What women expect you to do in the first date?

IWriteForGroupies · 2019-01-20T19:53:25+00:00

I believe in order to have a very good first date you need to be a leader. This means making a lot of decisions. In order to get anywhere, you have to escalate through trial and error.

DadOnDabs · 2019-01-20T20:28:00+00:00

Someone already said it but women expect nothing except for you to lead. That's it.

You pick the place to go, how long you stay, where you go next, if the date should continue, etc.

You want to kiss her? Lead and do it.

You want her to come back to your place? Lead and make it happen.

gautz2908 · 2019-01-20T20:03:28+00:00

If you or her have your own place, choose a bar close by. Take her out for drinks, talk about your interests, be confident(if you can't try faking it till an extent). Talk about your favourite movie or show and ask her if she would wanna watch it with you. Once at home go for a kiss while you're watching it, try escalating it from there

confidentgirl · 2019-01-20T22:08:18+00:00

I am definitely a leader on the first date. I naturally am very confident and I have no problem making the first move.

With that being said, a guy with guts to make the first move is a plus.

If you are worried about ther saying no she will tell you right away.

Boomslangalang · 2019-01-21T05:58:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Crixusgannicus · 2019-01-20T21:42:49+00:00

Trying to figure out what women "expect is your first mistake. Become the best you you can become and then be yourself. Unapologetically.

You sort them, not have them sort you.

Avataroffaith · 2019-01-20T21:06:06+00:00

'getting sex'.. that might need addressing. Implies that you're just there to push buttons and extract value. It's a 2 way street where you both want to be enjoying it.

Look, it's very very hard to explain without just getting there and trying. You have to connect. There will be some job interview type questions - what do you do for work? But you have to try talking about feelings. If they ask where you grew up, don't just say 'East Bumfuck'. Tell them how you miss the long summer days in East Bumfuck, running through the sugar cane fields, something that has emotion and memories. Tease the girl, not about anything malicious, but for example how she is already so drunk because she spilled a bit of her drink after 5 minutes.

At first you have to just find or make excuses to touch the girl, and after the excuses it's not a big step to take her hand if you're walking somewhere. A girl I met yesterday had a tattoo on the inside of her wrist, so I just picked up her hand without asking and said 'tell me about the tattoo' and started rubbing it there. Turns out it was about her father who died so there was a connection there as she told me about that. Then I put her hand down and just went back to talking about something else.

You can touch them on the arm or shoulder when you are both laughing. You can gently inspect jewellery, tattoos, etc. If you're about to leave for another venue, say 'lets go' and put your hand out to pull her up from her seat. Stuff like that. You really just have to try, fail, calibrate because it's hard to go from awkward robot to smooth. Eventually when you get a girl who is so into you that she does all this for you, then you kinda learn how it works.

Read the sidebar for kino steps and conversation. Can't type much more on my phone on the train sorry!

2019-01-20T21:15:48+00:00

Own your role. Society expects us men to do what we've always done, which is to protect, provide, and be strong.

Touching on what others have said, leading is a sum of all those parts. Women want to be their most feminine on a date, especially on the first one. They don't want the stress of leading or making decisions. They just want to have fun.

By being comfortable within yourself, with all that makes you, you. You will be able to own your role, create an environment that makes her comfortable and secure, and y'all with both have a great time.

2019-01-21T00:09:28+00:00

Dude don't worry about sex on the first date. You're putting too much pressure on the situation. Just relax, have fun and get to know the other person. Focus on becoming friends first and let things escalate naturally.

jackandjill22 · 2019-01-20T22:40:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

xxsimplyjosh · 2019-01-21T02:30:36+00:00

Watch out with negative talk. Like talking bad about yourself. I just had a first date last night and was very negative about my job, life, ect and was friend zoned this morning. Definitely a learning experience for me.

HawkeyeGK · 2019-01-20T23:06:39+00:00

The point of dating is to get to know someone. So, the answer to your question depends entirely on how you want to accomplish that goal.

Are you comfortable and talkative and engaging over a cocktail? Bar hop. Are you particularly interested in some activity or think you'll learn a lot about someone from how they respond to it? Do that thing with them.

What makes people successful at dating is not following a formula of specific things to do. Guys that are gregarious and good with a cocktail do well at bars. That's how they like to get to know people and probably have been doing that for a long time. You can certainly practice this skill.

But, often, you see guys that don't like that environment put themselves in it for a date. You and your date are trying to get to know each other. You're not well equipped to get to know her out of your element and she's not seeing the best version of you either. So, no Sparks fly and that's that.

Bad first dates either don't put you in a good position to get to know each other by taking you out of your comfort zone or making it difficult to communicate (going to a movie). But, there are no wrong answers, exactly. Dinner is a bit cliche, but do you love food, have a favorite restaurant where you're a regular and know the staff and are comfortable? Well, then that's a pretty good environment for you to get to know someone and to let them get to know you.

Quit looking for a script to follow and take control of your own dating experience by doing whatever it is that puts you in a great position to get to know each other. Believe me, both you and your date will have a better experience and you'll be the best version of yourself.

Avataroffaith · 2019-01-20T20:16:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

A_solo_tripper · 2019-01-20T20:47:38+00:00

Do you have a date set up?

dani098 · 2019-01-20T23:10:27+00:00

You can’t be a complete “nice guy”. You got to escalate, touch, throw little sexual innuendo out there. This is always been my mistake in the past. I still slip up from time to time

Hysteria113 · 2019-01-20T23:34:43+00:00

I’ve also found that guys that constantly need to tell you about how much they get laid don’t really get laid as much as they tell you they do.

26852515 · 2019-01-21T00:26:37+00:00

If you're new to dating and aren't sure how to structure a date, or maybe you're not confident at being able to lead an entire dates worth of decent conversation, try picking an activity for your first date.

Suggestions could be -

Ice skating

Mini golf

Rock climbing

A museum

You don't have to be amazing at the activity, but at least competent (don't wanna spend your whole evening at a skating rink holding onto the railing for dear life)

You'll find it easier to create conversation when you have something to talk about or at least something to do if there are breaks in the flow of conversation

saulisdating · 2019-01-21T05:54:50+00:00

I can answer this question since getting laid on the first date is pretty much my specialty.

The "being able to lead" part some of the other posts alluded to is true. That's very important. But it's just the tip of the huge iceberg.

Basically, from the very start of the date, you need to focus completely on HAVING FUN, without an ulterior motive. Just so she sees you're not some weirdo, sees that you're fun to hang around with and becomes comfortable with you, among other things. That part's important and it's what makes the whole experience enjoyable and not awkward, creepy or weird.

You also need to be physical with her right from the get-go. Starting off slowly at first then being progressively more physical as the date goes on. This is massively important for your later success. Because if you want to have sex with her, she must be completely comfortable with your touch.

After a while, when she sees you're not some weirdo focused on wanting her for just sex, and that you're not desperate or needy, etc. flirt away as much as you want and start getting to really know her on a deeper level. Connection, rapport, vulnerability, all that stuff. Also, be sure to tease her, joke around, do the whole push/pull bit if that's your thing, etc. to spice things up.

Finally comes the sexual tension. Without it, you won't be getting laid. After you've had tons of fun, got to know each other well, flirted with her, lead the way through the date, were interesting, challenging, etc. etc. blah blah, you should really focus on building that all-important sexual tension and then escalating mercilessly but tactfully of course.

If you do all that well and the logistics and everything else are good to go then you'll often get laid. And if you won't, she'll be more than delighted to meet you for subsequent dates.

This is a grossly oversimplified version to just outline the most important points as I'm typing this hastily and don't have time to go into all the detail right now. I use all of the above and get laid on most dates I go to. Hope it helps you. Good luck!

XDarkstarX1138 · 2019-01-20T21:40:43+00:00

Have a good conversation with them. You're probably not getting sex on the first date from most women too, based on my experience at least. Don't stress about it but look at it like it's a casual thing going out and getting to know them. Most women are hesitant to kiss on the first date also.

Rocky__c · 2019-01-20T23:56:20+00:00

Go on action dates! All the fun and excitement that you guys have will automatically add up to you and make her think of the type of fun she has with you.

Association is a thing :)

2019-01-21T00:06:06+00:00

Look up Tom Torero and daygame.com on youtube.

IntelligentAct4 · 2019-01-20T21:53:28+00:00

If you were the one who initiate the date, pay for her meals regardless of the cost. No excuse. Unless you plan on not meeting her ever again in your life.

BayesianBits · 2019-01-21T03:31:46+00:00

Just go on a lot of dates and you'll eventually find your style. Some general advice is to determine the kinda woman YOU want and screen the girl against that.

wont_give_no_kreddit · 2019-01-21T04:11:27+00:00

Lead all you want. Use the best of the situation, try friendly touches with some verbal innuendo. If the reaction is positive, follow through with more intimate touches. Dont go on too strong. In my opinion it could come up as rapey. You never know, you don't want to get me too'd.

rantown · 2019-01-20T20:59:06+00:00

For starters try not paying for her =]

2019-01-20T23:12:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

John-lovestosposh · 2019-01-20T22:32:43+00:00

Stack up your experience, more practice, more learning, more tail and error.

Reddevil313 · 2019-01-21T01:39:38+00:00

Honestly, do something neither of you have done before. Best date I've been on I went to see a show at a place I'd never been to before. She told me it was the best first date she'd ever been on. The place was unique and interesting.

Another great date I went on was pretty similar.

Don't overthink it. Just have fun.

Others have said to lead which is true. Choose where you're going, jump around and if one place ends up sucking jump to another place.

duce3612 · 2019-01-21T02:35:46+00:00

Everything

L0nerizm · 2019-01-21T04:04:29+00:00

Juggle torches while doing cartwheels

confidentgirl · 2019-01-21T00:55:27+00:00

What? I really get frustrated with my fellow women sometimes.

Personally I know how hard it is to make the first move, especially for guys so i would never make a comment like that.

People like that are not worth it and just move on. Sorry that happened to you.

Title	What women expect you to do in the first date?
Author	Sitchnatio
Upvotes	286
Comments	147
Date	January 20, 2019 7:47 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ai1hxf/what_women_expect_you_to_do_in_the_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-women-expect-you-to-do-in-the-first-date.1460875 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460875

Comments