Quick Bio: Im 41, AA male, athletic build, 6', 200lbs, slightly above average in the manhood dept. My best features are my eyes and my voice (think Allstate man). I lost my v-card on my 15th bday and in the 26yrs that have followed, I've had countless approaches (+500), slept with over 200 women, have had about a half dozen LTRs, and I'm now engaged to a wonderful woman and we frequently enjoy the swinger lifestyle together.
Here's everything Ive learned; from being the best version of yourself, the simplest approaches, building attraction, securing a date (and avoiding flakes), my three date rule, sex that will have her begging for more, and transitioning into a LTR.
Enjoy.
Part One: The Best You
The biggest hurdle you'll face in your seduction journey is trying to convince someone to invest in a product (i.e. YOU) that you don't believe in. Take some time and focus on you. Go to the gym, develop your style, work on building a life and lifestyle that you're happy with and proud of. It makes it so much easier to interact with women/people when you have an awesome life backing you up.
A few quick style tips: It doesn't matter how you dress or what your style is; your clothes should always follow three simple rules: Clean, Neat, Fit. And remember, style is fluid, not stagnant. Sure shorts and a t-shirt are comfortable, but slacks and a button down are stylish. Change it up and dress for the occassion.
You dont need a shit ton of money, the body of a greek god, or the face of a cover model. All you need is a positive attitude, confidence, and a little bit of "fuck it" to be successful with women.
Discover your best features and use them to your advantage. I'm constantly complemented on my voice so I trained myself to speak in a tone/pace that makes people focus and pay attention. Once I have their attention, the rest is cake. Whatever your best feature is, learn to utilize and market it to your advantage.
Part Two: Approaches
Smile. This not only makes you instantly more attractive, it eases tensions in others.
There is no golden opener or perfect pickup line. Odds are, if you approach a random attractive woman, she knows why you're there. Just be authentic and genuine. The truth is that it doesnt matter what you say, but how you say it makes all the difference in the world. And at the end of the day, if she finds you attractive, it less about saying the right thing and more about not saying the wrong thing.
Approach is the goal. Dont focus on anything else. There are a dozen reasons you'll get rejected (IT WILL HAPPPEN!), and 10 of them dont have shit to do with you. Just approach. "No" is always the answer to a question unasked.
A.B.E. - Always Be Escalating. Not just in your approach, but in every step of your romantic interaction.
Make her WANT to. Your job is not to try to convince or persuade her to do anything with you. Your job is to make her want to; want to give you her contact info, want to go out with you, want to kiss you, want to touch you, want to have sex with you, want to be with you. And when a woman wants, it's easier give.
Most importantly, always remember that you are inviting her to be a part of YOUR world, not asking for a place in hers. Women come and go. You are the only constant in your life. So invite her to be a part of it, and not the other way around.
Part 3: Communication
- Diversify your communication. Don't rely on just texts. Since one of my best features is my voice, I'll record a simple voice message and send it to her "Hey. I hope your having a wonderful day. I really enjoy talking to you and I'd love to hear your voice later. Call me when you have some time to chat."
This makes her WANT to talk to me.
Throw in some pics (no dic pics guys) of you just out and enjoying life.
Add a meme or two that describes your mood or day.
Dig deep. Get to know her. Ask about her day, her life, her family, her hopes and dreams, her goals, her fears, her secret desires. Find out as much about who she is and what she wants as possible.
Don't over share. Think of yourself as a nesting doll; share each doll sparringly. No one likes a simple puzzel.
Part 4: Dating
- Don't ask a woman "out". Instead, ask her to join you for something:
"Have any plans Saturday?"
"Not at the moment."
"Well, Im going to go to X and do Y and I remember you mentioned you like X and Y, care to join me? Afterwards, maybe we can Z. I can pick you up or we can meet at (time)."
Now, firstly, this eliminates "flakes" because A) You're doing it anyway and her attendence is not required for you to enjoy your life. And B) How she responds will let you know how to proceed. If she is non-commital, then retract your offer and move on. If she's down, you have plans.
- There are three dates that really matter: The Physical Date (something active that gets your blood flowing and heart racing), the Formal Affair (something that gives her a reason to dress up and show off), and the Intimate Setting (something private for just the two of you). How you interact in these three dates will tell you everything you need to know about each other.
What I typically do is make the first date a physical one, the second a formal one, and for the third, I usually offer to cook her dinner at my place. 99.9995% of the time, this leads to Secci Tymes.
(A quick note about dates: You dont have to spend a lot of money or try to impress a woman. One of my go-to dates when I was low of funds was a picnic in the park. Play some music, make a salad, get some fruit, maybe a bottle of wine, and just sit, chill, and talk. Bring a frisbee or a football)
Learn to cook. You dont have to be a culinary master, but you should have at least a half dozen dishes under your belt; something with chicken, seafood/shellfish, beef/steak, and something vegetarian.
Also, learn to bake. A man that can feed you well, satisfy your sweettooth, and fuck your brains out is always a keeper. Which leads us to...
Part V: Physical Escalation
- Remember, you want to make her WANT to...
One of the ways I do this is a psuedo-push/pull. Let's say I'm out with a woman having drinks at a bar. I'll get close, do something intimate and sensual (kiss her hand, caress her cheek), and then I'll move away. I wait until she comes to me, either closing the distance between us or reciprocating the intimacy. Then I take it to the next level. Rinse... repeat.
- You never want to make a woman feel like she's giving you intimacy. Instead, make her desire that intimacy and fullfill that desire.
Part 6: Sex
There's no one way or "right" way to satisfy a woman. Every woman is different and while there are many commonalities, ultimately, you have to learn each womans body in order to completely satisfy her desires.
To that, learn to "listen" to her body; the way she moves, breathes, the noises she makes (or doesnt), the way she tilts her head, holds her breath, curls her toes, grips the sheets... these are all road markers to her pleasure.
It doesnt (really) matter how big (or small) your dick is, it doesnt matter how good you are at oral (ok... that one kinda matters), what matters is your ability to read and guage her pleasure and respond accordingly.
A few Protips: Stamina isn't how long you can go without climax. Stamina is how long you can maintain the pleasure despite climax. Go down on a woman for 20 minutes, have intercourse for five, and then go down on her again for another 35 minutes and when someone asks her how long she had sex, the answer wont be "five minutes", it'll be an hour.
Always remember the FDL rule: She cums First, she cums During, she cums Last.
And if she doesnt/cant orgasm, it doesn't mean she wont/didnt enjoy it, and it definitely doesnt mean you should focus or obsess over it. A womans pleasure is just as much her responsibility as it is her partners. Some women have a hard time reaching climax. It's not you. Dont overthink it.
Sex isnt just oral and intercourse. Sex is every intimate, sensual moment leading up to, including, and after intercourse. Its all those things you do, all those buttons you can press, that turn each other on. Dont focus on just the physical. If you can turn a woman on without touching her, she will follow you to the ends of the Earth.
Toys are your friend!
Dirty talk is a raunchy conversation. Dont just shout obscenities like a Touretts sufferer; ask questions, make comments, give instructions.
Learn how to give a full body massage.
Part 7: Transitioning into a LTR
Dont focus in the goal. Sure, we all want the white picket fence scenario (or version of), but a relationship is a journey. Dont be the passenger in the car yelling "Are we there yet?" every few dates. More over, know what you want out of a relationship and a partner before seeking to have one. Looking for a relationship without knowing what kind of relationship you want/need is like going to the grocery store hungry; you'll wind up with a lot of crap with very little nutritional value.
When you're ready.... really ready to commit to someone, go out for a drink and have a mature conversation about how you feel, why, and where you want the relationship to go, and ask them to share their thoughts and feelings, then proceed accordingly.
Dont assume that just because you've been on six dates and had sex four times that you're in a relationship.
Hope someone here finds this useful. Its pretty bare bones but its the backbone to the success I've enjoyed with women. Feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions.
Cheers!
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[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mr_Blackbird99 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HowToStud 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Antony_Jabroni 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pdub680 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jikol1906 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Splootato2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Wukong-Legendd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DizzyNanner 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dancing_alpaca_ 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dancing_alpaca_ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeliciousJackfruit5 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]WandersBetweenWorlds 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WandersBetweenWorlds 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mjldj 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]maggieqk 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dawnpriestess 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thegreatoutdoors29 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]olronk1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]devils_taste 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]loukasmel 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]adambuthead1 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ultra-Pulse 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ifthesewoescouldtalk 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Bandit_TFR 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]m00fassa 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]The_Bandit_TFR 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShadyOG34 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SilentButDeadly23 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]callmemrsunshine 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BrunoFromBrazil 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ptolemy222 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yeahboiii28 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gainzville80 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]petergriffin2660 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stockyman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WillStaySilent 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jackmodern 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BetterBeLuckyThanGud 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Naturallyunique 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]boomjeen 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redlamp11 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iam_lam 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gbnz87 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]imstupidfeelbad 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]happyfit94 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Texan2116 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_McLovin69 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daveinpublic 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chocolate_Boy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gotzoe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nickthegreek12345 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mbruno999 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]basedtiddies 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dianekrugerde47 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MetalArctic 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MuskIsAlien 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jenntoddbri 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Deez05 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aconc 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EuphoricOnesieHugs 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IHAVEAPLAN100 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atomic-habanero 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zavinski 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jmiwaga 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]trickedx5 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nerdmeister27 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]happyguy516 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]K4rn31ro 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]realityhacker55 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tyrion69Lannister 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tyrion69Lannister 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pitiji1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]legend503 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fran2071 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigcrescendoMUT 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Fran2072 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]redditerfan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]knowbodyspeshal 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meanqueen18 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CaptInterceptor 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]E_J_H 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smartboy_r_n1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]amjadkh11 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[+][deleted] -11 points-10 points-9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WandersBetweenWorlds 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deadEternally -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]deadEternally -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]octarine768 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]biiiiplease -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Notbuyingthebs0909 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hitojo -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Baldigarius42 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]365649 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]International-Leg-43 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrSkepticism1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Fookitt 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Latter_Revenue6986 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]itsamatterofattitude[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Few_Caterpillar_5556 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheLegende11 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LeaderOfWolves 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tlthang 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AlBundyIsMyHero666 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MrSkepticism1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]123throwaway56789fe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StraightOuttaYEG 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pankipuks123 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jgolf899 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link