Do men blame women for their problems?

Skirt_Douglas · 2024-04-03T03:58:57+00:00

I mean, you’re going to see a lot of dumb generalizations about men on Reddit. So there’s that.

that men blame women for their problems

A very small anmoun of individual men blame women for their problems, sure, but to claim that all men, when talking about men’s issues just blame everything on women, is absurd. Whoever is saying that is likely just trying to minimize Men’s Issue, again, you will see a lot of that on Reddit. I also think feminists see men criticizing society writ large, but then project onto them that they are just criticizing women only, because that’s exactly what they do with men.

ArmchairDesease · 2024-04-03T04:54:14+00:00

Nope.

Contrarily to feminism, we don't see men's problems as caused by a cartoonishly oppressive tyranny of women. Reality is more complex.

YetAgain67 · 2024-04-03T14:37:25+00:00

Sure, some men. But the idea that men, generally, direct blame for their issues on women is just not something they do. At all.

Maybe older generations of men had more of a penchant for it ("my wife, amirite!? boomer humor comes to mind) but from my perspective men today don't even direct blame for their issues anywhere. They just shoulder their personal burdens like good little boys and bury them inside without knowing how to analyze them. All the while men today are told be more open and vulnerable and express their issues and immediately told to shut up and stop burdening others (women) with said issues as soon they say something mainstream online feminists don't wanna hear.

A man can express their issues, but they also have to accept that their issues are their burden, their fault, and only up to them to fix. A man's issues are only tacitly accepted if he understands it's all down to his personal flaws and brokeness as a man. Oh, and "the patriarchy."

Dashing2026 · 2024-04-03T05:04:04+00:00

I would say the problem lies in feminist ideology, which is harbored by both men and women, so it is not women specifically who cause men's problems.

The other contributor to men's issues today is neoliberalism, which is far more significant than feminism.

YallGotAnyBeanz · 2024-04-03T15:59:14+00:00

It’s crazy to say Reddit of all places is very misogynistic when it’s probably the most left leaning social media site available right now.

hotpotato128 · 2024-04-03T04:06:30+00:00

Most men? No. Few men? Yes.

Plenty_Lettuce5418 · 2024-04-03T13:09:54+00:00

this would be WILDLY inaccurate and reductive phrasing. "men blaming women for all their issues", more like "society under bernaysian democracy has made people increasingly self centered and atomized and now we are all in solitude serving our every selfish desire, and among the myriad of problems is the destruction of the family dynamic which is mostly feminism's fault"

_name_of_the_user_ · 2024-04-04T00:15:35+00:00

I do blame women for men's problems. No less than I blame men for men's problems, and no more either. But even that is seen as misogynistic by people who believe women are incapable of participating in and influencing society.

I also mostly only go to women for emotional reasons. Well, one woman. That's because my spouse is a woman and my spouse is the person I confide in and trust the most.

I really don't see a problem with any of that.

hottake_toothache · 2024-04-03T12:56:28+00:00

Maybe a few do, but overwhelmingly no.

Men have been lied to about women's nature and so when life experience teaches them the truth they go through a dissillusionment, but this is not the same as blaming them for our problems.

Talik1978 · 2024-04-03T20:38:38+00:00

It happens, yes. That said, I believe a lot of the time people claim it happens is projection. For example, if a guy speaks about a societal problem that affects men, and the response is, "well, what do you expect women to do about it," or "that's not women's job to fix," or some variation of that defensive energy.

Unusual_Implement_87 · 2024-04-04T18:25:00+00:00

If you go to forums and places where lonely men congregate 99% of the posts will be about men blaming themselves. Occasionally there will be a post where someone blames women and it will get screenshotted and shared with reddit to make redditors think all the men are like that.

There can also be times where men bring up some factual statistics like women having an easier time dating because there are more men than women in the 18-35 demographic in a certain area, and people will interpret this as thinking they are blaming women.

The posts you see on reddit complaining about men blaming women is just gaslighting.

BloomingBrains · 2024-04-07T07:31:43+00:00

Women make up 50% of society and influence it accordingly.

Society in general is not treating men well.

Therefore, women are part of the problem.

Of course, so are other men, but that doesn't mean the statement is wrong. To pretend as if women have no influence on men's issues is to pretend they aren't intelligent and capable enough to influence society, which is misogynist.

The waters get a little muddy, though. I draw the line at MGTOWs and Red Pillers saying female nature is evil. No, misandrist women believe the way they do because of fearmongering and such. They've been told from a young age men are evil and all that. It doesn't absolve them of responsibility, just like white racists aren't innocent just because "it was a racist time back then" but that doesn't mean its entirely their fault either.

In conclusion, the world is shades of gray.

Cross55 · 2024-04-03T10:48:31+00:00

Societal or Personal?

For the former, no, most generally don't.

Personally? Well, I seem to have been horrendously unlucky in life in that most of the women in my family and girls/women I grew up around were either horrid or incompetent. So, I do blame those specific ones for problems I deal with, but not the female sex as a whole, no.

BCRE8TVE · 2024-04-03T17:58:56+00:00

On the one hand, men have basically fixed most issues with our lives that are unrelated to women and relationships, and we cannot fix issues about women and relationships on our own because it's a 2 player game.

So the only issues left to address revolve around women and we can't solve them without their participation, participation that more often than not they are unwilling to give and resentful about.

You also have to understand that nowadays "misogyny" means whatever the other person wants it to mean, from "he actually hates women" up to "he is critical of women" and even "he said something that hurt my feelings". Misogyny is rampant because it means whatever the fuck they want it to mean and it s an easy button to push to shut down any conversation and shut up the other side.

It absolutely is because people blame men a lot because as a society we still treat worn as though they're made of sugar and spice and everything nice, especially feminists.

This is ironic because it's extremely infantilizing and patriarchal, but hey its something women can use to their benefit so feminism will gladly wield double standards, discrimination, and even open hatred, wherever it benefits them.

Per being in too bad a headspace to look into it, I hear you. Don't go looking into it, it's not going to help your headspace.

Focus on things you can do to make your own life better take control of your situation, and make you feel better about yourself.

NHS_24 · 2024-04-04T23:29:53+00:00

Some, but not all of them.

2024-04-06T00:10:28+00:00

There are definitely aspects of the way male friendships work that make it harder to form a close bond. A lot of men are terrified of intimacy, so they only develop surface-level friendships based on pissing about, and never anything deeper.

Men bond by shared activities, which makes it hard to maintain friendships as an adult with a full time job. Women are content to just sit and have a conversation with nothing else going on. Men don't really do that, we need to be doing something. Within the constraints of modern life, that something is usually drinking. It means a lot of male friendships depend on getting together and getting drunk, which is not a very strong or healthy foundation for a relationship.

LittleSister10 · 2025-02-17T04:38:52+00:00

Are you a guy? If you are, then you aren't going to get the comments, replies, or DMs from men filled with all the vile and unhinged takes on things that they say to most women.

thorwawaay649 · 2026-01-30T05:39:29+00:00

Clearly this sub is an echo chamber so let a woman chime in here with some lived experience and not just opinions without experience. (sorry but yeah I know more about what being a women is like).

Yes, men and society as a whole including other women are more likely to blame women than men because of the power imbalance between men and women.

Of course women are resentful of men in a way. Can you blame us? I don’t blame black people for resenting white people to an extent, until proven safe ya know? And I’m just saying there aren’t very many safe men at all…

Patriarchy is systemic, very engrained, and very old.

The same way all of you are doing mental gymnastics to deny the realities of oppression, that could be done about racism and homophobia as well but it’s less accepted than denying misogyny is.

If I were to say that black people have it harder, no one (minus very obvious racists) would deny that fact. But saying women have it harder even in left wing male spaces gets denied. It’s truly baffling how engrained this shit is man and it won’t change if always denied.

I’ll give an example. When men sexually assault a woman people ask “what was she wearing” “why was she drunk around him” “she led him on” “why didn’t she see the red flags” or worse “why didn’t she say no more” “she’s lying” things of this nature.

Another one: when a woman marries a man who ends up changing up on her and being a bad husband and father “why doesn’t she pick better men” “she should leave him”

If she leaves him: “wow she broke up her family” “she gave up on him while he’s in a really bad place”

Woman can’t win.

Do any of yall understand at all or just don’t want to???

MentionExciting5448 · 2026-03-23T09:16:17+00:00

Oh my gosh, who in the world who rules? Men rule— the buck stops there. I don’t see many women going around starting wars beating men to death. why would anybody blame them all those women they just rape, rape, rape all the time that’s all you hear. Is that how women are raping people I mean, who wouldn’t blame women

hansonsdiseased · 2026-04-15T05:42:05+00:00

Yes.sailors who used to crash their shops blames imaginary women.

It all started in the garden when a man did something wrong and blames the woman. It all went downhill from there.

MushroomOk7124 · 2026-06-28T09:48:39+00:00

Lots of women hating on here uhh

MushroomOk7124 · 2026-06-28T09:54:04+00:00

idk how yall manage keeping anyone at all in there lives nor am I looking for personal answers just in general only saying that cause im not really allowed having answers from past men simply because they don’t answer me and often avoid me vs bother me out of the blue only because i feel as if yall self centered and can’t even answer a woman’s question so uhh yeah ngl both suck but specially men did hurt me on a personal level that they suck and generally hurt me in general like out of the blue time to time so uhh yeah blame whoever started this be in the first place

Sum_nggah_name_brian · 2026-07-17T10:34:49+00:00

Chrono_convoy

Sum_nggah_name_brian · 2026-07-21T05:28:11+00:00

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-04-03T12:07:13+00:00

Some incels blame women because they believe that as people, they are owed sex, but that is a fringe group. There are more examples, but I seriously doubt it would make up any significant number of people.

Women blame us, and I guess that's not technically completely false - men built this society, and this society is shit.

However, those men have little to nothing to do with millennial and gen z men.

Take their maleness away from them, and I have just as much in common with the people that set up this society as some random woman does, which is absolutely nothing. The contents of our underpants are our only similarity.

Setari · 2024-04-04T02:22:28+00:00

There's definitely a very minor, very vocal subset of women and men who blame each other for their problems that make it seem like the entire gender as a whole is blaming each other.

Most people don't give a shit. But there's definitely reasons 60% of men are single and it ain't men who keep to themselves and don't stir the damn pot by being abusive and pieces of shit, etc.

I saw a helluva lotta comments recently somewhere about literally the entire country of Finland having more feminist-leaning laws and government, and the dudes over there don't even pursue women anymore, because there's no point. The law is so slanted against them over there that they are literally required to sit out of dating and wait for women to approach them to keep their lives intact. I'm too lazy to go look for sources on that rn though.

And ngl, I feel that way as an average-looking dude in the US now, I have since the beginning of the #metoo stuff several years ago. I've been alone for 10+ years with no friends or gfs, I don't even know what's acceptable socially anymore lmao. So why bother.

Not to mention I can literally go to prison for being ugly and saying 'hi' to a moderately attractive woman. It's not good for dudes in the US rn IMO. And it won't be for a looooong time. If ever.

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