I asked a girl I liked out and she said yes, but later she said no.

Reaver_ · 2019-09-13T03:04:40+00:00

No, but don't make it awkward when you see her next! A day of awkwardness can easily turn into a week of awkwardness!

Madhouse221 · 2019-09-13T03:15:45+00:00

No. Stay friends, genuinely friends, maybe one day you’ll find yourselves together late and the moment will call for a move but don’t count on it, move on. Outcome independence.

Batfan3000 · 2019-09-13T04:59:11+00:00

Just move on for the time being and talk to other girls. Same things happen to me three years ago, but during the time I’ve worked on myself and my game and slept with a few other girls. Now three years later I’ve hooked up wth her 5 times, after the first time she told me we shouldn’t again and that we should stay friends. I didn’t let my emotions get to me and try to convince her otherwise and I said ok, nothing else just gave her a smile. Next time we hung out I switched the rolls and had her chasing me, ended up sleeping with her again. So in short don’t worry about it, go out and meet more people and don’t make things awkward, show her your not afraid of rejection and that you have plenty of other things going on in your life, and that women are just a compliment to your already awesome life :) hope that helps in some way.

Fyst · 2019-09-13T04:48:07+00:00

She didn't say NO.

She raised a concern that it would get awkward and you implicitly agreed that it wouldn't work out, that it would get awkward, and that you shouldn't go out.

You were the one that said NO.

tresor711 · 2019-09-13T04:01:54+00:00

She was very respectful about it and she's probably right, it gets unbearable if you constantly see her after you break up. She's probably doing you both a favour.

mrhaloman95 · 2019-09-13T04:17:06+00:00

Move on dude move on

Andinov · 2019-09-13T06:48:05+00:00

"Is there anything else that I can do?"

This is an easy one.

Play it cool, treat her the same as always, make sure to give her a big wave or "how's your week?" the next time you see her. The tempting thing can be to avoid the problem, glance away etc and indeed she may do the same to you. Don't accept that, set the tone that nothing has changed, you two are still good friends.

But

Get out there talking to the other girls.

She'll notice.

Her problem is that she potentially didn't see you romantically until you asked her out. It takes time for that to change. What will help it change quicker is seeing that she might actually be missing out on a great opportunity with you.

From your perspective it's a win win. You will either go on and find someone as good if not better or she'll come to you.

Good luck

Wkkc2018 · 2019-09-13T03:15:47+00:00

Just leave it alone.

GrumpyRPGReviews · 2019-09-13T05:25:01+00:00

Move on.

uptimex · 2019-09-13T05:26:59+00:00

This means that she doesn't like you enough yet. Your value is not enough high for her to go out with you. Don't be awkward but show some disinterest to her. Like "I am here for practicing and it is the main reason I am here, you are just another person there". But be careful not to act offended or something. Just disinterest, like how would you act if you had 5 other girls you are seeing. And see her reaction. 80% she will start to give some IOIs because she can't get your attention anymore.

DimitriT · 2019-09-13T07:55:18+00:00

Imagine her getting a boyfriend and you still practice. I think that scenario is way, waaay worse than having a falling out! That's why I always took the chance of ruining our friendship for the benefit of getting together. If we "fall out", it's still better than alternative. And if we don't then it's perfect.
If you really like the girl more than just friends you should take that risk.
I also understand the girls point of view. There is nothing more annoying than having somebody making the situation awkward for the rest of the time you are bound together.
I guess there are couple of things that girls wants:
1: Reassurance that you are not the type of person who will make it awkward if you fall out.
2: Reassurance that you wont just trow your friendship for something you are not sure about.
3: That you are already in love and it can't be stopped, giving it a change is the best you can do.
4: Be cool about ANYTHING. If it works out you are cool and if it does not you are cool to.

The best thing you can do is be honest. Tell her that you are afraid of the same thing, but staying together as friends is way worse at this moment. Tell her that you do not expect things to work out in a relationship. Tell her that you are curious if you can become better friends outside of practice without any strings attached. Tell her that maybe you are meant to be practice buddies or maybe something more but it's impossible to know that without going on at least one date.

That's how you get her on a date but don't call it date, just call it the activity you are doing. If you go to the park then call it a "Saturday parkwalk" or what ever. Don't pressure it as a date! Then it's for you to find out if you want to spend more time with her or not.

Also: Don't blame me if you fuck up. I just here to give advice, what's you decide to do is up to you and her.

snake6002 · 2019-09-13T03:31:18+00:00

No. Just keep being her friend and maybe eventually she’ll come to you. For now don’t try to force it or it’ll just get awkward.

2019-09-13T01:53:07+00:00

nope

TBomberman · 2019-09-13T04:42:38+00:00

You should have said, if we end up dating, that means you'd like me along with and what's the harm in that? As well as so that would be a good thing for both of us.

WilliamATurner · 2019-09-13T07:03:28+00:00

She said ‘no’, which means ‘no’. There is ‘no’thing you can do about it.

But you can try to not be awkward the next day. She probably thinks you are cool, but not the kind of guy she’d date. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friends at practice

HOOF_HEARTED91 · 2019-09-13T05:51:39+00:00

"I hear you, let's just hangout with any expectations and see where it goes..."

ice_and_snow · 2019-09-13T06:59:26+00:00

Take her out, genuinely as a friend, hit on other girls

eingebrannt · 2019-09-13T08:20:57+00:00

She talked to her friends and they told her she could do better.

No, just move on to the next one.

zach-oyster · 2019-09-13T08:24:28+00:00

Go for other girls and make sure she’s watching

Spidur7 · 2019-09-13T09:59:10+00:00

Your response is great. If she wants to see you she will reach out to you. Be patient. And keep doing you!

2019-09-13T10:13:40+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblYSKz_VnI

aaaa2xa · 2019-09-13T10:53:10+00:00

lol i remember i liked this guy and i made it so obvious i liked him then he asked me out. and i said no. but i still like him. but he didn’t make it look awkward when we met again. he didn’t talk to me and i didn’t talk to him.

SkywayTraffic · 2019-09-13T15:16:55+00:00

This is one of the most sane posts I've ever seen in this sub. Good job OP.

soundslikebliss · 2019-09-13T19:14:21+00:00

A lot of people are talking about “awkwardness” but aren’t really explaining what that means. To explain further what awkward is from a girls perspective (they also say creepy), is basically neediness. A guy who is wavered by his environment or circumstances is NOT attractive to the female energy. So, she says, “no”, and it does not affect your life in ONE BIT. Stay true to who you are and your desires. It’s okay to still know and express that you are interested in her, because that’s your truth. And, at the same time, it does not affect you hearing a no, because as a man, you know what you want, and you’re going to get it, even if it means finding it in another woman.

An attractive man is one who allows others to express and live their lives they way they please, while at the same time, expressing and firmly believing in a life they wish to live. If you are not in alignment with her (or anyone else) you continue your path until you find those who are in alignment.

So from here, and as a man, what will you do?

UsefulAccount5 · 2019-09-13T04:27:05+00:00

Don't dwell on it dude. Girls are fickle af

paulinbc · 2019-09-13T05:03:13+00:00

Very businesslike.

Professional.

Maybe when you do get together you could read the Journal.

2019-09-13T08:42:02+00:00

I you were just the second or third choice of her.

Now a days as a men you are never allowed to be in any way emotional invested into a girl until she is really desiring you after some months.

Never be the second choice....It will hurt you or you will get divorced.

2019-09-13T10:04:46+00:00

Yes but actually no

hoanghehe420 · 2019-09-13T12:56:38+00:00

Just keep it short,text like:ok cool.thats it

2019-09-13T13:42:15+00:00

Don't do anything! Just be devil may care and she'll come around maybe

Silva_Shadow · 2019-09-13T14:03:17+00:00

You failed her shit test and girls don't even know that they're shit testing you.

If you want a chance to recover, talk to her like normal but take away all of your non sexual attention from her and start talking to the other women and men on your team. The one machinations of her mind will see that you're confident, that you might be fucking other girls, and she might send you a signal in one way or another that she wants you to take the lead and begin the dance again and take her down the path of a good smashing.

Fuck these honeys to sleep.

iceicebabyvanilla · 2019-09-13T14:19:30+00:00

When you said “let me know when YOU change your mind,” you’ve just put yourself in her hand/control.

Plus, the whole don’t date just in case we break up thing is so fucking dumb. I’d move on from this chick.

2019-09-13T14:48:08+00:00

Bro you really don’t want to date her. I went out with a girl on my sports team, and she ended things. But now we are on the same sports team together and it’s awkward as crap. So I would just pick yourself up, and carry on.

nicepantalons · 2019-09-13T14:59:42+00:00

Well yes but actually no

EngineeredKing · 2019-09-13T16:14:30+00:00

She gave you her answer, don’t keep pushing her. Just accept it and let it go, the ball is in her court now

STylerMLmusic · 2019-09-13T16:44:01+00:00

One no and go but keep your options open.

grate314 · 2019-09-13T16:57:53+00:00

Yes. Ask out another girl.

goron24 · 2019-09-13T17:50:16+00:00

She said yes not to make a scene and rejected you by text. Pretty decent of her.

Raichee · 2019-09-13T18:12:26+00:00

I did that to a girl. I never actually planned on dating her. But was too much of a puss to say no in person.

2019-09-13T18:35:29+00:00

WTF!? Fight for that bitch. Tell her your the one making it awkward by saying it's awkward. That shit is just a word. You gotta be present with shit and let stuff go. This is the secret to being good at game and with life in general. You do this by being present within your body while you talk to someone. Every motion you do you're projecting your emotions onto someone. This is how you become charismatic and well-liked. You'll soon see that you don't need your mind to think and your body will just do it by itself without the ego attached.

I talk to girls all the fucking time and they hate it when a guy can't speak to them in a normal way that's non-robotic. This is why you get blown out or why people don't' wanna be around you in general. Lack of emotion. As long as you open with the right emotion you won't get blown out as much as you did. You just gotta dial things in right.

1girldaily · 2019-09-13T18:35:35+00:00

you need to get more aggressive and keep inviting her out with a light hearted fun attitude.

women change their minds like the ocean crashes on the surf....

one minute they're down the next they're not.

Youve got to influence it to make it work for you

Brad Holiday

www.luxlifedating.com/home

2019-09-13T18:56:51+00:00

It sounds like she likes you okay. Maybe she isn't head over heels for you, but sees you as a romantic possibility when the option is presented to her.

It also sounds like she thought about it and realized if it doesn't work out, things will be weird, and she doesn't like you enough to take that risk. I'm not saying that to be mean, but so that you'll get there's no reason to keep trying. There probably isn't a spark on her end.

That's okay! You must be pretty cool if she said yes initially. Just keep it moving and ask another girl out :)

Mr_Papa_Giorgio · 2019-09-13T21:30:25+00:00

This is why you don't label it a date. Just ask her to join you somewhere. If she asks if it's a date then say "It's just just friends that spend alone time together". You have to say it jokingly or flirtatious like. For some reason women hate labels. Just get her to join you alone and build chemistry. You can even try asking her to join you at that moment like after practice or after school. It doesn't have to be days away.

You lost a little ground but its not over. I would suggest going out with someone else and let her see and know. Lots of times women will want you once your taken. Even take out a girl you aren't crazy about. Just show her that you are desireable to other girls. Treat the new girl right and she will get jealous. Its a powerful motivator

FrankManWatup · 2019-09-13T21:42:43+00:00

she didnt tell you no.... she just said she was worried... you supposed to tell her you have confidence in being a good man for her and that you have 0 intentions to treat her wrong ya doofus

recyclablebanthas · 2019-09-14T02:18:07+00:00

I respect her reasoning and fully understand why she said this.

Just a couple notes on this:

People often don't understand their own feelings or want to explain themselves because that can be too personal.
When they really want something, they will look for ways around obstacles, not create them.
While she came up with a logical sounding reason to justify her decision, it's very likely that the real reason is something she doesn't understand or want to explain.

I mention this because some of the comments on the thread represent a common desire to want to logically debate with the reasons she gave.

But since the reasons are not truly logical at their core, gaming her or debating wouldn't work. At best she'd agree with you logically, but then she'd find another obstacle.

Is there anything else I can do?

Not really, though it's unclear what you mean here.

There's no way you can change her mind.

You could continue to respect the boundaries that she laid out. But if you truly do that and she still feels uncomfortable, that's out of your hands.

JuanOnOne · 2019-09-13T07:29:45+00:00

I would have left out the “if you change your mind, let me know”. This sort of implies that she can have you whenever she wants because you’re gonna be waiting for her like a good little dog. Moving forward just act normal with her. Be her friend. Focus on other girls. If she sees you don’t really give a fuck there’s a chance she might “change her mind”.

2019-09-13T08:23:48+00:00

The reply what should have been: i like you enough that i am willing to take that risk

2019-09-13T08:58:48+00:00

I don't want to date you because it might end. Wtf?

BeforeTheStormz · 2019-09-13T03:53:24+00:00

Sometimes you got to vouch for yourself.

“Hey I understand but is there a way we can talk about it over ice cream? I’ll pay”

Than say hey you know im not that type of guy and It does no harm trying it out.

If it doesnt than were still gonna be friends and this will just be a funny story. But what if it does? Isnt it worth it to take that risk because you dont know what it could lead to.

Bench on her missing out and how you do have feelings and that she should reconsider.

Never accept a friendship when you want more

Don't be a dick about it but tell her how you feel and sell yourself.

crandiesel · 2019-09-13T06:05:11+00:00

It's already unbearable....to step out of your comfort zone and ask for a date and then for her to say yes only to reject you later over something that may or may not ever happen. Smh. Now you have to deal with the fallout in solitude because you said it's okay and you understand yet here you are asking if there is anything else that could be done....I'm going to say emphatically no. Not because I'm being mean but because you have yet to make her see the why. As in why should she take a risk with you. Find your why. Know your why. Next opportunity make sure the other party is so captivated by your why that they feel they have no choice but to bet on your why.

Alex_O7 · 2019-09-13T07:09:21+00:00

Your answer was a bit a "beta male"-like move. But it is just a feedback for the future. I would have responded with a more bold statement, maybe something more funny and playfull. You played the soft game and now you really don't have to fall into the friendzone (because she already knows that you like her anyway even without dating etc).

You have to tease her a bit and remain funny and nice with her. I think also that you maybe have to be more "explicit" with her and sexualize more, because she have to see you as a potential good partner. Now she didn't see you in that way (for this reason she have the "fear of making things awkward", because she fears that you couldn't be a good partner).

gilgil3331 · 2019-09-13T10:29:04+00:00

I'm quite sure a lot of people won't agree with me here but it sounds to me like she's actually pretty interested, but she's just concerned about the consequences in case this thing between you goes south, or what the people surrounding her will think about that. If I were you, I'd probably try telling her something like: look I get what you're saying but I think your amazing and I'm afraid that we're both could miss something good here. Of course I'll understand and respect every decision you make, but this is what I think". By saying that you make yourself look more secure in your standing, and make here reconsider the possibility that dating you is a risk worth taking, which isn't certain but might change her mind.

Geoffreymarsh · 2019-09-13T11:03:33+00:00

Maybe she’s a bipolar or she’s shy ☺️

2019-09-13T11:50:01+00:00

Next time hit with a if you change your mind you know where to find me

TabooJuice · 2019-09-13T15:18:10+00:00

I think you still have a chance, just don’t get angry. She could just be super nervous, which is what it sounds like. She’s going thru all of these ‘what if’ scenarios in her head, meanwhile you just asked her to hang out lol.

I think that staying her friend is good & the key here is to make her feel comfortable around you. This way, in a few weeks you can try asking her out again & maybe she’ll follow thru.

eyesopen1111 · 2019-09-13T08:15:42+00:00

Of course there are things you can do to win the girl over! It’s called "seduction" and you’d think this sub would know something about the topic. Lame ass commentators who tell you to accept the friend zone or give up after the first faint sign of trouble just suck. Ignore them. You have to keep trying more than once with most girls worth having.

First, this girl is attracted to you. She reflexively said, "Yes," to your offer. She sees value in you already. She was immediately receptive to your offer to go out. Then she had second thoughts. She's worried about losing you as a friend, blah blah blah. She sounds more young, inexperienced and/or inhibited rather than unattracted.

You need to awaken the womanhood in her, re-position yourself in her mind, and then escalate the relationship until it’s where you want it to be. Thus, I’d start teasing her more often to edge up your game. That "call me if you change your mind" stuff is not sexy and makes you sound too available. Make her jealous. Make her a pivot. "It’s totally your fault..." Flirt with her. Flirt with other girls. Have fun.

Mike_Litoris_Isawer · 2019-09-13T12:46:35+00:00

What she said was: Maybe but I want you to spank my ass and drag me out of class to the toilets. Then I'll know you have what it takes

Time2MeetYourMaker · 2019-09-13T03:24:49+00:00

I think you should keep going after her, try to get to know her on a personal level and in few weeks you ask her again

Title	I asked a girl I liked out and she said yes, but later she said no.
Author	Paddy_Platy
Upvotes	474
Comments	137
Date	September 13, 2019 1:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d3i669/i_asked_a_girl_i_liked_out_and_she_said_yes_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-asked-a-girl-i-liked-out-and-she-said-yes-but.1478488 https://theredarchive.com/post/1478488

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