MORE than men. The problem is that most men only focus on the sex. They try to rush to the finish line (so to speak), without warming up the engine.

Women want to have sex, but most of them dont want to feel like that's all you want from them. And when you let them know that sex is something you don't need from them, all while building and maintaining a strong erotic and sensual connection, it makes them WANT YOU!

Ask any woman; there's something about a man who turns you on, but doesn't make you feel like a piece of meat or the object of his sexual fantasy (at least early on). There's something about a guy with self control; a man that can get you hot and bothered, but doesn't feel like it has to be right here, right now. Being able to turn a woman on and just... let her marinate... is the single greatest key to my success with women throughout my life.

In every single instance where I engaged a woman, turned her on, and held off sex, not only did she end up literally offering herself to me (usually in a bold and erotic fashion), it lead to a stronger and deeper sexual and emotional connection. I can honestly say that with these three women, as well as many more I've delt with in similar scenarios, I can call them up today and ask them to make themselves available for me this weekend, and they would oblige.

Most men try to escalate to sex as fast as possible.

This, in my opinion and experience, is one of the greatest mistakes a man can make when dealing with a woman.

Do you want sex tonight with some woman you just met, or do you want sex on demand with a woman who wants you to fuck her whenever you desire?

Now, there is a catch... actually... two...

The first is that you have to be able to make the juice worth the squeeze. If you hold off on sex, building a woman's desire, nurturing it from a small spark to a roaring inferno... you have to be able to make it worth it. Your sex game needs to be strong. No one wants to stand in line for two hours at an amusement park for a shitty ride.

You have to be able to completely and totally please and satisfy her desires.

The second catch is that, and again, in my experience, a lot of women get emotionally attached after this kind of interaction. You can't tease a woman physically, all while building a connection mentally and emotionally, then fuck her senseless, and expect her not to get invested.

Most women don't work that way. Some do, mind you, but most don't.

But the lesson is to stop focusing on the sex. Understand that for most women, true sexual pleasure comes with emotional entanglement and desire. Don't be the kid from Oliver Twist begging for some pussy. "PLEASE... may I have some?"

Be the man handing out heaping spoonfuls of amazing dick... And be stingy about it!

As a man, being able to build a woman's desire to the point where she can't contain it any longer, and then being able to completely satisfy that desire, will have women constantly coming back for more, and will make getting laid as simple as making a single phone call.